


My Life Has Been Saved

by Liz3yy317865



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Anna Deacon, Cameron Deacon - Freeform, Current day Deaky, Deaky is clueless, F/M, Gen, John Deacon romance, Joshua Deacon - Freeform, Laura Deacon - Freeform, Leila Deacon, Luke Deacon - Freeform, Michael Deacon - Freeform, Robert Deacon - Freeform, Slow Burn, Veronica is an angel, colleagues to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:55:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 113,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21721366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz3yy317865/pseuds/Liz3yy317865
Summary: Libby wondered if she'd ever find work again, 4 long months after being laid off from her well paid PA job in the CityMeanwhile, in the suburbs one John Richard Deacon is floundering over his pending divorce from his wife of almost 45 yearsWill fate work to bring them together, when they need each other the most?
Relationships: John Deacon/Original Female Character(s), John Deacon/Veronica Tetzlaff
Comments: 66
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Folks, I’m super excited to post this. My first current day Deaky fiction which I hope you’ll all enjoy. It’s gonna be a slow burn and Deaky himself doesn’t make an appearance just yet, so bear with me! I need to thank the incredible @painkiller80 on Tumblr for giving me the inspiration to write this, and for beta reading it for me.
> 
> OK, here goes……

4 months, 4 long months Libby had been out of work and she was starting to wonder if she’d ever find meaningful and paid employment ever again. She hadn’t been overly concerned initially when she was suddenly laid off from her very well paid PA job in the City of London following unexpected cut backs, The initial shock had quickly worn off with the help of copious amounts of wine and her friends ears to bend. 

Libby would admit at first it had been disorientating, suddenly having no real structure to her day. She was a creature of habit, finding comfort and satisfaction from her regular day time routine. She prided herself on being organised, professional and always on time no matter what life dared to throw at her. Her friends and family however reassured her that life has a funny way of working itself out, and that redundancy could be a blessing in disguise. 

As the weeks dragged on Libby began to relax and enjoy her enforced break from work, finally having the time to catch up properly with old friends, get things done around the house she’d been putting off and embarking on a long awaited and well deserved holiday down in Cornwall. She had been savvy enough over the years to put some money aside “for a rainy day” which had built up into a nice little nest egg. Now that rainy day had arrived she was incredibly grateful and relieved to not have to worry about how she would pay her bills…at least for the time being. 

Savings don’t last forever though, and as the weeks turned into months Libby started to worry. She’d allowed herself some time off as she’d been advised that jumping straight into another job may be counterproductive, it was better to take stock and indulge in some me time before deciding on what to do next rather than risk being stuck in a job she hated. The time to relax however was now long gone thanks to her dwindling bank balance, Libby had no choice but to dust off her CV, get her suit dry cleaned and brush up on her interview skills before embarking on a serious search for work. 

She had been confident that it would only be a matter of time before she has back doing what she did best, after all she had over 20 years-experience in running other people’s lives, plus all the skills and qualifications a prospective employer could ever want…so why then after what felt like hundreds of applications was she being rejected time and time again? It was like groundhog day, stuck in a nightmarish cycle of don’t call us, we’ll call you. “Thank you for your application, please assume if you haven’t heard from us within 14 days you have been unsuccessful” etc…etc…

Sipping at her rapidly cooling mug of coffee Libby sighed, forced a smile on her face and mentally prepared herself for yet another day of job hunting. A tight schedule of agency meetings and face to face interviews awaited her across the city from Canary Wharf to Oxford Street and everywhere in-between. It had been a real effort to convince people to actually meet with her, so If nothing came from today she would seriously have to consider quitting the capital altogether and look into relocating somewhere cheaper, and even changing careers. 

Libby made a face at the thought of having to move away from her home town and starting again, she was a born and bred Londoner and dreaded the prospect of having to leave behind everything (and everyone) that she knew and loved. No, there had to be a way out of this. “the right job for me is out there somewhere, I just haven’t found it yet” she said to herself with determination as she took a final glance in the mirror, checking her make-up and fixing a few loose strands of hair. “Come of Libby, let’s do this”. 

The day had started off on a positive note despite the gloomy December British weather threatening to dump a weeks-worth of rain on its inhabitants in one go, and the underground having its usual Monday morning hiccups. Libby’s first appointment of the day was at the flagship branch of a well-known high street bank, the Executive Assistant role she was there for being well within her remit. On paper it was perfect for her, the job description listing everything she could do with her eyes shut so Libby was quietly confident this could be the one. Yes she had a good feeling about this. 

Sadly, the somewhat bored looking interviewer didn’t seem to feel the same way….

“…..I can see from your resume here that your last position was quite a few months ago, why was that?”

“…..Is there any reason for a skilled professional such as yourself to be out of work for so long?”

“….What actions did you take between roles to find employment”?

Libby knew this was a bust, if they couldn’t get past their fixation on her redundancy what hope did she have of convincing them of her worth? 

“As I mentioned at the start of the interview, my previous position was made redundant, as were many others within the company” she answered (again) politely, “I took the opportunity at that point to review my skills and experience and take some time for myself before searching for my next role” 

“Hmmm….well thank you for your time today Miss Johnson, we’ll be in touch should we wish to take your application to the next stage” Libby could read between the lines, and knew she wouldn’t be called back, again. Forcing a smile on her face she shook the interviewers hand and left the building with what little dignity she still had intact. 

Back out on the street Libby took a deep breath sighing sadly, she felt humiliated and judged, looked down upon simply because her previous employer couldn’t afford to keep her on. It seemed to be a common theme of late, prospective employers not willing to hire anyone with an enforced gap in their work history. It was like wearing a badge of shame that stood out like a sore thumb.  
It was now 10am and Libby’s next appointment was in just 20 minutes, she briefly considered cancelling but knew that wouldn’t solve anything, she couldn’t let one failed interview ruin the rest of her day. Holding her head high she set off back towards the tube sending a silent prayer to whoever was listening to please let the rest of the day be kind to her. 

Libby’s prayers went unanswered. By the time she left her final appointment of the day at 4pm she’d given up all hope of ever finding work again and was in a seriously bad mood. Every appointment had been a waste of time with bored, uninterested and rude interviewers asking cliched, stale and often downright bizarre questions. She’d walked out of one meeting half way through when it became clear she’d only been invited to make up the numbers. 

The only positive she could take from the day was that she was done early enough to miss the London rush hour. Flopping down in a seat on the train Libby pulled her scarf tighter around her shoulders, clutching her purse to her chest whilst gazing up at the adverts adorning the carriage. Her mind wandered as the tube bounced along “how much do basement apartments in the suburbs go for these days?”

As the train neared her destination and the crowds thinned out Libby spotted a discarded London Times on the seat opposite, she didn’t normally bother reading the free papers given out at stations but this time something made her reach for it. She scanned through the headlines and numerous articles about London life, making a mental note to check out a new exhibition at the Whitechapel art gallery. The jobs section was small today, barely two pages but one particular advert caught Libby’s eye. 

“Retired musician seeks private personal assistant with at least 5 years-experience to manage day-to-day business and personal needs. Must be warm, caring and professional with excellent organisational and time management skills. An understanding and appreciation of the music industry would be an advantage, but not necessary. Position to be based from clients home office in West London. Salary dependent on skills and experience” 

Libby read the advert carefully, then read it again and again. Could this this be the perfect opportunity she’d been searching for?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Libby, a 45 year old PA wonders if she’ll ever find work again 4 long months are being laid off. Meanwhile in the suburbs John Richard Deacon is bitter and floundering over his pending divorce from his wife of over 44 years. Will fate work to bring them together, when they need each other the most? 
> 
> Warnings: Some very mild profanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok folks, here is chapter two of my modern day Deaky fiction. The main man himself doesn’t yet make an appearance yet (that will be in chapter 3) but he is mentioned quite a bit. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it :D
> 
> Comments are welcome, but please be kind. I'm fairly new still to this writing malarky!

“Shit!”

Libby had been so engrossed in the job advert that she hadn’t noticed that the train had reached her stop. She stuffed the newspaper in her purse before running for the doors only just making it. The last time she had almost missed her stop she’d been drunk after a work party and had broken the heel off her shoe after tumbling over on the platform. She chuckled to herself at the memory, thinking back nostalgically at how daft she’d been whilst heading for the exit. 

Annoyingly it had started to rain heavily so she ended up half jogging all the way home, holding the now crumpled newspaper over her head. After what felt like an eternity (why does going anywhere on foot take longer when it rains?) the comforting sight of home came into view. Libby adored her little 1 bed basement apartment in Beckton, she had lived there over 10 years getting to know the area very well, and forged good relationships with her neighbours and local business owners. 

She shivered as she closed the front door behind her dumping her purse on the floor (along with the now forgotten newspaper) ignoring the small pile of mail on the doormat and headed to the kitchen for a much needed cup of tea followed by a long hot bath, it was sorely needed to wash away the damn awful day she’d had. 

“That’s better!” Libby sighed happily an hour later as she sank down onto her sofa wrapped up in a fluffy dressing gown and clutching a glass of wine, her favourite chardonnay no less. She may be in a precarious financial situation right now but still deserved a treat. Sipping on her wine she flipped through the TV channels hoping to find one of her go-to sitcoms or cookery programmes, her worries temporarily forgotten. 

Later on that night with virtually a whole bottle of wine gone Libby was feeling slightly more upbeat, a takeaway pizza and tub of Ben and Jerry’s also helping to improve her mood. It was getting late but seeing as she had no commitments the following morning she saw no need to be sensible and have an early night. Her next appointment was a lunch time meeting tomorrow with yet another agency who would no doubt fob her off. “It’s their loss” she thought bitterly “sod em” 

“Anyways”, Libby thought to herself, ‘time for another cuppa”

As she wandered back to the kitchen Libby collected her purse and mail from the hallway. She flipped through the envelopes whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. “junk, junk, oooh 20% off at Phase Eight….junk, more junk…Natwest, what do they want now?” Taking a seat at the kitchen table she opened the important looking letter and her heart sank. “damn, bloody interest rates are going up again” Due to her lack of work Libby wasn’t in a position to remortage. “Might have to sell a kidney at this rate…”

She sat quietly for a moment considering her limited options, then she remembered the job advert she’d seen on the way home. She grabbed the newspaper from her bag and found the ad again, staring at it. Libby had never worked for a private individual before, but she was a damn good PA having looked after hundreds of demanding clients over the years. How could this be any different? 

It had to be worth a try but it was getting late, 9pm now. Was it too late to make a call…? No, it wasn’t too late, if she didn’t bite the bullet and do it now she never would. 

Libby dialled the number on the ad and waited, after a few seconds she was surprised to hear a woman’s voice answer

“Hello, Veronica speaking, how may I help you?” 

“Oh erm, good evening. Apologies for the late hour but I’m calling about the advert today in the London Times for a private PA”

“No apology needed, thank you for your interest. Can you please tell me a little about yourself?”

Libby took a deep breath and prepared to sell herself, figuratively speaking

“Of course, my name is Libby Johnson. I have been a PA and executive assistant for the past 25 years, mostly in London for large scale commercial organisations, investment and high street banks etc..I have experience in diary management, travel arrangements, events management, and have also crossed over into marketing and HR occasionally as needed”

“25 years, that’s very impressive. May I ask the reason you’re applying for this role?” 

Here we go again Libby thought with a roll of her eyes, as soon as I mention I was laid off this conversation will be over

“My previous position was unfortunately made redundant 4 months ago along with several hundred others, due to cut-backs following a drop in profits. I have been actively searching for a similar role ever since” 

“Oh I am sorry to hear that, I’ve never been in that position myself but know friends and family who have. I understand how demoralising it can be. Well, I am frankly amazed that you haven’t found a job yet, anyone with your many years of experience should have been snapped up by now”

Libby smiled to herself, this wasn’t going so bad after all

“Thank you, it has been difficult. I wouldn’t say I’m desperate now to work again but I have considered joining the circus” 

There was silence at the other end of the phone before Veronica burst into laughter, “Oh my, well at least you have a healthy sense of humour, I like that. Listen, I’d like to meet you so we discuss your skills and experience further face to face. It’s hard to tell from a short phone conversation but I think you may be just the person I’m looking for, shall we say 3pm tomorrow?”

“…..yes of course, that would be perfect, 3pm. Where would you prefer to meet?”

“Excellent, there’s a wonderful quiet little coffee shop on the Upper Richmond Road in Putney called Amuore, I’ll see you there” 

“No problem at all, thank you Veronica, I’ll see you tomorrow, thank you again. Goodnight”

“Goodnight” 

Libby had her best nights’ sleep that evening in months. She had a good feeling about this one. 

The following afternoon found Libby sat nervously waiting at a corner table at a cute little café in Putney, a part of London she had never even thought of before let alone visited. She’d donned her best suit and heels, straightened her hair and clutched a newly printed copy of her resume. She’d arrived in good time allowing herself the luxury of a taxi, the last thing she wanted was to get lost in a part of town she was unfamiliar with. 

‘Why am I so nervous?” she thought to herself, “this is no different from any other interview” 

She was interrupted by a soft female voice calling her name

“Hello, Libby?”

Veronica wasn’t what she expected. She was a slender, kind looking woman in her late 60’s with grey hair, glasses and a vintage woollen coat. This rather plain looking person in front of her was a retired musician? 

With coffees ordered and introductions made Libby handed over her resume, nervously watching as Veronica scanned through it. She gave nothing away apart from a small smile on her face. “Well I have to say this is all very impressive Libby, you appear to have the experience and skills my husband and I are looking for” 

“Your husband?” 

“Yes, my husband John. He retired over 20 years ago from the music business but still keeps his hand in a few pies so to speak. What with that and the houses to run, and an ever expanding family it’s getting a bit much hence why he needs an assistant” 

So her husband was the retired musician…Libby was intrigued but thought it best not to question it further until she knew this was going somewhere.  
Over the course of the next 90 minutes Veronica probed Libby about her work history from the day she left university right up to the present. She was incredibly thorough, obviously having done her homework and research into interview techniques. By the time the last question had been asked Libby felt mentally exhausted. 

“Well that’s all the questions I had for you Libby, did you have any for me at all?”

“….Yes, erm…you mentioned that this position would be supporting your husband, yet you haven’t said much about him. Excuse me for being so bold but it would help to know who I may potentially be working for, especially seeing as it’s a live-in role” 

Veronica took off her glasses and folded her hands in her lap before looking up at Libby, a serious expression on her face

“This may sound like a strange question, but do you have time right now to go for a little drive?” 

Libby wasn’t sure she liked where this conversation was going 

“Don’t be alarmed please, I simply would prefer to discuss my husband away from a public setting, he’s a quiet man who values his privacy and we have experienced some….issues in the past. I can give you a lift back to the station?”

Libby had no reason to think anything dodgy was going on so she accompanied Veronica to her car, a modest little Mini, which was parked a short walk away, she made a mental note to remember where the little tucked away parking lot was in case she needed it in the future. 

Once they were both safely in the privacy of her vehicle Veronica turned to Libby and explained as much as she dared about her husband. Libby was shocked to learn he was once a famous bassist in one of the biggest rock bands on earth, a band she had of course heard of but wouldn’t really call herself a fan. 

“So I’m sure you can understand my insistence on keeping this private between us, recent events have caused a lot of anxiety and pain for both John and I and our family. It’s been a struggle to get him to agree actually to hire an assistant in the first place because of that, he worries that people would apply for the wrong reasons and we would attract stalkers or worse….” 

Libby felt humbled she was being given this information, Veronica clearly saw her as someone who could be trusted even though they’d only known each other less than two hours. 

“I can reassure you Veronica that nothing you’ve just told me will leave this car, I totally get where you’re coming from. I have never broken a client’s trust and I’m certainly not going to start now”

Veronica looked hesitant for a moment, then suddenly reached into her purse and pulled out a small photograph  
“This is my husband John Deacon. He’s a proud man and a caring father, he can be very private and often doesn’t do well with meeting new people. Once you get to know him however you have a friend for life believe me.”

Libby took the photo and stared at it, it showed a normal looking, not unattractive man in his late 60’s with a pleasant face, thinning white hair and a slight paunch. To be fair if she hadn’t been told who he was she’d never have guessed, and she wouldn’t give him a second glance on the street. 

“I want John to meet you” Veronica suddenly broke the silence, “I honestly believe you would make an excellent PA for him, but of course the decision is ultimately his. Consider it a second interview” 

Libby was quietly thrilled but managed to keep a lid on her emotions, considering the conversation they’d just had. 

“I’d be delighted, thank you so much”

“Excellent, how would Friday afternoon suit you? Say 2pm at the house here in Putney, I’ll write down the address for you, it’s about 20 minutes-walk from the tube though there are buses that run nearby” 

“That’ll be fine, thank you” 

The final arrangements were made and details exchanged before Veronica was as good as her word and drove Libby back to the nearest tube station. She had offered to drive her all the way home to Beckton but Libby didn’t want to take advantage and politely declined, besides the journey home would give her a chance to take everything in. 

For the first time in months, Libby had a genuinely good feeling about this, it looked like things were finally going her way


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok folks, here is chapter three of my modern day Deaky fiction. The main man finally makes his first appearance, and I think it’s been worth waiting for. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it, thanks again must go to the wonderful @painkiller80 from Tumblr for inspiring me and beta reading my efforts. :D

“What do I need a PA for?” 

Veronica sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. She still loved her husband dearly despite recent events but he could be exasperating and stubborn at times. 

“John, we’ve been through this. We discussed this months ago and agreed that after the divorce I would hire an assistant for you” 

“Well I’ve changed my mind, I don’t need one” 

“Look…”

“It’ll be a waste of money”

John Richard Deacon was not a man to mince his words and could be incredibly rude. He had been described many years ago by a close friend as someone who could make you curl up and die with two sentences. Veronica knew how to handle him though, after 45 years of marriage, 6 children and 4 grandchildren she had the patience of a saint and could deal with tantrums from big kids of all ages. 

That being said, their marriage had weathered many storms over the years but sadly the cracks had recently started to show again, and this time no amount of papering over could repair it. The Deacons still held a great deal of love, affection and respect for each other but had to admit they could no longer live as Man and Wife with the constant bickering. Veronica had been the one to make the first painful move and gently suggested that they separate. John had taken it badly at first but he too had to admit eventually it was for the best. 

“All I ask of you is that you give this woman a chance” Veronica stated calmly as she handed her husband a mug of his favourite tea. “I met with her this afternoon and she’s exactly what we’re looking for” 

“What YOU’RE looking for” John pointed a finger accusingly, “I’m sick of this Ron, you can’t keep trying to run my life for me just because you feel guilty” 

“This has nothing to do with guilt and you know it” Veronica was determined to make John see some sense. “This is about you being too proud to admit you need help”. She took a seat opposite her husband and held his gaze. “Once the divorce is finalised I won’t be living here anymore, and as you’re not going to sell up you’re going to need someone to help you run the house” 

“Christ Ron!” John snapped, “you’re making me sound incapable, and why the hell should I sell the house? This is my home!.....and what about the kids?!”

John was itching for a fight it seemed but Veronica wasn’t going to rise to the bait, “It was just a suggestion” she said, keeping her voice low and calm, “and the children will be fine, they understand what’s happening between us, and whilst they may not be thrilled about seeing their parents split up they also agree it’s for the best” 

John remained silent and stared gloomily into his mug, his knuckles turning white from gripping the handle so hard. He had an infuriating habit of clamming up and sulking when things weren’t going his way

“Anyway” Veronica announced with an air of authority, “As I was saying, Libby, the PA I have found, has all the skills and qualifications on paper to be the perfect assistant for you, her references check out fine and her previous manager spoke very highly of her. I really do think you’re going to like her” 

John still wasn’t convinced, “suppose she turns out to be a nutter, a crazed fan or stalker?” he muttered. 

Veronica chose to ignore the last comment, instead giving her husband a withering look 

“I’ve invited her to meet with both of us here on Friday afternoon, so make sure your office is tidy, we don’t want to give the poor woman the impression you live like a slob” 

“……You did what?! You’ve invited a stranger to my home without asking me first?!” 

“Yes. I have John, she’s a mature professional with years of experience and understands the need for discretion. She’s already signed the non-disclosure and confidentiality agreements we had drawn up so there’s no need to worry” 

“Of course I bloody worry Ron, it’s taken us years to create a safe and secure home for our family and now YOU want to ruin it!” 

“John, please…….”

“No! I’m not having this, I’ve never wanted any of this!” 

With that final outburst John stormed from the room slamming the door behind him. All Veronica could do in response was let out a heavy sigh, and give her husband some space whilst his anger died down. 

“Well that went well…” she thought to herself with a hint of irony, “I really hope we don’t have fireworks on Friday….”

\-------------------

Libby had never known a week in her life to go so quickly, before she knew it Friday morning had arrived and she woke early before her alarm with a sense of excitement bubbling away in her stomach. There was no guarantee of course she would get the job today, but she had an extremely positive vibe about it. 

Libby spent the morning going over her resume again and again, coffee in hand. She was confident in talking through her background and career in detail, having attended what felt like hundreds of interviews over the years, but didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Her confidence had been knocked recently from constant knock backs but the meeting with Veronica earlier in the week had gone a long way to restoring her faith in herself. 

Dressed in her best suit and heels, hair freshly cut and coloured and sporting her trusty vintage handbag Libby was ready to go, “come on girl, let’s do this, you’re gonna knock em dead” She left for the station early, giving herself a good 3 hours as she planned a slow walk up to the Deacons house from the high street so she could take in as much as Putney as possible. She was still unfamiliar with the area despite having a “dry-run” the day before. 

3 hours later Libby checked her watch for the umpteenth time, 1.55pm. She stood looking up at the Deacon home with a feeling of absolute dread, the house was beautiful and big...bloody big. Part of the role she was going for was to help look after and maintain this beautiful property, she only hoped she could do it justice. 

“Ok” Libby breathed out a big sigh whilst pushing the doorbell, “it’s now or never” 

*Ding, dong*

Libby smiled to herself at the old fashioned door bell chime, there was something oddly comforting about it. She stood waiting anxiously then almost stumbled as the security gates suddenly swung open and Veronica appeared at the front door ushering her in.

“Libby, dear it’s good to see you again, do come in” 

“Thank you Veronica, I really appreciate your time today” 

As she entered the house Libby had to fight hard to contain herself, the place was just as gorgeous as she imagined. The hallway was so big she could easily fit her living room in it, there were beautiful stained glass windows above the front door, family photos and portraits adorned the walls leading up from the grand hand-made wooden staircase. Christmas decorations hung from the ceiling, and a tastefully decorated tree stood proudly in one corner. She could only wonder at how impressive the rest of the property might be. 

The meeting between herself, Veronica and John was to be held in John’s office located on the first floor of the house, it was explained to her it used to be a bedroom but was converted when their eldest two children had moved out several years earlier. John was waiting there for them, sat behind his desk with a barely hidden scowl on his face. His anger from earlier in the week still lingering like a bad smell. 

To Veronica’s relief the fireworks that she had feared failed to materialise, however her husband seemed determined to throw a spanner in the works and be as rude and sarcastic as possible 

“John, this is Libby. Libby, this is John my husband” 

It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Deacon” Libby smiled politely whilst extending her hand   
John however was having none of it, refusing to stand whilst leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed “I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you too but I’d be lying” 

Veronica honestly could throttle the man sometimes…”Right...,well have a seat Libby dear and I’ll get the kettle on” 

Libby swallowed nervously, what on earth was going on here? She needed to get this conversation back on track.

“As I said Mr. Deacon it’s a pleasure to meet you, may I just start by thanking you for your time this afternoon”

“So what are you then, some kind of stalker?” 

Veronica was appalled “John, really?!” 

Libby on the other hand had to force herself not to laugh, it was painfully obvious that John was doing his best to scare her off, but she could give as good as she got. “Oh heavens no Mr. Deacon, my days of fan-girling over aging rock stars are way behind me, besides you’re not really my type” 

Veronica snorted and almost spat her tea out, coughing harshly whilst John simply sat there, open mouthed, with a stunned look on his face, he certainly hadn’t been expecting such a response. He was going to have to pull something special out of the bag if he was going to get rid of her. 

“Come on admit it, you’re only sat here now because you’re a fan and you were curious, well you’ve had your fill so now you can leave”

“I wouldn’t consider myself a fan Mr. Deacon, especially after that god awful Stutter Rap. Blue isn’t really your colour” 

Veronica stood proudly watching the interaction before her, she had no doubt that she had made the right choice in bringing Libby here. Her husband had clearly met his match. She sipped her tea quietly waiting to see what would happen next. 

“A bit full of yourself aren’t you?” 

“It’s called confidence Mr. Deacon, and a clear faith in my ability to handle any situation. I am good at what I do, I believe my resume and references make that very clear” 

“You can’t be that good if you were laid off” 

So John had read her CV after all? Interesting….

“The position was made redundant, not me personally. It would have happened to anyone who had held that role at the time”   
“Well how come you’ve not found a job yet then? I’ll tell you why, you’ve been lazy” John pointed a finger at Libby accusingly, he was determined to get a reaction out of her. 

“Actually Mr. Deacon research has proven that jumping straight into a job search after redundancy can be counterproductive. Wouldn’t you agree that taking the time to reflect, to consider your options, and to work on improving your skills is far better in the long term than to jump straight into a position that may not be suitable?”

“......I…..suppose so, yes”

The wind had been taken out of Johns sails but he certainly wasn’t going to go down without a fight 

“What makes you think you could work for me? You have no knowledge of the music business, or of running a household of this size have you?” 

Libby went in for the kill 

“My 25 years experience don’t extend to those specific areas no, but someone like myself who can oversee the offices of a multinational bank whilst handling all PA duties for 5 Senior Directors and their direct reports, as well as running numerous overseas marketing events would be able to transfer their skills without a problem. Don’t you think?” 

John was stumped, he was trying all the tricks he had up his sleeve to derail the conversation to no avail. He had to admit this woman was good…he made one final push 

“Give me one good reason why I should hire you? I mean, you spout off all this rubbish about being superwoman, Miss I can do anything, but in reality you’ll be bored. Where’s the challenge in coming here from what you’ve done before?” 

“Mr Deacon, after a quarter of a century working in the City I am more than ready for a change of pace. I’m 45 now after all not 19. You’re more likely to find me curled up in my fluffy slippers watching Homes Under The Hammer than partying every night. I’m calm under pressure and can adapt to any situation which I believe I have demonstrated here today”

“........yes...well, I think I’ve heard enough” 

“Well, let’s wrap things up here shall we?” Veronica quickly interrupted, I think John and I have enough to go on. Libby dear we will have a chat and give you a call once we’ve made our decision” 

Libby was relieved but didn’t let it show on her face. This had to have been the strangest and shortest interview she’d ever had, and she honestly had no idea what the outcome would be 

“Of course, thank you both again so much for your time today” She thanked them both politely before being escorted to the door by Veronica, who gave her an unexpected gentle hug before she left. As she walked slowly back to the bus stop, she shook her head and wondered “what on Earth am I letting myself in for?”

Back at the house Veronica slowly closed the door waving Libby off before heading back to John's office where she found him still sat at his desk, fingers clasped under his chin

“So...what did you think?”

“She was alright I guess”

“Oh come on John, you liked her admit it. You tried everything you could to put her off and it didn’t work, she had you sussed out within seconds” 

“...fine” he admitted “she’s good. She knows her stuff and certainly put me in my place. I’m nervous though Ron” 

Veronica studied her husband with pity in her eyes, she totally understood his hesitation, but knew as well that they couldn’t drag this out any further. 

“I know, I understand but this time will be different, I know it. Look...I think she’s perfect, and if we don’t snap her up soon someone else will. She’ll do wonders for you”

John couldn’t deny it any longer

“Ok, ok...call her, call and offer her the damn job before I change my mind” 

“Thank you John, you won’t regret this”


	4. Chapter 4

“Man what a day!” 

Just over an hour after what had to have been the most bizarre interview of her life Libby arrived home, grateful that she had managed to keep her cool and even more grateful for the bottle of her favourite wine she had stashed in the fridge. Oh how she could do with a drink right now.

Before she had a chance to get her coat off though Libby heard the phone suddenly ring, making her jump. She eyed it suspiciously, it couldn’t be the Deacons already, surely? 

It could…

“Hello Libby?, it’s Veronica” 

“Oh Hello, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again so soon” Libby felt her heart sink

“I’m so glad I caught you. John and I have had a talk this afternoon after you left, and whilst it may not have been the most conventional of meetings, we were both very impressed with you, and as a result would like to offer you the job!” 

“........oh my....wow, thank you so much!”

Libby was stunned, she honestly thought due to John’s sarcastic attitude and rudeness that she would be the last person he’d want to hire 

“Can I assume you’re happy to accept?”

“Absolutely, yes thank you” 

“I’m so pleased, it’ll be a pleasure to have you on board. Now, I don’t believe we discussed a salary, however I’ve had a chat with John and his accountant and they have agreed that a starting figure of £60,000 seems fair, how does that sound? 

Libby almost dropped the phone ...£60,000? She’d never come close to earning that kind of money, even at her most prestigious role in the City. The position was live-in too, so she’d have few outgoings to worry about. Christ...

“That’s more than reasonable thank you very much”

“Wonderful! Now I understand you don’t need to give notice however seeing as it’s Christmas in a couple of weeks John has requested that your start date be January 13th, and we could get you moved in and settled the week before. Does that work for you?” 

“That suits me just fine Veronica thank you, I do have plans over the Christmas and New Year with my family down in Cornwall, that will also give me time to sort out my flat”

“Great! Well to get the ball rolling can you pop round tomorrow morning? You’ll need to sign your contract and of course have a tour of the house and your living quarters, shall we say 11am?” 

“No problem at all, I’ll see you and Mr Deacon in the morning, goodbye and thank you again so much Veronica” 

“You’re very welcome Libby. Have a good evening dear, goodbye” 

Sod the wine Libby thought gleefully to herself as she hung up the phone and reached for her purse, this calls for champagne! 

The following morning Libby once again stood outside the entrance to the Deacon home, but this time with a sense of excitement rather than dread. This was to be her new workplace and home in a matter of weeks. Her excitement went up in smoke however when it became clear the second she walked through the door that John was just as grumpy as he had been the previous day. 

“Good morning again Mr. Deacon, I hope you’re well. May I say how thrilled I am to be working for you”

“I’m sure you are, now let’s get on with it as I don’t have all day” 

Libby quickly pulled back the hand she had extended in greeting, a smile frozen on her face. She guessed that right now was not the best time to crack a joke

Veronica gave her an apologetic smile, before quietly chastising her husband “John, honestly!”

“Gods sake woman will you quit nagging, don’t you have anything better to do?”

“John….”, Veronica warned in her best Mum voice, “there’s no need to show off, you did enough of that yesterday…”

This was not a good start. Libby had assumed the show of bravado yesterday was simply Johns way of sussing her out, but it was now painfully obvious he didn’t want her there. At all. This was going to be hard going.

“Mr Deacon” Libby bravely interrupted, “I understand you’re a very busy man, so how about we go to your office and get the paperwork sorted, then I can be out of your way?”

“....fine, come on let’s get this over with” 

They had barely got through the door to the upstairs office before John shoved a pile of papers and a pen across the desk

“Right here’s your contract, sign it. Your terms and conditions and daily duties are there as well”

Libby was not impressed

“I’d like to read through all this before I sign anything Mr Deacon” 

“What on earth for?” John huffed, “everything is above board and has been cleared by my legal advisor” 

“Mr Deacon, not once in my life have I signed a contract of employment before reading it first, I have to protect myself…I assume you did the same many times during your career?” 

Libby could have sworn at that moment she saw the flash of a smile ghost over John’s face before he scowled, crossing his arms. 

“Fine, just don’t take all day over it. I’ll be downstairs. Oh and another thing, enough of the Mr Deacon nonsense, this isn’t a school. you will address me as John”

Libby was starting to get annoyed…”keep calm Libs” she thought to herself, “speak up but keep calm and professional” 

“Mr Deac....John, can I please make one thing clear? I will not be spoken to like that any longer. I’m here to work for you, not be bullied. I will take some time to read through what you have kindly given me then will let you know if I have any questions” 

John stared at Libby long and hard, then all but ran from the office without saying another word. He had been called out and didn’t like it, one little bit. 

John was met downstairs by a startled Veronica

“I thought you were going through the paperwork with Libby?” 

“She just told me off! Said I was bullying her, what a load of rubbish…”

Veronica wasn’t surprised, her husband had a real knack for rubbing people up the wrong way sometimes

“Oh dear….well whose fault is that? 

“She can’t talk to me like that Ron!” 

“Why not? You’ve said far worse to her. The poor girl has only been here five minutes and you’ve been awfully rude to her. I’m amazed she’s agreed to take the job still to be honest” 

“Oh so you’re ganging up on me as well?” John pointed angrily, “the sooner you move out the better”

Veronica burst out laughing which only seemed to anger her former husband further. “Oh John, come on. Lashing out isn’t going to make any of this go away. I get that you’re scared but this isn’t helping,….is it?”  
John stood rooted to the spot, breathing heavily with his hands on his hips, he looked on the verge of tears

“I…I just wish things could be how they were before” he whispered, “before all the fighting”

Veronica felt a pang of sympathy for her soon to be ex, he had been through some real tough times of late

“I know, I wish we could go back to simpler and happier times too. It will get better though I promise. Things will be strange for a while but it will settle and be a lot calmer for everyone” 

They stood quietly, in a slightly awkward silence for what felt like hours until Libby suddenly appeared on the stairs, descending slowly having sensed that something wasn’t quite right, hopefully she hadn’t heard too much. 

“Erm...not interrupting anything I hope? I’ve gone through the Contract John and it all looks fine. I’ve signed where you indicated and don’t have any questions right now, looks like you’ve covered everything. I’ll give you a call though if I think of anything later on. I assume one of these is for me to keep?”

John looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights, simply staring at the two women in front of him, it took a moment for him to find his voice. “Thank you, Libby I’ll er...get these filed away, and yes keep the other copy for your records. If that’s all I’ll leave you ladies to it” 

Veronica sadly watched her husband walk away before gently guiding Libby back down the hallway towards the back of the house, it would be a good time she figured to give Libby the guided tour now that John had seemed to have calmed down a little.

“Well, how about I show you around now that’s sorted? 

This was something Libby had been secretly looking forward to, and she was not disappointed. 

The house was set over 4 floors including a vast basement and attic space. The basement was home to Johns studio and private study, it was the only room in the house that bore any evidence of the former bassists occupation and time with Queen. Libby was allowed just a quick peek through the door, followed by a whispered polite warning from Veronica that it was off limits. 

The ground floor comprised of the living room, kitchen and utility room, two reception rooms, dining room, playroom for visiting grandchildren, double garage, conservatory and an impressive indoor heated pool which overlooked the beautiful landscaped gardens. 

The 1st floor housed 5 double bedrooms, the office and 3 bathrooms. Finally, and most importantly for Libby came the top floor apartment, her soon to be new home. For some reason Veronica was almost apologetic about it 

“So this is the apartment, I’m sorry it isn’t much. Once you’re settled in though with your own belongings I’m sure it will feel like home”

The flat was beautiful, it was bright and airy and took up a good two thirds of the top floor of the house having been built into the attic with original sash windows offering a birds-eye view of the nearby park. It had high ceilings, real wood floors, a large double bedroom with built-in wardrobes, ensuite shower room and an open plan living and kitchen area with an original fireplace at one end. Libby hadn’t exactly expected a tiny studio or bedsit but this...this was something else. 

As she slowly walked around taking it all in Libby could easily picture herself living there. “It’s beautiful Veronica, I think I’m going to be quite happy up here” 

“I’m so pleased” Veronica smiled warmly back “you’re welcome to use all the furniture here or to bring in whatever you want to of your own, we can easily store anything you don’t want or need” 

Libby gazed around throughtfully, “I’ll make use of everything here, and bring some smaller items and soft furnishings from home I think, because it’s pretty much perfect as it is” 

“Excellent, well we can help with getting you moved in if you like?” Veronica offered, “I know of a good local removals firm. We used them when all the children moved out, and I’ll be using them too when I move out myself” 

Libby wondered if she’d just heard correctly

“You’re moving out?” 

“Yes, just after Christmas, the divorce will be finalised by then” 

Libby blinked in surprise, that would explain why John had been in such an awful mood 

Veronica sighed deeply, “I’m sorry for springing this on you, but I didn’t want to bring it up until I knew for certain you would be staying. I’m telling you this because I trust you Libby, and because I know you won’t take this any further”

“No of course not”

“Our marriage has been in trouble for a while, and we decided a few months ago it was best that we separate. I won’t bore you with the details but I can say it’s been incredibly hard on both John and I and our families. We can no longer live under the same roof sadly, hence why I’ll be leaving. Though I won’t be far, I’ve bought a cottage a couple of miles away” 

“Veronica I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?”

“John and I may no longer be married but I still care about him. All I ask is that you do your job, look after this place to the best of your ability and keep a discreet eye on him, he’s a stubborn sod at times and will never admit he needs help”

“I will, you have my word”

“I’m also sorry he’s been so rude to you, he’s not happy with me at all at the moment and he’s taking it out on you as it’s easier. I promise that it will get better though once he gets to know and trust you” 

Libby laughed nervously, “Yes I had noticed that…I’ve dealt with difficult clients before, this won’t be any different. I must ask though, is John really ok with me being here?”

“.....Yes” Veronica replied slowly, “he is, however; as I said during our first meeting, John doesn’t enjoy meeting new people. He can be a hard nut to crack, and as you’ve experienced unfortunately until then he can come across as rather abrupt”

“You’re not wrong there” Libby thought ruefully to herself 

“I understand. I realise it’s going to take time to earn John’s trust and respect, and I’m willing to work on that for as long as it takes as I do believe he’s worth it. Though I won’t be taking any nonsense from him” 

“We’ve definitely chosen the right person for the job, I can see that already” Veronica stated proudly

Libby could only hope that she could prove her right 

Libby reflected on her conversation with Veronica many times over the Christmas period that followed whilst visiting her family in Cornwall. Christmas Day itself was spent in a cozy beachside pub, with a wood fire blazing and real ale on tap. Accompanied by her Mother and younger sister she did her best to relax but couldn’t completely get the Deacons and their situation out her head. 

“Penny for your thoughts love?” Libby’s Mother Sally could always tell when something was on her mind 

“Oh nothing Mum honestly, I was just thinking”

“Just thinking? you were miles away!”

“I’m fine, honestly. I’m just a little nervous about my new job” 

“What have you got to be nervous about love?, Ellie dear tell your Sister she’s being silly” 

Libby’s younger sister wasn’t impressed, she was 15 years younger, worked as a photographer and had always been perplexed by her older siblings “dull and boring” profession

“Get over yourself Lib” She laughed handing her sister a glass of wine, “you’re not the first person to worry about being the new girl at school again and won’t be the last. Now get that down you”   
“You’ll be fine dear” Her Mother agreed, “who are you working for again?” 

“Erm, a retired musician” 

“We know that dear, but who?” 

“I can’t say. I’ve had to sign paperwork promising I won’t disclose anything about them or their family, or I could be taken to court” 

“Sounds a bit fishy to me” Ellie was suspicious, waving her glass around to emphasise her point, “Even the Royal Family don’t go that far, I mean how dramatic” 

“Well this person I’ll be working for is very private and wants to stay out of the public eye, I have to respect that”

“We understand dear” her Mother replied, “As long as you know what you’re getting into, that’s all” 

Libby forced a smile on her face, not wanting to encourage the conversation any further. She felt a huge weight of responsibility on her shoulders, not just for running the house but also for looking out for John and his well being. He was a grown man though and would be her boss, so there was a thin line that Libby knew she could never cross no matter how concerned she might be. She had to stay professional no matter what.

Meanwhile back in Putney, John was having issues of his own trying to put his impending divorce to the back of his mind. Christmas Day for the Deacons was a riotous affair as ever, the usually quiet house had come alive with the arrival of John and Veronicas 6 children, their respective partners and their 4 grandchildren. They adored having their family around them and for a few short hours put all their joint effort into making the day as magical and memorable as possible. 

Once suitably fed and watered the adults decamped to the lounge for coffee and the Queens speech whilst the youngest family members eagerly sprinted to the playroom to enjoy their mountain of presents With the children out of the way Johns eldest son took the chance to speak quietly with his Father in private, asking him to accompany him to the study 

“So Dad, how are you doing?”

John forced a tired smile on his face “I’m good Robert, having a lovely time”

“......how are you really?, and don’t give me that look”

John may be a man of few words at times but his face said it all

“You know me too well Son...it’s been fantastic as ever having the house full again, seeing everyone enjoy themselves but...it’s made me realise how much I’m going to miss having your Mother around...it’s going to be quiet without her” 

“Yeah...about that” Robert replied slowly, “are you sure this is what you really want? I mean, you and Mum have had your problems before but always got through them, what’s different now?”

“To be honest Rob we simply can’t live together anymore. We resisted during the bad times whilst you guys were little as we couldn’t bring ourselves to split up the family, financially it would have ruined me too. We don’t have those pressures now but we can’t keep on the way we are, always fighting, it’s not fair on us or anyone else”

Rob wasn’t totally convinced but knew his Father well enough not to press too hard, “I just worry about you Dad, we all do…...what’s this I hear about you hiring an assistant?” 

“Oh that was your Mother’s idea. Hiring a PA to run the house and grounds, supposed to free up my time to concentrate on the company finances now that things are more active again. She starts middle of January” 

“She?”

“Yes.... she’s been thoroughly vetted I’ve been told. Name’s Libby, she’ll be taking the upstairs apartment”

Rob suddenly thinks back to the time several years ago when John had an apparent mid-life crisis and befriended a much younger woman…it had not ended well.

“She’s going to live with you?!” Rob exclaimed in horror, “Does Mum know this?”

“Yes she does, it was actually her idea. Don’t forget that after Christmas your Mother will be moving out so it won’t be awkward. Everything will be fine…..”

“Dad are you honestly ok with this? this is all a but sudden!” 

“.....Yes, it’s been planned for months,it’ll be fine....really, come on let’s get back and join the others before they send out a search party” 

Rob smiled and nodded but couldn’t help worrying, many unsavoury characters had attempted to take advantage of his Father over the years, drawn to him by his fame and wealth. He would have to keep a close eye on this Libby somehow, whatever it took...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 5 folks, thank you so much for your comments so far, it's made realise how much it is worth continuing with this. 
> 
> Please, if you enjoy my work leave a comment - they help keep me motivated :D

“So that’s it then, after all these years…”

John sat gloomily in his study, staring at the piece of paper in front of him. The Decree Absolute that with just a few words officially declared that his marriage of 45 years was now over. He’d known it was coming, but having it here in black and white suddenly made it very real. 

Johns daughter Laura raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Dad be honest, your marriage to Mum went down the pan years ago. It’s only recently that you’ve both had the guts to admit it, and about bloody time too” The only female of the Deacon siblings had a way with words to rival her Fathers.

“Thank you for your support as ever” the sarcasm was positively dripping from Johns voice, “How long were you planning on staying for again?” 

“Oh just for a couple of days, I’m gonna help Mum get the rest of her things out and then I thought we could try that new Italian place on the High Street tonight, it’s had some amazing reviews” 

“Right….” John replied sadly, “well I hope you have a lovely time” 

“Dad, I meant you and me. Come on when’s the last time we had dinner together?” 

John had to think long and hard, the past year having flown by so quickly 

“....We all went out on your 40th, that was only a few months ago”

Laura rolled her eyes as she honestly wondered whether her Father’s brain had gone south as well as his marriage

“Yes Dad I know that, and it was lovely. I meant you and me, just the two of us?” 

“......erm”

“Exactly! So I’m taking you out tonight, 7pm on the dot, no excuses. It’s my treat yeah?” 

How could John say not to that? 

“Ok, ok you win, 7pm it is. I’ll book a taxi…”

“No need Dad, I called for one earlier ...now don’t be late”

John shook his head in bemused disbelief as Laura sauntered from the room, a smirk plastered on her face. That girl was so much like her Mother. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cheers Dad!”

“Cheers my love” 

That evening John and Laura clinked glasses in a cozy Italian bistro, toasting a complex Father/Daughter relationship that had seen it’s fair share of ups and downs over the years. Her Mother tried to keep things normal whilst she was growing up, however; it had still been an extraordinary time, knowing that one of her parents was famous and adored by millions across the world. 

There had been tears, tantrums and arguments fuelled by the fact that Laura was the only girl in the family, and a teenage rebel when her two youngest brothers were born. Throughout all this though Laura remained close to her Father, his nickname for her being his little princess. He doted on her and to this day the love and respect between them was immeasurable.

“So here’s to you Dad, and here’s to us!” 

“I’ll certainly drink to that” John laughed 

“....and here’s to the future”

“Laura…”

“Here’s to the fact that you and Mum have finally got your acts together, here’s to the divorce and here’s to a drama free future...for all of us...”

“LAURA!” 

“What? Dad, this is a good thing. That you are finally putting all the shit behind you and moving on, you should be celebrating” 

“It’s not quite as straightforward as that love” 

“Why not?” Laura could be as blunt as a rusty nail, and had the tact to match. “You’ve both dragged this out for years, now you’ve managed to get your head out of your backside you can relax and start living again” 

John loved his Daughter dearly but was in no mood this evening to be criticised for his failed love life

“I thought we were going to have a nice dinner together, a chance to properly catch up?” 

“We are…”

“Then can we not bring up the divorce again please, I’d like to go just one evening without having to think about it”

“It’s a bit late for that. Look I’m not having a go, I get why it’s happened and I’m pleased for you. If divorce is what it takes to stop all the crap with Mum and to finally have you be civil to each other, then so be it” 

“Hey, whose side are you on?” John pointed his fork accusingly 

“I’m on MY side Dad, the side that loves both my parents equally and knows they are both grown ups who are capable of dealing with the mess they’ve created without causing a fuss” 

John sighed deeply, staring into his now empty glass. He envied his Daughters optimism and blaise attitude to this and pretty much every other situation she found herself in. It was a trait she certainly hadn’t inherited from him

“....how are things at work, still enjoying it?” John made an attempt at steering the conversation away from himself, sadly to no avail 

“Oh no, no changing the subject Dad! You’re not getting out of it that easily” 

“I don’t want to talk about it” John grumbled, pushing his spaghetti around his plate 

Laura would not be deterred, she knew that if she could get her Dad to open up about his feelings around the divorce then it could kick start the healing process, and help him to start moving on with his life. It wasn’t going to be easy though, there was only so far the man could be pushed.

“Look, I get it, you’re scared and that is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a huge thing that you and Mum are going through, but you’re not alone in this I promise”

Laura gave John an encouraging smile, before ordering another bottle of Prosecco. She knew her Dad well enough to know that after a few drinks he was more likely to say what was really on his mind.

John raised an eyebrow, “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Whatever gives you that idea!?”

“You’re a good girl Laura” John sighed, taking her hand, “you’ve been amazing throughout all this...you really have...I just...how am I supposed to celebrate when I feel so uncertain, when it feels like everything I knew has gone...? Your Mother’s a remarkable woman...I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do by myself”

“Dad, Mum hasn’t died! You’re making it sound like you’re never going to see her again. Just because your marriage is over doesn’t mean that you can’t still be friends. You still love each other that’s pretty obvious, you just need to not be under each others feet so you don’t kill each other” 

They both giggled at that, Laura was right as usual. The passion had long gone from John and Veronica’s relationship but there would always be a deep respect and friendship there whatever the future held. 

“You should be proud of yourself Dad, you’ve achieved so much and hey look, despite everything you and Mum have been through you’ve both raised 6 beautiful and well adjusted children...well I’m normal, I can’t speak for the boys” 

John almost spat his drink out “Don’t let Cam hear you say that, you’ll never hear the end of it!” 

Laura was pleased to see her Father looking a little less tense “You’ll be ok Dad, I know you will. It’s bloody horrible right now but once the dust has settled and you get into a routine again you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about, trust me” 

“I’m sorry love, I know I’m not great company right now but I just can’t help feeling that...well, feeling that my life is over” 

Laura froze, before her fork slipped from her hand loudly clattering on her plate. She stared at her Dad with a horrified expression. “You what?! How can you say that?”

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that….”

“You’re right you shouldn’t have, and stop saying sorry! Look, this is not the end of your life Dad, Christ far from it. You have years ahead of you to do whatever you want. You can travel the world, do up the house again, take up a new hobby, you never know you might even meet someone…”

John cringed at the mention of meeting someone, it was well known within the family that he hadn’t always been brilliant husband material and he didn’t need reminding of it right now. Laura studied her father silently for a moment, the expression on his face gave away his obvious discomfort. She guessed it was a good time to bring the evening to a close. 

She paid the bill despite John’s protests, leaving a generous tip and then discreetly nipped outside to call for a taxi. When she returned a few minutes later she found him chatting to the Bistro manager, thanking them for a wonderful meal and wishing them and the Bistro all the best for the coming months. 

“Hey Dad, it’s gonna be over an hour for a taxi, busy night for some reason. Do you fancy walking back?” 

“Go on then, the exercise will do us good” 

Laura hadn’t quite succeeded in getting her Dad to completely bare his soul this evening but it had been a good start.

As they made their way home Laura pondered over their earlier conversation, thinking back to what her Dad had said about him feeling that his life was over. It had both shocked and saddened her but it was understandable at the same time. John was a creature of habit and hated anything that upset his routine so having his wife of over four decades pack up and move out was dreadful. She figured now was a good time to try and lighten the mood a little 

“So what did you think of dinner then Dad? Nice little place that isn’t it?” 

“Yes love, I enjoyed it...and thank you”

“It’s my pleasure, we should do this more often, just the two of us” 

“….Hmmm, yeah we should” 

The pair lapsed into a slightly awkward silence as they neared the end of their road. Walking at a steady pace to beat the late December chill in the air. Laura sighed deeply before deciding to address the huge elephant into the proverbial room.

“Dad, I’m sorry”

John stopped walking suddenly, turning to face his daughter, a confused look on his face “Sorry for what love?”

“For pushing you, for making you talk about the divorce again tonight when you didn’t want to, for taking you out tonight under false pretences, for being a pain the arse as usual…”

“Laura, sweetheart...it should be me apologising not you. You were right, every word you said tonight was right”

“....Dad”

“No listen, please love. The divorce has been horrendous I’m not going to lie, when I agreed to it I had no idea I would feel the way I do now, I thought it would be simple and that I’d be happier when it was done, but I’m not. Your Mother’s been gone for less than one day and I miss her already, but I know having her back isn’t the answer…”

“Dad you will get through this, I can’t do much to help but...”

“You are helping princess, by being here. I’m all over the place right now, but just having you around and your brothers too is a real comfort honestly”

“Are you feeling better?”

“No if I’m honest, but I will eventually. Deep down I know it can’t feel this awful forever”

“That’s the spirit Dad. Come on, let’s get home” Laura smiled, “I fancy a coffee”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are chapter 6, I really hope you guys are still enjoying this as there is plenty of angst to come. As ever comments are very welcome. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Christ how I can have so much stuff?!”

Libby stood surveying the chaos before her. It was early January and only a week before she was due to start her new job, however today she was more concerned with the incredible amount of possessions she’d managed to accumulate during her 10 years in her little flat. Where had this all come from?! 

She had forgotten how annoying it could be to move home, and as she lugged boxes up and down the stairs to the awaiting removals van outside, Libby cursed herself for all the trips to the sales she’d made last year. Never again she vowed, for the umpteenth time. Nope, this time was seriously it...maybe. 

Libby sighed as she sipped at her tea, the last cuppa she may ever have in her little much loved kitchen. She looked around at the now rather bare and sad looking space thinking back fondly to the day she had moved in. It had been just as chaotic then with her Mother and close friends pitching in to help. Today however Libby stood alone, she’d decided against having an army of helpers, giving the excuse that her new home was fully furnished so she only needed to take her clothes, bedding and a few home comforts. The real reason of course was her desire to protect the Deacons privacy and to prevent her well intentioned friends and family from nosing around the house and potentially putting her new job at risk. 

“Right, this is it then” Libby thought to herself with a sense of both sadness and anticipation, as she packed up the last of her stuff and headed for the door. There was no going back now...well, that wasn’t strictly true. Libby had high hopes for the coming months and beyond, but was under no illusion that her new life could go belly up at any time, she therefore had arranged for her flat to be rented out. She didn’t need the income but did need the security of being able to move back in quickly if things went sour. 

Two and a half hours later, thanks to the awful Saturday afternoon traffic the removals van finally arrived in West Putney. As they parked up Libby breathed deeply trying hard to keep her growing anxiety under control, it was stressful enough moving house but having your home under the same roof as your new boss was enough to send anyone over the edge. 

Any hopes Libby had of a quiet, uneventful move in were dashed the moment she approached the house. The front door was open and she could see John having a rather animated conversation with a younger man she didn’t recognise. Libby stood rather awkwardly wondering whether she should ring the bell or give the two men a few more minutes. Just as she was about to walk away though back to the van the gate swung open and a familiar female voice called out to her. 

“Libby dear, you made it, we were about to send out a search party!” 

What on Earth was Veronica doing here, hadn’t she moved out? Oh well, at least there was one person here who was pleased to see her “It’s lovely to see you again Veronica, I wasn’t expecting to see you today?” 

“Neither was I…” John glared at his ex-wife, “Just couldn’t keep away could you, had to stick your nose in” 

Veronica either missed the venom in her ex-husband’s voice or chose to ignore it, “I was just in the area and thought I’d drop by to check I hadn’t forgotten anything, then I remembered Libby was moving in today, how exciting!”

“....Yes, I’m thrilled” John deadpanned before looking past her to the street outside, “you didn’t bring your friends to help then? you do surprise me” 

“There was no need” Libby replied lightly, “I can manage by myself”

Veronica swatted John on the shoulder before turning to the younger man quietly standing behind them who had yet to join the conversation. 

“Libby dear, let me introduce you to our eldest Son. Libby, this is Robert, Robbie love, this is Libby your Father’s new PA”

Robert eyed Libby suspiciously, looking her up and down before extending his hand in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too” Libby winced at the death like grip on her hand

“So you’re the one who’s going to be working for my Dad?”

“Yes that’s right, I’m very much looking forward to it” 

“....and living in this house, under this roof, in my childhood home?” Libby wasn’t sure she liked the accusatory tone of Robert’s questioning. How she longed to get upstairs to the safety and privacy of her apartment. 

“John, why don’t you give Libby a hand in bringing her things in” Veronica interrupted, sensing the younger woman’s discomfort, “can’t leave the poor removal man sat out there all day” 

“No thank you, I have better things to be getting on with” 

Veronica was not impressed as John abruptly disappeared...again. He always fled the scene when faced with a situation he found stressful.

“It’s fine, I only have a few boxes to bring in” Libby shot Veronica a smile before quickly heading back outside, one grumpy Deacon was just about manageable, two on the other hand....

Veronica took the opportunity to take her Son aside and have a quiet word with him

“Robbie please be nice to Libby and don’t interfere. She’s here to do a job and nothing else” 

“I’m not interfering Mum, I just don’t trust her” 

“You’ve literally just met her!”

“How can you be sure she won’t be like all the others, have you forgotten what happened last time?”

“Robert John Deacon, you will show Libby the respect she deserves. She’s a mature, experienced professional and is here to support your Father, nothing else” 

“This is insane, I can’t believe you’re making Dad do this, he clearly doesn’t want her here” 

Veronica sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her eldest child could be incredibly headstrong. “Your Father agreed to this, he’s just a bit stressed right now, please don’t make things any worse”

“I fail to see how I’m making things worse, what have I done?”

“Oh so you just happened to drive all the way here from Edinburgh this weekend, a coincidence was it?” 

Robert had the good grace to look embarrassed at that observation. He hadn’t expected his Mother to be around and blow his cover. 

“....ok, ok you caught me. I’m worried about all this, about Dad. He’s not himself and I don’t like the thought of him being alone here with that woman upstairs” 

“Robbie, sweetheart. I know you mean well but I promise you this is a good thing. That woman as you so eloquently put it is wonderful and will be so good for your Father. I trust her so you should too. Why don’t you talk to her and get to know her a little bit?” 

Robert wasn’t convinced, glaring at his Mother with thinly veiled contempt. 

“Fine” he replied frostily before heading for the stairs, “I’ll talk to her, but I’m only doing this for Dad...don’t think you’re off the hook yet Mum”

Veronica rubbed a tired hand over her face as she watched her Son walk away. What with this and John also acting up the day wasn’t exactly going to plan. She suddenly started to doubt herself, had she made the right decision in all of this after all? She would simply have to wait to find out...

Libby meanwhile unaware of the conversations being had about her had finally managed to get her small haul of boxes up the stairs. Admittedly she could have used some help but the obvious tension in the house right now had put her off asking. With shaking hands she turned the key in the lock and crossed the threshold dragging her suitcase behind her, sighing in relief that she was finally in. 

After dumping everything in one corner Libby wandered into the kitchen where she laid eyes on the biggest and most beautiful bouquet of flowers she’d ever seen. Opening the accompanying card with trembling fingers she was touched to read the note inside “Best of luck with the new job, you will be amazing. Veronica x” Libby smiled broadly, enjoying the smell of the stunning roses and carnations. It almost brought a tear to her eye at how kind the elder woman had been. 

Whilst Libby was taking all this in and admiring the thoughtful gift she didn’t notice that Robert had come up the stairs and quietly entered, half heartedly knocking at the front door. She all but screamed in shock as she suddenly realised she wasn’t alone

“My god, shit!...you scared me!” 

Robert had the good grace to look sheepish 

“I’m sorry...I did knock I but assumed you didn’t hear me and the door was open…”

Libby’s heart was racing as she stared at the man before her, “Please don’t ever do that again...what I can do for you?”

“I just wanted to see how you were settling in, and if you erm...needed anything at all?” 

Libby blinked in surprise, this was a turnaround from earlier, had Robert been put up to this? 

“...erm no I’m fine I think, thank you” 

“Good, that’s….erm good”

“Yes, good….so do you live here too?”

“No I’m just visiting. Checking that my Dad is doing ok”

Libby was grateful for that, she didn’t relish the thought of a clearly suspicious son trying to track her every move 24/7 from under the same roof

“John is lucky to have such a caring family around him” 

“He’s a good man and generous with it. Unfortunately some have seen that as an invitation to try and take advantage of him” Robert looked at Libby pointledly with that comment 

Libby wasn’t going to rise to the bait, she knew that being drawn into an argument could very well cost her her job before she’d even started “You’re very kind to keep an eye on him, others aren’t so lucky”

“Hmmm...yes well I take my responsibilities very seriously when it comes to my family. Family always comes first in my opinion”

“Oh I quite agree, my Mother and Sister are very dear to me too. Do you have a family of your own?” 

“.....Yes I have a wife and two young children”

“Oh how lovely, are they here too? It would be so nice to meet them” Libby made to head for the door but stopped at a sudden outburst from Robert

“NO! No...they’re not here…..they’re back home in Edinburgh” 

“Oh...that’s a shame, well maybe I’ll meet them another time” Libby kept the suspicion from her voice, it was strange to her how Robert had come all this way but left his wife and kids at home...but then who was she to judge? 

“Well it’s been nice to meet you properly, I’ll leave you to it, and sorry again for the intrusion” 

“I’ll come down with you” Libby replied, “I want to catch Veronica before she leaves and thank her for the flowers” 

Libby found Veronica in the kitchen gathering her belongings and looking as if she was about to leave, Robert meanwhile had excused himself and wandered off in search of John who had apparently taken refuge in his basement studio away from prying eyes. 

Libby took the chance whilst it was quiet to speak with Veronica whilst she still could, after all she never knew if she would actually get to see her again after today, considering everything that had been going on. “Veronica, I’m glad I caught you. Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers, you really shouldn’t have!” 

“You’re very welcome my dear, I’m glad you like them. It’s the least I can do. I was actually going to come find you myself to see how you were settling in….Robert didn’t give you any hassle did he?”

Libby smiled softly to herself, she had a feeling that Veronica had given her son a gentle nudge in her direction. 

“Oh no, not at all...I do get the feeling though that he doesn’t like me very much”

“That sounds like Robert” Veronica laughed, “he’s a suspicious lad at the best of times and can be as stubborn as an ox, he gets that from his Father. You don’t have to worry about him, he’s just very protective of John and always has been, he will warm to you in time. Just don’t be surprised if he finds an excuse to visit a lot in the coming months” 

“I’ll keep that in mind” Libby smiled

“Oh, and before I forget I also wanted to give you my number” Veronica handed Libby a slip of paper, “I know you can handle John but if things get ugly or if you simply want to have a vent at any time I’m here for you”  
“....Thank you Veronica, thank you so much for everything...I’m not going to lie, I am a little nervous about the coming weeks and months but I’m sure that once I get stuck in it will all be fine.

“Of course, you will be wonderful! Now I must be going, I think I may have overstayed my welcome” Veronica chuckled to herself before leaning in to whisper in Libby’s ear, “Don’t let the grumpy sod get you down, he’s just showing off” 

Libby sincerely hoped that Veronica was right 

Later on that evening after a brisk stroll up and down the local high street Libby returned home. Home...it felt strange to think of this house...this mansion as home. It was more like returning to an upmarket hotel after a days sightseeing. It was going to take some getting used to. 

After making sure she had securely locked the front door and re-set the alarms Libby headed for the stairs, looking forward to her first night in the apartment. She had planned a relaxed evening that included wine, chocolate and a long hot bath followed by whatever nonsense she could find on TV to while away the hours. 

Haven’t seen John all evening she thought to herself, I wonder where he is? Her question was answered as John suddenly appeared on the landing in front of her, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Hello John, I’ve just been out for a walk, it’s a lovely evening…”

”So I can see”

“....Well I’m heading up now. I’ll leave you in peace. Goodnight”

“Peace, in this house? That’s a laugh” 

Libby was suddenly feeling brave

“John may I make a suggestion? I tend to find you get the best out of a situation if you lay off the sarcasm and treat those around you with kindness and respect”

John simply stared at Libby blankly before walking away. 

This was going to be tougher than she thought


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening all! 
> 
> Here is chapter seven of my modern day Deaky fiction. Thank you for your patience, I hope you’ll agree this was worth waiting a little longer for, and I hope you’re still enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it
> 
> Comments as always are welcome, anything to help me improve my writing :D 
> 
> Enjoy!

Why the hell did I agree to this? John thought gloomily the following morning as he sipped at a mug of tea. I have no privacy now in my own bloody home. 

He stared out of the window from his seat at the kitchen table, watching the drizzling rain that appeared to have settled in for the day. The inclement weather seemed to match John’s mood.

Now that Veronica had moved out for good, and his visiting offspring had headed back home to their own families John felt very alone and horribly vulnerable. He essentially had a stranger living under his roof, a woman who in his opinion had been thrust upon him when his defences were down. Yes he’d agreed to it, but only to keep the peace with his ex-wife who he would no doubt still have to have regular contact with due to their children, and ever growing number of grandchildren

I don’t need anyone, I am perfectly capable of living alone.. He kept telling himself this even if he didn’t always believe it. 

John frowned as he got up to dump his mug in the sink, debating whether or not to brave the dodgy looking weather. He hadn't seen any sign of Libby this morning yet and he wanted to keep it that way, not being in the mood for small talk with someone he barely knew. John wasn’t good with meeting new people, he would admit that. He valued and fiercely guarded his privacy and that of his family, and didn’t take kindly to anyone or anything that threatened that.

The past 18 months had been tough for John and those around him. Up to that point he had enjoyed a mostly quiet life away from the spotlight since his retirement 20 years earlier. More recently though to the former bassists consternation there had been renewed interest in him, thanks to the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody. John had given his blessing to the making of the film but refused to be involved not wanting the hassle or attention. 

Attention however was something that John could unfortunately not avoid. Unflattering candid photos appeared in the papers alongside articles unkindly claiming that he was an extremely wealthy but sad and depressed recluse; anti-social, broken, fragile etc....It was infuriating for John, and heartbreaking for his family who all worried about the effect it may have on him. The only real saving grace was that the press didn’t pick up on the divorce, dealing with it had been bad enough; having to read about it as well would have been the final straw.

John was bought out of his daydream by the sudden sound of movement upstairs. He froze looking up at the ceiling, eyes wide and heart thumping. His stress levels were through the roof. He contemplated making a run for it but quickly realised he wouldn’t get far without being noticed, and would no doubt make a fool of himself in the process. It was ridiculous really, a grown man in his own home being too scared to go about his daily business, what on earth would his family think if they could see him now? His worn out and distressed mind went into overdrive imagining their reactions…

John felt ashamed of himself, for losing control of his life and allowing himself to be dragged into a situation he wasn’t comfortable with. His emotions were all over the place, they had been ever since it became painfully clear that his marriage really was over and that divorce was on the horizon. It was like being on an emotional rollercoaster. 

Some days he felt positive about the future...optimistic, positive, happy even. Putting on a brave face and a big smile, telling himself and those around him that yes, everything would be ok, that he was fine and that this was for the best. 

On the flip side some days John struggled to even get out of bed, not feeling he had a reason to anymore. What was the point when his life as he once knew it was all but over? No one could reach him when he got like that, closed off from the world. He would retreat into himself and refuse to let anyone in, not willing to admit how he was really feeling. 

It worried his loved ones, his close friends and immediate family at how up and down John could be. They would never know from one day to the next what state he would be in, it was like walking on eggshells and distressing for all involved. 

No one resented or blamed John for his behaviour least of all Veronica who of all people understood what her husband was going through. She made it her mission to try and make their separation and divorce as painless as possible, she felt she owed him that much seeing as she had been the one to initiate it. 

Back in the present John scrubbed a hand roughly across his face, surprised at the moisture he found there. Still stood in the middle of the kitchen he felt a tightness building in his chest, his breathing coming in short ragged gasps. Clenching and unclenching his fists John willed himself to calm down. He was on the verge of a panic attack...he did not need Libby to witness this. 

Closing his eyes he tried hard to remember what his therapist had taught him...

Concentrate on your breathing...nice and slow...long deep breaths, in for four, out for four

Relax your muscles...relax one muscle at a time, starting with your fingers and gently work your way up 

Picture your happy place; focus on the details and how they make you feel...imagine the feeling of warm sand against your skin, the gentle summer breeze in your hair 

Focus on the present, the here and now....

Come on John, you can do this, he told himself firmly….this is your home and you are in control...you are in control...

John slowly opened his eyes. He felt a little calmer and more relaxed, his breathing now more even and under control. Sighing deeply, he blinked the tears away whist shakily making his way over to the kitchen counter. A hot sweet cup of tea always went down well at times of unease, and right now was no exception. 

John stared into this mug, regarding the hot liquid as if it could somehow solve all his problems. He knew he had to face his demons one way or another. Every fibre of his being was screaming at him right now to run, to flee, to get away and hide but deep down he knew that wasn’t the answer and it never would be, it never really worked no matter how hard he tried to pretend. Instead it simply acted like a band-aid, a temporary solution to an issue that the man refused to acknowledge and would never go away. 

It was all too easy for John to make himself scarce during times of stress or when the going got tough. He would take the easy, cowardly way out every time and leave others to deal with the fall out, let them clear up the mess that would be left behind.It caused long term damage to his personal and professional relationships which took time and effort to repair. He also risked losing the respect of those around him, respect that he had worked so hard to earn. 

His mug now empty, John made a half hearted promise to himself that he had to change his ways. He had to make the best of the situation he was in, and prove to both himself and his loved ones that he could face his anxiety head on, deal with it calmly and not throw in the towel at the first hint of trouble. It was not going to be easy, and there would no doubt be bumps along the way, but it had to be worth a try...didn’t it?

Deep down John knew and accepted that Libby was innocent in all this, she was here to support him and had accepted the position of his assistant in good faith. It didn’t mean that he was happy with her being in his life, but he reluctantly agreed he had to give her a chance no matter how painful it may be. 

Now all he had to do was face her, without getting worked up or angry...that would be easier said than done. 

John would have to wait a little longer to start facing his fears, as upstairs in the relative sanctuary of the apartment Libby was having issues of her own...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The previous evening having bitten the bullet and given her new boss and landlord a few choice words of wisdom, Libby had locked herself away hoping for a relaxing evening to kick start her new life. She had it all planned out; get the bedroom straight, clothes put away, run a long hot bubble bath then settle down for a night in front of the TV with a bottle of wine. Perfect. 

It had started off well. Thanks to Veronica’s thoughtfulness and generosity Libby had no need to do a grocery run for a while as the fridge-freezer and kitchen cupboards were all full. The apartment was also spotless having been recently deep cleaned, and it was equipped with pretty much everything she might need from the latest state of the art TV to every kitchen gadget imaginable, clearly no expense had been spared. 

Something didn’t feel right though. The apartment was stunning, there was no denying that but it wasn’t home. 

As Libby made her first mug of tea she found herself thinking wistfully of her old flat back in Beckton. It had been tiny, full of imperfections and in a far less salubrious part of London but she suddenly missed it, and she missed her old life. She missed the neighbourhood, the buzz of the local nightlife and her favourite little shops and cafes. Most of all though she missed her friends. She would no longer be able to invite them round for drinks on a Friday evening share a bottle or 3 or even cook up a storm in the kitchen whilst gossiping and putting the world to rights. 

That was the one downside to Libby’s new living arrangements, not being able to have people over. It had been written into her contract that whilst she was living in the house any outside guests were strictly forbidden. It may seem harsh to some, but Libby understood based on her knowledge of John and his former occupation. He had a desire and a need for privacy and she respected that. Her friends and family couldn’t come to her, so she would simply have to go to them from time to time instead. 

Libby attempted to wash away her sadness with a luxurious hot bath, making use of the upmarket toiletries she found stashed under the sink. She groaned in pleasure as she stepped into the hot water, there were few things better in her opinion than a soak in the tub after a long day. It did little to fully ease her tension however, there was still a niggling unease at the back of her mind that prevented her from truly relaxing. 

Libby told herself it was probably just some first night nerves. She had gone through similar several years ago on moving out of home for the first time. She had been looking forward to having her own place for so long, but when the time finally came reality kicked in and she suddenly felt alone and a bit scared. Libby had cried down the phone to her Mother at how lonely she felt, how she’d made a terrible mistake and wanted to come home. 

It wasn’t that Libby felt unsafe, far from it. The house had a state of the art security system and was in a quiet residential street. No, it was more the fact that she was unused to living under the same roof as someone she didn’t know. There was an awkwardness in the air. It was going to take time to overcome and Libby did wonder if she had made the right decision, never before had she started a new job under such bizarre circumstances, including having to fend off suspicious relatives. 

As the night wore on Libby did her best to relax, chill out and get comfortable in her new surroundings. A bottle of wine and finding her favourite movie on Netflix helped a little but she still felt unsettled. 

Libby was nervous.

She was nervous about the fact that she was now alone in the house with her new boss. Nervous too about having to deal with him by herself without Veronica’s back up. She had been assured though that his blatant rudeness was just a front, that he was probably just as wary as she was. Libby had sold herself during her interview as someone who could hold her own in any given situation, now though doubts were starting to creep in. 

Sleep didn’t come easily for her that night. Tossing and turning, she willed her overactive brain to settle down. Her imagination ran wild with all sorts of weird and wonderful scenarios that left her scratching her head in bewilderment the following morning. 

Was her mind trying to tell her something? 

Not feeling all that rested Libby downed several mugs of coffee whilst pondering over how to spend the day, and the forthcoming week. It would have been far too easy to go back to bed but she knew that was unhealthy and wouldn’t solve anything. She had just over a week until her new job was due to start, and with little that needed doing in the apartment now was the perfect opportunity to get to know the area, to get used to the house and to get to know John…

Libby laughed bitterly to herself, get to know John? She wasn’t sure he wanted her to get to know him. He’d not exactly given off friendly vibes since they’d met a few weeks ago. She was certain that their working relationship was going to be strained at best, and if she was going to make this work she would need to set some boundaries as soon as possible. She wasn’t expecting them to be the best of friends, she was going to be working for the man after all, but she did expect a basic level of respect as a minimum. That she suspected was going to be a struggle for him 

Using the dreary weather as an excuse to stay put, Libby pottered about the apartment for most of the day finding herself things to do. Her cell phone was alive with messages and texts from her friends asking how things were going, how she was settling in and did she need anything etc...it was a welcome distraction, helping her to avoid the one thing she was dreading. By mid afternoon though she knew she could avoid it no longer, she could hardly hide herself away all week. 

Come on Libs, what’s the worst that can happen? Giving herself a pep talk, Libby took a deep breath and unlocked her front door

it was now or never...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 8 folks, hope you're still enjoying this. Please leave comments if you're liking the story, I'd love to hear what you think 
> 
> :D

A Greek tragedy or a comical farce. 

That’s how Libby imagined someone looking down on her right now would describe what they were seeing, as she slowly locked the door to the apartment and gingerly walked towards the staircase as if she was expecting a bomb to go off. Ok, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but the absurdity of the situation wasn’t lost on her as she hovered on the top step, working up the courage to continue putting one foot in front of the other. 

She strained her ears trying to detect any sign of life or movement but there was nothing. It was now 3pm so John was no doubt up and about but where? He could be anywhere in the house right now or maybe he wasn’t in the house at all. The weather had perked up with a hint of sun threatening to break through so it was possible that John had gone out for a walk, or maybe was pottering about in the garden or the shed. 

There was only one way to find out…

Come on Libs, you can’t stand here like a lemon all day. 

Libby let out the breath she’d been holding and with a firm grip on the bannister made her way downstairs. To her dismay the steps creaked loudly as she went, why does that always happen when you’re trying to keep quiet? She thought to herself, it was bloody typical. She felt like a naughty child on Christmas morning attempting to liberate the tree of it’s presents without waking up the rest of the house.

After what felt like an eternity she made it to the ground floor, making a mental note along the way to get the creaking stair treads looked at as soon as possible. It was deadly quiet with not a sound to be heard. Libby stood still for a moment glancing around for any sign of John’s whereabouts but nothing was forthcoming. Pursing her lips she contemplated her next move, should she go looking for him or let him come to her? 

Libby figured if she let John come to her she’d probably be waiting for a very long time, so no she would have to track him down and attempt to break the ice, which was not exactly an appealing prospect. But it had to be done. 

She had only done the rounds of the house once before when Veronica had given her the grand tour the day she’d signed her contract, proudly showing off the home she had helped create, and quite rightly so as it was absolutely stunning. Libby hadn’t had much chance to take it all in before but now she was able to take her time, walking slowly from room to room whilst keeping one eye and ear out for John. 

As she meandered about Libby tried to imagine the type of person John was, what he was into and what made him tick? She prided herself on being an excellent PA, and had found in the past that learning a little about her employer made her job so much easier. In her opinion, it was difficult to provide a personalised service when you know nothing about the person you’re working for. 

John wasn’t giving an awful lot away though. 

He was rude, sarcastic and appeared extremely anxious. Libby had worked that much out but she was certain that wasn’t the real John, he was under stress and she knew all too well the effects that could have on a person. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, give him time to open up to her or at least be polite, surely he could manage that? Couldn’t he? 

“What on Earth are you doing?!”

...maybe not

Libby was so deep in thought that she hadn’t notice John enter the lounge behind her, he did not look pleased 

“Oh hello John, have you had a good day so far?”

“I asked you a question, what are you doing in here?”

Libby’s smile slipped off her face. So much for a nice pleasant start to the week. 

“I was looking for you actually, I thought it would be good to have a chat about next week”

“Why would I want to do that?” John folded his arms across his chest, the classic defensive pose, “I also don’t recall giving you permission to snoop around” 

This was not the start that Libby had been hoping for. She had to get things back on track. Remember Libby, she thought to herself, stand your ground but stay calm

“Well I thought it would be good to sit down and go through exactly what I’ll be doing for you in my first few days and weeks, so I can understand what my priorities should be” 

John was unmoved “Your priority will be to do what I tell you to and nothing else. That is what I’m paying you for” 

“John, You’re a busy man. May I suggest that a better use of your time would be to arm me with the information I need to hit the ground running from day one, so then I can get on without bothering you?” 

“How dare you tell me how I should spend my time” John hit back, his voice trembling ever so slightly, “what gives you the right?” 

Give me strength…

It was like dealing with an overtired toddler, throwing a tantrum after having their toys taken away, or being told they couldn’t have ice cream before dinner. 

Libby kept her face neutral and stance unthreatening, she was going to have to work hard to prevent the man from going into total meltdown. 

John however wasn’t playing ball 

“This clearly isn’t a good time to talk shop” Libby suggested, “how about I put the kettle on for you, and we can talk through things later?”

“I don’t want a bloody cup of tea! I want to know what the hell you’re playing at?!” 

This was not going well. It had been pretty obvious to Libby that John was stressed but she hadn’t been banking on an outburst like this. With no audience to play up to she’d expected him to dial it back a little but instead it had swung completely the other way. It would be all to easy to walk away but that would solve nothing. Libby had never thrown in the towel in the workplace before and she wasn’t about to now. It was time for some tough love 

“John, I appreciate this is difficult for you and the last thing I want to do is make it any worse, but you are not helping yourself right now” Libby replied calmly, though deep down what she really wanted to do was wring the mans neck 

“You still haven’t answered my questions, what the hell are you doing nosing around my home?!” John was now shouting, pointing his finger accusingly. He’d lost control and Libby had had enough 

“You’re too emotional right now to discuss this rationally so I’m going to leave you alone and we can try again in the morning” Libby turned to leave, feeling grateful that she’d bought her jacket down with her so she could make a quick exit. “I want to make one thing clear however John, I will not be spoken to in that manner or shouted at ever again. I am here to assist you and support you as I’ve pointed out before, and if this is going to work then you need to start showing me some respect” 

John was incredulous “Respect?!, no one’s shown me any bloody respect recently, least of all you, Mrs knowitall”

“It’s Miss actually, I’ve never been married”

John looked like he was on the verge of a coronary, “For the love of….this is exactly what I mean, you have an answer for everything! You swan in here showing me up and embarrassing me in front of my family!”

Libby regarded John with pity. Rather than being insulted or angered by his outburst she felt sad for him. He had worked himself up into such a state that he couldn’t be reasoned with. He was hearing only what he wanted to and seemed hell bent on blaming Libby for all his problems. She didn’t take it personally though, it didn’t matter who was stood in front of John right now, he would still be pissed off with them 

“I’m afraid the only person who has embarrassed you is yourself”

John gaped at Libby incredulously, for once he was lost for words. He was floundering, not knowing what to say or do next as he knew that every word Libby had said was true. He just couldn’t accept it. 

“Nothing to say John? No? Well I’m sorry but from the moment we first met you’ve been rude, sarcastic and downright nasty to me, and the whole time I’ve had to hold my tongue to stop myself saying what I really think. It stops now, right this second. If you can’t say anything civil to me then I’d rather you said nothing at all” 

With that Libby turned and left the room not waiting for Johns response. She was flustered and angry, and was annoyed with herself for letting her emotions get to her. As she headed for the front door she glanced back and caught a glimpse of John slumped on the sofa, head in his hands. His shoulders were hitching as if he was crying. Part of her wanted to turn back and comfort him, but she resisted, he had bought this on himself. 

I need to get out of here, Libby thought to herself, before quickly heading outside for a much needed long walk to clear her head.

Back in the lounge John was exhausted. He was emotionally spent and now had a splitting headache. the sound of the front door closing made him flinch and he glanced towards the hallway nervously. He sat stock still waiting and listening, expecting Libby to return at any moment. 

Once it became clear that Libby had left the house and he was alone John felt his shoulders drop, he scrubbed his hands across his face and sniffed loudly. It had been a long time since he was last reduced to tears. 

Just a few hours ago John had seen off a panic attack and promised himself to make a change, to be the bigger person and face Libby with dignity. Unfortunately though when the time came the red mist descended and John couldn’t stop himself from lashing out. Just the sight of her had set him off and he knew why; he felt vulnerable and that his home, his private sanctuary had been violated. 

The trouble was that John was unable to articulate this and explain how he was feeling. He had fought numerous times with this ex-wife and fobbed off his children with half-hearted excuses and explanations, whilst refusing to talk about how it was really affecting him. He desperately wanted and needed some comfort but didn’t know who to turn to. He didn’t want to burden his kids and would be damned if he was going to confess to Veronica that he was struggling. 

This was a living nightmare 

Sighing deeply John stood on wobbly legs. What have I done? he thought to himself, I’ve only gone and made things worse. Libby had done nothing wrong yet he had treated her appallingly. Needing some privacy John decided to spend the rest of the day in his studio where he knew he wouldn’t be disturbed. There he could so some soul searching in peace and try and figure out his next move. 

He had screwed up and needed to make amends, he could only hope that Libby would be prepared to give him the chance.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are folks, chapter 9, with the introduction of another member of the Deacon clan....
> 
> I hope you're all still enjoying this, as ever comments would be greatly appreciated :D

I must be crazy, why did I accept this damn job!? 

Libby had asked herself this many times during the last few weeks, and the answer was always the same. Because you love a challenge Libs, and my god what a challenge she was facing right now. 

That very question was once again at the forefront of her mind as she walked the streets of Putney and beyond, pulling the zip on her jacket up higher and wrapping her arms around herself to try and fend off the cold. The earlier hint of sunshine had given way to a more typical British winter, with a light drizzle hanging in the air. Libby had no idea where she was going, she had just needed to get away, to get some space before she lost control of herself and said or did something she may regret. 

Never before had Libby found herself in such a predicament, and she wondered with a slight smile if someone up there was making fun of her. An image popped into her head of a grotesque figure looming through the clouds and sticking their tongue out at her, whilst blowing a raspberry...I’ve been watching too many reruns of Monty Python, Libby thought whilst chuckling softly to herself. 

She had to laugh really at how damn stupid this all was, and completely unnecessary. 

If she didn’t laugh she’d cry. 

John had made things so difficult for them both with his inability to stop for just one second and think about the potential consequences of his actions. He was stubborn, headstrong, impulsive...not an attractive combination. That being said though Libby didn’t believe he was a total lost cause, his reaction to her earlier had hinted at that. Had she finally cracked the icy facade? Were they crocodile tears she had witnessed that afternoon or a sign of genuine remorse? Only time would tell...

Realising by now she had passed the same spot on the high street at least 3 times Libby glanced at her watch, it was 6pm...Christ. She’d been walking for almost 3 hours, no wonder her legs and feet were starting to ache. Guess I’d better get back home, she thought to herself…Home? Ha!, that’s a laugh. It certainly doesn’t feel like home right now...She wondered if it ever would with all the anxiety and bitterness in the air. Something surely had to give. 

With a heavy heart and mixed emotions Libby eventually arrived back at the house and tentatively made her way inside. John was nowhere to be seen, no surprise there, he was most likely still licking his wounds...or so she thought

“Libby….”

At hearing her name Libby turned with a start to be faced with a rather sheepish looking John, his eyes puffy and red. He seemed incredibly nervous. 

“...I erm, I want to apologise for earlier” 

Well this was unexpected 

It had been a long day and Libby imagined John to be just as tired and weary as she felt, if not worse. It certainly looked like all the fight had gone out of him. She thought it best therefore to not get drawn into a long and potentially emotionally draining conversation

“Apology accepted, thank you John” she replied quietly, “I know it’s still early, but I suggest we call it a day and have a fresh start tomorrow. What do you think?”

John simply nodded

“Ok...good, well I’ll see you in the morning then, goodnight”

“...Goodnight” John whispered back before quickly shuffling towards the kitchen. 

Libby watched him retreat with something she couldn’t quite describe bubbling in her chest. Was this the breakthrough she’d been hoping for? A sad smile gently tugged at her lips. It was early days but it seemed all was not lost after all. 

The following morning having slept like the dead, Libby woke up feeling full of quiet optimism with a side order of let’s be realistic. She wasn’t expecting to be welcomed by John with open arms just yet, far from it, but was hopeful that after a somewhat rough and bumpy start they could begin to move forward, one slow step at a time. 

Whilst enjoying a coffee Libby stood by the kitchen window, gazing out at the quiet street below and pondered over long she should hold out before venturing downstairs. She was feeling much more relaxed and confident now but anticipated that John may still need some space. His extreme reaction the previous day at seeing her in the lounge had made that clear, though to be fair Libby had walked in there uninvited. She would not be making that mistake again. 

John needs to get used to having me around Libby thought to herself, and that would never happen if she hid herself away. The apartment was large enough not to cause sudden outbreaks of cabin fever but Libby was not one to stay cooped up for days on end, however tempting the thought may be. She firmly believed that a good dose of fresh air and exercise outdoors benefited both the mind and body.

Libby’s mind started to wander...

Could I squeeze in a run after work, or during lunch? 

Wonder where the nearest ParkRun is held? 

I really should dust off my running gear...did I bring it with me?

What on Earth will I do during my breaks? There isn’t an awful lot to do around here...it’s at least a 20 minute walk to the bottom of the high street…

Libby laughed and shook her head, she hadn’t even started the job yet and was already debating on how to spend her free time. 

Come on Libs, focus. She told herself firmly, you’ll have plenty of time for that, right now you have far more pressing concerns

She needed to track down John and gently convince him to sit with her and get a plan in place for the crucial first few days and weeks they’d be working together. He may well have it all figured out already but until Libby knew exactly what was required of her, they’d be starting off on the back foot. 

With her head held high and a smile plastered on her face, Libby went in search of John clutching a brand new notebook and pen her Mother had gifted her. She may be nearing middle age but she still had a love for shiny fresh new stationary, a throw back from her teenage years.

She didn’t have to look very hard to find John, she found him sat at the kitchen table, nursing a mug of tea and looking over a vast array of paperwork. The radio was on and Libby was amused to see his foot tapping and head bobbing softly in time to the classic soul music being played. It seemed such a shame to disturb him…

Libby watched silently for a moment before plucking up the courage to make her presence known, rapping softly at the door to gain the man's attention.

“Knock, knock...good morning John”

John looked up in surprise causing his glasses to slip down his nose. 

“...oh...hello, erm…,good morning”

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” Libby kept her tone light and hovered in the doorway, whilst trying to get a sense of what mood John was in 

“No...no, I was erm, waiting for you actually, I’ve got some paperwork I want to go through with you. Come and erm, take a seat please”

Libby was pleasantly surprised, this was the first time since they’d met that John had been polite to her...let’s see how long this lasts, she thought to herself

Taking a seat opposite at the kitchen table Libby waited whilst John gathered up the myriad of papers. She suddenly felt rather nervous...but couldn’t place why, there was a strange feeling in her chest. 

“Would you erm, like a mug of tea or a coffee?”

Libby was bought out of her daydream by John’s question, he was watching her with an unreadable look on his face

“Oh, yes a tea would be lovely...thank you” Libby shifted in her seat, she felt uncomfortable and a bit hot. Pull yourself together Libs, for gods sake 

With tea in hand and notebook at the ready Libby braced herself for what John was about to throw at her, metaphorically speaking. 

“Right, I’ll erm...try and keep this as short and simple as possible”, John explained, I’m basically going to hand over all the running of the house and gardens to you, along with all the associated admin. That’s what all this is for” he waved a hand across the large bundle of papers in front of him. 

Libby nodded “I’ll be glad to get started”

John spread the papers out separating them into categories before quietly explaining what needed to be done and when; household maintenance and repairs, insurance for the house and John’s car, planned renovations over the coming months, the security system, management of tradespeople, the household finances and inventories...it was a lot to take in, but Libby wasn’t fazed, it would be no different from any other large long-term project she’d managed in the past. 

An hour later Libby’s notebook was packed full, with pages and pages of lists, instructions and reminders to herself, including one for the pesky squeaky stair treads. She made a mental note to herself to transfer it all to her desk diary and calendar that evening whilst it was still fresh in her mind. There was nothing worse than looking back at hastily scribbled notes and wondering what on Earth they meant. 

Both Libby and John were so engrossed in their task that they didn’t notice movement in the hallway by the kitchen door…then an unfamiliar voice suddenly called out 

“Hey Dad, you home?”

Libby dropped her pen in surprise, looking first at the door then at John who looked equally as confused

“....what the….oh damn, I forgot…” John muttered to himself whilst hastily looking at his cell phone. Before he had a chance to get up a young man appeared at the doorway

“There you are Dad! Sorry I’m a bit early, I did text but you didn’t reply....oh!...sorry, I didn’t know you had company”

Libby gazed curiously at the visitor, she didn’t recall John saying he was expecting anyone

John gave her a weak apologetic smile before beckoning the visitor in. “It’s ok Cam, come in mate. Sorry I didn’t see your messages, I’ve been busy...erm, Libby this is Cameron my youngest son, Cam this is Libby my new PA”  
Libby breathed an internal sigh of relief as Cameron smiled broadly and held out his hand in greeting, “So you’re Libby, the famous PA I’ve heard so much about? Awesome!, it’s great to finally meet you”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too” This was a much more pleasant introduction than the one Libby had had with John’s older son, though she couldn’t help wondering what had been said to him about her. 

Cameron helped himself to a bottle of water from the fridge before pulling up a seat next to his Dad, “So what are you guys up to then?” 

“We were erm, going through all the admin for the house that Libby will be looking after…Libby, do you mind if we wrap this up? You should have enough to go with for now?”

“Don’t stop on my account Dad, I can wait” 

“No, it’s erm, it’s ok...I’ve taken up enough of Libby’s time” 

Libby took that as her cue to leave, closing her notebook and gathering up the piles of paperwork, “Thank you John, that was very helpful. I’ll make sure all this is properly filed away in the office” She got up to leave the two men in peace but was stopped by a gentle hand on her arm

“Don’t go just yet...please” Cameron flashed her a dazzling grin, “Sorry…I mean, I just thought it would be nice to know a bit about you”

“Oh there isn’t much to know really”, Libby replied lightly, she had always been wary of revealing personal information about herself to someone she had only just met, especially when that person was closely related to her boss. 

“Don't be so modest!”, Cameron persisted, bouncing around in his seat, “I bet there are loads of interesting things about you. After all, Mum would definitely only hire the best of the best to work for my Dad, being the amazing man he is. Mum’s spoken very highly of you you know” he continued with a sparkle In his eyes. “She says you’re amazing, every time I speak to her it’s Libby this and Libby that, it’s all she ever talks about! So come on then, tell me about yourself, where are you from? What are you into? Do you have any favourite bands or movies?”

John quirked an eyebrow at his sons rambling, his over sharing and over friendliness, he sometimes didn’t know when to reign it in. “Cam, I’m sure Libby has better things to do than be interrogated by you, come on now”

Libby herself meanwhile struggled to get a word in, “Well this has been lovely….but I really should...” 

“You know I was as surprised as anyone when Dad announced he was getting an assistant” Cameron carried on regardless, oblivious to Libby’s growing discomfort and John’s annoyance, “...but, when Mum explained why, it all made perfect sense, what with the divorce and everything. Hey!, did you know my Dad used to be in a band?!”

Before Libby could reply John rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated huff, “Cameron...that’s enough please”

Cameron brushed off his Dad’s comment, “Oh shush Dad, don’t be daft! We’re just having a friendly conversation” 

John narrowed his eyes, his earlier calm and quiet demeanor threatening to slip away, “Cam, I’ve told you before, don’t tell me to shush”

Libby didn’t know where to look, she suddenly found herself in the middle of a potential domestic, and was desperately trying to think of a way to lighten the mood. “Kids eh? They will say the silliest things sometimes!”

Cameron looked confused, “I’m not a kid, I’m 27…”

“I wish you’d act it sometimes...” John muttered under his breath before wincing to himself, once again he had spoken before stopping to think. Thankfully though his son seemed not to have noticed.

“Well, when you get to my age you’ll think everyone under the age of 30 is a kid!” Libby quickly interjected, “...well, I’ll leave you to it now gentlemen. I have some writing to do. It was nice to meet you again Cameron, and thank you John for the tea” 

“Awww, really? Do you have to?” Cameron exclaimed in disappointment, I was really enjoying talking with you. Another time though yeah, when you’re less busy?”

“Cameron please, let the poor woman go!”

“Ok, ok I get the hint Dad, come on I want to show you my latest uni project, I really think you’ll like this one. See you later Libby!” Cameron waved a hand roughly in Libby’s direction whilst pulling a laptop from his bag. He placed it down in front of him a little too enthusiastically, making the table wobble. 

John shook his head fondly and rolled his eyes, his youngest son could be exhausting to deal with at times but good fun with it.

Whilst Cameron busied himself briefly with booting up his computer, John glanced towards Libby and quietly thanked her for her time. she flashed a smile in reply then hurried from the room without looking back, not waiting to intrude on the rest of the conversation between father and son. 

Well that was a little bit awkward, Libby thought to herself back upstairs as she closed the door to the apartment behind her. Cameron seemed like a lovely and interesting young man though, if a little quirky with his curious mannerisms and wild, funky hair blue hair...the complete opposite of his Father. 

Libby was pleased with the progress she’d made this morning with John, despite the slight tension in the air at times. He had shown that he was in fact capable of having a grown up conversation with her, though he still clearly had work to do judging by the interaction she’d witnessed downstairs

Libby was feeling much more confident and optimistic about the future, the proof in the pudding however, as they say, is in the eating, so Libby made a plan to get as organised as possible before the big day. Now armed with the details required she settled down to put her plan into action. 

She was a damn good assistant and she was going to prove it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot to post this chapter last week, so sorry folks. So tonight there is a double helping to come... 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Hmmm, this one or that one? No...no, definitely not the black, I’m not going to a bloody funeral... 

Libby wandered slowly amongst the rails of suit jackets and trousers considering her options. Having not worked for several months she had decided it was about time that she refreshed her wardrobe. She may no longer be working in the City but she still wanted to look her best, out of respect for both herself and John. She was a professional after all, and would continue to present herself as one. 

Libby was fortunate in that she possessed both the time and cash to dedicate to the task, and treated it like a military operation, working out exactly what she needed and then researching the best stores on the high street and beyond to find it all. She loved shopping for clothes, whether it be for work or play, and took it very seriously. Libby wasn’t a brand snob or a sucker for the latest fashion trends, she simply knew what suited her and her figure that she worked so hard to maintain.

Christ, I need a coffee 

Libby wiped the sweat from her brow as she dumped her haul on the floor in front of her. Shopping was thirsty work. It was now mid-afternoon and she’d visited pretty much every boutique and half decent clothes store in London in her quest to find everything on her list. Now though it was time for a break, and a long overdue catch up with one of her best friends. 

“Oh now that’s good, really good, just what the doctor ordered” 

Libby nodded appreciatively at the steaming hot latte in her hand 

“You’ve earned that by the looks of it” Libby’s friend Harriet gestured to the numerous bags spread out around them, “I’m impressed” 

“Yeah well, it’s been a while since I had a blow out. I figured it was time I treated myself now I can afford it”

Harriet eyed the bags suspiciously, “How much is your new boss paying you again?”

“Enough”

Harriet laughed at Libby’s non-committal answer, “Do they need any other staff, or have any family who need help?!” 

“Not that I know of…sorry!”

“Damn…I’m clearly looking for work in all the wrong places! All jokes aside though Libs, is everything ok? You won’t say who you’re working for, or let anyone know where you’re living now…I had your Mum on the phone the other day asking if I knew anything and I didn’t know what to tell her...why all the secrecy? 

Libby leaned back in her chair and contemplated her best friend of almost 40 years, and how much she should give away. She hated having to keep the truth from her nearest and dearest, her family especially, and knew that it no doubt looked suspicious, but she had made a commitment to John to preserve and maintain his privacy

“I’m not in any trouble I promise, I’m simply going to be working for someone who fiercely guards their privacy, that’s all”

Harriet wasn’t convinced, “There’s guarding your privacy Libs and there’s forcing you to keep quiet, it doesn’t sound right” 

“I haven’t been forced to do anything Harry, I’ve gone into this willingly. I knew the terms when I signed the contract and I’m perfectly happy with them”

“Does your contact also state you must never disclose your location to anyone on pain of death?!”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic”, Libby wasn’t impressed, “I’m perfectly safe living in my bosses house, it’s a lovely quiet area and very neighbourly. I’ve also met some of the family who are just as nice. There is nothing to worry about”

“I just don’t understand why you can’t, or won’t, talk about this, at least tell me what part of London you’re in now”

Libby took a deep breath and composed herself before she said something she might regret. She loved Harriet dearly, but she could be annoyingly relentless

“I’m in South West London, and that’s all you’re getting, because you and I both know fully well that if I were to hand out my new address you’d all be round there like a flash just so you can be nosy. I cannot and will not risk that happening. I’d lose my job before I’d even started”

“I just worry about you Libs, that’s all” Harriet replied quietly, “....and that I’ll hardly ever see you now”

“I know, and I’m grateful for that I really am but you must understand that this is such a wonderful opportunity for me. I’ve been given the chance to take on an exciting new challenge and to really make a difference in my bosses life. I’ll still see you of course you daft sod, I’m not giving up our Friday nights for anyone!”

They both giggled at that, their Friday night shenanigans once legendary during their time at uni were somewhat more composed affairs these days but still a lot of fun. 

“How about I come round to yours this Friday?” Libby offered, “I can bring cake….and wine…”

“...Homemade cake?”

“Of course”

“...Your famous lemon drizzle, with the lush tangy icing?”

“Is there any other cake?”

Harriet's eyes lit up, “As if I would say no to that! My place, Friday, 7pm. It’s a date!”

Libby smiled fondly to herself, her friend was so predictable. Offer the woman a glass of vino and her favourite sweet treat and she would agree to anything. It was one of Harriets many little quirks that made her so endearing. 

A fun weekend with her bestie...Libby was looking forward to it already. Friday night could not come quickly enough, she just had the rest of the week to get through first. A week which would be both fun and challenging in equal measure. 

Tuesday, only 6 days to go…

Libby regarded the calendar on the kitchen wall as she quietly ate her breakfast. It was crazy how quickly the last few weeks had gone by, but then they had been something of a rollercoaster. If her family and friends had known of the turmoil Libby had been through lately they would be forgiven for wanting her to throw in the towel, to put it down to experience and move on, it’s not worth it etc...

Libby was no quitter though, if anything the hurdles she had already faced only made her more determined to make a go of it, to give it her all and prove to both John and herself that hiring her had been the right decision. She had doubted herself at times but now that she’d had a minor breakthrough with John her confidence had grown. The real test of course would come less than a week from now. In the meantime Libby had an extensive to-do list of personal admin to get through, and only a few days in which to get it all done…

That’s better, I so needed that 

Libby scrubbed a towel across her face, breathing hard and sweating after a particularly strenuous workout. She had tracked down a local 24 hour gym within walking distance of home and signed up on the spot, seduced by the glamorous interior and top of the range equipment on offer. The rather attractive personal trainers dotted about the place had also helped seal the deal 

After two hours worth of running, cycling and free weights Libby was feeling on top of the world and suitably de-stressed. She could see herself spending a lot of time at the gym in the coming months, especially after a hard day at the office. 

I can easily fit in a workout at lunch, Libby thought happily to herself whilst knocking back a protein shake. Or maybe before work...she pondered over this whilst making her way home, walking briskly to beat the early evening chill in the air whilst still wearing her workout gear, her hair pulled back into a messy bun and a post workout glow on her face. 

15 minutes later Libby arrived back at the house, thankful to be out of the cold. She unlocked the door and hurried inside almost colliding with John who appeared to be on his way out for the night. She stumbled and without thinking grabbed John's arm to keep herself from falling 

“Oh damn!, I’m so sorry John I didn’t see you” Libby pulled her hand back quickly as if she’d been burnt, she was mortified at her clumsiness 

“It’s OK, don’t worry” John replied quietly. 

The pair stood silently and a little awkwardly for a moment, Libby feeling embarrassed at almost knocking John over whilst John in turn for some reason didn’t know where to look. 

“....I erm, I’m just popping out for a couple of hours” John mumbled whilst staring at the floor 

Libby nodded, not fazed by John’s shyness, “Great! Well have a good time, I’m going to turn in for the night now, it’s been a long day....see you tomorrow” 

“...G, goodnight” John choked out as he watched Libby walk away and head up the stairs, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He hadn’t really noticed until now how slim and toned she was, her slender waist and long legs accentuated by the tight Lycra leggings she was wearing…

John shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face. Jesus….He suddenly felt hot and a bit flustered. Gods sake, pull yourself together man, he told himself. Libby would be disgusted and run a mile if she had any idea that he’d just checked her out. Libby herself seemed oblivious though, thank goodness. He had gotten away with it. 

John’s friends down at the golf club would assure him there was no harm in a little “window shopping” every now and then, and that he was perfectly normal in admiring an attractive younger woman, but when said woman was your newly hired assistant it was heading into dangerous territory. 

John told himself firmly that this had been a one off, that he had been caught unawares and off guard. Yes, that was it, no harm done he surmised as he left the house, gripping his car keys tightly. 

Nothing to see here 

Libby was certain that she’d blinked and missed most of the week, having no real structure to her days at the moment made it all too easy to lose track of time and forget even what month it was. It was now Friday, a wet miserable looking Friday judging by the heavy rain pounding against the windows. Was it ever going to stop raining? 

Libby brushed that thought aside as she leapt out of bed and began preparations for her night in (and out…?) with her bestie Harriet. She had wine and snacks to buy, a cake to bake and an outfit to decide on. Today was going to be a busy day, and she had no time to waste. 

She showered and bolted down some breakfast in record time, before legging it downstairs and out to the local store, this time being more aware of her surroundings. She didn’t want a repeat performance of earlier in the week when she literally ran into John and almost sent the poor man flying. God, what he must have thought of her then...Libby cringed to herself, it hadn’t been her finest moment

Later on that afternoon, with several bottles of the finest pinot grigio chilling in the fridge and her famous lemon drizzle cake baking away happily in the oven, Libby turned her attention to what to wear that evening. 

Hmmm...leather trousers, ripped skinny jeans...or these? 

Libby held up her much loved black sparkly satin pants and considered her reflection in the bedroom mirror, would they be too much for a simple night in? That’s if it was going to just be a night in…

Libby had her suspicions that her friend had much more planned for them tonight other than a simple catch up over wine and cake, that wasn’t her style. If she knew Harriet as well as she thought she did then they would probably end up dancing the night away at one of the hottest clubs in town, flirting with anything that moved and finally knocking back a dirty kebab on the way home at stupid o’clock. 

Leather trousers it is, Libby decided. They looked really good on her and wouldn’t be out of place wherever the pair would end up tonight, be it a trendy wine bar, fashionable pub or underground club in the suburbs. 

At 6pm Libby was ready to go, and buzzing with excitement for the night ahead. With an overnight bag packed, refreshments sorted and hair and make-up fixed she was ready for some serious fun. She called for a taxi and then made her way downstairs, careful not to trip in her high heels 

John meanwhile was in the middle of a crossword, relaxing in his favourite chair by the open fire in the lounge. He vaguely remembered Libby mentioning something earlier in the week about spending the night at a friends, and was secretly looking forward to some time alone. Despite having a large family he enjoyed his own company immensely. 

He looked up at the sound of footsteps in the hallway, and decided to investigate. What he saw made him stop in his tracks. Libby was stood by the front door, cell phone in hand and even with her back to him she looked absolutely stunning.   
Libby didn’t notice John initially and was oblivious to him staring at her. It was hard not to stare, at the black leather trousers and super high heels showing off her long shapely legs. Her long dark blonde hair hanging loose and wavy across her shoulders...John suddenly felt his mouth go very dry

The sound of a car horn outside pulled John from his daydream

“My taxi is here, finally” Libby turned to collect her bags and was surprised to see John standing in the doorway to the lounge watching her. “Oh John, hi I didn’t see you there. My cab is here now so I’ll be off” 

John’s eyes were on stalks, Libby was wearing a low cut lace fitted shirt under her jacket which showed off her assets perfectly. John temporarily lost the power of speech as he took in Libby’s appearance, his hands suddenly felt very clammy. 

“Is everything ok John?” Libby was concerned at the man's silence 

“....I, erm...yes, fine! Have a good time”

“Thanks, I’ll be back tomorrow, around lunchtime, don’t wait up!”

John continued to stare as Libby left the house, closing the door gently behind her, her hips swaying slightly as she went. Those beautiful, elegant and shapely hips…

John felt a hot flush spread across his face and neck, his heart pounding and a growing tightness in his trousers….he suddenly realised he had feelings for Libby…

Shit


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up....
> 
> I really hope you guys are still enjoying the story, please do leave comments if so, I would love to hear what you think

“Morning sleepyhead”

Libby cracked an eye open, the sudden brightness in the room making her wince. She screwed her face up as she rolled over in bed and was met with a far too cheerful looking Harriet beaming down at her 

“What time is it?”

“9am”

Fucks sake 

”Urgh, piss off Haz, it’s the middle of the bloody night still” 

Harriet laughed as Libby pulled the duvet back over her head and did her best to ignore her 

“I’ve made pancakes for breakfast...and coffee”

That got Libby’s attention 

“...pancakes?” 

“Yep, they’re nice and fluffy. I’ve got crispy bacon for you too and plenty of maple syrup, the real stuff this time, not that fake rubbish”

Libby sighed theatrically, as much as she wanted to spend the day in bed there was no way she could resist her favourite hangover cure, especially when Harriet made it

“Oh Christ, I’m never drinking ever again!” Libby declared as she stumbled bleary eyed into the kitchen

”That’s what you said last time, and the time before that and the time before that….”

Libby’s only response to that as she slumped over her seat at the kitchen table was to raise a middle finger vaguely in her friend's direction. 

“Charming! Here, get that down you. God knows you need it” 

“How much did I drink last night?!” 

Libby frowned as she struggled to recall the previous evening’s events. It had started off innocently enough with the two women enjoying the snacks, cake and wine that Libby had bought with her whilst loudly putting the world to rights. That was then quickly followed by yet more wine, numerous shots, gin cocktails and a lot of laughter.   
It had seemed a good idea at 10pm to get a taxi into the West End to party the night away, right now though Libby was seriously regretting it, she hadn’t had a hangover this bad in years 

“Oh you didn’t put that much away Libs, only most of my drinks cabinet…” Harriet couldn’t resist teasing Libby in her delicate state who simply gave her a withering stare in return.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Look you had fun, and that’s what counts....I reckon the bloke you ended up snogging on the dance floor was having fun as well...”

Libby groaned, her head in her hands. 

“...he looked very young though...” Harriet continued, “He was barely legal I reckon, must have been, what...18 at most?” 

Libby cringed as the night came suddenly flooding, or rather crashing, back to her. That was it, she was honestly never ever drinking ever again…seriously 

Ever. 

Later that afternoon whilst still nursing an aching head and now a delicate stomach, damn those delicious pancakes, Libby dragged herself home. She looked and felt an absolute state and was kicking herself for getting so carried away. She now had just over 36 hours to sober up in time for Monday morning. This called for a tonne of industrial strength coffee and lots of fresh air. 

Not trusting herself to not throw up in the back of a taxi, Libby took the tube back from Harriet's apartment in Stratford, dodging football fans and weekend shoppers along the way with all the grace and temperament of a grumpy Bambi on ice. She could honestly kill Harriet right now. Her friend had awoken that morning as fresh as a daisy, bright eyed and bushy tailed. How the hell did she do it? It was so unfair. 

By the time Libby arrived home two hours later she only felt slightly ropey and tired rather than death warmed up. The walk from the station in the cold seemed to have done the trick, as well as a litre of water en route and yep, you guessed it, even more coffee. It was a miracle really that she wasn’t bouncing off the walls by now. 

There was no sign of John as Libby unlocked the front door to the house and wrestled her bags inside which she was grateful for. All she wanted right now was to get upstairs as quickly and quietly as possible without being seen. Her plan for the rest of the weekend being to rest, properly sober up and relax before the big day on Monday. 

Less than two days to go…

Libby put that thought to the back of her mind as she settled down on the sofa for a much needed nap, willing her overtired brain to unwind. The coming days and weeks were going to be a challenge for her, and she would need to be firing all on cylinders if she was going to do herself justice  
John took a deep breath as he retreated to his basement studio, the one place in the house where he was guaranteed privacy, and god knows he certainly needed some right now. Feelings of confusion, irritation and desire were competing for his attention, threatening to push him over the edge again. 

John had felt ashamed of himself the previous evening, ashamed at how his body had involuntarily reacted and almost betrayed him. The solving and easing of one problem in his life now seemed to have only led to another, and he felt conflicted about the best way to deal with it. 

It had taken a huge amount of work to let go of his anger, anxiety and sadness around his divorce. To let himself grieve for his old way of life and accept that things would have to change going forward whether he liked it or not. That had been a huge part of the problem, John liked to be in control, and in recent months it felt as if all control had been swept out from under him. 

It had been suffocating, overwhelming. 

A living hell

John had been pushed over the edge with regards to his feelings of fear and despondency when Libby had walked into his life. He had been scared, frightened of what was around the corner and had taken it out on those around him, Libby included. He had expected her to give up and walk away but instead she had shocked him by fighting back, putting up boundaries and telling him some home truths. 

It had been painful, but had been just what John needed. A proverbial kick up the backside to make him realise what an arse he was being. 

Now John was faced with an even more difficult dilemma. As his outrage over Libby joining his household had evaporated, he now realised to his growing horror that he was attracted to her. He felt disgusted with himself, she was his assistant for one thing and also young enough to be his daughter. He had allowed himself to get into a similar situation in the past when he was feeling vulnerable, and following both the private and embarrassingly public backlash he’d sworn to never let it happen again, except now it was….

Bollocks 

John anxiously paced up and down, debating with himself on what to do next. Get Libby out of his life somehow or man up and deal with it? 

He could let her go...give the excuse that he’d decided to sell the house, and was leaving the country to live in America. No that was ridiculous and too far fetched to be believable. 

He could force Libby to resign…make her job and life so difficult and awkward that she’d have no choice but to throw in the towel. No, that wouldn’t solve anything either. For all the accusations that John could act like a twat sometimes without thinking, he was never intentionally cruel.   
Joh wished there was an easy answer to this, but deep down though he knew there wasn’t, and he was screwed. 

Fuck 

He was going to have to try and put his feelings aside, not think about Libby as a person and simply concentrate on the fact she was here to do a job for him, and that’s all. Nothing else. 

For all he knew she could turn out to be terrible, a great PA on paper but a disaster in person. Was it really so awful to hope that was the case? Realistically the chances of that one were slim, he had to admit. 

The only other option, and this was a long shot, was to hope that by getting to know Libby, both professionally and as a person, his attraction to her would fade. That she’d be boring and dull, or the type of person that John despised and he would rather stick pins in his eyes than hang out with. 

Oh who am I kidding? John thought gloomily whilst lighting up a cigarette. He rarely smoked these days and never normally in the house, but desperate times called for desperate measures. His kids wouldn’t be impressed, but then he hadn’t had reason to impress anyone of late with his hot temper and childish behaviour. 

I’m just gonna have to make the best of it, John told himself sadly. Wait and see what Monday brings, and go from there. He was certain his feelings for Libby would never be reciprocated, of course they wouldn’t. She was young and attractive and no doubt had a partner somewhere that she was keeping quiet, a good looking boyfriend who she spent her weekends with. That’s where she was last night, John surmised bitterly, all dolled up for her fella…

Bloody hell, I sound like a jealous “other man”

John stubbed out his cigarette a little too forcefully, and flopped into a seat at his desk. Truth be told he was jealous, livid even at the thought of Libby in the arms of another man. He had no proof of course that was the case but seeing the woman the previous night looking so beautiful had made his head spin. 

It had been so long since John had enjoyed a loving, physical relationship. He was only human and had needs like anyone else, and now he couldn’t stop himself from thinking of Libby in that way...his mind wandered to a lurid image of her picture perfect face contorted in ecstasy as her boyfriend made love to her…her long golden blonde hair cascading over her shoulders as she bounced gently on the mattress..

Damn, this has escalated quickly 

John quickly checked he had locked the studio door before stumbling back to his chair. He fumbled with his belt as he grew increasingly hot and bothered. He realised there was only one way to get this out of his system…

Monday, 6am 

Libby had awoken early after a somewhat restless night. Her hangover from Saturday morning had worn off relatively quickly to her relief, and she had spent the remainder of the weekend pottering about quietly whilst attempting to get into the right headspace for the coming week. 

The previous evening had felt like her first night in the apartment all over again, with the same feelings of nervousness and anxiety hanging in the air. It never got easier starting a new job, and this time would certainly be no exception. It was going to be tough essentially working by herself without an office full of colleagues to turn to for support, or fun banter to take the edge off a rough day. 

Despite not sleeping as well as she’d hoped, Libby was wide awake and full of nervous energy. In the two hours before she was due to start work she’d gone through her notes over and over again, been for a run around the park and changed her suit three times. 

I really need to lay off the coffee for a bit…

8:55am

Libby took a deep breath, smoothing down her skirt and brushing a hand through her hair. This was it then, it was now or never. She forced a smile on her face and headed downstairs to the office, her office. She’d never had her own office before. 

As Libby got herself settled at her desk the thought occurred to her that she hadn’t seen John all weekend since Friday night. He’d seemed a bit out of sorts that evening, quiet and reserved. Libby had simply assumed the man was just as nervous as she was, not knowing what to expect when they started working together. 

That being said Libby was a little annoyed that John hadn’t shown his face yet this morning, nervous or not it seemed disrespectful and unprofessional of him to leave her to it on her first day, to let her find her feet alone and work out what she should get on with first. Sure she had her notes, but a few words from John would have been nice too.

Oh well, Libby sighed to herself, let’s make the best of it. 

It didn’t take long for Libby to get stuck in, her morning being taken up with organising the office how she wanted it, dealing with an inbox full of emails and handling masses of paperwork. Working from her notes she managed to get in a good place surprisingly quickly and was soon engrossed in the task at hand. So engrossed in fact she almost didn’t notice John finally make an appearance just before lunchtime. 

“....Erm, good morning Libby” 

Libby looked at her watch, afternoon more like…

“Hello John, did you have a good weekend?”, she replied politely, keeping the annoyance out of her voice. 

“....erm, yes thank you. I assume everything’s ok here?, I would have dropped by first thing but something came up” 

Of course it did…

“Oh don’t worry, everything’s under control. I would appreciate a copy of your schedule though, just so I know when you’re planning to be in the house...in case I need to speak to you urgently about anything” 

John looked alarmed 

“I don’t need details of your day to day life” Libby reassured him, “I simply need to know your general whereabouts in the coming weeks, after all I can’t really work efficiently for you if I don’t know where you are” 

John didn’t look convinced but relented all the same, “...erm, ok fine. I’ll send you an email later on today”

Sweet jesus...this was like pulling teeth or herding cats

“Great!” Libby smiled sweetly, “...is there anything you’d like me to concentrate on this afternoon?” 

John hesitated before answering, “...erm, no I don’t think so, looks like you have things under control” he also once again wouldn’t look Libby in the eye

What was going on?

Before Libby could say another word though, John mumbled something about having to head out for a few hours, before practically rushing from the room. 

Libby blinked in response

This was going to be hard work 

The rest of the week followed a similar pattern, with Libby giving her all to keep the house running smoothly, but having to work most things out herself along the way as John had pretty much gone AWOL. It was infuriating 

If she didn’t know any better she’d think he was trying to avoid her, but why? It didn’t make a lot of sense. They’d made such good progress recently that it was disheartening to now see John retreat into himself and disappear from view. To be fair he was no longer being rude and sarcastic, but not seeing him at all wasn’t really much better. 

He had hired her to work for him, and not to be his friend or confidant Libby accepted that, however surely a polite chat over a cuppa in the mornings wouldn’t kill him? 

As the clock struck 5pm that Friday Libby gave thanks that she’d gotten through the week unscathed. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally. The first week in a new job was always tough but this had been something else not having had anyone to help her. She was immensely grateful right now for the super short commute she had back upstairs to the comfort of her apartment. 

Later that evening curled up on the sofa, glass of wine in hand, Libby went over the week in her head. She was pleased with the progress she’d made in such a short amount of time, having already introduced improved ways of doing things around the house, and that would save John some money. That had to earn her some brownie points. 

The only downside to the week really had been not seeing much of John, she had wanted to catch up with him this afternoon to go over her first few days on the job. To have a debrief and ensure that they were both on the same page, but sadly the man was nowhere to be seen. 

Libby could only assume that John wasn’t interested in her personally and simply wanted her to get on with her job without his input

The truth, as Libby would soon discover, was very different...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up again. Libby is oblivious and John forgets himself, a recipe for disaster? Stay tuned folks to find out :D

Shit!....I’m too old for this nonsense

John berated himself angrily, feeling a hot flush of embarrassment as he rushed down the stairs to his studio, stumbling slightly in his haste. He glanced quickly behind him checking the coast was clear before slipping inside and locking the door with trembling fingers. 

He stood still for a moment, his heart racing before throwing his newspaper and cigarettes across the desk in a temper. Once again he had run the gauntlet on arriving home, and done everything in his power to avoid bumping into Libby. It was getting to the point now where he would willingly shimmy up the drain pipes or climb the garden fence to evade her. 

Well, at least he would if he wasn't pushing 70 years old. He may have been quite a flexible guy in his youth, but the only exercise he really got these days was a daily 5 minute walk to the local shop, or the occasional round of golf. 

It was ridiculous, like something out of a bizarre late night game show or a screwed up version of hide and seek. Except there was only one willing participant, a man so scared of his feelings that he was prepared to exile himself in his basement. This couldn’t go on much longer, the national press had already declared John to be a recluse, and an anti-social hermit. The longer he let this drag on the harder it would be to put right, after all a lie unchallenged becomes the truth or so the saying goes. 

The day had started off well enough with John in a relatively cheerful mood. Feeling buoyant after a successful session the previous day with his therapist, he’d spent a relaxing Monday morning catching up with his friends in the club house of his local golf club. An exclusive establishment which guaranteed privacy and discretion, and with a price tag to match. 

After a late and leisurely lunch John had returned home with a slight spring in his step, telling himself that no matter what, he could and would face Libby with dignity. 

Except sadly he didn't…

As John parked up and gathered his belongings he looked up and caught a glimpse of Libby through the dining room window talking to someone he didn’t recognise. For a brief second he considered storming inside to demand who the man was, but then suddenly remembered he had asked (or rather emailed) Libby to get some quotes for new wood flooring. 

She was efficient, he had to give her that, but once again just the sight of the woman was enough to give him palpitations, and lustful thoughts...

Bugger 

John briefly debated making a run for it, and heading back to the sanctuary of the 19th hole, but no...getting crying drunk wouldn’t solve anything, more than likely it would only make things a whole lot worse.   
It would be a right royal disaster if he got pissed enough to confess his woes and admit he liked to knock one out in private over his pretty assistant. There was only one thing for it...yep, be a coward and attempt to sneak indoors undetected. 

It was shameful really, creeping about his own home like a teenager trying to avoid being grounded after coming home late from their high school prom. I can’t keep doing this, John told himself as he pushed the front door closed as slowly and as quietly as possible, before tip toeing across the hall and down the stairs. 

He couldn’t resist sneaking a peek at Libby as he went, making sure she definitely hadn’t heard or seen him. A voice at the back of his head quietly urged him to make himself known, to join in the conversation, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

The basement had become John’s refuge of late, his go-to at times of stress. It wasn’t healthy, locking himself away at all hours. A whole week, seven long days now he had been secluding himself. Communicating with Libby only via email as if he was based thousands of miles away rather than within the same damn four walls. 

It was pathetic 

John glanced at his watch, it was now 3pm. He couldn’t let yet another day go by without showing his face. This had gone on for far too long. Come on John, man up, she won’t bite...the thought of going upstairs however honestly made him feel physically sick. He hadn’t felt this nervous since the very early days of Queen, when he would literally have to be dragged on stage to perform, no matter the size of the audience 

John had to face his fears, and his nemesis. Take a deep breath and not think about Libby in that way, easier said than done though when she was so young, slim and attractive, everything that John desired and appreciated in a woman. Think about something else John, come on, he pleaded with himself, anything to take the edge off and distract himself from his carnal urges. He also still believed that Libby had a partner, so there was no way she’d be interested in him

After giving himself a good talking to, and a metaphorical kick up the backside, John took a deep breath and ventured back upstairs trying his best to not appear as nervous as he felt. To his surprise Libby didn’t appear to be in the office, now it was her turn it seemed to have done a vanishing act. He hovered in the doorway for a moment looking for any clues as to her whereabouts and then he spotted something, movement by the far wall 

John stepped slowly beyond the threshold, trying not to make a sound and craned his neck, peering over the desk. His curiosity finally getting the better of him. What he saw however made him wish he’d stayed downstairs…

Libby was crouched on the floor, her back to him. She was elbow deep in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, quietly muttering to herself. John stood silently, transfixed as he took in the glorious sight before him, of Libby elegantly leaning over. Her pert backside up in the air wobbling slightly as she rifled through the contents of the drawer. 

John was mesmerised, and for a moment forgot where he was. He fought hard to keep his breathing quiet and under control as an image popped into this head of Libby bent over the desk in nothing but a pair of high heels and black stockings. God, the things he would do to her…I bet she’s spectacular underneath that suit...

John was abruptly bought out of his day dream when Libby suddenly stood, slamming the cabinet shut with her foot. She kept her back to him for a moment surveying the bundle of files she had gathered up, before turning slowly revealing her perfectly made up face 

“Oh! John, sorry I didn’t hear you come in, how are you?”

Come on John, talk to her…

“...I...erm...fine...thanks, sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you, I can see you’re busy, I’ll leave you to it”

John was about to leave, cursing himself for losing his nerve when Libby handed one of the files to him

“No It’s perfect timing actually, I have the quotes you wanted for the dining room flooring, I thought we could go through them? Have a seat and I’ll make some tea”

John could hardly refuse such a polite request, if he tried to walk away now Libby would most probably throw her tea at him. He pulled up a chair and waited for her to join him, crossing his legs and thinking the most unsexy thoughts possible. 

This wasn’t awkward at all

“Here you go, one sugar wasn’t it?” Libby handed John a steaming hot mug of tea

“Yes...thanks” He gripped the cup tightly, using it as a barrier between them

“Right!” Libby took a seat opposite and gestured for John to take a look at the quotes she’d obtained. “Well I did as you asked John and got several quotes from some local firms, all very competitive. Plus I have independent customer references and photos for all of them. I took the liberty of checking out their previous work, so we’ll be in good hands with any of the companies listed” 

John was impressed, looking through the meticulous notes and figures that Libby had compiled. He felt ashamed of himself for leaving Libby to her own devices, for abandoning her when she needed him the most. She was perfectly competent; he had no doubt of that, but it can’t have made life easy for her to have zero guidance during the crucial first few days and not once had she complained. 

John grabbed a pen and circled the company he most liked the look of. “This is great, thank you Libby, how soon can the work be done?” 

Libby reached for the phone, “I’ll call them right away, though they did say it may be a few weeks until they can fit us in” 

John closed his eyes for a split second and summoned up the courage to do what he should have done a week ago. 

“Before you do that Libby, I erm...was hoping we could have a chat, about how you’re getting on, and settling in. I realise I haven’t been the best of bosses, leaving you to it, which I sincerely apologise for…” Well that wasn’t as hard as he thought. 

Finally! Libby thought to herself, she was starting to develop a complex over John’s recent avoidance of her. 

“Of course. Well I like to think I’ve made a good start, I have everything I need here, and the time we spent going through all the paperwork recently was a big help, however...it would have made life a bit easier for me if you’d been around a bit more. I have to admit I was disappointed not to see you much last week, especially the morning of my first day. I appreciate you may not have had a PA in this capacity before, but you need to help me to help you” 

John couldn’t argue with that, he’d been a terrible boss so far and knew he had to do better. 

“You have made a good start, a brilliant start in fact. I may not have witnessed much of that I admit but I’m very impressed with how you’ve just got on with it, and I know that if necessary I can trust you to run things for me, and make decisions about the house in my absence” 

“That’s good to hear, thank you. Can I suggest though that we have a catch up once a week? doesn’t have to be for very long, 20 minutes or so. Just so we can make sure all is running along nicely and I can go over any issues with you. I’ve always found that very useful in my previous roles” 

“...Erm, OK I don’t have a problem with that. How about first thing on Friday mornings?”

“Perfect, I’ll put it in the diary” 

Libby flashed a wide smile, she’d been dubious all week as to how this was going to work long term, but now with John seemingly on board at last things were looking up. 

John meanwhile had a slight sinking feeling, he’d hoped half heartedly that by opening up a little to Libby, and by actually sitting down to talk to her she’d come across as the type of person he despised; Strictly professional with zero personality and a massive ego but there was no such luck, she was the exact opposite...and beautiful with it. 

John knew he should be thankful, good assistants with Libby’s credentials and high levels of discretion were hard to find. He was worried though that his feelings for her would start to take over his life, and cloud his judgement. It had been a real effort just to talk to the woman normally without giving away any hint that he was attracted to her, whilst willing his body not to betray him. 

“Thank you again for this” John gave Libby a small smile, “I’ll leave you to it now...have a good evening” 

Libby watched John leave and felt her heart leap, he had smiled...for the first time since they’d met John had actually smiled. He has a lovely smile, Libby thought idly as she got back to work, He’s quite handsome really, in a funny way 

The next few weeks were uneventful. Libby continued to run the house with military precision, and John was as good as his word, continuing to meet with her on Friday mornings to generally catch up and discuss her progress. Libby remained oblivious throughout to John’s feelings, seemingly having no clue of how he felt about her. 

That is until one particular Wednesday. 

John had awoken uncharacteristically late, he was usually an early riser but on this occasion had allowed himself a rare lie-in after a night at his middle Son Joshua’s house. Josh was a professional online game designer and tech enthusiast, and had invited his Dad over to try out his latest creation before unleashing it on the world. John himself had been interested in electronics since his teens, and had bonded with Josh as the boy grew up and developed a passion for it himself with John’s encouragement. 

John wandered downstairs for his usual morning cup of tea but was distracted by work going on in the dining room, he went to investigate and came across Libby talking to their carpenter, a good looking much younger chap with charm and swagger to match. John stood watching for a moment as Libby laughed at the man's jokes. He frowned as he observed her place a hand on the guys bare arm, giggling as he flirted with her. 

“It’s not everyday I get to work for someone as lovely as you”

“Oh stop it!” Libby blushed, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear

“I mean it, most jobs I do are for grumpy old geezers, not pretty young ladies such as your good self, and you make amazing tea” 

Feelings of jealousy and possessiveness rose to the surface, how dare this young whippersnapper come to his home and try to seduce his assistant? Back off pal, she’s not interested in you, don’t you get any ideas. He was rooted to the spot just out of sight of the pair, lips pursed whilst gripping his mug hard enough to turn his knuckles white. 

John could feel his blood pressure rising as he heard the man asking if Libby had any plans after work 

Sod this 

“How’s it coming along then?” John strode into the room with an air of authority, and made a point of standing as close to Libby as possible. 

“Good morning John, it’s going very well” Libby gestured towards the gleaming freshly laid oak flooring, “Steve here tells me there’s just a small patch by the window left to do now, looks good so far doesn’t it?” 

“...Yes, it does” John had to admit the finish was first class, but Steve’s over friendliness wasn’t impressing him at all, “When will it be finished?” 

“Couple of hours mate, just gonna finish my cuppa first”

“It’s Mr Deacon to you, mate. I also think you’ll find you’ll be done within the hour if you can stop drinking all my tea”

Libby frowned at the return of John’s rudeness, she didn’t like where this was going. For God's sake man…She had to nip this in the bud 

“John, how about we leave Steve to finish off here? I’d like to run something by you” 

John let out a huff and glared at a confused Steve as he reluctantly followed Libby into her office. She softly closed the door behind them and took a seat at her desk, gesturing for John to join her. 

“What did erm, what did you want to run by me?” 

Libby folded her hands in her lap and took a moment before speaking, she had to be careful with how she worded this…John didn’t take criticism well. She needed to get her point across but keep calm and professional at the same time. 

“Can I ask, was that really necessary?”

“...Excuse me?” John blinked

“Let’s just say there are ways of speaking to people to establish who’s in charge, without getting their backs up, you know? We may also need to use this company again in the near future” 

The penny dropped and a look of annoyance flashed across John’s face. 

“He was being disrespectful, to both of us, and far too familiar. I’m paying that guys wages and he was taking liberties” 

Libby was confused 

“Disrespectful? You asked him a question and he gave you an honest answer. I don’t understand. Look I’ll replace the tea if that’s bothering you, I didn’t think that would be a problem...” 

“It’s not about the bloody tea!” John snapped before raising his eyes to the heavens 

“Then what is it about?” Libby replied calmly

“...I was defending you back there, he was being completely inappropriate flirting with you like that”

Libby really was confused now, why would John care about someone flirting with her? 

“It was just banter John, normal everyday banter. Totally harmless and a bit of fun. I wasn’t offended at all if that’s what you’re worried about”

”...It didn’t seem harmless to me, what would your boyfriend think about another man trying to ask you out?”

What? 

“...I don't have a boyfriend...though with all due respect I don’t believe that’s any of your business”

A range of emotions flashed across John’s face, and for a moment he forget where he was

“No boyfriend” he muttered, “Thank god…”

Libby wasn’t sure if she’d heard correctly, “What was that?”

John froze, like a deer caught in the highlights 

Shit….

“.......” 

“...Nothing, nothing…oh is that the time? I’ll let you get on now. Don’t you worry about Steve, I’ll keep an eye on him, I’m sure you have much better things to do….and look, the weather’s brightening up, I might go for a walk later….yes it’s perfect out there for a stroll...”

John continued rambling to himself as he quickly got up and left the room, all but slamming the door shut in his haste.

Libby simply sat staring open mouthed at the now empty seat opposite, wondering what on Earth had just happened. He didn’t really say that did he? Nooooooo….no, I misheard, of course I misheard! 

Didn’t I?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are people still reading this? The lack of kudos and more importantly comments tells me they're not...I may well decide to pull the story entirely if I don't get any more interest. 
> 
> Here's the next chapter in any case

Damn it! 

Once again John had shown he was the master of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. 

After managing to keep himself together just long enough to ensure that Steve the carpenter had finished and left the house, John sprinted upstairs to the master bedroom, locking the door behind him, all the while checking that Libby hadn’t yet emerged from the office. He flopped out dramatically on the bed, his head in his hands, grabbing at the little hair he had left. 

I am such an idiot! John groaned despondently, what the hell was I thinking? Why did I have to go and open my big mouth?! 

John’s imagination went into overdrive, he pictured Libby storming from the office in disgust once she’d registered what he’d said, and what it implied...He was sure she would never want to speak to him ever again, she’d be composing her resignation letter right now…it would be waiting on the kitchen table for him, after she’d packed her bags...

Jesus, John get a hold of yourself man 

He was overreacting again, which was a common theme in his life of late. As was speaking without thinking. The classic foot in mouth syndrome. John was an intelligent man, so stopping to engage his brain before shooting his mouth off should be easy for him, and he knew this only too well. There honestly was no excuse. 

John had come so far in recent months, with the help of his therapist and close family but right now it was more like a case of one step forward, ten steps back. It was self-sabotage on a grand scale, he was his own worst enemy. 

He sat up willing himself to calm down. His heart was racing, and his breathing rapid and shallow. John stood and braced his arms against the wall, forcing himself to take longer and deeper breaths. After several minutes of this he started to relax, his shoulders dropped and the panic attack he had feared was coming was safely fought off. 

John knew he couldn’t stay in his bedroom all afternoon. He felt a bit lost as he wandered aimlessly around, smoothing down imaginary creases in the duvet and curtains whilst working up the courage to show his face again. He was absolutely certain that Libby would be angry with him, or at the very least give him the silent treatment for a while, she had to have heard what he said. 

He was in no doubt that she either thought John had been trying to hit on her in a roundabout way, or that he was a sexist oaf. He was not looking forward to finding out which, but seeing as he could hardly abseil out the bedroom window and make a run for it, he had no choice but to face the inevitable. 

This was going to end in tears 

Libby took in a deep breath as she walked briskly around the local park, it was a beautiful crisp clear afternoon and the cool spring air was invigorating. She’d needed a long walk at lunch to clear her head and to try and make sense of what had happened earlier that day. 

She had gone over the mornings events in her head over and over again, and was still confused. 

All had been well until the carpenter had arrived and turned on the charm, John had seemed threatened by him and irritated by the man's attempt at flirting with her. Libby had brushed it off easily though. She didn’t like to blow her own trumpet but she knew that she was a good looking woman, and she was well used to guys of all ages trying it on. 

Truth be told Libby enjoyed the attention and often joined in with the flirting and banter at times, giving as good as she got. She was savvy and confident enough to know when to pull the plug before things went too far, though every now and then would let herself get carried away if a guy was hot enough, and would end up with them making her breakfast. 

As she headed back to the house her thoughts returned to John and his unexpected reaction earlier. On one hand it was slightly reassuring to have him defend and stand up for her, but it also seemed overly protective and dare she think it, with a hint of jealousy. It was as if he was treating her like an object or possession to be protected at all costs. She didn’t get it, or like it very much.

When Libby had admitted she was single John had seemed relieved, and that initially had startled and confused her. At least she was pretty certain that was what he had said. The more she thought about it, it really couldn’t have been anything else. 

Maybe I’m overthinking this? She thought, I must be...this doesn’t mean anything surely.

No...John was just grateful she didn't have any baggage weighing her down, that had to be it. He was old school, from a previous generation and believed having an assistant with no ties would simply make life easier...yes that was it, of course it was. It was a slightly sexist attitude perhaps, but John probably thought that if Libby had a partner or significant other she would quit after just a few months if not sooner to go live with them, and he’d be back to square one. 

By the time Libby arrived back home she had convinced herself that John hadn’t spoken out of turn at all, and that his intentions had been completely honorable even if he did have a strange way of showing it. He had seemed horribly embarrassed by his words and actions though so she hoped he wouldn’t react by hiding himself away again. 

She was determined to keep the man out of the shell that he kept being drawn back into. 

Whatever it took 

Damn, there’s no sign of her...I guess that’s it then…

Fuck

What the hell do I do now? 

John stood forlornly in the hallway, staring at the front door wondering glumly to himself how he was going to explain Libby’s sudden departure to his ex-wife and children. There was no way he could hide it from them. 

He was absolutely certain that Libby had left. He’d worked himself up into such a state that all sense had gone out the window, and sheer panic had taken over. Libby was nowhere to be found in the house and the computer in the office was turned off. That was all the evidence that John needed. 

He was so adamant in fact that when the front door suddenly opened and Libby strolled in bearing a wide smile he almost fainted with shock. 

“Hi John, it’s a lovely day out there today. A bit chilly but just right for a stroll around the park. I really needed that!” 

John was stunned into an awkward silence, Libby hadn’t quit, and wasn’t mad at him...was she? 

“.....”

“....Is there something wrong?” Libby was alarmed at John’s wild eyed stare 

“...I...erm, your erm, PC’s switched off…” John stammered in a squeaky voice, cringing at how deranged he must have sounded 

Libby waved a hand in the air dismissively, “Oh yes, it needed a software update so I just rebooted it whilst I went out for lunch. I didn’t see much point in sitting there waiting...I think it’s a good time for a cuppa now, can I get you one?”

“....no, no I’m fine, thank you…”

“Ok, well I’d better get on. Oh I’ll be out for an hour or so this afternoon by the way, your MOT is booked in. I’ve managed to get you a courtesy car for the week in case there are any issues, they’d better not give me an old banger, can you imagine?!”

John could only nod numbly in response as Libby happily walked away. 

He was dumbfounded, and felt a little nauseous. Had he dreamed the last few hours? 

Not wanting to tempt fate or push his luck, John backed away slowly, trying to appear as nonchalant and unfazed as possible. He had gotten away with it, luck was on side for once and he felt almost giddy with relief. Now all he had to do was carry on as normal whilst keeping his thoughts about Libby to himself. That would be easier said than done 

This was John’s life now, whether he liked it or not. Living with an assistant who had the power to make him go weak at the knees and lose the power of speech. Who was one of the most beautiful, sexy and alluring women he’d ever met, and he couldn’t have her. 

It was a nice problem to have in a way. Oh poor you! his friends would say, If you don’t want her we’ll take her off your hands! First World problems mate! 

John had finally accepted that he had romantic feelings for Libby, but that at the same time he could keep them hidden and face her like a man, he could be a grown up about it and not make life difficult. There was no need to be rude to her. It wasn’t Libby’s fault after all, this was John’s issue to deal with and not hers. 

It was something to be proud of; being able to acknowledge and recognise that how he felt was normal, he wasn’t the first and certainly wouldn’t be the last, and that it was actually ok sometimes to not be ok. It had taken a lot of effort, blood sweat and tears to get to this point, a real achievement. 

John was living something akin now to a double life; by day he would go about his business as normal, coming and going with a pasted on smile whilst stealing the odd glance at Libby. He put his feelings for her to the back of his mind as best he could, giving nothing away to those around him. 

At night however it was a different story. 

With Libby safely out of the way upstairs, and in the security of his locked master bedroom John would let his imagination run wild. He saw this as his reward for keeping a lid on his fantasies during the day, and whilst he did have a teeny amount of guilt lingering at the back of his mind, seeing as Libby would never discover John’s x-rated hobby he generally saw no harm in it. 

One particular evening John was feeling especially riled up. He’d almost lost his shit after catching a glimpse of Libby coming back from a late run. She was breathing heavily, panting and sweaty, her hair in a loose messy bun on the top of her head...the sight was enough to cause John’s cock to twitch. 

A moment of madness overcame him when Libby then performed her post workout stretches in the vast hallway. He watched mesmerised, crouching down and peering through the first floor bannisters like a stalker. He grabbed his cell phone and quickly snapped a photo of Libby as she bent right over to touch her toes, her pert bottom bouncing slightly atop of a pair of tight lycra clad long, shapely thighs. 

The chance and fear of getting caught only turned John on even more, an illicit thrill that sent shivers up his spine. He quickly stood and creeped across the landing towards his bedroom, quietly closing and locking the door behind him, praying all the while that Libby hadn’t noticed him. 

John’s heart was racing as he toed off his shoes and poured himself a large glass of water with a splash of whiskey, seeing to his sexual urges was thirsty work. 

With everything he needed in place John climbed onto the bed and got himself comfortable, laying back with his head propped up on several soft pillows. He grabbed his cell phone and brought up the stolen photo of Libby he had taken a few minutes earlier. Gazing at it longingly, John licked his lips and breathed deeply. 

I bet I could make you sweat and pant like that…

He propped the phone up next to him so he could see the screen without straining his neck, then proceeded to slowly unbutton his shirt. He imagined that Libby was straddling him in nothing but a pair of skimpy black silk panties and matching lacy bra, her soft warm hands gently stroking his bare chest

John closed his eyes and reached for his belt, fumbling slightly in his haste to release his aching erection from the confines of his trousers. He was rock hard already, picturing Libby’s hand instead of his own wrapped around his engorged length, working up and down with long, slow but firm strokes. Her free hand gently fondled his balls, squeezing them softly 

Every now and then John swiped his thumb over the tip, smearing pre-cum over his hand which only served to arouse him further. He whimpered softly to himself, gently rolling his hips in time with his strokes. John cracked an eye open and looked over at the picture of Libby, his heart was racing by now and beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead. 

If only Libby was here right now...

He imagined her shimmying out of her bra, throwing it across the room and leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips. Her beautifully formed breasts brushing against his chest making him moan. He wanted desperately to play with them, to squeeze them gently and to suckle on her pert, pink nipples. 

John was in ecstasy as he pictured Libby lifting her hips slightly to push her panties to one side, she licked a finger and slowly swiped along her folds all the while not breaking eye contact with him. 

I’m so wet for you John, I need you…

He pictured her grabbing his angry red manhood and sinking down slowly onto it, stretching her out and making her gasp. She rolled her hips and steadied herself by leaning forward and pressing her hands to his chest. Slowly at first, then harder and faster, her head thrown back with desire

John was stroking himself furiously by now, growing closer and closer to the edge. Panting and red faced, with beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead.his eyes were screwed shut and his free hand clawed desperately at the bed sheets 

He came suddenly with a shout of Libby’s name, and had to clamp a hand over his mouth to stop himself from crying out further. He took a moment to catch his breath and let his heart rate return to normal before sitting up, grimacing at the mess on his stomach and all over his hand. 

John felt a mixture of shame and exhilaration. He sat still hoping that his cries of passion hadn’t made their way upstairs. The last thing he wanted was for Libby to come knocking thinking that something terrible had happened to him.

Libby, sweet beautiful Libby….

John groaned and flopped back on the bed, still on a high from his secret orgasm. His phone lying forgotten at his side. Fantasising about Libby whilst he played with himself was fun, but it was no substitute for the real thing. 

Maybe one day he would be lucky enough to have Libby share his bed?...No, no that was a pipedream as much as he wanted to believe otherwise, a desire that would have to remain in his head. He had to accept that. Libby wouldn’t be interested in him, he was certain of it. John was a good 20 years older than her, and hardly a looker these days with his balding head and deep wrinkles. 

What would she see in him, when she could have any fit good looking young man that she wanted?

John would just have to continue keeping his feelings to himself. It would be tough, but necessary for both their sakes. 

Libby smiled to herself as she nursed a well deserved mug of tea. It had been a good day, a good week actually. There was a good vibe in the air with things seemingly going her way at last. In the past she would have been suspicious at such a run of good luck, but this time Libby had no reason to think the tide was against her. 

Urgh, I need a shower. I stink like a polecat! 

Libby chuckled to herself as she dumped her mug in the sink before making a beeline for the bathroom, grateful that John hadn’t been around to see or smell the state of her after an hours long run around the local park. 

Sexy, not! 

Her plans were interrupted however by a sudden noise, something that sounded like a muffled shout from downstairs…

Libby stood stock still, listening and waiting but there was nothing, total silence. 

Had she been hearing things? 

She hadn’t seen John when she’d got back earlier, was he ok? 

Libby felt torn, should she go and investigate or just ignore it and go about her evening? It was probably nothing...or was it? John could be lying injured in pain somewhere...or most likely be in a rotten mood because something in the house had broken or gone wrong.  
Sighing deeply, Libby decided she’d better go have a look, to put her mind at rest if nothing else. If the worst had happened and she’d done nothing she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. 

Half way down the stairs however Libby suddenly lost her nerve, it felt wrong to be creeping about. She wanted and needed to know that John was ok but at the same time also didn’t want to disturb him. 

What do I do? 

The answer would soon be forthcoming…

John finally got moving as the cum drying on his stomach made his skin start to itch, it was an effort to get up though. He’d really gone for it tonight and gotten close to putting his back out the way he’d been flailing around. 

Feeling too tired for a full shower, John grabbed a washcloth from the ensuite and performed a perfunctory clean up instead, doing so with mixed feelings. He wished with all his heart that it was Libby wiping him down, smiling warmly and peppering him with soft and gentle post-coital kisses. Instead he had to make do with sorting himself out, as he had been for weeks. Sadly feeling a little like a pervy old man. 

A sudden noise from outside the room made John look up sharply, all thoughts of feeling sorry for himself now forgotten. It sounded to his horror like footsteps coming down the stairs, which could only mean one thing...Libby had heard him shouting 

Fuck

This was bad, really bad...

John risked inching towards the door and cupped a hand, listening carefully for signs of movement. He couldn’t hear anything, not a sound. Was he going senile? He was sure he’d heard the stairs creaking. Or was he so on edge that his mind was playing tricks on him? 

He was terrified of Libby discovering his secret, he was going to have to work harder from now on to prevent that from happening. Back to the basement it would have to be for a while, which only made this all seem even seedier. 

What a nightmare. 

Feeling certain now that the coast was clear, John unlocked the door and gingerly pushed it open, he had to check that he definitely hadn't been rumbled. He poked his head round the door and was shocked to see Libby sat on the stairs above him, he jerked back hoping she hadn’t noticed but wasn’t quick enough

“John!...hi...erm...I erm, sorry I heard shouting just now, are you ok?” 

Oh god

“...I’m fine, just fine thanks...I erm, walked into my dresser, that’s all. Caught my knee…” What a load of bollox, John thought to himself, she’ll never believe that

“...Oh right, ok...well as long as you’re alright?, not hurt are you?”

“...No, no I’m fine thanks” 

Please don’t come downstairs, please don’t come downstairs

To his horror Libby did exactly that and got up, coming down to speak with him face to face. He panicked as in his haste to check what was going on, he’d completely forgotten that he was pretty much naked apart from his crumpled shirt hanging off his shoulders, it was incredibly tempting right now to slam the door closed. 

“Sorry John, I wasn’t snooping. I just heard what sounded like a shout and erm, I worried something had happened” 

Too right something had happened..

“It’s fine, don't apologise. It’s my own fault for not looking where I was going, I think I need new glasses!” John tried to laugh it off whilst attempting desperately to keep himself covered up. 

Libby didn't look convinced, she was quietly concerned by John’s ragged appearance and red sweaty face..what on earth has he been up to? 

“...Ok....well I’m sorry to have bothered you. Enjoy the rest of your evening, I’ll see you tomorrow no doubt, goodnight”

“...Yes..you too, goodnight”

With that John closed the door as quickly as seemed polite, but not before Libby caught a glimpse of his bare legs, chest and backside…

Bloody hell…

Libby was stunned at what she’d just seen, she stumbled back upstairs to the apartment in shock, locking the door with trembling fingers. 

I’ve just seen my boss naked…

Libby couldn’t get the image out of her head. Of John’s shapely thighs, luscious thick grey chest hair and almost perfect rear end...he looked damn good for his age

Libby groaned and sagged on to the couch, staring up at the ceiling in despair. Her face was flushed and she felt an odd warmth bubbling in her stomach, a feeling she hadn’t had in so long. 

My boss is fit…like, really fit 

Shit


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm rubbish at writing summaries, so I'm not going to bother! Just please read, and enjoy :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, apologies for the delay in updating this. I've had a bit of writers block but am back on track now :D 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, as ever comments are very much welcome

You’re a professional Libs, and a grown bloody woman not a hormonal teenager. Come on, you can handle this...get over yourself, it’s not like you’ve never seen a half naked man before…

...a mature, attractive and near naked man who lives just feet away from you downstairs...

Stop it! 

...Oh who am I kidding? 

Libby was in turmoil, feeling ashamed of herself for thinking of John in that way. I can’t find him attractive, he’s my boss..this is wrong, this could ruin everything....Libby slowly let out the breath she’d been holding, whilst trying desperately not to think about what she’d seen downstairs. 

That would be easier said than done though...

Think about something else Libs, gods sake woman come on! Think the most unsexy thoughts possible…John would be disgusted with you if he found out….shit, this isn’t working….I’m so hot and sweaty, I need a shower badly, yes...yes a nice cold shower, that’s it...that will sort me out. 

Sadly for Libby a cold shower went down about as well as finding a large spider in her bed. It was a reasonable idea for how to quench the ever increasing fire in her belly, but just ended up with her shrieking in shock instead. 

Jesus! I am NOT doing that again. Whoever thinks a cold shower is a good idea is a bloody moron. 

Libby shivered whilst she waited for the water to heat up, her mind wandering against her will. She couldn’t stop thinking about John and his state of undress, no matter how hard she tried, which made her groan with despair. Images of his bare chest and toned thighs kept appearing in her mind. She shook her head helplessly, stepping into the flow of steaming hot water and attempted to wash away her troubles. 

The heavy spray of water was relaxing on Libby’s skin, a little too relaxing… 

She closed her eyes as she took her time scrubbing herself down, rinsing away a day's worth of hard work, sweat and grime. Her heart overruled her head as she began daydreaming about John being in the shower with her, she desperately tried to block the increasingly lurid thoughts from her mind but it was no good. She was too far gone now; worked up, hot and bothered and in need of sexual release. 

Libby imagined John wordlessly stepping into the shower cubicle behind her, a sudden draught of cold air announcing his arrival. She tilted her head back, succumbing to her desires. She imagined John softly whispering her name, quietly cooing assurances that he would take care of her, whilst shuffling forward in the enclosed space to wrap his strong arms around her waist, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her head. 

Despite by now already being clean, Libby grabbed the shower gel and poured a generous amount into her hands. She imagined it was John’s hands instead of her own that were slowly but firmly gliding over her skin; cupping, stroking and massaging everywhere within reach. Those long elegant fingers working their magic, roaming over her body. Teasing her pert nipples, gently squeezing her breasts and caressing her ass and stomach. 

Libby was getting seriously worked up by now, breathing heavily with her eyes closed. There was something incredibly sensuous about her situation; the combination of the hot water, steamy environment and soft slippery soap against her warm, wet skin made her feel incredibly aroused, which wasn’t helped by the fact she hadn’t slept with anyone for quite a while, months in fact. 

The fire continued to burn in Libby’s belly, stoked further by her daydreams of an illicit liaison with the man who paid her wages. In her mind it was wrong, immoral, and treading a very dangerous path but Libby didn’t care. She was strung like a live wire, overcome with lust by the thought of being taken roughly there and then. 

Panting hard, and on the verge of going over the edge, Libby slid a wet and slippery hand between her legs whilst caressing her chest with the other. She leaned back against the tiled cubicle wall and stroked herself, gently at first before slowly building up to a firm and steady rhythm. She whimpered, feeling bolts of electricity shooting through her core, as the pressure increased. 

Her legs were wobbling now, struggling to hold her weight as she massaged herself harder and harder. Libby imagined that John was knelt in front of her, holding her legs apart whilst lapping at her, his strong powerful tongue working her to completion. Drinking her up. It only took a few more minutes before Libby came with a loud groan, which was thankfully muffled by the tiled surfaces around her. 

Libby barely had time to catch her breath from her sudden orgasm before her legs gave out and she slid to the floor, landing in an undignified heap with a surprised squeak. She attempted to stop herself falling by grabbing at the cubicle door handle but it was to no avail. That would hurt in the morning. 

Once over the initial shock Libby slowly pushed herself up with a grimace and slumped back against the tiles, pressing a hand against her bruised elbow. The still flowing water was now growing increasingly cold and she shivered, goosebumps popping up all over her skin. How long have I been in here? She thought to herself before hauling herself up off the floor, being careful not to slip again. 

Look up the word awkward in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of me, Libby thought to herself with an annoyed but oddly satiated sigh. How the bloody hell am I supposed to face John now? 

Not once had she considered John as anything other than simply the man she worked for, but now? Libby was confused, she’d just got off to the thought of him shagging her in her own shower, but was it John she actually wanted? 

She’d seen the man in an unexpected state of undress which had shocked and surprised her, but ultimately turned her on, awakening something in her that needed to be quenched. The truth was she’d not had a serious relationship in years, having to be content instead with short lived romances, and the odd one night stand. 

Libby pondered over this as she dried herself off, hoping to avoid catching a chill from sitting in the spray of cold water for so long. She’d completely lost track of time, not realising that she’d been in the bathroom for the best part of an hour. Her emotions were all over the place, muddling her brain. Did she want John, or simply some proper male company? There was only one person who could help her sort this out...

“Hey Haz, sorry to call so late. Didn’t wake you did I?” Libby collapsed on the coach, clutching her cell phone in one hand, and a large glass of wine in the other. 

“Hey Libs, no my love it’s not that late, it’s only 9pm. I was just finishing with dinner actually. What’s up?...Have you had a bad day?”

“Something like that…” You don’t know the half of it 

“Oh dear, that was not a happy sigh” Harriet teased gently, “Is that boss of yours making you work for a living for once in your life? No wonder you’re fed up!” 

“Shut up! No...I...” Libby trailed off, not sure of how much she should give away. She loved and trusted her best friend with her life, but this was one hell of a sensitive subject. “I..I need your advice”

“That sounds ominous...are you ok?” Harriet’s teasing made way for genuine concern.

“I’m fine, honestly. I just…” Libby couldn’t bring herself to tell the whole story, her embarrassment and shame were bad enough as it was, a little white lie wouldn’t hurt just this once, “I’m single Haz, very much single and very very horny. Right now I’m not sure if I want a boyfriend or just need a casual hookup to get it out of my system”

“Oh Libs!” Harriet chuckled lightly, “I’m not surprised by that to be honest, living with your boss out in the sticks can’t give you much chance to get your leg over” 

“This isn’t funny, I’m really suffering here”

“I’m sorry Libs darling, but you have to admit it is a little amusing”

“Full of sympathy you are” Libby replied grumpily, her friend's attempt at humour doing little to improve her mood. 

“Ok, alright...you don’t really want a one night stand do you now, be honest? You and I know both know how unfulfilling they are, god knows we’ve had enough of them in the past. What you need my love is to get back on the dating scene”

“You don’t think I’ve tried that? Guys flirt with me all day long, but it never usually goes any further than dinner, or if I’m lucky a quick roll in the hay…god I sound like a right slut…” Libby was horrified at the realisation, surely it was time for her to consider settling down?

“Libby Ann Johnson, you take that back! You are not and never have been a slut!” Harriet was outraged at her friend's self-deprecation. “A man plays the field and is labelled a jack-the-lad, but if a woman dares to do the same she’s automatically a whore? No! It makes me sick! You banish that thought from your head this instant!”

Libby cringed at her friend's tirade, it wasn’t often that someone middle-named her in anger, but when they did she knew it was time to listen. 

“Sorry Haz, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just fed up. I should be settled down and married by now shouldn’t I?” 

“Says who? There’s no law that dictates once a woman hits a certain age she needs to find a husband. Look, get yourself a glass of wine and relax” 

“What makes you think I don’t have one already?”

“That’s the spirit, turn that frown around, dust off your dancing shoes and get back out there girl”

“...Yeah, I guess the right man is out there somewhere, may as well have some fun before I find him” 

“I think I know the perfect man for you actually”

“You do? Why didn’t you say?!” Libby asked hopefully 

“Yep, my cousin” 

“....”

“What?”

Libby was not impressed, “Christopher? Your idiot cousin? Oh yes I’ve heard of him, who hasn’t? This is the guy who got mugged by a stripper in Amsterdam yes? Who failed his driving test ten times in a row? Who drunkenly streaked at the start of the London Marathon last year?!”

“Hey, that was not his fault!...his drink was spiked…”

Libby was incredulous, “It was 9 o’clock in the bloody morning!” 

“...He was in a bad place back then, he fell in with a dodgy crowd...but yes, that’s him. He has a good job now though, and a BMW. He works in publishing” Harriet replied proudly. 

“I hate him already”

Harriet huffed in annoyance, “Oh stop being so dramatic. All I’m asking is that you give him a chance, he really does have a lot going for him you know, he’s very sweet. Let me send you a photo of him” 

“Go on then…” Libby sighed whilst waiting for the promised picture to land in her inbox. On seeing it she had to admit he was cute, “...Well, he erm, looks alright I guess...nice smile...good teeth”

“There you go! Now if you let me give him your number…”

“Haz, I am not dating your cousin”

“Why not?!” 

“Because he’s your cousin! It would be weird...not to mention bloody awkward between us if it didn’t work out”

“I’m not asking you to marry him! Just go for a drink and have a bit of fun. Oh come on, this is far better than sodding about with all those dodgy online dating apps. You’d only end up being catfished”

“...Fine, I’ll go for one drink with him, but that’s it” 

“Perfect! I’ll get him to call you tomorrow” 

“I can hardly wait…”

After ending the call Libby drained her glass of wine in one gulp, and headed to the kitchen for another one before changing her mind and opting for a strong cup of tea instead, it was a school night after all. She leaned against the kitchen counter whilst waiting for the kettle to boil and went through the conversation with Harriet in her head. 

Should I give Chris a chance? I guess it can’t do any harm, even if he does sound like a total berk. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see 

Libby took her tea to bed with her, suddenly feeling somewhat worn out and emotionally drained. She did feel a little better after chatting with her bestie, despite not revealing the real cause of her anguish. She did however still feel conflicted, confused, and anxious. Anxious about how she may feel and react on seeing John the following morning, knowing that she’d seen him in a compromising position. Libby was worried she’d do or say something stupid and make a fool of herself. 

The next few days were going to be interesting.

The following morning after a somewhat restless night's sleep, Libby braced herself for an awkward day at the office. Part of her hoped and prayed that John would make himself scarce, but at the same time she knew it would solve nothing to avoid all contact. She knew how it felt to be seemingly ignored, how soul destroying it could be. The professional side of her kicked in and decided that simply wasn’t an option. 

The best course of action Libby decided was to simply carry on as normal, not to avoid seeing John but not go out of her way to track him down either, unless she really had to. What could go wrong? 

It was late morning before John made an appearance, emerging from his basement studio with an air or someone on a mission surrounding him. Libby took one look at the man and just knew her day was about to get so much busier.

“Morning Libby, do you have a moment?” 

“Morning John, of course what do you need?”

Don’t think about him naked, do.not.think.about.him.naked…

“I was in the conservatory last night and noticed the floor tiles are looking a little dated, I think it’s time they were replaced with something a bit more modern.”

Unfortunately Libby had only been half listening whilst trying to banish images of John’s chest hair from her mind. She realised John had stopped talking and was looking at her expectantly, awaiting a response. 

“...Um, right ok...sorry, tiles?” 

The look on John’s face was unreadable

Shit. Come on Libby, focus 

“Is everything ok Libby? You seem a little...distracted”

Bollox 

“...Fine! Fine, yes sorry John everything’s fine. So you want to replace some tiles yes? No problem at all, I’ll get on that straight away, get some quotes for you”

“Actually, I want to go have a look at some in person, there’s a DIY superstore on the main road out of Putney, I was thinking we could go together, so I can get your opinion” 

I’ll have to sit in a car with him, in close quarters, for over 30 minutes….

“I also need some groceries, so we can stop in at the supermarket on the way back too if that’s ok” 

“Of course! I need a top up myself actually, so that would make sense to go together”

“Great, we’ll leave after lunch, I’ll drive...by the way, I just wanted to check. I thought I heard a bang from upstairs last night, from the apartment...did something happen?” 

Oh god, he heard me…

“...Yes...sorry if I worried you, I just erm, well I slipped in the shower” Libby admitted, she couldn’t bring herself to lie.

John looked horrified, “Are you ok? You’re not injured are you?”

“No! Oh no I’m fine!” Libby laughed it off, “I bruised my ego more than anything, I should have been more careful really”

John didn’t look convinced but accepted the explanation, “...Ok, well as long as you’re sure. We’ll pick up a new shower mat for you this afternoon, I don’t want that happening again. I have a duty to look after your welfare” 

Libby felt her heart race as John walked away, what the hell was wrong with her? 

That was close, I have got to be more careful. Come on Libs, you don’t have a crush on John or any feelings for the man, of course you don’t, none at all...he’s your boss, and nothing else. Nothing else…He’s a decent looking bloke yeah, but there are loads more, far better looking guys out there, who are a lot younger and more appropriate for you.

With her head held high and a steely determination, Libby firmly told herself to forget about what happened last night, to accept the fact that nothing would or could ever happen with John. She didn’t fancy the man obviously, she’d simply been aroused at the sight of a lot of bare skin, she was only human after all, a red blooded woman who had needs like everyone else. 

The sooner she accepted that the sooner she could move on, find herself the right partner eventually and all would be right with the world, simple. 

Simple...somehow the word simple, never seemed to feature much in Libby’s life, and that wasn’t about to change anytime soon, as she would soon discover during the coming weeks. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Libby? Libby is that you?” 

Libby looked up in surprise at the sound of her name being called. She was standing in the middle of the local Waitrose supermarket with John whilst trying to decide what brand of coffee to try next. The selection available was almost overwhelming. John had the bright idea of tagging along as he also needed some groceries, and being ever practical wanted to share the car and save on fuel. Libby had offered to pick up his essentials for him, but John had politely refused, insisting that Libby was his assistant and not his slave. It certainly made for an interesting afternoon...

“Oh shit, it’s the ex…”

What the…

Before Libby had a chance to respond, John had vanished, legging it down the pet food aisle, abandoning his trolley at her side

Brilliant, thanks John, you utter coward!

“Libby dear, I thought it was you! How are you?” Veronica rushed over and pulled Libby into a gentle hug before she could protest 

“Hi Veronica, fancy seeing you here!...I’m very well thank you. Yeah, I’m just erm getting a few bits in for the weekend you know” 

Veronica smiled warmly at her, “Great minds think alike, I’m here for the exact same reason. I have some friends over this evening” 

“Oh, lovely…that sounds like fun” 

“Is John not with you? I thought I saw him a moment ago?” 

“...Erm, yes you did, yes he’s here somewhere...we erm, both needed some supplies and other bits so thought we’d come out together, share the car, save on petrol etc...didn’t see the point in making two seperate trips you know…” Libby tailed off, silently berating herself for rambling on.

John, where the hell are you?! 

“So it looks like things are going well?” Veronica gave Libby a knowing look

“Sorry?”

Veronica rolled her eyes playfully, “You and John”

“Oh! Yes, yes we’re getting on great thanks. It was err, well it was tough going at first as I’m sure you’ll understand, but I think I’ve finally cracked the nut. At least I’ve certainly had worse bosses!” 

“I’m so pleased for you, didn’t I tell you it would be worth it?” Veronica leaned forward and whispered “...and I don’t mind you know” 

Eh? 

Libby was confused, “Erm, you...don’t mind…? 

“No, I don’t mind at all. In fact I think you make a lovely couple”

...Hang on

“I actually saw you both on the high street the other day, at that new coffee shop near the war memorial”

“...Erm, yes we’d just stopped for a break after shopping for new floor tiles…”

“I’ve seen the two of you out and about recently. I do admit I was surprised at first but I have to say you look so good together”

“....”

What’s going on here? 

“I was going to stop by and say hello, but you seemed so deep in conversation I didn’t want to disturb you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and it’s pretty clear that he’s smitten”

What.the.hell...

Libby was lost for words...after all, what do you say to a woman who believes you’re dating her ex-husband? 

“...Veronica, that’s very kind of you to say but…”

“It’s alright, you don’t need to hide it from me” Veronica chuckled softly, “I had some good times with John over the years of course, but it’s time to move on for both of us, and believe me when I say this, I think you’re absolutely perfect for him”

Shit, I need to sort this quick 

“Erm, Veronica I…”

Veronica however didn’t give Libby a chance to put her right, being oblivious to her discomfort, “Don’t worry my dear, your secret is safe with me. It’s not my news to tell” 

“Veronica, I really don’t…”

“Give my best to John won’t you, I really must get going now or I’ll be late for my own dinner party!” 

“....Yeah it was good seeing you too…”, Libby mumbled in disbelief as Veronica walked away. She wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. 

She thinks we’re a couple...and she’s ok with it...

Fuck 

...This is a nightmare 

That’s it…I’m definitely going on that date with Chris this weekend, I’m calling him back tonight. I’ve put him off long enough. 

I need a boyfriend. Fast


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Libby's first date in an age goes badly, whilst John finally accepts his feelings for a certain someone

John wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole right there and then, he was that shocked and mortified. 

What on earth had he just witnessed? 

Ok, perhaps he shouldn’t have been spying, and it was a little off of him to run away when he’d caught a glimpse of his ex-wife, but he’d panicked, not wanting to face her. The last time they’d been in the same room together the conversation between them hadn’t exactly been cordial, and John didn’t trust himself to not say something he may regret again, despite Libby’s presence. 

From his hiding place in the next aisle along John hadn’t heard the entire interaction between Libby and Veronica, but he’d heard, and seen, enough. Enough to make his jaw go slack and his head spin. Somehow a couple of innocent and simple shopping trips with a coffee break in between had been enough to make his ex believe that he and his assistant were now an item…? 

It was madness 

What was Veronica seeing that John wasn’t? More to the point, why was she ok with it?! 

Any normal, self respecting person would be horrified and outraged at their former husband having it away with a much younger woman just weeks after their divorce, surely...wouldn’t they? It made John’s heart sink, that Veronica could be so unmoved by their split that she wasn’t bothered by the idea of him moving on that soon, and with all people a much younger woman she had been responsible for bringing into his life. 

John felt his anger flare, he was embarrassed too at being put in this position. Once again, in his opinion, his former wife was sticking her nose in and trying to run his life, making assumptions and implications that simply weren’t true. He had to put a stop to it somehow without risking a major and potentially damaging fall out. 

John watched silently with bated breath as Veronica casually walked away with a wave, seemingly without a care in the world, leaving a dazed and confused Libby behind. He waited for as long as he dared, stood stock still, guessing it was best not to make an appearance too soon. He made out he was very interested in a new brand of puppy treats, but quickly attracted some strange looks from other shoppers so had to give up and wander over to Libby as nonchalantly as possible, grabbing a random couple of items en route.

“Sorry about that” John dumped the items in his trolley with as calm an expression as he could muster, “It took me a few minutes to find the exact brand I was looking for…”

Libby raised her eyebrows in astonishment before glancing at the items John had apparently been so desperate to find.

...Dog food…

Is he having a laugh? Come on John, you’ve gotta try better than that. He fucks off at the worst possible moment, leaves me standing here feeling like a right idiot, acts like nothing happened...then makes out he did a Usain Bolt because he needed bloody dog food…?

“Libby?”

“...I erm, didn’t know you had a dog? I’ve never seen one around the house?”

John looked startled for a moment then regained his composure, “Oh no it’s not for me, it’s for a friend. So how are you getting on?”

You lying sod, why can’t you just be honest with me? 

“....I’m erm, almost done. Yeah I just have a few more items to get, I...got sidetracked, talking to Veronica just now...”

Careful Libs, you don’t want to cause a scene...

“No problem” John replied a little too quickly with a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes, “I’ll finish off getting what I need and meet you back at the car when you’re done ok? Take your time there’s no rush”

I don’t believe this

Libby’s shoulders slumped as she watched John wander off, this time taking his trolley with him. Her heart was racing, thumping loudly in her chest. She’d normally have no problem with talking one on one with Veronica, but on this occasion she’d been caught off guard by her sudden appearance, John’s unexpected reaction, and the bizarre conversation she’d just had with the older woman. 

What do I tell John? 

Do I tell him what Veronica said? 

No! No...he cannot know about this, the fallout would be catastrophic…my life wouldn’t be worth living. I’ll have to call her tonight and put her straight, it’ll be embarrassing for both of us, but….it has to be done

There was an awkward atmosphere for the rest of the day, neither John or Libby being willing to bring up that afternoon's events from their own perspective. 

The car ride home was particularly excruciating for Libby with John making a half hearted and forced effort to engage her in inane small talk in an attempt to pass the time, (sign of a guilty conscience perhaps?) nattering away briefly about his latest exploits at the golf club, and how he was thinking of taking a trip in the summer to visit family in California. 

Still reeling from Veronica’s assumptions Libby felt physically sick, her stomach was churning like a washing machine, threatening to reacquaint her with her lunch. All she could bring herself to respond with was the odd “Oh right, that’s nice” and “Hmmm, I see” punctuated by a quiet admission that she’d never played golf before. Libby hadn’t suffered with travel sickness since she was a young child, but right now it was taking all her effort not to throw up. 

Things didn’t get much better back at the house. 

The strained conversation in the car had quickly fizzled out within 10 minutes and the pair had lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. On arriving home John exited the vehicle and carried Libby’s grocery bags inside and up to the apartment without a word, before returning for his own. Libby was left standing awkwardly in the hallway desperately trying to gain the man's attention. The last thing she wanted was to end the day on a sour note

The silence however was both deafening and unnerving. For some reason John was suddenly acting as if Libby wasn’t there, and not for the first time...

“John…?”

“....”

“Erm, John I just wanted to…”

Libby had to side step quickly to avoid John bumping into her as he abruptly brushed past, still ignoring all her questions. He seemed upset about something, which had come completely out of nowhere. The sulk he was obviously having didn’t seem to be winding down anytime soon. 

This is ridiculous, it’s like I’m being punished for something...what the hell am I supposed to have done...? Libby had no idea what had got John so riled up, beyond the sudden appearance of his ex, but that couldn’t be it, something else had to be going on...but John wasn’t giving much away. 

...Hold on...

Libby’s eyes went wide as a terrible thought suddenly occurred to her. It was enough to take her breath away and it stopped her in her tracks. 

...Oh no…god no, please...

Libby hadn’t seen where John had vanished to back at the store, and on being confronted suddenly with a happy smiley Veronica she hadn’t thought to check that he wasn’t within earshot. 

Damn

...,.John was listening wasn’t he? he must have heard us...oh shit…! No bloody wonder he’s acting so strange, he must be furious...especially when I didn’t say anything about it…

Libby feebly tried to convince herself it was unlikely; that he was too much of a gentleman to have been spying on them, lurking in the background like a coward, but it had to be the only explanation for John’s sudden change in behaviour. 

What a nightmare

Libby nervously nibbled at the skin on her thumb as she watched John potter around in the kitchen, putting his groceries away. His anger was evident as he slammed cupboard doors shut and roughly handled everything he touched. She stood still for a moment hovering by the doorway, biting her lip and wondered whether she should broach the subject, or continue to keep quiet. 

He’s mad at me, Libby thought helplessly with a frown, and with good reason too. I should have said something as soon as I had the chance. 

“John, I….” Libby attempted to break the silence but John beat her to it, looking directly at her with a blank expression and slightly moist eyes. His voice was flat and monotone. 

“I have some important personal business to attend to now, so I’d be grateful to not be disturbed for the rest of the day, unless there’s a genuine emergency...I’ll see you in the morning” 

Libby’s heart sank, John really was pissed off. She nodded numbly and watched with despair as John stalked away without a backward glance. Part of her wanted to go after him in order to clear the air, but she knew deep down that it wouldn't be wise. She’d known John long enough by now to know when to let things go, to let him stew and to let his bad moods wind down. 

All she could do for the moment was to give John some space, and hope that by the morning he was in a position to talk calmly. Previously, Libby would have had no problem with calling out any rude or suspect behaviour from him, however that had all been of his own doing. This time was exceptional, and needed to be handled delicately. 

Seeing as it was now gone 5pm, Libby decided to call it a day. She was weary, fed up and anxious. The only saving grace was that it was a Friday, so she had the whole weekend to attempt to fix the awkward situation she found herself in. First things first, call Veronica and put her straight…after a glass of wine of course. 

Libby trudged up to the apartment, pursing her lips at the stomach ache that had been developing all afternoon, induced by her growing anxiety and fear of the unknown. She pottered about for as long as possible, putting off the call she knew she had to make. She ran through the possible conversation in her head over and over, cringing at the likely outcome. 

Before she could completely lose her nerve, Libby took a deep breath, grabbed her phone and pressed dial. She waited a moment with baited breath, then felt herself deflate as the answer machine kicked in. Not wanting to leave a message, Libby was about to try again when she suddenly recalled Veronica saying she was having friends over that evening. That had put a spanner in the works 

Bugger it, I’ll have to try her again tomorrow morning then...definitely tomorrow...it’s probably best to let the dust settle a little anyway until then. 

Libby regarded her phone for a moment, weighing up her options. She still felt a little nervous, but now it was for a different reason. 

Shall I, shan’t I? Hmmm…I’ve put the guy off for long enough, he’ll think I’m not interested.

Libby drained her glass in one mouthful then decided it was time to make another call…

Fuck it, you only live once 

“Hello Christopher? It’s Libby, Libby Johnson...Harriet’s friend, yeah that’s right! Hi. Erm, sorry for the short notice, but are you free tomorrow night at all?”

………………………………………………………

John swiped a hand roughly across his eyes as he slumped in a seat at his desk downstairs. He wasn't proud of himself for the way he’d acted towards Libby that afternoon. He’d directed his upset and anger at the wrong person, it was his meddling ex wife who needed a good talking to.

It probably wasn’t the best time to give Veronica a call, given the mood he was in, but as far as he was concerned it simply couldn’t wait.

“Good evening, Tetzlaff residence?”

John hesitated for a second before speaking, the mention of his ex-wives former surname threw him off his stride somewhat. So she’s already gone back to her maiden name then? he thought sadly, that didn’t take long...

“Ronnie, it’s John. I need to talk to you” 

“Oh, hello John. Look, it’s not the best time right now, I have people over and we’ll be sitting down for dinner shortly, can I call you back tomorrow?”

“No you bloody can’t” John barked, “I don’t care if you have the Pope over for dinner. This is important” 

Veronica was taken aback by her ex’s tone “Well, there’s no need to be rude! Alright fine, but please make it quick though, what’s going on?”

“I want to know what the hell you’re playing at?” John demanded

“Excuse me?!” 

“You heard. I want to know why you’re spreading lies about me and Libby? That we’re dating. Where the hell did you get that from? What was it you said earlier today? I see the way he looks at you and it’s pretty clear he’s smitten? What on earth is wrong with you woman?!” 

“I beg your pardon?! How dare you speak to me like that. Besides, I’ve done no such thing John! I haven’t told a soul about the two of you, apart from Libby of course, it’s simply not my place to, you know me better than that”

“Oh don’t give me that bollox Ron, you know exactly what…hang on, you actually think that we’re dating?” John stared at the phone in disbelief

“...Well...you are, aren’t you? I honestly thought that you were John, which is absolutely fine by the way. Libby didn’t say otherwise” 

“No of course we’re not seeing each other, and Libby didn’t correct you because you didn’t give her a bloody chance to, she couldn’t get a word in edgeways!”

“...Oh, well...how embarrassing” Veronica laughed nervously, “That must have been an awkward conversation between you” 

“...We...haven’t actually discussed it yet” John admitted quietly

“You haven’t? But...I don’t understand John, how did you know about…” Veronica frowned in confusion, then the penny dropped, “You were spying on us weren’t you, listening in from afar, too cowardly to show your face?” 

“...I might have been listening in, yes...well can you blame me for not wanting to gate crash your little mother's meeting?” 

“Oh John...this is ridiculous. I’m sorry for making assumptions, I truly am. I didn’t mean any harm, but why didn’t you interrupt us and let me prattle on at Libby like that? The poor girl must have been mortified...goodness, I’m mortified!”

“I was...I was hoping that she would put you straight, and laugh it off...but never mind that, what on earth gave you the impression we were seeing each other in the first place Ron? It’s absurd!”

“Is it? I don’t see how it is. I mean, I’ve seen you in town together a lot recently and you’ve always acted like a normal everyday couple. You seem quite close, and I naturally assumed things had moved on from a simple working relationship into something more...well more intimate I suppose. It does happen you know”

“Christ sakes Ron, you are seeing things that simply are not there!” John lost his composure for a moment and thumped his fist against the desk in frustration. 

“Ok! Ok, consider me suitably chastised. I don’t know what you’re getting so upset about though, there’s no shame at all in being with a slightly younger woman, and Libby does seem ideal for you, she’s so mature and intelligent”

“Slightly younger? The age gap is almost 25 years!...Gods sake…I can’t believe we’re having this conversation…this is wrong on so many levels”

“John, you’re blowing this out of all proportion. I made a mistake, I admit that, but no harm has been done. Look I really do have to go now, before my guests come looking for me. Why don’t I come round tomorrow and we can talk about this calmly over a cup of tea, once you’ve had a chance to calm down and sleep on it?”

John sighed deeply, the sulk he absolutely was not having was starting to slowly wind down. However, Veronica wasn’t right in that no harm had been done, unfortunately for John the thought of what it might be like to actually date Libby was now planted in his head, and it was proving impossible to shake it off.

“...Yeah, yeah...alright fine...There’s erm, some financial and legal stuff that I want to go through with you anyway, it shouldn’t take too long. Make it 3pm though, I’ll be out all morning” 

“No problem at all, I’ll see you tomorrow John, let me know if I need to bring anything”

A shotgun perhaps? John thought ruefully, to put me out of my misery...

John let his head fall back against the headrest, and he stared wearily up at the ceiling. One of these days things would start going right for him, and would stay that way. He would have to wait a bit longer unfortunately until lady luck chose to pay him a visit. 

……………………………………………………

Libby hadn’t felt this nervous in months. She hadn’t been on a proper date in what felt like years, and she was feeling a little rusty and out of practice. 

She’d finally given in and agreed to meet with her best friend's cousin Christopher, despite her misgivings. The guy was well known among her circle of friends, for all the wrong reasons though, and that had for a bit put her off. His reputation most definitely preceded him, yet Libby felt it was only fair to give the man a chance, and see for herself with her own eyes if he really was so bad. 

With the previous days events still fresh in her mind Libby kept a low profile for most of the day, pottering about in the apartment. Cleaning, dusting, going through her wardrobe, anything to take her mind off things. She’d arranged to meet Chris at a bar in the West End for a drink, a relatively quiet establishment that Libby knew well, with staff who could be trusted to help her out if anything should go wrong. When it came to first dates, she knew you could never be too careful. 

At 5pm Libby was ready to go, decked out in a simple skinny jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket combo. Casual, but enough to show she’d made an effort. She wasn’t confident at all that the date would lead to anything, but still wanted to show the guy some respect. 

Libby headed downstairs to wait for her taxi, intending to leave a note for John as to her whereabouts, but she didn’t need to, as the man just happened to appear at the door to the kitchen bearing two mugs of tea as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Hi John, I was just going to leave you a note. I’m heading out for the evening, I shouldn’t be back too late though” Feeling brave, Libby gestured at the mugs John was holding and attempted a lighthearted joke, “Feeling thirsty were we? I would take one off your hands but my taxi will be here any minute!”

“....”

Libby frowned as John stayed silent, looking for all the world as if he’d just seen a ghost. She was then startled by the sound of a familiar voice...again…it was like sodding Groundhog Day 

“John? Did you manage to find...oh! Hello Libby dear!”

A comedic moment of silence followed as no one seemed to know what to say. The air crackled with tension, with raised eyebrows and awkward looks all round. Despite living under the same roof, it was obvious that John hadn’t expected Libby to appear just then, he was like a rabbit caught in the headlights. 

The sudden blast of a car horn from outside broke the spell everyone seemed to be under, it made Libby jump and John almost dropped his mugs in surprise. 

“...Well that’s me...best be off then”

“Oh that’s a shame” Veronica lamented, “I was hoping we could have a catch up, another time perhaps. Off anywhere nice?”

John who was still yet to say a single word, glared at his ex warningly. 

“...Yes, I erm, I have a date. I’m meeting someone for a drink in town” 

Libby could have sworn she saw John’s face fall at the mention of a date, why would he be upset about that? 

“A date! How lovely!” Veronica smiled, “So...who’s the lucky fella? Or lass?” She added with a wink.

Bloody hell…

“...Well, I….”

“The tea’s getting cold Ron, come on” John interrupted, walking back towards the basement without a backward glance.

Well this isn’t awkward at all…

“...Right, well I erm really must be off now, my taxi won’t wait much longer…it was nice seeing you again Veronica”

“Libby, before you go my dear...I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. I was out of line and shouldn’t have put you in that position...John has explained everything. Now go and enjoy your date, I hope you have a lovely time”

Libby was stunned, John beat me to it...he did hear us at the store then...shit, and I forgot to call Veronica this morning as well.

“Thank you, Veronica...I’m sorry too, I should have been honest with you myself...well, erm have a good evening too”

“Nonsense dear” Veronica smiled warmly, “Don’t you worry about it, and don’t worry about John either, he’ll be alright. Now go!”

Libby got herself comfortable in the back of the taxi for the short ride into the West End, and mulled over her brief interaction with John and Veronica. The older woman, as always, had been warm and understanding, but John...well, he seemed deeply unhappy for some reason. Libby hadn’t missed the crestfallen look on his face at being told she was out that night on a date. If she didn’t know any better she’d think he was jealous, but why? He didn’t want to date her himself did he? 

No...the idea was ridiculous, of course it was. 

Libby chuckled to herself, putting that thought to the back of her mind, instead she mentally prepared herself for meeting the infamous cousin of her best friend. Despite her reservations about the guy she was quietly optimistic. She was meeting him for one drink, maybe two...what could possibly go wrong? 

………………………………………………

Well that was two hours of my life I’ll never get back, Libby thought glumly as she made a beeline for the nearest Burger King. 

After the evening she’d had she was in desperate need of some greasy comfort food, and a strong coffee. She was cold, wet, fed up and ravenously hungry. Junk food was rarely on the menu for her these days, but right now she didn’t give a toss. She was more concerned with trying to forget her disastrous date, consoling her loudly rumbling tummy, and taking refuge from the sudden downpour she found herself caught in. 

That was worth every single calorie. 

Libby sighed happily, scrunching up the wrapper from her Chicken Royale and large fries. She knew she’d had to work twice as hard the next day to work it off, but it really had hit the spot. She sat quietly for a while, sipping at her coffee whilst indulging in some people watching, keeping an eye out for the odd B-list celebrity. This part of town was well known for being a popular hang-out for washed up soap and reality TV stars. 

Libby was thinking about making a move back home when her cell phone sparked into life, Harriet was calling, no doubt wanting to hear all the gruesome details of her evening. 

“So how did it go then?!” Harriet demanded excitedly 

“Terrible”

“...What? Why? What happened? It can’t have been that bad?”

“Haz, it was a disaster. Two hours of my life I’ll never get back”

“You’re exaggerating a bit aren’t you?” 

“No I’m not. You clearly don’t know your cousin as well as you think. The guy is a twat! He spent the entire date either talking about himself or trying to pull the waitress...I didn’t get a look in, and his dress sense is appalling”

“...He’s an eccentric sort, I’ll give you that...well I’m sorry it didn’t go that well...maybe he was just nervous?”

“Don’t make me laugh, nervous indeed, he was far from it! Look, I’m sorry to be so blunt but the guy is a total berk, just like I thought he would be”

“How rude! It really isn’t fair to judge someone after just one date you know…”

“Haz, stop. I’ve seen and experienced enough, one more date isn’t going to change my mind. I love you, I really do but this was never going to work ok, so please let it go”

“...Alright, alright...I’ll admit Chris can be an acquired taste”

You can say that again…

Harriet sighed sadly, before suddenly perking up “So, what’s next then?....Oooh! I think there might be a guy at the office who’s currently not seeing anyone…”

For god's sake

“No! No, thank you but no. I’ve...I’ve signed up to Tinder…”

“You haven’t?! Oh I am disappointed”

“You’re only pissed that I won’t let you play matchmaker for me anymore! admit it”  
“...I just want you to be safe that’s all” Harriet admitted quietly 

Libby was touched by her friend's concern, “I’ll be careful, I promise. I’ll thoroughly vet anyone who catches my eye, and I’ll always let you know if I meet up with them and where I’m going...alright?”

“That’s all I ask my love, that you stay safe. Do you want to come over?” 

It was tempting, but Libby knew only too well that she’d probably end up drinking the night away, sobbing over her failed love life before having to crash at Harriet's place for the night without a change of clothes, she didn’t particularly fancy a walk of shame the next morning, or John assuming she’d pulled and had a one night stand. 

“No, no that’s ok thanks. I’m just gonna head home now I think and have an early night. I need to save my energy for all that online dating I’m going to be doing!”

“Alright my love, take care and I’m sorry again about Chris. I’ll kick his arse for you next time I see him”

Libby had to laugh at that, Harriet always knew how to cheer her up in her own unique way. Now all she had to do was track down a taxi, easier said than done at 9pm on a Saturday night in the West End. 

……………………………………………

“Right, well I think that’s everything thanks” John gathered up the papers in front of him, before taking a final swig from his now almost cold mug of tea. “I’ll get these filed with my lawyer and get a copy sent to yours” 

Whilst Libby had been out for the evening, John had insisted on going through any lingering financial and legal papers leftover from the divorce. They only needed a signature here and there but John had managed to drag it out to avoid addressing a much more pressing issue between them. 

“No problem at all, I’ll get these washed up” Veronica collected their mugs and headed to the kitchen, wanting to give John a moment before addressing the proverbial elephant in the room. He followed a few minutes later, hovering in the doorway. Hoping that Veronica would take the hint and leave, unfortunately for him though she could be just as stubborn when she wanted something. 

“...Right, well I’ll let you get on then Ron, it’s getting late now and Libby will be back soon...”

“...John, come and sit down. Please. I want to ask you something” Veronica took a seat at the kitchen table and looked at the man expectantly. 

I bet I know where this is going 

“Ron, can’t we do this another time please? I’m too tired right now”

“No, John we can’t” Veronica replied softly but firmly, “This is important. Please, come sit. I’m not going to bite!”

John hesitated for a moment before shuffling over to take a seat opposite, he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to enjoy this conversation, not one bit. 

“So…”

“...So...about what happened yesterday” Veronica pressed

“Ron, forget it. Please. There’s nothing to discuss”

“I think there is. I saw the look on your face when Libby said she was going on a date tonight, it was pretty clear that it upset you”

John felt his face flush red with embarrassment, “Don’t be daft, of course I’m not bothered, why would I be?” 

“You like her don’t you?” 

“....”

“John?”

“....Well...of course, I mean, she’s an excellent assistant, I don’t know what I’d do without her to be honest…” John trailed off, staring at his hands

Veronica reached across the table and placed a gentle hand on his forearm, “You like her, don’t you? Not just as your assistant, it’s more than that” 

John couldn’t look Veronica in the eye, he’d been called out and didn’t like it one little bit, by his ex-wife of all people. He couldn’t get angry, as she was right. He did like Libby, very much so, and the thought of her out dating other men was heartbreaking. 

“...I can’t believe we’re having this conversation” John whispered

“I really don’t see what the problem is? You’re both adults. Libby’s a grown woman not a teenager” 

“Ronnie” John sighed, “Libby is my assistant...and as I mentioned last night she’s a good twenty five years younger than me...what makes you think she’d be interested in dating me when she could have her pick of any fit young man out there? She’s probably arranging her next date as we speak” 

Veronica regarded her ex husband with sympathy. It was no secret that he had lost confidence in himself and his appearance in recent years, the stress of some major events in his life had sadly helped accelerate the aging process, along with his 20 a day cigarette habit. 

“Don’t put yourself down John please, you’re too good at doing that”

“I’ve had good reason too lately” John replied sadly, “I...I just don’t understand how you’re ok with this Ron? How have you moved on so quickly? Did our marriage mean that little to you?”

“Of course not John, I don’t regret our marriage at all, not one bit. We’ve had some wonderful, beautiful times together which I will treasure forever, but now we have to be realistic. There’s no point in dwelling on what might have been, and crying over our separation, we both know it was for the best. You deserve to be happy, and if that means starting a new relationship then so be it, you have my blessing. I’d like to think you’d be happy with me doing the same one day?” 

“We had a good run didn’t we?” John replied quietly, “It wasn’t all bad” 

“It wasn’t bad at all” Veronica agreed with moist eyes, “I think the children would say the same” 

“John, there’s no guarantee that Libby would be interested in dating you, I understand that, but...if anything were to happen between the two of you, I certainly will not stand in your way. She’s a treasure, and If I were you I’d get in there and snap her up quick!”

“...Bloody hell Ron…”

“I mean it! If she turns you down then you’ve lost nothing, but if you ignore how you feel and let her get away, you may regret it forever”

“I don’t think I can do it Ron, I don’t think I could take it if she rejected me”

“Well unfortunately that’s a risk you’ll have to take, if you really do like her then isn’t it worth it? Take it slow with her, so you don’t scare her off. Talk to her, really talk to her. Get to know her as a person and take it from there. Offer to make her dinner one evening, or join her during a coffee break?”

“You make it sound so easy…” 

“It’s not, it’s not easy at all. But you’ve done it before and it worked on me!”

John finally looked up, surprised at the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. He’d finally admitted to both his former wife and more importantly to himself that he had real feelings for Libby. It was a huge breakthrough for him, and a step that had been emotional and painful to take. Now all he had to do was act on those feelings, without making a pigs ear of it. 

The next few weeks were going to be very interesting


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, hope you're all safe and well 
> 
> Here is chapter 16, which features a major breakthrough in the story...
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> As ever, comments are very much appreciated and welcome

I need to shape up, no woman on Earth let alone Libby would be interested in this 

John regarded his reflection in his bathroom mirror, cocking his head and grabbing at his stomach with both hands. He’d been relatively slim and slender since his teens thanks to constantly being on the go; either touring, recording or running after his children. He wasn’t able to hold off the onset of middle age spread though when he hit his late 50’s. Watching his waistline gradually soften and expand as the years went by, helped along by his retirement, his children all eventually moving out and his love of chocolate biscuits. 

It hadn’t been an issue for a while; bringing up his youngest children, fending off teenage tantrums, dealing with his ever growing finances and trying to save his ailing marriage had all been far more important. Now though...well...John had finally been convinced after some persuasion that his feelings for Libby were valid, and that he should act on them sooner rather than later. However, he wasn’t feeling all that confident or comfortable in himself of late. How was he meant to woo his assistant when he himself wasn’t sure of his own worth? 

To be fair John was hardly obese, he looked pretty good for his age if you discounted his deep wrinkles and almost bald head. He maintained his shapely legs thanks to hours spent regularly on the golf course, and the odd game of football in the park with his grandchildren. He’d couldn’t deny though that he did have a bit of a paunch, a somewhat saggy middle that no amount of teeing off could fix. It was common for men of his age, that was true, but it wasn’t a good look for someone wanting to attract a member of the opposite sex. 

Something had to be done

John briefly considered joining the local gym, then countered that Libby was most likely a member so that was a no go, not to mention he’d probably stand out like a sore thumb amongst the much younger, and fitter, clientele. He ran through a list of potential options in his head, none of which really got his pulse racing but he knew that some form of exercise was unfortunately a necessary evil. 

May as well do this properly, John thought to himself with a sigh whilst booting up his computer. He settled down with a large mug of tea and began researching what was on offer nearby, and more importantly, what would be suitable for someone of his advancing years and fitness level (or lack of). There was little point in throwing himself into a fun looking activity to only end up with a slipped disc or worse. John knew his body and his own limitations. 

After a good couple of hours of searching online, John pushed his glasses back up his nose and leaned back in his chair deep in thought. He’d resigned himself to the fact he needed to exercise, but didn’t want to draw attention to himself whilst doing it. He didn’t relish the thought of candid photos of him working up a sweat appearing in the papers. It was most probably unlikely to happen, but he’d developed a deep dislike and distrust of the press in recent years and wouldn’t put it past them. 

Glancing around his studio, it occurred to John that he had the ideal space to set up a little workout area, somewhere private and quiet where he could bend and stretch to his heart's content without being seen. If he shifted things about a bit he could even squeeze in a treadmill or elliptical trainer. 

My own little private gym…

John wondered why he hadn’t considered it before, it wasn’t like he’d never had the space. 

Better late than never. 

By the end of the day John had a plan, with a rough schedule of workouts and a list of the equipment he’d need. He’d settled on walking, which he was used to anyway, some gentle static cycling, and yoga to increase his flexibility, all fitted in around his regular golf sessions. 

Then there was the subject of gardening...which John knew could also help towards an active lifestyle, but the thought of it hardly set his world on fire. He’d left maintenance of his substantial outside space to Veronica in the past, not being green fingered himself at all. Letting her have her way with it, and being content instead to sit back and enjoy the results. 

John now employed a professional gardener to visit on a semi regular basis, but apart from that never bothered with any upkeep himself. He’d simply never been interested. Perhaps now was an opportune time to reacquaint himself with the great outdoors, and get some weeding and planting done? He’d have to be careful though, he’d seen reports in the press recently of an old friend who’d suffered an unfortunate mishap whilst tending to his begonias and put himself in hospital. John did not want to go the same way. 

The embarrassment and teasing from his children would be excruciating, far worse than any injury. 

John didn’t miss the quizzical look on Libby’s face when his shiny new treadmill and static bike were delivered a week later. He hadn’t been able to avoid her seeing them arrive, but somehow blagged his way into making her believe they were pieces of equipment for his personal studio. Libby didn’t question him further thankfully, somehow the thought of her knowing about his plans to shape up made him feel a little queasy. 

All John had to do now was stop procrastinating and put his plan into action. Getting started was difficult but whenever he felt his motivation fade he reminded himself why he was doing this, and what the potential rewards could be. If things went his way for once then the end result could be life changing. 

Life changing...it was a scary prospect in a lot of ways, but John knew deep down despite his niggling reservations at times that it would ultimately be worth it. 

…………………………………………………

If John thought that getting to know his assistant more intimately was going to be simple he was sorely mistaken. With his ex-wives words ringing in his ears, he began the difficult and at times downright awkward task of attempting to get to know Libby better, to find out more about her as a person and what made her tick. It was something John wasn’t used to, but he knew this was the only way he would have even a remote chance of the two of them getting closer, let alone become an item. 

John’s hesitance and frequent shyness unfortunately weren’t the only obstacles in his way. To his disappointment Libby was newly active on the dating scene, and would spend her weekends heading into town and beyond to meet with potential suitors, occasionally spending the night away from home which only served to further fuel his jealousy. John’s mind went into overdrive at what Libby might be getting up to on her dates, convincing himself that each time she would meet The One, and his chances of dating her himself would be over. 

It was incredibly difficult to keep a lid on his jealousy, and risk it influencing his behaviour. John had to bite his tongue and do something that was completely alien to him, speak to and act around Libby like more of a friend. Someone she could trust and open up to, in order to get to know her better. Initially interactions between the two were limited to office talk, and brief chats about Libby’s plans for the weekends. John only knew she was dating as she’d been sensible enough to inform him of her whereabouts when she headed out for the night in case anything went wrong, and so he wouldn’t worry. 

Beyond that Libby seemed reluctant to talk about herself, and even a little cagey at times. It was frustrating for John, but he knew he had to be patient and resist the urge to push for more. His patience seemed to pay off after a while when one afternoon he came across Libby rooting around in the main kitchen. She appeared to be looking for something which John found a little strange, seeing as she had a fully functional kitchenette in her office. 

Play it cool John, don’t say anything you might regret...

Libby turned with a start on hearing John enter the room behind her, looking a little like a kid who’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. John had to fight hard to stop a smirk from spreading across his face. 

“...Oh, hi John..how are you?”

“Good..yes, good thanks...how is your er, day going?”

“Good! Yes, very good thank you...do you need anything?”

“No no, I’m fine, I just came up for a break and some tea. Can I get you one?”

“...Oh, erm that would be lovely thanks...I was here for the same reason actually...” Libby tailed off with a guilty look on her face. 

“...Is there a problem?” John asked innocently

“Oh god, this is a bit awkward..but I erm, well I’ve run out of tea bags, and I was hoping you might have some here as I’m gasping for a cuppa...sorry, I should have asked first”

“I see...well don’t worry, it’s not a problem” John smiled before adding with a light chuckle, “Perhaps the next time you go shopping though you should invest in an industrial sized pack of tea bags, it might last a couple of days longer?” 

“Point taken” Libby agreed, taking a seat at the kitchen table as John pottered about putting the kettle on. 

There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes as John prepared a pot of tea, taking the time to set the table properly. He wanted to encourage Libby to stay and chat with him for a while. 

“There you go, just the one sugar wasn’t it?” John handed Libby her a mug with a small smile

“Yes, thanks very much...oooh! You’ve got custard creams too. I’ll have you know that these are without a doubt, the best biscuits on Earth” 

John smiled as Libby dived into the biscuit tin and happily munched away after giving her favourite sweet treat a good dunking. He made a mental note to file that information away for future reference. It may well come in handy one day. 

“...So…do you have much planned for the rest of the day John?”

“Oh nothing much really, I actually have some time to myself for once” John took a long sip of his tea, before making a brave attempt to change the subject” 

“...You’re doing a good job you know, a very good job” 

Libby looked up in surprise, it wasn’t all that often she received unsolicited praise from John for her work. 

“Thank you, that’s...good to know, honestly. I like to think that I’m making a difference” 

“Oh you are, believe me” John nodded, “Very much so, especially when you’ve had to put up with me and my god awful moods…”

Libby smiled wryly to herself, you’re not wrong there…

“It’s not always been easy for you, so I understand. I’ve dealt with plenty of different types of manager in my time, and believe me you’re far from the worst” 

“I know we didn’t have the best of starts in our working relationship, but I think, well...at least I hope, that it’s getting better?”

“It is” Libby nodded sincerely, “I’m still here after all!” 

Neither John or Libby said anything for a moment, quietly sipping at their tea and doing their best to resist eating all the custard creams. The atmosphere for once wasn’t strained or awkward though, it was relaxed and comfortable. So comfortable in fact that John felt brave enough to bring up a subject he would never have done so before. 

“Ronnie was right you know, she was right all along. I do need someone to look after me”

“She’s a remarkable woman” Libby agreed

John drained his mug of tea and let his gaze wander over to the view of the garden, watching the rain patter against the window. 

“She was right about our marriage too, no matter how much I wanted to deny it. It ended years ago to be honest, we stopped loving each other a long long time ago...and now, she needs and deserves to start afresh and make a life of her own” 

“I can only imagine how painful it’s been for you John, but now you also deserve to make a life for yourself”

“I know” John sighed, “You’re right, Ronnie was right, but I’m a creature of habit, and some habits are very hard to break. My children know that only too well, but they do their best to steer me in the right direction”

“It’s wonderful that you have such a loving and supportive family around you. I’m a little envious to tell you the truth”

“Do you erm, do you not have much family then?...if that’s not too personal a question?”

“No, no it’s fine. I have my Mother and my Sister, but they’re both in Cornwall so I don’t get to see them very much. My erm, my Dad died when I was very young, so I don’t remember much about him sadly” 

“...I’m sorry to hear that, I..I lost my Father too when I was a child, it’s erm, something that never really leaves you” 

Libby simply responded with a sad smile, she was touched that John had opened up so much to her and spoken about a subject that was clearly still sore for him. 

“Anyway, so...changing the subject...forgive me if this is a bit too personal, but erm...have you had much luck on the dating scene lately, any nice young gentlemen caught your eye?”

Libby snorted, before coughing harshly at the tea that had gone up her nose. She wasn’t expecting such a personal question, but had to admire the brass balls on the man for asking. 

“Oh christ, I’m sorry...just ignore me…” John was mortified at Libby’s reaction thinking he had gone too far. 

“It’s fine, absolutely fine, don’t apologise, you just caught me off guard that’s all. There have been a few guys yes, but...sadly most of them certainly do not qualify as gentlemen, and never will”

“Ah, I see…” John didn’t need to probe any further, he had an idea what Libby was getting at. 

“But...saying that, I have met a guy recently who seems to have potential”

Shit 

That wasn’t supposed to happen 

“That’s good…” John nodded slowly, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice. 

“At least he seems genuine enough, and good fun...so we’ll see. I’m keeping an open mind. I’m seeing him this weekend actually”

“Right...of course, well just erm...be careful that’s all, though I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that”

“Absolutely” Libby replied brightly, “Well, thank you for this, it’s been really nice to have a proper break and a chat. We should do this more often”

John forced a smile on his face, and watched sadly as Libby headed back to work for the afternoon. 

Would it be so terrible of him to hope and pray that Libby’s forthcoming date would be a disaster?

………………………………………………

John flinched at the sudden sound of the front door being aggressively slammed shut. He glanced at his watch and frowned, it was only 8pm. He hadn’t expected Libby to be home so soon, and was a little annoyed at being disturbed. He’d not long settled down with a substantial book he’d been wanting to read for a while, and with Libby out for the night he thought it the perfect time to get started. 

There was always something. 

John attempted once more to settle and get back to his book, but was distracted again by a strange noise coming from the direction of the hallway. With his ears pricked up John listened, straining to hear what was going on. After a moment he got up slowly and gingerly edged towards the door which he’d left slightly ajar earlier. 

As he got closer the noise grew louder and clearer, his eyes went wide as he realised it was Libby. She was crying loudly, and seemed to be greatly distressed. What on earth had happened?

John was about to go check on her when Libby’s cell phone rang, and she answered after a brief moment's hesitation. The conversation that followed was clearly not a pleasant one. John silently stood stock still, peering through the gap in the door watching and listening as Libby angrily stalked up and down the hall, half sobbing, half screaming at her unwanted caller. 

He caught snippets of the conversation amongst Libby’s near hysterical sobs….You’re just like all the others…don’t lie to me you bastard, I saw you...yes I did, I bloody well saw you both....you must think I’m a right mug...I must have idiot stamped on my forehead....oh don’t give me that…just do me a favour and fuck off!...don’t you dare contact me again...

Jesus.

John was stunned, whatever had happened this evening, Libby’s night had not been a good one. He’d never seen or heard her so upset. His initial reaction was to back off and give Libby some space, but he knew deep down he couldn’t ignore this, and let her go upstairs without knowing she was ok, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. 

“...Libby?” John ventured out into the hallway, and approached her cautiously, “...is...everything alright?”

Libby jumped at the sound of John’s voice and quickly turned to face him, scrambling to shove her phone back in her purse. She wiped her hands across her eyes, smearing further her already ruined makeup. She looked awful, completely broken and vulnerable. 

Libby didn’t reply to John’s questions for a moment, she was breathing heavily, eyes wide. Looking for all the world like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She was trembling and struggling to stop her tears from falling again. Struggling to regain control. 

“Libby?”

“...Please John, don’t...please. I...I’m sorry I disturbed you. It won’t happen again. Goo..goodnight” 

Libby turned to walk away, holding a hand over her mouth to muffle her laboured breathing. All she wanted right now was to be alone. To get blind drunk and forget about her godawful evening. John however wasn’t about to let her be. 

“Libby, I need to know you’re ok” John pleaded softly, “You don’t have to tell me what happened tonight, but I need to know that you’re alright” 

“...I’m fine…please John, just leave it” Libby squeaked before bounding up the stairs two at a time, she was desperate to get to the safety and sanctuary of her apartment, but in her haste she stumbled, catching her heel. She fell forward with a shocked cry, collapsing in a sobbing heap on the landing.

Having witnessed all this John flew up the stairs to check Libby hadn’t hurt herself. He crouched down to her level, fighting the urge to wipe away a stray tear from her eye. 

“Libby, please tell me what's going on...you’re clearly not fine” 

Libby’s bottom lip wobbled as all the fight drained out of her, “I’m such a mess, look at me, crying over a man like a sodding teenager. I thought I’d found a good one this time, I really did, but no…he had to go and ruin it” 

John couldn’t help feeling a little thrill at the thought of Libby now being free and single again, maybe he did stand a chance after all. He would have to play this carefully though, and resist taking advantage of Libby’s vulnerable state. 

“Can I get you anything?” 

Libby shook her head, still looking utterly miserable. It broke John’s heart to see her so upset. If he could, he’d track down the poor excuse for a man who’d clearly treated her so awfully and teach him a lesson he’d never forget. 

“At least let me help you up, it looks like you took quite a tumble”

Libby hesitated a moment, then gingerly reached out and took the hand that John was offering. John’s grip was strong and he easily took her weight, helping her up and back on her feet. For a moment Libby wondered if she’d done herself an injury as her ankle twinged as she stood. She tried to ignore it but the wince on her face and sudden limp gave the game away. 

“Come on” John suggested gently, “Let’s get you inside, and that foot looked at” 

Libby grimaced and rolled her eyes, the last thing she wanted right now was John fawning over her. What she needed was a hot bath and a stiff drink. It would have been rude though to shake him off, so she gave in and allowed John to help her into the apartment, leaning heavily on his arm. 

Once safely inside, John deposited Libby on a chair at the kitchen table and rooted around in the freezer for some ice. He wrapped a bag of frozen peas in a tea towel, then prompted Libby to raise her leg up to get a good look at her injury. The obvious swelling and redness were not a good sign. 

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a nice sprain there” John observed quietly as he gently and hesitantly rolled the leg of Libby's jeans up, took off her shoe and pressed the wrapped bag of frozen veg against her skin. “...How, erm, how does that feel?” 

Libby couldn’t look John in the eye, “Yeah, it...it feels good, much better...thanks” 

“You’ll erm, need to hold this there for as long as you can bear it, and err...keep it elevated as much as possible”

There was something oddly intimate about the situation, with a slight awkwardness too. Libby felt completely exposed with her bare leg on display, and a little uncomfortable initially at being with John in such close quarters. She didn’t really know what to say beyond a muttered thanks. She then flinched in surprise as John gently took her hand and moved to place it over her injury. 

There was a simmering sexual tension in the air as the gap between them closed, John was now close enough that Libby could breath in his scent, an intoxicating and oddly soothing mixture of old fashioned cologne and cigarettes. It made her head spin. Her heart was thumping loudly in her chest and she suddenly felt rather hot and bothered. 

Get a hold of yourself Libs...

The tension came to a head when John looked up and locked eyes with Libby briefly after tending to her foot. They stared at each other silently for a moment, with lips parted. It occurred to Libby then for the first time how handsome John’s face actually was. She already considered him attractive after seeing him half naked only weeks earlier, but now on seeing his face up close she could also appreciate his beautiful grey/green eyes that sparkled with intensity, and the cutest little gap between his front teeth. 

Libby could feel John’s breath, he was now that close to her, which only served to fuel the rapidly building arousal in her belly. She was in dangerous territory now. She’d been dating recently in an attempt to distract herself from her growing feelings towards John, assuming that given time she’d find someone good enough to help her forget, but instead to her chagrin, her experiences had largely been disastrous. 

Libby seemed to have a knack for attracting what she called wronguns, guys who simply wanted a bit of fun and nothing more, were only after a one night stand or who were so downright dull that she found her mind wandering. Libby was longing for intelligent conversation, to have her mind stimulated as well as her body. She’d had her fill of pretty boys, clothes horses and city bankers over the years, the sort who flashed the cash to cover up their lack of personality. 

Now? Now Libby wanted and needed more, she desired a particular type of person, a complex character she could really get to grips with...a man whose intellect and character were even more important than their looks. 

That person was John. 

Before she could lose her nerve Libby made an attempt to move her injured leg and stand up, but made a hash of it and almost toppled over again. John moved quickly to stop her from falling and the pair ended up in a half embrace, gripping each other's forearms. John opened his mouth to say something but Libby silenced him by surging forward to press her lips to his. To her surprise John melted into the kiss allowing Libby to snake a hand around the back of his neck and pull him closer. 

After what felt like an eternity, but was actually only just a few seconds, reality crashed over Libby and she quickly pulled back from John as if she’d been burned. Her hands flew to her mouth in shock and she shuddered at the enormity of what she’d just done. The brief kiss had been incredible, but would no doubt cost her dearly. 

“...Oh god...John...I, I’m so sorry…”

John looked equally shocked but did his best to try and calm the situation.

“...It’s...it’s ok, it’s ok Libby...please don’t worry…you’ve done nothing wrong...”

Before John could utter another word, Libby grabbed her purse and legged it as fast as her bashed up ankle would let her. She made a beeline for the bedroom and quickly locked the door behind her. John was left standing in the middle of the kitchen wondering what the hell had just happened. 

Breathing heavily, John sagged against the kitchen table before brushing his fingers lightly across his lips. The memory of the all too brief kiss was now etched into his brain. It had been electric and everything that John had imagined a kiss from Libby would be like. There was now the question though of what had triggered it? John was aroused, confused and in a state of shock. Had Libby kissed him just because she wanted some comfort in the heat of the moment, or was she actually attracted to him? 

John suspected with a sinking feeling that was a question he may never well get the answer to.

……………………………………

“Haz, I’m in big trouble” Libby sobbed quietly down the phone, her tears free flowing again, and now staining her shirt, “...I need your help” 

“What on earth is going on my love?! What’s happened? Are you ok?”

“...I went to see Shaun tonight...we’d arranged to have a few drinks in town and then see how we felt after…” 

“Libby...what happened?” Harriet was almost too afraid to ask.

“....”

“...He...he hasn’t hurt you has he?” Harriet pleaded, “Please tell me you’re ok?”

“No, god no...he didn’t touch me”

Harriet breathed a sigh of relief and waited for Libby to continue. 

“...I thought this time was different Haz, we were getting on so well. We were having such a great time...at least I thought we were…”

“I’m listening sweetheart, go on”

“I, well...I was a little early for our date, so I got out of the cab a few streets away and went for a walk. I then erm, thought I’d nab us a table, get the first round in you know. But when I got there, I saw him...I saw him outside with another woman…she was all over him...and he was kissing her”

“Oh shit...what an arsehole, I’m so sorry darling” Harriet felt her heart break for her friend, she knew herself only too well how painful it was to be cheated on. 

“I was so shocked I just stood there watching them, watching them grope each other...it didn’t seem real”

Harriet was furious, absolutely raging on her friends behalf, wanting to go and slap the guy into the middle of next week. Just when it looked like Libby finally had some good luck in the romance department, of course it had to go tits up. Life really could be a bitch at times. 

“Where are you at the moment sweetheart? Are you safe?”

“Yeah, I’m ok” Libby whispered in a wobbly voice, “I’m at home”

Thank god for small mercies 

“How did you leave things with Shaun my love? Did you speak to him?” 

“Not at the time no” Libby sniffed, “I should have gone and kicked his arse, but I...I couldn’t do it...I just left and came straight home, I feel like such a coward”

“Hey! No, no no no, he’s the coward Libs, not you, alright? He’s not worth it”

“Yeah...you’re right, he knows how I feel though. He must have seen me leave because he tried calling shortly after, and wouldn’t let up. I answered when I got back home and told him where to go, of course he denied it all” 

“Good for you darling, I hope you ripped him a new one” 

“Something like that..” Libby chuckled quietly. Her tears had now dried up, but in their place was the start of a banging headache. 

Harriet had relaxed slightly at hearing her friend sounding a lot less distressed, but something still wasn’t right. She sensed that a dodgy date wasn’t the only thing that had gone wrong this evening. 

“...Libs hun, erm...is there something else going on that you want to tell me? You said, well...you said that you were in trouble”   
Libby sighed sadly, deeply regretting her choice of words earlier. She’d been in such a state that her mouth had run away with her, and now there was no taking it back. She knew that Harriet wouldn’t be fobbed off with a lame excuse, the two women had known each other far too long for that, she would have to come clean...this was going to be painful. 

Right, here goes. The moment my best friend disowns me out of disgust. 

“...I...oh christ, I can’t lie to you Haz. I’ve been a right idiot, and now my life is over”

“You what?” Harriet was confused, “What on earth are you talking about love? You just found a rotten apple that’s all, we’ve all done it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of”

“No...I know, look...it’s not about the date…” Libby took a deep breath, and braced herself to reveal the whole sorry saga, “When I got home this evening I was in a bit of a state, not helped by that twat Shaun constantly ringing me. I erm…I answered and had a bit of a slanging match with him. It got heated and of course my boss was home and overheard it all…”

“He hasn’t fired you has he?! because that would be illegal, not to mention completely immoral”

It amazed Libby how Harriets mind worked sometimes. 

“What? No! No...it’s...actually worse than that…”

“What on earth could be any worse than potentially losing your job?”

“...I kissed him” Libby blurted out.

“....”

It was a good job Libby couldn’t see Harriet right now, because if she could she’d be dismayed by her stunned expression, and to be honest who could really blame her?

“Haz?”

“...I...you...you kissed your boss?”

Libby nodded sadly, then remembered that Harriet couldn’t see her, “Yeah, I’ve fucked up Haz, and I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do now...I’ll have to quit and move out, I’ll be homeless, I can’t kick my tenant out of my flat, he has a lease for a whole year...this is a disaster!” 

“Woah! woah woah woah...slow down my love, alright. Take a deep breath for me and relax ok? Tell me what happened, take your time” 

“Well...as I said my boss overheard my argument with Shaun, I took his call whilst still downstairs in the hallway. It was stupid of me I know, I should have waited until I was out of earshot but I was so angry at seeing his number keep coming up on my phone...”

“It’s ok, go on” Harriet urged softly. 

“...He came out to see what was going on, can’t blame him really. I was so embarrassed I ran up the stairs but I missed the top step and went arse over tit. I ended up sitting there crying my eyes out with a sprained ankle”

Harriet tried desperately not to laugh, she knew it wasn’t funny at all, but the image of her best friend stacking it would never not be amusing. 

“Should have gone to Spec Savers?” Harriet teased gently which made Libby laugh.

“...Yeah, something like that…”

“So what happened next?” 

“...Well...” Libby sighed, “To cut a very long story short, he helped me up and into my kitchen, sorted out my sprain and was about to leave when I...I erm, I had a moment of madness and I kissed him. I couldn't help it Haz, he’s so handsome…I was so mortified at what happened, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time...I locked myself in my bedroom. I’m such a coward”

“Jesus...are you still there now?”

“...Yeah, I’m too scared to move...suppose John is still out there waiting for me?”

“John? That’s your bosses name?”

Bollox 

Libby groaned internally at her slip of the tongue, her plan to protect John’s anonymity having gone out the window. Surely this day couldn’t get any worse?

“...Yeah...my bosses name is John...and I fancy the pants off him...this is fucking awful!” 

Libby felt the tears start to well again as she weighed up her limited options in her head, she was certain there was no coming back from this. She’d be living on her friend's couch within days. Just when things were starting to go well in her life, she had to go and balls it all up, and mess up John’s life too for good measure. 

“Libs darling I have to ask, when you kissed John, what happened? How did he react? Did he push you away?” 

“What?”

“How did he react to you kissing him?” Harriet repeated a bit more firmly. 

“Well, he erm didn’t exactly try to stop me…” 

“So he wasn’t angry with you then?”

“....”

“Don’t take this the wrong way my love, but it does sound to me as if you’re worrying over nothing. If John didn’t mind you kissing him, then what’s the problem?”

Libby was incredulous, “What’s the problem?! Have you listened to a word I’ve just said?!” 

“Yes I have, and if what you’ve said is true then you have no issue whatsoever hun. You like him, he seems to like you too so...what’s the problem? You’re both grown adults”

Libby pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, this conversation wasn’t going in the direction she’d expected. 

“Haz, it’s not as simple as that, ok? Yes I admit I like John alright, I can’t stop thinking about him. There I said it. But...it can’t go any further, he’s my boss, I can’t date my boss!”

Harriet was unmoved, “Why not? lots of people date their bosses, I know of several couples who went on to get married. If it can work for them, then why not for you?” 

“...He’s too old for me” Libby blurted out “He’s in his 60’s” 

“Rubbish, too old indeed, you’re just trying to talk yourself out of this and it isn’t working...is it? You know I’m right”

“Urgh, why is this so hard?!” 

“This guy must be something pretty special to have this effect on you” Harriet reasoned, “Do you really want to risk losing him over a fear of the unknown? If it were me I’d go for it, just bite the bullet and ask him out. If it goes belly up, so what? You can get your flat back and find another job, christ you can live with me for a bit if you have to. I do think though that if you don’t act on your feelings, and act on them very soon, you’ll only regret it” 

Libby was torn, she didn’t know what to do for the best.

“I hate you sometimes you know” 

“I know” Harriet laughed, “But you know I’m right” 

Harriet was indeed right, she was always bloody right..the bitch.

Libby had a restless night ahead of her, trying not to think about the potential consequences of her actions just hours earlier. She felt torn, debating whether to follow her heart or her head, with her friends words of wisdom ringing in her ears. She’d given into her feelings many times before and had always ended up getting hurt, how did she know that wouldn’t happen again? The painful truth was that she didn’t. 

The more she thought about it as the night wore on, the more obvious it became to Libby that John was actually interested in her personally which was a shock to her. The hints of jealousy and protective behaviour...it was all making sense now. How had she not noticed? Even Veronica had picked up on it for God's sake. Libby had always considered herself an intelligent woman but right now she felt incredibly annoyed with herself for missing all the signs. 

Libby had no idea how things would go down in the morning when she faced John again, she could only hope her display of emotional theatrics hadn’t put him off. As she settled down for the night and willed her overactive mind to let her sleep, Libby said a silent prayer that she hadn’t blown her chances. John was an incredible man, and she’d be insane to let him get away. 

Could John be The One?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they, won't they? 
> 
> You'll have to wait for the next chapter! Ha, I'm a evil bitch I know 
> 
> :D


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Libby and John experience yet another breakthrough in their relationship, and this time not just their professional one...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, chapter 17...we're getting close to the end now. But, there is a lot more drama, angst and action to come.

6am, 6am on a sodding Sunday morning…fucks sake. 

Libby groaned when she realised the time. She’d been wide awake for the past half an hour and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get back to sleep. It was always the same; when she needed to be up early her body didn’t want to know, but on days when she had no plans at all and didn’t have to be up, she’d be buzzing before dawn. 

It was bloody typical. 

After trying once more to doze off without success Libby gave up, reaching over to grab her cell phone from the nightstand. Her inbox was stuffed full of silly messages and memes from Harriet all intended to give her a laugh and to make her smile. Libby had thought more than once it was a shame that she wasn’t attracted to women, as Harriet would make the ideal girlfriend. She was thoughtful, full of wisdom, fiercely loyal, so easy to get along with and had a great bum. 

Maybe Haz would consider being my plan B if all else fails? Libby thought to herself with a chuckle, she’s always been open minded...hmmm though maybe not THAT open minded. 

Libby put that though to the back of her mind as she contemplated getting up. It was technically still the middle of the night in her world, but sitting about in bed wasn’t going to achieve anything other than give her a bad back. Libby stretched her legs out and gave her left ankle an experimental twirl. It still hurt a bit after the previous evening, the thought of which made her cringe with embarrassment. 

What a monumental screw up that had been. 

They say things happen in threes, well Libby certainly had her three last night. It was one thing to have been cheated on, that had been bad enough, then she had to go and embarrass herself in front of John by losing control of her emotions in utterly spectacular fashion. How the man hadn’t fired Libby on the spot for that was beyond her. The one thing she couldn’t get out of her mind right now though was The Kiss. 

That amazing kiss...

The kiss that could potentially end her life as she currently knew it. 

What the hell had she been thinking? 

Libby broke out in a cold sweat and shivered at the thought of having to face John after what had happened. Harriet had done her best in her own unique style to convince her that all was well, what was the problem? She had said, what’s the worst that could happen? She had been typically blaise about it all, but this time Libby hadn’t found her friends' confidence all that reassuring. 

Using her injury as an excuse Libby stayed put for most of the day, hobbling about like an old woman and cursing herself for her clumsiness. She now deeply regretted not keeping a spare pair of fold-up flat shoes in her handbag like her Mother always did. She had laughed out loud on being given that nugget of advice, it had seemed so old fashioned at the time, something Libby would never dream of being necessary. Mums always know best though. 

On any normal Sunday Libby could usually be found jogging round the local park, or wandering the high street in search of the latest bestseller or a new addition to her wardrobe. Not today though, instead she had to make do with lounging on the couch, leg propped up on a stack of cushions and her laptop for company. By Midday Libby was bored shitless and fed up, there was only so much crap TV and bizarre YouTube videos she could put up with, and she couldn’t vent at Harriet again, she knew only too well the response she’d get. 

Stop moping, get over yourself and ask the man out you wimp! Libby could hear her besties dulcet tones in her head, mocking her affectionately. 

If only it were that simple. 

Truth be told Libby was too scared to even put one foot outside her own front door. It was like her first night in the house all over again, the dreaded fear of the unknown. 

I’ll have to venture downstairs and talk to John eventually, Libby told herself with no amount of certainty whatsoever. She couldn't avoid him for much longer. After lunch. Yes...definitely after I’ve had something to eat...

Definitely…maybe.

………………………………………….

John hunched over his desk as he nursed his third mug of tea that morning, whilst massaging his temples in an attempt to ease the tension headache that had been plaguing him for hours. John was an early riser by nature, he had been for years, but today had been a crack of dawn job even by his standards. 

He’d had an awful night's sleep, tossing and turning restlessly, unable to settle. It was so unlike him but it had hardly been a normal evening. John briefly considered going back to bed, but soon abandoned that idea for a brisk walk instead, hoping that a good dose of fresh air would help to blow the cobwebs away. 

John nervously threw a glance up the stairs as he quietly slipped his coat and shoes on, listening out for any signs of life. The last thing he wanted right now was a potential confrontation when he wasn’t feeling at his best. He had no idea what mood or state Libby was in and didn’t really want to find out, as cowardly as that seemed. John had proved time and again that he wasn’t good at dealing with conflicts, and he wasn’t about to try and put that right now. 

With the coast definitely clear John headed outside for a much needed stroll. It was early summer but unfortunately the weather hadn’t seemed to pick up on that fact, teasing and mocking the city's residents with a dull and overcast covering of cloud, and the light thin type of rain that slowly seeps into your clothes and gets you wet before you notice. 

Pulling the collar of his jacket up higher, John jammed his hands into his pockets with a heavy sigh and started walking. It was too damp outside for a cigarette and god knows he needed one right now to soothe his nerves. Smoking was a habit that he still couldn’t break despite repeated warnings from his doctor and his family that it wasn’t good for his health. Talk of possible lung cancer and emphysema going in one ear and straight out the other. He’d been a smoker for over 30 years and didn’t see much point in stopping now. 

John was doing his best to look after himself, but everyone has their limits and their vices. Cigarettes and the occasional glass of wine just happened to be his, so sue him...OK perhaps the occasional bottle, but still, it was his life and no one else's. The exercise regime John started recently was going reasonably well though, at least he did feel a little fitter and was certain his paunch looked smaller...if he squinted and cocked his head to the side. 

It had been hard work, harder than John cared to admit, and he wondered as he strode towards the park if it was going to be worth it after what had happened last night. Was there any point if he really was that off-putting? It certainly seemed that way, judging by Libby’s extreme reaction. She had initiated the kiss between them to be fair, but after realising what she’d done she couldn’t have gotten away fast enough. 

John had been left standing in Libby’s kitchen like a lemon, with his heart racing out of his chest. It had taken all of his willpower to resist following the woman to try and coerce her from the bedroom, fighting with himself over what to do for the best. He slumped against the table in despair, with his legs suddenly feeling weak like jelly. 

What the hell just happened? 

Had he imagined it? Was it real? 

Oh it was real alright, and an absolute mess. Surely now any chance of John and Libby ever becoming acquainted in the romantic sense was long gone? Out of the window, never to be seen again. 

John seriously regretted his part in it all.

You just had to stick your nose in and get involved where you weren’t wanted didn’t you? John groaned internally with his head in his hands. You should have left well alone, just as Libby wanted. She’ll never open up to you now...

The sense of dejection and rejection had been overwhelming. There was only one thing for it, leave Libby to it for the night, as much as it pained him to, give her some much needed space and then apologise profusely in the morning. That’s if she’d be willing to accept of course. 

John had hesitated for a moment, staring forlornly in the direction of Libby’s bedroom before giving up and reluctantly deciding to head back downstairs. He’d been sitting there in a daze for a good 20 minutes, half hoping that Libby would come out but figured she was most likely licking her wounds, too embarrassed to show her face. 

He couldn’t really blame her.

John was bought back to the present by a sudden rumble of thunder in the distance. The recently forecast storm that had been threatening to appear all morning had finally decided to show itself. With a deep sigh John guessed it was best to head home before he got totally drenched, running through his head of what to say to Libby when he got back. He’d been pounding the streets for a good couple of hours by now, putting off the inevitable.

He felt like a dead man walking. 

There was total silence back at the house, no sign of life or movement anywhere. John was grateful for that, breathing a sigh of relief that he had a little more time to prepare himself for what would no doubt be a tense and awkward conversation. He also needed to decide whether to approach Libby or wait for her to come to him. Something told John though that he might be waiting for a very long time unless he made the first move. 

So much for a nice relaxing Sunday.

…………………………………………...

Right, time to go face the music...after another coffee.

If procrastination was an olympic sport, Libby would have a stack of gold medals by now and a world record. She may have been super organised and on the ball in her professional life, but personally was an expert at putting things off. She’d managed to waste most of the day by sodding about online, watching crap daytime TV and making repeated trips to the kitchen for a brew. At this rate she’d soon end up with a serious caffeine addiction. 

Libby tried to convince herself that she wasn’t avoiding anything, oh no. She was simply having a chilled out Sunday, like any normal person would do. Sunday’s were a day of rest after all, as the saying goes…what was the problem? 

Oh who am I kidding? You pathetic woman. 

Libby made a face as she berated herself for her unwillingness to get on with it. She knew that the longer she waited the harder it would be, but something kept holding her back. That little tiny nugget of doubt in her mind that refused to go away. Libby was terrified of having to face John, as whilst it was pretty clear he was attracted to her, she hadn’t exactly covered herself in glory. The poor guy must have been mortified when she’d cut their kiss short and scarpered. 

Libby had embarrassed them both, and didn’t know if there was any way back from it. Well, there was only one way to find out.   
Ok, enough’s enough Libs, come on girl let’s do this...

Libby took a deep breath, wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans and braced herself for the most excruciating conversation of her life, it was now or never. All she had to do was calmly go downstairs, find John and apologise for last night, then take things from there. Simple, right? 

Wrong.

Libby had barely taken one step when a sudden knock at the door stopped her in her tracks. She gasped, hands flying to her face. There was only one person that could be.

“Libby? Erm, it’s John, are you in there?”

Shit.

Libby stood frozen in shock at the sound of John’s voice filtering through the door. This was not supposed to happen. 

He must know I’m here, I haven’t left the house all day. Fuck! 

Libby started to panic, this was the last thing she had been expecting. 

“Libby?” John was persistent, she had to give him that. 

“Just a minute!” 

Libby desperately tried to buy herself some time, rushing about to try and make the place look more presentable and more importantly herself. She hadn’t bothered to shower yet and was still in her pajamas. With her hair scraped back and also no makeup on she hardly looked or felt her best. 

What perfect timing. 

She couldn’t keep John waiting forever, so with a heavy heart and her nerves in shreds she tentatively opened the door. 

“Libby, hi...erm, I’m sorry to bother you, is this a bad time?” John asked softly, standing nervously in the hallway.

John looked so vulnerable that Libby’s heart almost melted there and then. There was the man that she had fallen for, and fallen for hard. She almost forgot to breathe for a moment, taking in his utterly handsome appearance, forgetting briefly what she’d been so worried about. 

“...No, no it’s fine John. Erm, please come in”

John hesitated for a moment, looking unsure. He hadn’t expected Libby to invite him into the apartment after what had happened last night. 

“Please, come in. I was just about to put the kettle on...can I erm, get you a tea or coffee?” 

John crossed the threshold with the air of a man about to go to the gallows, pushing the door closed gently behind him. It felt like he was intruding. 

“...I erm, yeah a tea would be great..thanks” 

Libby busied herself making their drinks whilst John perched awkwardly at the table, gazing around the kitchen and living room, really taking it all in. Certain items caught his attention, the little hints of decor that made the place home. Libby had given the place a feminine touch, something that had been lacking from the rest of the house for a while. 

John was bought out of his daydream by a steaming hot mug of tea being placed in front of him, along with pots of cream and sugar. 

“Here we go” Libby offered, her voice trembling ever so slightly, “Hope a mug’s ok, my erm...best cups are in the dishwasher” 

“This is fine, thank you” 

There was an awkward silence for a moment as they both sipped quietly at their teas, neither seemed willing to speak up first. Finally though John plucked up the courage to address the elephant in the room. 

“Libby, I...I want to apologise for yesterday”

Libby was dumbfounded, looking at John like he had two heads, “What? No! God no John it’s me who needs to apologise. I was going to come and find you but you beat me to it” She chuckled lightly, and placed her mug carefully on the table before clearing her throat. “What I did last night...it was...well, it was unprofessional of me and completely unacceptable. I never should have put you in the position, and I am so so sorry for that” 

There she had done it, the hardest part was over. 

To Libby’s surprise instead of seeming angry or annoyed, John smiled softly, placing his own mug on the table. He still seemed incredibly nervous though, the reason why would soon become very apparent. 

“Thank you for being so honest Libby, but you really didn’t do anything wrong. You were stressed and...I...I shouldn’t have interfered. I only made things worse I think”

Didn’t do anything wrong? How can he say that? Do I really have to spell it out? 

“John I...I don’t understand how you’re being so calm about this? I was out of line. I lost control of myself and I took it out on you. That’s unforgivable surely in anyone's book?”   
“Not in mine” John replied softly 

Libby was amazed at John’s lack of anger and apparent nonchalance at the situation. She felt she needed to be punished for her actions and wasn’t about to let it go without a fight. 

“You might be ok with it John but I’m not, I’m utterly ashamed of myself. I’ve broken the trust between us. I’ve bought my personal issues into your home. I’ve crossed a boundary that should never ever have been crossed!” 

“Libby…”

“I deserve to be fired for what I did, if that had happened in any other work place I’d be facing a disciplinary by now, humiliated, with my reputation in tatters”

“Libby please, I….”

“Who would want to hire me after this? The over emotional crazy woman, who can’t find a decent man or control herself when things go tits up?”

“I don’t care about any of that”

“...BUT I KISSED YOU!”

That had done it.

Libby had stunned both John and herself with her outburst. They sat staring at each other open mouthed for a moment, before Libby jumped from up her seat without another word. She grabbed both mugs and headed towards the sink, desperately trying to hide the tears welling in her eyes. 

She stood still sniffling quietly, waiting for John to leave, but was surprised instead when he silently came over to stand beside her. She couldn’t look him in the eye. 

“Libby, please look at me” 

“....”

“Libby, please...I have to tell you something” 

“If you’re going to fire me John then please just get it over with” Libby pleaded with in a whisper. “I can be gone by the morning”

“I’m not going to do that, I would never fire you. Not when you’re such an amazing assistant. I don’t know what I’d do without you”

Don’t make me laugh. 

“You can do so much better than me. There must be thousands of people out there who could easily take my place” 

“No. Now that’s where you’re wrong” John insisted calmly but firmly, “There isn’t a single person in the world who could replace you. Besides...I...I don't want any other assistant, I only want you”

Libby turned to look at John in astonishment, was he actually saying what she thought he was? 

No...surely not…

He’d made it clear by his actions that he was interested in her, but to actually come out and say it…?

“Wait...what are you...”

John cut Libby off with a gentle hand on her arm, buying himself a few precious seconds before daring to bare his soul. This was it. The moment he’d been building up to for weeks. 

“I like you”

Oh my god.

“I like you, and not just as my assistant either. I...I've liked you for some time, and erm...well I’ve just been too nervous and stubborn to admit it”

Libby was stunned to hear John confess his true feelings. She had dreamed about this for so long, quietly hoping that one day he would open up to her, but doubting too at the same time that anything would ever happen. The irony also wasn’t lost on her that it was most likely the kiss that had forced John’s hand so to speak. 

For once Libby was speechless, struggling to get her words out. She knew what she wanted to say but her frazzled brain was having trouble articulating her thoughts.

Gods sake woman, say something, anything! 

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable Libby, but I promise I’m not angry about the kiss at all, in fact…I thought it was incredible…I didn’t want it to end”

Oh Jesus.

John was growing increasingly worried by Libby’s silence. He was starting to wonder if he’d just made a huge mistake.

“Libby…? If I’ve got this all wrong I’m so sorry…I…”

“No! no…it’s ok, don’t be sorry please” Libby finally found her voice, her heart racing wildly, “You’ve not read anything wrong at all, because…well I…I like you too”

John’s face was an absolute picture, a mixture of amazement, pure joy, and relief.

“…You...you like me too?”

“Of course I do”, Libby replied in earnest, “How could I not?”

John laughed out loud at that before he could stop himself, “I’m sorry Libby, I don’t mean to be rude, I just…well I’ve been a right bastard to you at times. I’ve made things difficult for both of us since day one. I guess I’m just astounded that you’ve stuck around for as long as you have”

“Oh believe me, I’ve come close to packing it in more than once. I’ve often wondered if it was all worth it, but…something has always kept me here, something I can’t really explain if that makes sense? Besides, you’ve changed recently, in a good way I might add, and…well you’ve shown me that you are worth sticking around for”

John was quietly thrilled that his efforts in recent weeks hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“It also helps that you’re erm…you’re quite good looking” Libby continued, a little shyly.

“Quite?” John exclaimed in mock outrage, before gesturing towards himself, “Excuse me?”

Now it was Libby’s turn to laugh, the man's confidence was certainly improving. 

“Alright, you’re very good looking...like…really good looking, and I mean that” 

John shook his head in disbelief, he was having a little trouble wrapping his brain around what was happening. 

“It’s true” Libby insisted, “You’re everything I want in a man. You’re intelligent, respectful, sexy, and you don’t try and pretend that you’re someone you’re not”

She thinks I’m sexy...John’s stomach did a little flip at that remark, he hadn’t considered himself in that way for years. He certainly hadn’t felt that way since long before his marriage had broken down. For the first time in god knows how long John was starting to feel good about himself again. He’d been given a second chance at happiness, and he was not going to let it go. 

“You’re pretty damn special yourself you know” John beamed, “You’re feisty but kind, you’re smart and you don’t take any nonsense. That’s exactly the kind of woman I want and need in my life. You’re also beautiful, stunning actually” 

Libby blushed all the way down to her toes. Even at her worst John still considered her attractive? That was a game changer, and definitely sealed the deal. 

“It’s crazy isn’t it?” Libby questioned out loud, “We’ve been pining for each other for so long, but have been too scared to act on it. We’ve wasted so much time…”

“We need to do something about that then don’t we?” John said quietly, hopefully. 

“Are you asking me out?” Libby asked with a small, slightly shy smile. 

Please...please say you are.

“I might be, if you want to me to that is” 

Yes! 

“How could I say no to that?”

“...So, we’re doing this? For real?” John asked, “You’re absolutely sure?”

“Yes, let’s do it. After all what have we got to lose? I like you, you like me...” 

John smiled broadly, shaking his head in amusement. 

“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking how stupid it is, that we’re been dancing around each other for so long, and it took the intervention of my sodding ex to make me realise what I was missing out on. Ronnie saw the signs way before we did, and now look at us...she was right, she’s always bloody right!”

“She certainly has a lot to answer for, I’ll give you that...and you’re certain she’d be ok with this, with...with us?”

“Yes, absolutely. She’s already given me her blessing. She thinks the world of you”

“...What about your children?” Libby asked hesitantly. 

John sighed deeply, “Don’t worry about them, I’ll handle it” He had a pretty good idea how they’d react to him dating so soon after splitting from their mother, especially when it was with someone so much younger, but he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

“Alright...well, if we’re going to do this, then we need to do it properly, and I think we need to set some ground rules, agreed?” 

“Like what?” John asked a little warily. 

“Because we’re under the same roof 24/7 we need a clear distinction between home and work, for me especially. So no dating talk during working hours, we need to keep things professional, no pet names or discussing plans for the weekend or anything like that”

“Ok, that makes sense”

“We also need to give each other space, and to respect each other’s space. So I won’t wander about the house unless I have your permission, and I would expect the same from you regarding the apartment. Just think of it as if we’d just met, you wouldn’t suddenly turn up at my house and act like you owned the place would you?” 

“No of course not. You’ve been thinking about this for a while haven’t you?”

“I might have been...I just wanted to be prepared...though I guess that does sound a bit presumptuous doesn’t it?”

“Not at all, that’s one of the things I like so much about you, how organised and level headed you are...well most of the time anyway”

“Oi! How rude!” 

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one”

“It’s alright. I meant it about taking things slow though, I don’t want to rush into anything and screw it all up” Libby reiterated with a firm nod. 

“Ok” John agreed, “How about we kick things off with dinner tomorrow night? I’ll cook for you, make something nice” 

“Yeah, ok yeah that sounds lovely. I’ll bring the wine...though I’d rather we kicked things off right now...”

Libby moved slowly to close the gap between herself and a slightly confused John, leaning forward to press a soft and gentle kiss to John’s lips. It was similar to last night, but this time the atmosphere was completely different, instead it was relaxed and chilled out with no hint of awkwardness at all. John melted into the kiss, carefully placing a hand on Libby’s waist which to his delight she didn’t push away. 

The kiss lasted less than 30 seconds, but it was magical for both of them. It signalled the start of something special, the birth of a new relationship that would undoubtedly have its ups and downs, and would need effort from both John and Libby to keep it alive and well. Something told them deep down though that it would be oh so worth it. 

“Wow, that was erm, wow” Libby lightly brushed her fingers across her lips, wanting to savour the moment. 

“It was, wasn’t it?” John agreed with a smile. 

“I hope you didn’t mind, but I couldn’t resist”

“I don’t mind at all, that’s what women do when they’re dating, kiss their boyfriends” 

“Now who’s being presumptuous?! Libby teased. 

John simply smiled in response, backing off slightly to give Libby some space. He figured now was a good time to head back downstairs. He didn’t want to push his luck and potentially ruin what was turning out to be a wonderful day. 

“Right, well I’ll leave you to it now then Libby, make sure you rest that ankle”

“I will. I'm looking forward to tomorrow night already, to dinner. I’ll be sure to bring a bottle of Chardonnay, and my best glasses” 

“Sounds great, enjoy the rest of your day”

Libby saw John off, watching through a crack in the door as he headed downstairs with a slight spring his step. Back inside Libby was in a daze, a happy and contented daze. She sighed happily to herself as she flopped onto the couch, grabbing one of the cushions, hugging it tightly”

If all went well then the next few months and beyond could be spectacular, providing there were no major hiccups of course...

No Libs, don’t jinx it, just think happy thoughts...god what shall I wear tomorrow night? Play it cool and casual or mix it up a little bit? 

With that thought in mind Libby jumped up completely forgetting about the pain in her ankle and made a beeline for her bedroom, grabbing her phone en route. 

“Hey Haz? I’ve got some news for you...you will never believe what just happened…”

…………………

Chicken or fish? or maybe pasta? Hmmm...I should have asked Libby what she prefers.

John stood surveying the somewhat uninspiring contents of the fridge, fretting slightly over what to cook for his and Libby’s first date that evening. He wanted to impress her without going over the top, or give the impression he’d put too much effort in. Relaxed and casual was the order of the day. 

In the end John settled on grilled chicken and pesto Alfredo, with fresh handmade fettuccine from a local deli, followed by white chocolate and lemon mousse. Nice and simple, plus it would go well with the wine that Libby had mentioned. All he had to do now was get it all ready, and not let his nerves get in the way and risk spoiling it. 

John was nervous, incredibly so. He hadn’t had an official first date since well, a very long time ago, far longer than he cared to remember and he wanted it to go perfectly. This was his chance to impress Libby and to start to get to really know her, and as a potential partner this time rather than just someone who worked for him. It was a scary prospect, especially for someone of his advancing years. 

The day passed by uneventfully, with John and Libby exchanging pleasantries and sharing a tea break mid morning. John thought to himself whilst making a start on dinner that afternoon that the atmosphere and overall mood in the house now seemed a lot better since yesterday. There was a sense of calm in the air, a happier and more relaxed ambience. 

He had a good feeling about it all despite his nerves. He kept reassuring himself that it was ok and perfectly normal to feel nervous, it proved that he really cared and wanted things to go well. Overconfidence was a real turn off in his opinion, and could be seen as being arrogant. 

Finally 7pm rolled around. John laid the table in the dining room with his best crockery, and the flowers he’d ordered in specially whilst keeping one eye on the stove. He had to admit it did smell good, fingers crossed it tasted great as well. He’d taken a chance with a recipe he’d never tried to cook before himself but had eaten out in the past. 

With everything set John hovered in the kitchen awaiting Libby’s imminent arrival, nervously wringing his hands and glancing at the door. The wait was torture. 

Relax, John it’s just dinner. You’ve got nothing to prove, she’ll be here, chill. 

Just then, right on cue the sound of footsteps echoed down the hall. 

“Hi John, hope you’ve not been waiting too long for me. I come bearing wine and glasses as promised” Libby appeared in the hallway wearing a simple but elegant wrap-around dress and a wide smile. She looked amazing. 

John forgot himself for a moment and simply stared at the gorgeous woman standing before him, his manners going out the window in one fell swoop. “...Sorry, I erm, you look great, good choice of wine too” 

“Thanks, this goes with pretty much everything, not that I know much about wine pairing I’ll admit. As far as I’m concerned though as long as it tastes good, that’s all that matters. You look great too by the way, that colour really suits you” 

John looked down at himself, he’d been a little unsure of how to dress this evening and was thankful to have got it right. He’d changed his mind several times, though In the end he’d erred on the side of caution, and gone for a smart dark jeans and royal blue button down shirt combo with silver plated cufflinks he'd bought for special occasions. Smart-casual and comfortable. 

It was a good start to the evening to John’s relief. 

“You’re very kind” John responded with a smile of his own, “I hope you like pasta and chicken?” 

“Oh I do indeed, they’re two of my favourites. Especially when paired up with a nice sauce” 

Thank god for that. 

“You’re in luck then. Please go take a seat in the dining room Libby. I’ll join you in a sec” 

John hadn’t wanted to risk bloating them both out with a three course, calorie laden extravaganza, so had compromised by throwing together a modest antipasti style sharing platter as an appetizer. 

“Oh now that looks good John, how did you know I love olives and sun dried tomatoes? You must be psychic!” Libby beamed as she handed John a glass of wine, breathing in the delicious aroma before her. 

“Just lucky I guess” John smirked with a shrug, “I’ve also got some white chocolate and lemon mousse in the fridge for dessert, if that’s ok?” 

“Is that ok?! You’re looking at the biggest white chocolate fan on Earth here!” Libby almost knocked the bottle of wine over, she was that excited. “Oops, that could have been messy” She laughed. 

John was pleased to see Libby so relaxed and already enjoying herself. If this was anything to go by, they would have some good times ahead, some very good times. 

“Well, cheers John, here’s to us” Libby clinked glasses with her dinner companion, very much enjoying herself and his company. 

“Cheers Libby, and yes here’s to us” 

With the wine and the food going down well, the conversation soon got going and started to flow nicely. Office talk was banned for the evening, with no mention of anything work related. Instead they focussed on getting to know each other personally, opening up about their pasts, to a point, plus their likes and dislikes, and their families. Libby was a little shocked to learn that John had 6 children, and already had 4 young grandchildren. She knew he had grown up kids having already met two of them, but hadn’t realised his family was so big. 

That could make things interesting in the months to come. 

Libby knew a little about John's previous career as a musician before retirement, and his time with Queen, but didn’t push for more. She’d done some digging online out of curiosity and had found some truly eye opening stuff, but as with all things on the internet didn’t know if she could trust any of it to be the truth. She figured it was best to wait it out and let John open up to her as and when he was ready. 

“So you grew up in Cornwall then?” John asked in between mouthfuls of chicken. 

“I was born just down the road from Truro yes, but I didn’t really grow up there. We moved to London when I was 3 after my Dad died. Mum wanted a fresh start for us all” 

“That’s understandable” John replied, “I spent quite a bit of time in Cornwall with the band in the early 70’s, when we first got going. It was good fun. We shared a flat, and did a few mini tours round the local villages” 

“I bet it’s a different world down there now to how you remember it” Libby pondered. “Mum actually moved back there a few years ago, which I wasn’t unhappy about. She was finally far away enough that she couldn’t just drop in for a visit whenever she wanted” 

“Do you not get along then?”

“Oh no, we get on fine. I love her to bits, I just don’t appreciate unexpected visitors that’s all. When people say they have an open door policy, it really gets my back up. I mean, I don’t expect friends and family to make an appointment to see me, of course not, I just prefer a bit of prior warning, or at least to be asked first”

“I agree with you there, I value my privacy as you know, and apart from the children and grandkids I don’t allow anyone to drop by unannounced, it’s just not the done thing”

Libby was grateful for that.

“Well I have to say John, that was fabulous, thank you” Libby had a very happy tummy, full of one of the best chicken and pasta dishes she’d had in awhile.

“You’re very welcome. I hope you still have room for some dessert?”

“Absolutely, I am very much looking forward to your take on chocolate mousse”

Oh Christ, this is sooooo good…my god in heaven. 

Libby had to stop herself from moaning pornographically when she tasted the first spoonful. It was everything sweet that she loved all together in one small glass. 

John was amused at Libby’s delighted reaction, “Guess I’ll be making that again then?” He chuckled. 

“Yes! Definitely. You have got to let me have the recipe, this is delicious”

John watched with affection as Libby scraped out every last scrap. It was heartwarming to see her enjoying his food so much, and to also see Libby so relaxed and content in his company.

“Well, this has been really nice hasn’t it?” John said, as more of a statement than a question. 

“It has, it really has” Libby agreed with a smile, “I’ve really enjoyed this”

“...So, I’ve been thinking, how about we make this a regular thing, maybe once a week?” John asked hopefully.

“That sounds great. Maybe not a Monday though, how about on a Friday or at the weekend? Assuming you’re free then of course?”

“Perfect, it’s a date!”

“Next time I’m going to cook for you” Libby declared, “7pm this Friday, my place...I think you know the address?”

“Oh don’t worry, I know where you live” John smirked, “Can I get you a coffee or a tea?”

“No I’m fine thanks John, I think I’ll call it a day now if that’s ok, it’s later than I realised” 

It occurred to John just then that he hadn’t checked the time once all evening, that was a sure sign it had been a successful night. 

“Wow, it’s 10pm, where has the time gone?”

“I know, and it’s a school night as well. How irresponsible of us” Libby joked as she stood to leave the table. 

I can think of a few more fun ways to be irresponsible…John blinked, trying to get that lewd thought from his head. He longed to be intimate with Libby one day, but knew he had to be patient. 

“Thank you for a lovely evening Libby, let me see you upstairs”

“Oh you don’t need to do that”

“I insist. Think of it as the equivalent of me seeing you off in a taxi, or at the station” 

Ever the gentleman, John escorted Libby up to the apartment, with one hand protectively on the small of her back. Libby opened the door and hovered at the threshold for a moment. She briefly considered inviting John in, but didn’t want to tempt fate and ruin what had been a successful start to their new relationship. Instead Libby leaned in for a kiss, which John was more than happy to give. It was an all too brief but perfect end to the evening. 

“Well, I’ll leave you it then Libby, sleep well” 

“You too John, and thank you for tonight. It really has been lovely, I’m looking forward to Friday already. Any requests dinner wise, or shall I surprise you?” 

“I’ll leave it up to you to decide, I trust your judgement. Goodnight” 

“Goodnight”

Libby watched John leave with something warm and tingly in her chest. Friday could not come quickly enough.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Libby and John have their second date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, apologies for the delay in updating the story, hope you're still enjoying this. Any comments would be very welcome!

“I’ve been messaging you all bloody day, where the hell have you been?! Come on, how was it last night? What happened?” 

Libby was almost deafened by Harriet screeching down the phone at her, she had to laugh at the woman’s child like enthusiasm. 

“Calm down Haz, for god's sake!” 

“No, shant. Not until you give me all the details, I have to know everything, and I mean everything!” 

Libby rolled her eyes affectionately with a teeny hint of annoyance. Harriet was a few years older than her, and whilst she had been her rock in recent months, imparting her wisdom and being a steady shoulder to cry on, she could still act like an irritating little sister at times. 

“Ok, ok! It was really good actually, very relaxed and chilled out with no awkwardness at all. John cooked for us both from scratch, which was fabulous. He made a gorgeous pesto chicken pasta and the most amazing chocolate mousse. We talked about our families, and a little about his days as a musician. The conversation flowed really well, it was like we’d known each for years. I had a really nice time” 

“.....”

“What?”

“Is that it?” Harriet demanded a little abruptly. 

“What do you mean is that it? It was a very successful date” 

“Well you’re not giving much away are you?”

“Haz, we had dinner. A regular, perfectly normal dinner date here at the house. What exactly were you expecting?”

“Did you at least kiss him?”

“...We kissed each other goodnight, yes”

“....and?”

“What do you want me to say? That I lept on the poor guy and dragged him into my secret sex den up in the attic, tied him to the bed and used my collection of whips and dildos on him?”

“...Of course not, don’t be daft….I just, I was hoping it might have been a bit more interesting...that’s all” 

“Oh, well I’m sorry my love life is too dull and boring for you right now, I must try harder!”

“You know I didn’t mean that…”

Libby sighed deeply. Harriet meant well but she had an awful habit of letting her mouth run away with her at times. 

“You are far too invested in this you know, it’s not healthy” 

“Sorry...sorry” Harriet huffed, “I just care about you and your happiness, you know I do sweetie” 

“What makes you think I’m not perfectly happy and content right now though? Look, I’m fine and perfectly happy with how things are at the moment. I’m not planning anything, I’m just going to go with the flow, enjoy myself and see what happens. You don’t need to worry ok?” 

“My little Libsy is all grown up” Harriet sighed wistfully, “Whatever will I do now?” 

“You so need a hobby” Libby laughed, “Get yourself a puppy or something”

“In this tiny flat?”

“Point taken. Look I promise if there are major developments in my fledgling relationship you’ll be the first to know, in the meantime just chill hun, please. I’ll be careful I promise” 

“I’m a pain in the arse, I know I am. I just want the best for you that’s all” Harriet said quietly, “You deserve a bloody good rogering from someone who’s not a total fruitloop or a cheating bastard” 

“I can assure you that John is neither of those things” Libby replied whilst trying not to laugh, “...and don’t you worry your pretty little head about my sex life, or lack of, I’m perfectly content to wait a little longer”

That wasn’t strictly true, some of it at least, but Harriet didn't need to know that. 

“So when are you seeing him again?”

“This Friday”

“Nice, you’re not hanging around then?”

“Yeah...so we’ll have to change the date of our catch up’s again I’m afraid. Sorry”

“Don’t be sorry my love, it’s absolutely fine. I would normally say friends before men as you well know, but in your case I’m prepared to make an exception”

“You’re too kind my dear” Libby laughed, “We’ll sort something out soon, just let me get through this week first”

“Why don’t we meet for lunch on Saturday, then you can tell me all about your date over a nice bottle of red, what do you say?”

“Go on then”

“Excellent! So where are you taking John on Friday night then? I’ve heard there’s a rather fabulous Italian place just off the high street in Wimbledon if you haven’t decided yet, if that’s not too far for you of course”

“I’m going to cook for him, here in my apartment. I haven’t decided what to make yet though, maybe a lasagne? He seems to be a big fan of pasta”

“But...you stayed in last night didn’t you?” Harriet was confused.

“We did…yes, but John is…erm, how can I put this? He’s a very private person so he’d rather keep things close to home for now, which is fine. It’s easier this way, save’s us the taxi fare too”

“You don’t sound very sure about that?”

Once again Harriet was right, how did she do it?

“No it’s fine” Libby did her best to reassure her friend, “Honestly, it’s not a problem. We’ll venture out into town next time I’m sure”

“Well, I hope you have a lovely time whatever happens, I mean that. And I am sorry again for being so overbearing. Honestly Libs, just tell me to sod off if I get like that again”

“Oh, I will!”

Libby couldn’t really complain. Harriet had been amazing with her support in recent weeks, and had to take some credit where she and John were concerned, having persuaded Libby that it was ok to follow her heart. 

Friends like her were hard to find.

…………………………………

Friday morning came around in record time, it had been that kind of week yet again. Blink and you miss it.   
After procrastinating a fair bit Libby settled on a timeless Italian classic for her dinner with John that evening; lasagna and garlic bread, followed by tiramisu. It was slightly cliched perhaps, and hardly adventurous but it was all home made to an old family recipe. 

At this early stage in their relationship, now was not the time to take risks. 

Libby had been savvy enough to prepare all the food the night before their second date. In her opinion lasagna always tasted better the day after it was made, plus it gave her more time to get herself ready. She would have just two hours after work to tart herself up sufficiently, so she wanted to make the most of every spare second. 

Libby pondered over what to wear whilst preparing her first coffee of the day. She leaned against the counter waiting for the kettle to boil and chewed thoughtfully at the end of her pen. 

I really should have sorted this out last night...hmmm, do I go casual this time or a bit more sexy? The dress went down well on Monday, could go down route again, but I don’t want to be predictable…

Libby was bought out of her day dream by the kettle screaming and the sudden appearance of John loitering by the door to her office. 

“Morning John! Sorry I didn’t see you there. I’m just about to make a coffee, can I get you one? 

“Good morning Libby, Yes, erm...that would be lovely, thanks..” John replied politely, though with a slight smirk on his face that made Libby frown. 

What did I say?...I haven’t forgotten a meeting this morning have I?

Libby pottered about making two mugs of coffee, and became aware of John taking a seat at the desk behind her which made her smile. He had relaxed a huge amount in the past few days since their first date, being more keen to spend time in Libby’s company and also hanging around the house a lot more. That being said though, she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d forgotten something. 

“Here you go” Libby handed a mug to John as she took a seat across from him. “This is a new brand that I picked up at the farmers market, it was a bit pricey, but it smells good...oooh this tastes good too” 

John agreed, “It does, it’s quite strong though so I wouldn’t drink too much of this. I’d be bouncing off the walls” 

Libby chuckled, taking another sip and frowned again as she noticed John was staring at her. 

“Erm, is there something wrong? Oh no...I was meant to do something this morning wasn’t I?” Libby started to panic and reached for her diary.   
“No, no nothing’s wrong at all” John reassured her, “But erm...you might want to invest in a more robust pen..”

Eh? 

“Sorry?” 

John gave Libby an amused look and tapped his finger against his lower lip. 

Finally the penny dropped and Libby gasped. She riffled through her purse for her compact mirror and flipped it open. What she saw made her heart sink. 

Shit.

“Oh bloody hell…”

Libby took in her appearance and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The biro she’d been chewing on had leaked and deposited a sizable smudge of ink all over her lower lip. How had she not noticed? With their second date only hours away this was an absolute disaster. 

Libby rubbed at her lip in vain, there was no way the stain was going to shift. It would be a good few days if not longer for it to wear off. 

“...Erm, about our date tonight…”

“Don’t even think about cancelling on me Libby” John smiled, “It’s not that bad, really. If it makes you feel any better I’ve done similar myself many times over the years when writing songs” 

Libby slumped back in her seat with a grimace, “You’re very kind John, well at least it wasn’t a permanent marker I guess”

“That’s the spirit” John finished his coffee, taking the mug over to the sink to wash it up. “I know we’re not meant to talk about it during office hours, but I’m really looking forward to tonight”

“I’ll let you off this time, but good, me too! I won’t give the game away, but I’m fairly confident you’ll enjoy the menu I’ve put together” 

“I’m sure I will” 

That won’t be the only thing we’ll enjoy with any luck...John wasn’t expecting to be swinging from the chandeliers after their meal but was hopeful for something more than a simple peck on the lips. 

“Thank you for the coffee Libby, I’ll let you get on with your day now, and I’ll see you this evening. Need me to bring anything?”

“No I don’t think so thanks John, I’ll see you later” 

With John out of the way Libby once again checked her unconventional face paint, cringing in the mirror at her stupidness and bad timing. It was Sod’s law, any other day it would never have happened. Still, at least it gave John a good laugh going by his amused rather than annoyed reaction. 

Good one Libs, once again you’ve proved that you’re the height of sophistication…god I hope John likes lasagna. 

…………………………………………………..

Libby glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall for what must have been the thousandth time. The main course was reheating in the oven, dessert was ready to go in the fridge and the table was set. Everything was perfect.

So why did she feel so nervous?

Libby had no need to try and impress John, they were both way past that stage by now. The man had made it clear in no uncertain terms that he was into her, and was looking to take things further. Libby was keen to as well, when the time was right. She still felt jittery though which was daft considering how well their first date had gone. She had nothing more to prove, anyone could see that so why couldn’t she? 

What if John doesn’t find me interesting enough? Libby suddenly thought with a frown, my life has been so dull compared to his…what if I’m just a stop gap, until something better comes along?...Oh god, stop it you stupid woman! Don’t ruin the night before it’s even started.

Libby resisted the urge to scrub a hand across her face, she’d spent a good hour perfecting her makeup to show off her best features whilst covering the still lingering ink spot on her lip. Self doubt was a dangerous thing, causing her to clean the entire kitchen and living room from top to bottom despite them being already spotless. It wasn’t like John had never seen the flat before either, seeing as he’d lived in the house for years...at least she assumed he had. 

Libby was just about to check her hair one more time and plump up the cushions when a knock at the door made her jump. She smoothed down her shirt, took a calming deep breath and went to welcome her visitor. She opened the door to a very handsome looking John who was dressed in a smart pair of black jeans, button down white shirt and grey blazer. His top two buttons were undone revealing a hint of chest hair. Libby licked her lips and had to force herself not to stare. 

“Hi Libby, hope I’m not too early? You look great”   
Libby blushed a little, “No, not at all John, you’re right on time...and thanks, you look really good too. Please come in”

After much deliberation Libby had decided to wear a pair of smart dark jeans herself, with a wrap around red silk blouse and thin leopard print belt. A practical, comfortable and stylish combination that always went down well. 

John followed Libby into the kitchen and produced a bottle of wine. “I erm, know you said not to bring anything but I came across this in town today, and thought it might go well with dinner? Sorry, I couldn’t resist” 

Libby smiled widely, taking the bottle. “How lovely, thank you. This will go well with dinner I think. I’ve made a lasagna, hope that’s ok?” 

“Oh wonderful, I do like a good homemade lasagna...it is homemade I hope” John asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Nah, it’s a Tesco finest one...of course it’s homemade!” Libby laughed, “It’s an old family recipe I’ll have you know, passed down the generations” 

“Alright I’ll give it a go then, just for you” John smirked. 

Libby felt herself relax at the banter that was flowing between them, what had she been so worried about? She was her own worst enemy at times. 

“Take a seat John, I’ll join you in a sec. Would you like some garlic bread?” 

“Thanks, and yes please, the more the merrier, I love the stuff” 

John made himself at home whilst Libby brought the food to the table. She had kept things simple by initially serving a classic sliced tomato, basil and mozzarella salad with a drizzle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Not just any old mozzarella either, this was the good stuff made with buffalo milk. 

“Well I have to say Libby this looks great” John said appreciatively. 

“You’re very welcome, though it is only a salad” Libby shrugged. 

“Not just any salad, it was made by you” 

Libby blushed again and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. John really was on form tonight. This seemed promising, very promising. 

To her relief the evening was even more relaxed and chilled out than their first date had been only days before. The conversation flowed as easily as the wine, with John chatting away happily about his latest exploits on the golf course and doing his best to convince Libby she should give it a go. 

“No offence John but golf isn’t really my scene” 

“How do you know if you’ve never tried it?”

“....”

“Exactly!” John crowed, waving his fork around to emphasise his point, “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, you never know you might enjoy it”

I’d rather run the London Marathon twice in a row.

“I might do one day” Libby replied, knowing full well she never would. 

“So are there any sports that you do enjoy Libby, whether it’s watching or taking part?”

“Well I love jogging and long walks, and I have been known to dabble with the odd game of tennis. As for watching sports, I’m what you might call a casual fan of most major ones, by that I mean I’m not bothered about your average game of football for instance but I’ll watch the World Cup and the FA cup final, same with the Olympics. I used to be into Formula One as well”

John raised an eyebrow at that, “No offence but I wouldn’t put you as a fan of motor sports”

“Oh I’m not really, I only got into it for a while thanks for my Gran. She was a huge fan, had been since the 60’s. I used to visit her most Sunday’s and one weekend she was planning to watch a race and asked if I wanted to join her. The races themselves were a bit dull but I did get into the technical side of it. I can name all the circuits and drivers from the 80’s and 90’s but ask me who the current lot are and I wouldn’t have a clue! What about you John? Other than golf of course”

“Well I’m into football, I’ve supported QPR for years since I moved to London in the 70’s”

“...Queens Park Rangers?” 

“Yes, that’s right. I used to take the boys to matches when they were little. Nowadays I take the grandkids to the park for a kickabout when they visit. I like cricket too”

Libby finished her glass of wine and leaned back in her chair, “Now cricket is one sport I’ve never understood. My Grandad would try and explain the rules to me but I could never get it! It’s so complicated, and the matches go on forever!” 

“Oh it’s simple really, let me try and explain…”  
Bloody hell.

“No! no it’s ok honestly, I think I can survive without all the details” Libby laughed, “Anyways, it’s time now I think for the main course?” 

“Fair enough” John chuckled as Libby cut him off and headed towards the oven, “I’ll let you off. Need a hand?” 

“No thanks, I’m fine….here we go” Libby declared, depositing her creation in the middle of the table. “Let’s have your plate John and I’ll cut you a piece”

“My word that looks fabulous” John smiled, “It smells really good as well”

“Don’t speak too soon, you haven’t tasted it yet” Libby joked, “How about another bottle of wine to go with it?” 

“Oh I see, you’re trying to get me drunk so I won’t care how bad your cooking is?!”

Libby laughed out loud, and placed a hand on her chest in mock outrage, “The cheek! Perish the thought! As if I would? Besides my cooking isn’t that bad really, at least I’ve not killed anyone yet”

“I’m glad to hear it!”

Half an hour later the lasagne and garlic bread had been demolished along with yet another bottle of wine. Libby was starting to feel a little tipsy and was very grateful it was a Friday night with no work in the morning.

“Thank you Libby, that was absolutely fantastic, one of the best lasagnas I’ve ever had” John had a very content look on his face. 

“You’re very welcome, do you still have room for dessert? I’ve made tiramisu” 

“...Would you believe me if I said I’ve never tried it?” 

Now it was Libby’s turn to be surprised, “Really? I’m amazed! Especially seeing as you love coffee so much” 

“To be honest, the thought of cold coffee has always put me off” John admitted with a grimace. 

“I can understand that, but as you said earlier don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!” 

“Touche” 

Libby watched with amusement as a mixture of expressions crossed John's face whilst he tentatively tried her dessert. It was like seeing a toddler taste a new food for the first time. it soon became clear he was impressed though as within minutes the glass was scraped clean. 

“You liked it then?” 

“Where has this been all my life? I’ve been missing out!” 

“What did I tell you?!”

John signed happily, and patted his stomach. “Well I have a very happy tummy now Libby, that was all wonderful, thank you so much” 

“It’s a pleasure, this has been great again hasn’t it?” 

“It has, it really has. I’ve had a lovely time” 

“Can I get you a coffee?” 

“That would be nice thank you, but first please allow me to clean all this up for you” John offered. 

“What? oh no, I can deal with it tomorrow” 

“I insist” John declared as he stood and started to clear the table, “You’ve worked hard on all this and now you deserve to put your feet up” 

“John….”

“There’s nothing worse Libby that waking up to a kitchen full of last night’s leftovers and dirty dishes, this won’t take long” 

“....Ok, fine” Libby sighed, “But I’m going to dry up” 

The pair fell into a comfortable silence as John washed, and Libby dried before putting everything away, occasionally sneaking little glances at each other and a smile. John was feeling brave and relaxed from all the wine, and leaned in for a gentle peck on the lips more than once. 

There was something so simple and domestic about it, the pair of them pottering around together in Libby’s kitchen like an old married couple. The thought made Libby smile to herself, maybe this was a sign of their long term future? 

“Right, now it’s coffee time” Libby declared once everything was clean and tidy, “Erm, would you like to have this in the lounge...and watch some TV with me?”

You bet I would. 

“That sounds lovely” John smiled, “...though I’m not sure we’ll find anything decent to watch this time of night”

“Oh I dunno, I’m sure we’ll find something”

Libby sighed with relief as she kicked off her shoes before sinking down onto her couch, curling her legs up beneath her. John joined her bringing two steaming hot mugs with him and a plate of custard creams. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d still have room for a biscuit after that lovely meal, but here we go anyway. Personally I can never have a cuppa without at least one biccy to dunk in it”

“Thanks, as much as I love them though I couldn’t manage another mouthful. But you go ahead, go nuts!”

John shrugged off his blazer and took a seat next to Libby. It occurred to him then that this was the first time in years he’d spent more than a few minutes in the flat. Looking around, he was impressed with how she had made it so homely and cozy. 

“I like what you’ve done with the place, it’s very tasteful”

“Thanks, I haven’t really done much though. I’ve just added my own finishing touches here and there and some soft furnishings. I was impressed when I moved in actually at how clean and tidy it was. Has the apartment always been part of the house?”

John took a sip of his coffee with a thoughtful look on his face, “No, it was added in the mid 80’s as accommodation for our live-in nanny. Life was a bit hectic back then with the kids and my job, I was away a lot and Veronica needed the help, so it just made sense. Cheaper and less hassle than moving too”

Libby nodded in agreement, “That makes sense, I can only imagine how chaotic a houseful of children can be, even in a place as spacious as this, which is absolutely stunning by the way, one of the most beautiful houses I’ve ever seen, it’s a real privilege to look after it.”

“You’re doing an amazing job” John replied softly, “I know I’ve said it many times before but I really can’t emphasise that enough. The house is beautiful too, you're right about that...but it’ll never be as beautiful as you...” 

He shuffled closer to Libby so they were almost touching, his eyes sparkling and a little moist. The TV was forgotten as he leaned in for a soft kiss which Libby was more than happy to go along with. She leaned in herself and ended up almost in John's lap, snaking one hand around his waist and the other one cupping his face. Their kiss deepened and before long turned into a full on make out session, their tongues exploring each other's mouths.   
They were like a pair of horny teenagers, with Libby stroking John’s face whilst sneaking a hand inside his shirt. John responded by groping Libby’s backside and pulled her ever closer. Eventually Libby broke off the kiss to catch her breath and was a little surprised to find herself practically straddling John, her knees either side of his hips. She pushed her hair out of her face and had to put her hands on John’s chest to keep herself from toppling over. 

“...Wow, that was….wow” She breathed. 

“You’re telling me...Are you ok? This isn’t too much?” John asked quietly. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I erm...do you...do you want some help with that?”

John followed Libby’s gaze down towards his crotch as Libby shifted backwards slightly, and discovered that he was more excited and turned on than he’d realised. He was very much looking forward to taking the next step with Libby, but didn’t want to push her into anything she wasn’t ready for. 

“Ooops, someone’s having fun by the looks of it...it’s fine though, you don’t have to do anything”

“But I want to” Libby insisted with a glint in her eye. 

“Libby….”

“Shush...please, I want to do this” 

Before John could protest further Libby shuffled elegantly off his lap onto the floor and positioned herself on her knees before him. She made swift work of undoing his belt and the button on his jeans, then pulled the zipper down carefully. 

There was no going back now.   
John watched with bated breath as Libby made room for his sizable manhood to present itself, he was straining uncomfortably against his boxers by now and was growing increasingly desperate for some relief. He certainly hadn’t expected things to go so far.

Libby looked up at John before going any further, “Can I?” She asked softly, her fingers brushing his thigh. 

All John could do in response was nod weakly, he didn’t trust his voice to not betray him. 

With slightly trembling hands Libby eased John’s boxers down allowing his impressive cock to spring free. It was everything she had hoped for; long and thick with a generous amount of wiry grey hair at the base. It was beautiful. 

Libby bit her lip and looked up, locking eyes with John as she wrapped a hand around his engorged length, and gave it a gentle squeeze. It felt warm and heavy, and soft to the touch. John responded with a low groan and tipped his head back. 

“Jesus...”

It had been so long since John had been intimate with anyone other than himself that he almost came there and then. 

“Is that good?” Libby cooed softly, “Yeah? Just relax and let me take care of you ok?” 

John was powerless to resist and practically melted into the sofa, he suddenly seemed to have lost the power of speech. He couldn’t stop proceedings now even if he wanted to. 

Libby steadied herself with one hand on John’s thigh and used the other to start stroking him firmly, initially taking it as slow as she dared. She had a fair amount of experience in that department and knew all the tricks to get a man going, and it certainly seemed to be working on John. Libby got a rhythm going, stroking steadily and twisting her wrist to get just the right angle. 

On hearing the appreciative noises coming from John, Libby went one step further and leaned down to press a deep kiss to the base of his cock. He jerked slightly in response, almost sliding off the couch which made both of them giggle. 

“My god Libby, please don’t stop sweetheart...” 

Libby’s heart swelled at John’s use of a pet name which only encouraged her further. She leaned forwards once more to lick a stripe up his length before pursing her lips and took him into her mouth. She kept her movements shallow at first, bobbing her head up and down whilst keeping her hand securely around the base. 

John’s cock was so long that Libby couldn’t manage to take it all in for fear of choking, so she employed an old tried and tested trick of filling the gap by also stroking it with her hand. It felt warm and tasted slightly musty, like a meaty lollipop that Libby was keen to suck on for as long as possible. 

She hummed in delight as she continued to work up and down, really enjoying the moment whilst a babble of praise tumbled from John’s lips.

“...Fuck, Libby my love you’re so good at this…you’re amazing…”

Libby would have been happy to keep going all night, but it wasn’t long before John was trembling.

“...Libby” John gasped huskily, “I’m close…”   
Libby pulled off John’s cock with a loud pop, feeling grateful for the warning. She pumped her fist a few more times and was rewarded with the beautiful sight of John climaxing and spilling all over her hand. The look of pure fucked out bliss on his face was glorious. 

“Wow...just...my god, that was amazing Libby, absolutely incredible” 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, I had a lot of fun there myself. Don’t move, I’ll get you a towel”

On her return Libby performed a gentle and loving clean up, meeting John’s gaze and exchanging soft kisses with him as she wiped him down. 

“Your turn now?” John asked 

Libby felt desire bubble up again in her chest, the thought was incredibly tempting but she didn’t want to come across as easy…

Easy...yeah...says she who just sucked off a guy on their second date...oh bugger it, you only live once...

“How could I say no to that?” Libby breathed, “Where do you want me?” 

“Come here sweetheart, come get cosy” 

Libby snuggled up close to John on the couch with their legs touching. She squealed in surprise when John suddenly grasped her around the waist and pulled her into his lap. 

“You ok there?” John giggled

“Yeah fine, you erm, just caught me unawares that’s all…you cheeky thing!” Libby could feel desire now pooling between her legs in anticipation of what was to come. She shifted slightly so her legs were hooked around John’s thighs, and her head could rest in the crook of his shoulder. It was the perfect spot to twist round for a sneaky kiss. 

“Please tell me if I do anything you don’t like, ok?” John asked softly, “Promise me”

“....”

“Libby?”

Oh god, please just get on with it! 

“I will, I promise”

Satisfied he had her consent, John set about unbuckling Libby’s belt and unzipping her jeans. His elegant long fingers made light work of the task, which was just as well seeing how turned on they both were. He toyed with the waistband of Libby’s silk knickers, running a finger along the edge and brushing against her warm skin. 

Libby encouraged John to go further south by spreading her legs wider and tilting her hips up to give him better access. He responded by pressing a gentle kiss to Libby’s temple and then slowly, ever so slowly slipped his hand down inside her underwear, Libby let out a deep breath and shuddered a little at the sensation. 

John's hand was warm and slightly calloused and he used it to great effect, gently stroking and massaging Libby’s sweet spot, that one little sensitive bundle of nerves that could send her to heaven. Every now and then he dipped lower to gather up the moisture that was gathering at Libby’s entrance, using it to lubricate his movements and make it feel even better for both of them. 

“Urgh, John…fuck….” 

John chuckled softly at the praise dripping from Libby’s mouth. “You enjoying that my love?”

“....Ple...please don’t stop, Christ alive…” 

Libby was breathing heavily, panting slightly and rocking her hips in time with the moment of John’s hand, getting more and more turned on. She hadn’t felt this good in months.

After a few more minutes Libby started to tense up, she was growing closer and closer to the edge herself. “...urgh, John...baby, please…”

“You almost there sweetheart?”

John encouraged Libby’s release by massaging her firmer and faster, and slipped his other hand inside her shirt to caress her flushed skin. 

“Come on my love, let go...come for me”

That was all it took for Libby to go crashing over the precipice. She cried out as her climax came over her suddenly making her jolt forwards. Her legs were like jelly, trembling as little aftershocks washed over her like warm, pleasant waves. 

“...Bloody hell...that was...that was...damn”

John laughed fondly as an incoherent Libby struggled to get our words out in her post orgasm fogged daze. He gently extracted his hands, helped to clean them both up and waited patiently as Libby rearranged herself. 

“You enjoyed that then I assume?”

Libby was who was still breathing as if she’d run a marathon, turned to John with a blissed out look on her face. She looked absolutely breathtaking. 

“...Oh yeah...that was incredible, thank you so much”

“It was my pleasure, believe me. I think I had just as much fun…”

Libby smiled widely and leaned in for a deep kiss. “Well, I think it’s fair to say that was another successful date”

“You sure you’re ok?” John asked with slight worry in his eyes, “That wasn’t too much, too soon?”

“I’m fine I promise, how could I not be after that? It definitely wasn’t too much...it was wonderful”

“Good, good...I have to admit it’s been….a long while since I’ve done anything like that…” 

“Well I would never have guessed” Libby said quietly, thinking to herself how lucky she was. “I don’t know about you, but I think I need a good night’s sleep after that? Would you erm, like to stay here tonight?” 

John would be lying if he said he wasn't tempted, but he was a gentleman deep down and knew it was best to politely decline, for both their sakes. There would be plenty of time in the coming weeks and months to get more intimately acquainted. 

“That sounds great, but...though I think it’s best if I don’t if that’s ok...we both need a good night's rest, it’s almost midnight!”   
Libby was secretly relieved and impressed that John had turned her down, he was showing great restraint and respect towards her. That was another reason he was the right man for her.

“No problem at all” Libby smiled, “We must set something up soon for our next date though, let me know what you have in mind” 

“Of course, I’ll get my thinking cap on. Well, I’ll leave you to it now Libby, thank you again for a lovely evening...and for dinner” 

They shared one last deep kiss before Libby escorted John to the door, “You’re very welcome John, thank you for being such wonderful company. Goodnight, and sleep well, I’ll see you tomorrow” 

“Goodnight Libby, you too my love” 

Libby watched John leave and head back downstairs with a warm tingly feeling in her chest. She had no idea what John had planned for their third date, but she couldn’t wait to find out.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Libby hit the buffers briefly, but work through it, only to face one more hurdle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 19...19! We're close to the end now, I hope you're still enjoying this, any comments would be very welcome!

Libby could never be described as spoilt, overly fussy or demanding. She had manners and had been taught from a very young age to appreciate what she had in life and to not raise her expectations too high. Yet despite that she still couldn’t help feeling confused and a little disappointed with her current situation. 

Libby was having a great time dating John, of that there was no question. She very much enjoyed his company and for once in her life had found a man who treated her lovingly and with respect, but not once in the 8 weeks since they’d taken the first step had John taken her out anywhere. Their dates had always been in the house, with them taking turns in cooking for each other.

Libby had offered more than once to treat John to dinner and a cocktail or two in town but John would always refuse with the same answer.

“Let’s stay home tonight my love” 

Initially Libby had been fine with it, she was basking in the joy and warm fuzzy glow of starting a new relationship, and would have been happy with anything John suggested. She also understood that he craved privacy due to some unfortunate events in the past, but now? Well, she was starting to get annoyed, and dare she say it…a little bored. 

Bored...that was hardly a word Libby had expected to associate with John, and it gave her mixed emotions including a lot of guilt for how she was feeling...but it was justified, wasn’t it? 

Libby was hardly expecting to be wined and dined at the Savoy or the Ritz with champagne and lobster every weekend, but the occasional meal out at a local restaurant or cozy pub would be nice, or even just an afternoon wander around the shops together with a coffee. John however seemed reluctant. Libby had worried at one point that John might get fed up with her, but now it seemed that the tables had turned. 

Libby was confused, and feeling hurt. 

Something had to give. 

It all came to a head one Friday evening when yet again John had insisted on staying home. Libby had pasted on a smile, gritted her teeth and gone along with it but couldn’t help feeling resentful. She was starting to get itchy feet, and was worried she may do or say something harmful without thinking if she didn’t speak up soon. 

Come on Libs, just be honest with him about how you feel. You have to say something before you explode.

The ideal opportunity to talk it through presented itself when John and Libby were having coffee in the lounge after dinner. The meal had been nice enough but she wasn’t in the mood for any fooling around, and didn’t miss the slightly hurt and confused look on John’s face when she decided to sit across from him in his armchair rather than snuggle on the sofa as they usually did. 

“...Erm, Libby, is there something wrong my love? You’ve not seemed yourself all evening” 

Libby sighed deeply, took a long sip of her coffee and met John’s concerned gaze. 

“...Tonight has been lovely John, really it has...but I need to ask you something, something important, well...it’s important to me anyway”

“...Okay?…” John looked very worried.

“Is...is there a reason we haven’t been out anywhere together yet?”

John looked startled and then annoyed, he clearly hadn’t been expecting such a question. He was flustered and initially didn’t know how to respond. 

“...Well, I...I erm...I...not really no...but what’s the problem, what’s the rush?”

Libby had to fight hard to keep her face straight and her voice calm. 

“I don’t want to sound demanding or ungrateful, I really don't, but it’s been almost two months now. Isn’t it about time we started doing things properly?” 

“...Who’s to say we’re not?” John countered in irritation, “In any case, after working so hard all day the last thing I thought you’d want is to be dragged out across London to some place that might not be any good...staying home is easier, and less pressure...and we don’t have to wait for a taxi to get home...you agreed with me that was a good idea” 

Oh here we go...

“Yes…alright, I did agree with you about the taxi thing, I’ll give you that, but you’re missing the point John, shouldn’t you have asked me first before making assumptions? What makes you think I wouldn’t want to go out somewhere after work? I do it all the time with my friends, it’s a good way to unwind. Besides I’m sure there are plenty of places nearby within walking distance we could go to”

John frowned slightly, he clearly didn’t like where the conversation was going. 

“Libby...look, alright I’m sorry ok, I...I shouldn’t have assumed that, you’re right. Now can we just forget it please and enjoy the rest of our evening?”

Oh no...you’re not getting away without giving me a proper answer Mr.

“John, you’ve not answered the question” Libby replied softly, doing her best to remain calm. 

“....I just thought you preferred staying at home, is that so bad?”

“John...I’ve offered to take you out myself more than once. Doesn’t that tell you something?” 

“I…thought you were just being polite….what’s wrong with staying home anyway? You said yourself the house is beautiful, it’s the perfect setting”

This is ridiculous, is he winding me up?

“Ordinarily there’s little wrong with it, but in case you hadn’t noticed we live in the same house, and I work here as well. I’m here 24,7. We’re not your average dating couple. Don’t you think I need a change of scenery sometimes?”

“You just said you go out with your friends a lot, so it’s not like you’re stuck here at all I think you’ll find actually” John snapped angrily, “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal of this, If it’s not good enough for you then you know where the door is” 

John immediately regretted his words as he saw the shocked and hurt look on Libby’s face. 

“You...you don’t mean that…” Libby pleaded with a wobbly voice. 

John said nothing for a moment, choosing instead to clam up and look at his hands, desperately wishing he could turn the clock back and take back what he’d said. He was angry and upset, but Libby didn’t deserve that. After what seemed like forever he finally found his voice, “...No...no of course not…I shouldn’t have said that...”

Libby stood in frustration and walked over towards the window for some fresh air with tears threatening to fall. She stared silently out into the garden for a moment with her fists clenching and unclenching slowly at her side, willing her growing frustration and anger to dissipate. She feared that things may get ugly. 

“John, what are you so scared of?” 

“...Sorry?” 

“What are you so scared of?” Libby repeated a little more firmly. 

“I’m not scared of anything” John replied with gritted teeth, his arms now folded across his chest defensively. He was starting to struggle himself with keeping his composure. 

“Well you must be, there’s no reason at all that I can think of to always stay home, you’re not housebound. People who’ve been together for years go out from time to time, so why haven’t we yet? It may seem insignificant, but it’s important to me”

“....I….” John didn’t know what to say, he had his reasons for putting things off, but had no intention of revealing them, it was simply too painful. 

“You don’t want to be seen with me do you?” Libby asked quietly.

“What?!” John looked up in horror. 

“Well there’s no other explanation, is there?” 

“That’s not true!” 

“So let’s go out this weekend then. We don’t have to go far, just to a local pub. We can probably walk it in ten minutes. One drink John, that’s all I ask...just one. Please, it’ll be lovely...”

“...No, no I can’t...I’m sorry” 

Libby was incredulous. John was in no way a recluse or sad old hermit as the press often made him out to be. He left the house most days to see his friends and family, so why on earth was he being so stubborn and pig headed now? 

Libby suddenly had a lightbulb moment, and it made her heart sink. 

“Right...I get it, I see. You’re happy to be seen out with your mates down the golf course but not with me in town? You’re ashamed of me aren't you? You can’t bear the thought of being seen with a new partner who just happens to be a much younger woman” 

“I beg your pardon?!”

LIbby was beyond caring how angry she came across now, the red mist had descended and John was going to bear the brunt of it. 

“You heard! You’re happy to wine and dine me here behind closed doors, and seduce me into giving you a blow job, but you can’t bear the thought of Joe Public seeing me on your arm. I’m your dirty little secret” 

“How dare you!” John was aghast, looking as if he’d just been punched in the gut.

“Well it’s true isn’t it?! Why else do you insist on never taking me out? I’m not talking about a slap up meal either, a sodding bag of chips and a pint would do. Christ, all I want is to enjoy your company somewhere other than within these four bloody walls, which I don’t think is too much to ask”

“....”

“Nothing to say John, no? You’re bloody good at that aren’t you? Well I’m sorry, but if the age gap between us was too much of an issue then you should have been honest with me…I’m not gonna sit around and be your stop gap or fuck buddy until someone more suitable for you comes along” 

Libby stood with her hands on her hips, breathing heavily. She was well and truly pissed off and wanted John to know it. 

With no response from John other than a wide eyed stare, Libby continued her furious tirade.

“Stunned you into silence have I? Oh diddums, well I’m sorry, but the truth hurts and you need to hear it”

“Libby…” John warned quietly. 

“No, I’m sorry John but I’ve had enough...”

“Libby, stop….”

“I don’t understand what your problem is John, for fucks sake. Why do you care so much about what people might think? Because I’m damn sure they don’t give a toss about you”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” 

John surprised himself with his sudden outburst, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. He had tears in his eyes which he made a half hearted attempt to wipe away. 

“It’s complicated, you wouldn’t understand” 

“You don’t know that” Libby replied, her voice wobbling slightly. 

John rubbed a hand across his face, “...I...I’m not ashamed of you, I could never be ashamed of you...you make me happy...” 

“Then what the hell is going on?” Libby asked, her anger starting to subside a little, “There’s something bothering you and I want to know what it is, I NEED to know if we’re going to get past this. Tell me John please, let me help you”

John sighed deeply and looked up to meet Libby’s tearful and concerned face. 

“..…”

He looked crestfallen, devastated, and heart broken by their argument, but he couldn’t find the words to express himself. 

All the fight and anger drained out of Libby at that point, and she deeply regretted her actions. She felt awful for what she’d said, for letting her emotions take over. This was exactly what she’d wanted to avoid by bringing the subject up in the first place. She walked slowly back to the sofa and gingerly took a seat next to John. She picked up his hand and traced a gentle pattern across his palm. 

“I’m so sorry….I’m so so sorry that I got upset and I’m really sorry for shouting at you, but I just can’t help how I feel. Something’s holding you back, I can tell. Please tell me what it is. Whatever you tell me won’t leave this room I promise, you can trust me. ”

John swallowed hard, and rubbed at his eyes. 

“I’m sorry for shouting as well...like I said I’m not ashamed at all of being with you or embarrassed, far from it. It’s just that, I...I went through a difficult time a few years ago, and the press had a field day with it. I was hounded for months, the kids were targeted and Ronnie too…this is all starting to bring back some bad memories that I’d rather try and forget”

Libby smiled sadly to herself. She knew exactly what John was referring to having read about it a few months back. She hadn’t known whether to believe it or not at the time but now John had answered that question for her. It also explained John’s recent behaviour. Libby thought long and hard before responding, she was going to have to handle this delicately. 

“The press can be vicious bastards, that’s how they sell papers unfortunately. Especially when they think they have a juicy story they can run, they latch on and won’t let go. If it’s any consolation though...she was pretty fit”

John looked up suddenly with astonishment written across his face. “...Wh...what?!”

“The stripper” Libby said calmly with a completely straight face, “Emma. I think that was her name?”

“....How...how did you?...”

“John, like or not, you're still a public figure that people are interested in because of your past, even though you’ve been retired for years. There’s stuff about you all over the internet if you know where to look. I simply got curious one day and had a nose, you can’t be surprised by that surely?”

John’s face went bright red and he cringed, looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him up there and then. He slumped forward with his head in his hands and groaned loudly. 

“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of” Libby said in reassurance, “You had a mid life crisis and banged a stripper, so what? We’ve all done stupid things that we regret at least once, I’m no exception”

John sat bolt upright and turned to glare at Libby with embarrassment written all over his face, “...It wasn’t like that...I...I never slept with her, we were just friends...it was only meant to be a bit of fun...”

”You don’t need to justify yourself to me, I’m not one to judge”

John was perplexed at how nonchalant and completely unbothered Libby was being about it all. 

“How are you ok with it? I thought you’d be disgusted with me…and would run a mile”

“Of course not! You have a past, who doesn’t? It’s just that yours is a little more colourful than most. I dare say some of what I’ve read about you has been embellished somewhat, but yeah you’ve done some freaky stuff in your time but guess what? I don’t care. You were a rock star in the biggest band on earth. I’d have been surprised if you didn’t get up to some crazy shit from time to time”

John smiled despite himself, Libby had really surprised him with her point of view. 

“You never fail to amaze me, you know that?” 

Libby gave a small smile in return. The atmosphere in the room was now much calmer to her relief, and it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted. Sometimes forcing the floodgates open really was worth it.

“I’m just realistic, and not easily shocked. So we’re ok now? We’re friends again?” Libby asked tentatively. 

“Of course we are” John chuckled softly, “Come here sweetheart…” He held his arms open and pulled Libby into a hug, squeezing her gently. There were a few residual tears amongst their soft kisses which were swiftly wiped away. 

Libby let out a deep sigh as she nuzzled against John’s shoulder. She felt a little happier but wouldn’t be able to rest until she’d cleared things up with him.

“John, I erm...I need to apologise for what I said, and for stressing you out. I get it now, in a good way that is. I understand what’s going on with you, and it totally makes sense”

“It’s ok” John replied, “I can see your point, and I get why you were upset. I’m sorry too. It’s just that...well, I erm…”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you really don’t want to, but you might find it helps?” Libby suggested hopefully. She wanted John to open up to her, and with any luck offload some of the baggage that was clearly weighing him down. 

“You’d make a good therapist you know” John murmured, “You’re very persuasive”

“Thanks, but I don’t think therapists are supposed to shout at their clients? I wouldn’t last very long”

John openly laughed at that, “Alright. Ok, look. I admit I’ve not handled things brilliantly in certain areas since we started dating. The truth is...you were right. I am scared, I’m scared of what might happen when word gets out about us. I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s ok to be scared, and it’s ok that you feel that way, I’m not offended honestly. All I ask is that you don’t hide it from me. What do you think might happen though? What’s the worst case scenario in your mind?” 

“That history will repeat itself, that I’ll be vilified in the press, and branded a sad old man. That I’ll be pestered and followed everywhere I go. It’ll be splashed all over the papers, the kids will be hounded again…” John sighed deeply, “It’s pathetic I know…”

“It’s not, it’s not at all. But you can’t let it ruin your life either. I can understand your hesitance, but what happened all those years ago is a lot different to where you are now isn’t it? You can’t really compare the two in my opinion. If the press or anyone else gets their knickers in a twist over it then so what? Let them. Just smile and laugh about it and carry on, they’ll soon get bored if they don’t get the reaction they want and will look for their next victim. 

“You make it sound so easy”

“I’ll admit I have no experience in dealing with the press, none at all, but that’s just what I think. Don’t give the press any headspace, if you expect the worst to happen then it probably will”

“You really think it will be ok?” John asked quietly.

“Yes, I do. We’re together now, and I like to think we will be for a long time...I know it’s early days, but I’m enjoying myself at least, I like to think you are too?” 

“Of course I am” John replied with conviction, “I don’t want to stop seeing you over this, but...oh christ, I just don’t know what to do” 

“Look, I think it’s best we take things one step at a time, break you in gently so to speak, how does that sound?” Libby suggested. 

“What do you mean?” John sounded sceptical. 

“Well, how about we have that drink. Just one. I literally mean we go to the pub up the street, have one beer or whatever and then come back home. The next time we stay a little longer, and gradually build it up from there. Before you know it they’ll have to drag us home kicking and screaming” 

John nodded thoughtfully, he had to admit it did make sense. 

“OK…I’d like to stick to our regular dinner dates here for the time being if that’s alright, but I’m happy to venture out too like you said and see how it goes”

“Perfect” Libby smiled, “You won’t regret it, I promise. I know you’ve suffered in the past, you were going through a difficult time and were stressed so you made some poor choices, but this time will be different. I know it”

John smiled nervously. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he owed to both himself and Libby to try. 

……………………………………………………

“John love, are you ready to go?” 

Libby checked her hair in the hallway mirror one last time as she waited for John to join her. He’d been true to his word and agreed to accompany her to a local pub for a drink, a huge step for the man who admitted he was terrified of being seen out in public with a new partner. 

Libby had checked out some nearby watering holes and settled on one just over 5 minutes walk away which seemed to be both cozy and friendly. At least the website had sold it to her with its pictures of happy punters supping their beers in a lush looking pub garden, and an impressive range of gins on offer.

On paper it was perfect. 

“Ok, let’s do it” John didn’t look totally convinced, but grabbed his jacket anyway and opened the front door to leave before he could lose his nerve and change his mind. 

“So...where exactly are we going then?” John asked. 

“The White Hart, it’s on the Upper Richmond Road. Before we leave though, I’ve erm, bought you something…”

John frowned in confusion then burst out laughing as Libby revealed what she was hiding behind her back. A comedy fake pair of sunglasses with a huge plastic nose and mustache attached. 

“Where did you get that?!” 

“From the joke shop on the high street, good aren’t they?!” 

John put the glasses on and looked at himself in the mirror, “I look ridiculous” he laughed, “like one of the Marx brothers!” He had to admit it was funny though, he’d always been a fan of pranks and practical jokes. 

“I hope you’re not offended?” Libby asked, “But I couldn’t resist, and I hoped it would it give you a good laugh” 

“It’s certainly done that alright, I think I’ll save these for a special occasion” John smiled with a wink. 

Thank god, Libby thought with relief. It had been a risky strategy, but one that had seemed to have paid off. Anything to take John’s mind off his apparent nervousness and make him smile. It had been £5 very well spent. 

“So what’s your poison then John, what do you normally go for when you fancy a quick one” Libby asked as they headed out. 

John’s mouth twitched and his eyes sparkled with mischief as he considered his answer, “Personally I prefer the sofa but the kitchen table can be good fun as well….”

...What?......!!!!

Libby’s eyes went wide and she almost choked on thin air as she realised what John meant. She turned to him with her mouth open and lightly smacked him on the arm. 

“You cheeky sod, that’s not what I meant!” She laughed, “....and you know it!” 

Saying that though...I wouldn’t mind a quick romp on the kitchen table one day, it could be fun...

John waggled his eyebrows in response, and put his arm around Libby’s shoulders protectively. 

“Ok, ok...but you didn’t mention alcohol did you?!” He laughed, “Seriously though, I’m quite partial to a pint of bitter, or the odd whiskey and cola. Nice and simple. Goes great with a bag of crisps too” 

“A pint of Fuller’s Pride and a bag of cheese and onion then, sounds like a plan. I think we can manage that” Libby replied, “I personally prefer a pint of Stella or a bottle of Becks” 

“Well you are a classy bird aren’t you?” 

“Charming!” 

John simply laughed and pecked Libby on the cheek, something that she never would have dreamed of on their first time out in public together. This was looking promising...very promising. With any luck that would continue. 

The pub Libby had chosen was surprisingly quiet for a Saturday evening, not that she was complaining, it made it easy to grab a table. 

“Looks like you made the right choice Libby” John exclaimed as they headed inside, “I was secretly hoping we’d end up somewhere not too busy or noisy. I can’t stand it when it’s so loud that you can’t hear yourself think” 

“Oh I agree” Libby nodded, “There’s a time and a place for that, and this isn’t it”

With drinks in hand they bagged a table in a corner by the window, but also close enough to the door for a quick exit if necessary. 

“Well cheers then John” 

“Cheers Libby, here’s to us” 

John clinked glasses with Libby before giving her a quizzical look, “I never would have taken you as a Guinness drinker?” 

“Oh it’s lovely stuff, though the real thing in Dublin is far superior. This will put hairs on your chest”

“In your case I sincerely hope it won’t” John quipped, “God I haven’t been to Dublin in years. Nice place though from what I remember”

“Oh it is, I went there for my 21st. Belfast is great too, it’s compact and walkable with a lot of very friendly people. It’s a lovely little city”

John took a sip of his pint, doing his best to make it last as long as possible which hadn’t gone unnoticed by his companion. 

“So...how are you feeling?” Libby asked, “Is this ok?” 

“Erm...yeah, it’s, it’s fine...better than I expected actually. I have to admit…I think you were right” 

“Good! I mean, i'm not trying to gloat, I’m just glad you’re ok and not feeling uncomfortable. That’s not what I want for either of us”

John reached forward and took Libby’s hand, resisting the urge to check out their surroundings first to see if anyone was watching them.   
“You would never do that intentionally I know that. In fact, I have to admit you’ve done me a huge favour. I would never have done this if you hadn’t talked me into it. I would have been content to hide away at home for ever, and never know what I was missing out on” 

“I didn’t like doing that, pushing you so hard, I really didn’t” Libby said with sad eyes, “I felt so awful…”

“Well you shouldn’t” John replied firmly, “You were only being honest with me and that’s a good thing, I want us to always be honest with each other...you’ve taught me how important that is” 

Libby smiled warmly and squeezed John’s hand, “Absolutely...so anyway, do you have any plans for the rest of the weekend?”

“Not this weekend no, I have some free time for once, but erm, there is something I need to confess...”

This sounds ominous 

“Go on?” 

“Well, it’s my birthday towards the end of the month, usually we all troop up to Edinburgh to see my eldest and his wife and kids for a few days, but this year it seems there’s been a change of plan…”

“Ok?”

“One of my grandsons let slip yesterday that the family are planning a garden party for me…at the house...next weekend”

Libby let out a nervous laugh, “Oh how lovely, and so thoughtful of them. That sounds like fun”

“I’m really sorry, I was going to mention it last night but…” John trailed off looking a little sheepish.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I expected you’d be spending your big day with your family anyway, it’s not a problem. I can make myself scarce for a couple of days...perhaps we could have dinner together to celebrate afterwards? Anywhere you want, my treat!” 

“You really don’t mind? I’m sorry this is all so sudden, but yes, dinner together sounds perfect….Erm, I also haven’t had the chance to mention erm, well...mention us to the kids yet…it’s been a busy few weeks...it’s been hard to find the right moment you know?”

Libby tried to not let the disappointment show on her face, but she knew she had to be patient.   
She had no idea how John’s children would react to them being an item, especially as she was his assistant, even though his ex-wife had given them her blessing. That would be a very delicate conversation to have, potentially six times over, and she didn’t envy him for that at all. She’d gotten the impression so far that his extended family were a complicated lot. 

“It’s ok, really. It’ll be a good excuse to see my bestie for a bit, I haven’t seen her properly in weeks, so yeah it’s cool, honestly”

“Where does your friend live? Is she in London?” John asked as he finished off his pint.

“Yes she’s in Stratford, just round the corner from the London stadium….so I won’t be too far away”

“Excellent, I don’t know that part of town but I’ve heard it’s good for shopping and nightlife”

“Oh it is….it really is” Libby replied with a slight smirk, she had the feeling she may well end up coming back from her weekend away with the questionable results of an epic hungover shopping session….again. She would never learn. 

John had been so comfortable in his surroundings that a good hour had passed before either him or Libby noticed. Libby herself had fully expected them to be in and out within twenty minutes, this was very encouraging. 

“Well, I don’t know about you John, but I’m ready to call it quits now and head home?” Libby suggested as she coaxed the last few drops of Guinness from her glass. 

John’s response almost made Libby fall off her chair. 

“...Let’s have one more, I’m not quite ready to go yet” 

Libby was shocked, but didn’t let it show, she didn’t want to make a big deal of it. “Hmmm...yeah, go on then. It’s your round this time though, mine’s a G&T thanks” 

Libby smiled as John shot her a wink before he headed to the bar. She had a real good feeling in her bones, that the future wouldn’t be as much as work as she’d feared. Yep, everything was going to be fine. Nothing could wipe the smile off her face.

Not a thing. 

……………………………………………….

One week later Libby was preparing herself for a weekend away from the madness that was about to descend on the house, with the impending arrival of John’s family. She was keen to make a move before they showed up, she didn’t fancy being interrogated or feeling like she was on show.   
“So what time do you think you’ll get here?” Harriet asked when Libby called to confirm things. 

“3pm? That ok? I want to stop off at the gym en route, I haven’t had a decent workout in ages”

“I wouldn’t have thought you needed the gym now you have a man…” 

Libby laughed out loud and blushed a little, truth be told she and John had been having some really good fun of late in the bedroom department, but hadn't been brave enough to go all the way yet. Libby shared most things with her bestie, but that was definitely something she would be keeping to herself. 

“Never you mind about that!” Libby laughed, “We’re having fun and that’s all you need to know”

“Oh you spoilsport! You wait, I’ll get the juicy details out of you after a few drinks tonight”

Oh no you bloody won’t.

“Yeah, yeah...look, I’d better make a move now. The cavalry will be here shortly”

“It’s a bit much that you’re being forced out of your own bloody home because of that lot isn’t it?” 

Oh Christ, don’t start this again.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind. Besides I get to spend a few days with my favourite friend! The alternative is being locked down in the flat until they leave and I am not doing that” 

“I’m looking forward to some quality girls time too my love, but I still think it’s pretty shitty of them. They gave you virtually no notice either, I mean what’s that all about?”

“Well it’s not their fault really, I mean they erm, do know about me...that I’m John’s assistant at least, but erm…” 

“Your new fellas family don’t know you guys are dating do they?” Harriet asked accusingly. 

“...Not exactly no”

“God's sake, it’s been what? Over two months? He’s dragging his heels a bit isn’t he?!” 

I don’t have time for this.

“Haz, in case you’d forgotten the man is newly divorced. He has a lot of baggage, so I have to be patient. Like it or not, he has a very large family and he needs to consider their feelings as well as mine, and his own. He’ll tell them when the time’s right”  
“Hmmm…well I just hope you’re right about that Libs, and that he isn’t taking you for a ride”

“Oh of course he isn’t, stop fretting! Now I really do have to go, I’ll call you when I’m at the station. See you later!”

“Alright, see you soon hun, have a good journey. I’ll get the wine on ice!”

Libby grabbed her overnight bag, made a quick check she hadn’t forgotten anything and then headed for the door, hoping she’d have a chance to say a proper goodbye to John before she left. She was pretty desperate to be long gone before the hoards arrived and took over the house, making themselves at home. 

“Oh there you are sweetheart, I thought for a minute you’d already gone” John called out as he spotted Libby coming down the stairs into the hallway. He looked a little stressed.

“I’m just leaving. Don’t worry I was going to come find you to say goodbye, I wouldn’t go without doing that”

John pulled Libby into a fierce hug, squeezing her tightly. “I’m gonna miss you so much” He mumbled into her hair, “I wish you didn’t have to go”

“It’s only for a couple of day’s love, and it is best that I’m not here when your family arrives, it’ll just be too awkward otherwise, you know that. I’ll be back tomorrow night, and then you can tell me all about it” 

John smiled sadly, nodding in reluctant agreement. “Yeah, you’re right” He sighed, “I love seeing everyone of course I do, I’d just rather it was on my terms you know? I’m not a fan of surprises...even if it is for my benefit”

“You’ll be fine! Embrace it, enjoy yourself and let them look after you” Libby insisted, before adding with a wink, ”Then I can take care of you when I’m back...”

“Mmmm, I’m looking forward to that already” 

John leaned forward and kissed Libby deeply, breathing in her scent and savouring it. “You’d better go now, have you got a taxi booked?” 

“No, I’m going to the gym first then I’ll take the bus. Right, I’m off, have a nice time!”

Libby checked the coast was clear and then sneaked one last kiss from John on the doorstep “Have a good time with your friend” John called out as she headed off, “See you tomorrow, text me when you get there” 

Libby breathed a sigh of relief as she made it to the end of the street and the relative safety of the main road before the extended Deacon family arrived. At least she thought she had…  
She hadn’t noticed the occupants of a silver car parked a few yards from the house watching her activities with a look of disbelief and growing horror. 

…”Did you see that?! Some woman kissing your Dad?!” 

“...Yes I did….and she looks an awful lot like Dads PA. I knew this would happen. What the bloody hell are they playing at?” 

The answer to that question would soon become very clear.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Deacon family discover John and Libby's relationship

“There she is! My little Libbsiebums!” 

“You what?! Have you been on the sauce already?!” Libby laughed as she crossed the threshold of Harriets flat. 

“How rude! All I’ve had today so far is a pot of coffee thank you very much, I’ve saved the good stuff until you got here. Anyway, can’t I just be happy to see my favourite friend?”

_ What’s she after?!  _

“Course you can, just….leave off with the dodgy nicknames yeah? You make me sound about 5 years old!” 

“Oh stop whining, you love it really” Harriet said as she relieved Libby of her bag and handed her a glass of wine, “Now, come get comfy my love and get that down you”

Libby signed gratefully as she flopped out on the sofa and took her first sip of her favourite pinot grigio. She had to admit she needed it after the emotionally draining day she’d had. 

“So you managed to escape in time before your future in-laws arrived then?”

_ Eh?  _

“In-laws? What are you talking about?! That makes absolutely no sense Haz. Are you sure you’ve only had coffee today?” 

“Oh you know what I mean” Harriet waved her hand dismissively, “Step-family then, miss pedantic!”

“Jumping the gun a bit aren’t you?”

“I didn't say a word!”

“No of course not” Libby rolled her eyes, “You don’t need to buy a hat just yet alright, calm down! But yes...I did get away fine thanks. It was a bit of a close shave I’ll admit, thanks to me sleeping through my sodding alarm, but no major dramas really” 

“All this secrecy and creeping about, anyone would think you were dating royalty or someone famous” Harriet joked.

“.....”

Harriet frowned at Libby’s silence, then her eyes went wide at the shifty look on her best friend's face. 

“You are, aren't you?” 

“I am what?” Libby asked a little nervously, unable to look Harriet in the eye. 

“John. He’s famous isn’t he? That’s why you’ve been so cagey about him! You’re dating someone famous!” 

_ Oh shit. _

“Well, I erm...”

“I knew it! I bloody well knew it! You little tinker! How could you keep this from me?!”

_ Good one Libs, you’ll never hear the end of it now.  _

“Look Haz hun, please don’t….”

“What’s his surname?” Harriet demanded whilst getting out her phone.

_ Oh god no... _

“.....”

“Come on!” 

“....Bloody hell. Erm, oh Christ...alright...alright! I’ll tell you, but you have to keep this to yourself, please! Promise me!” 

Harriet gave Libby a withering look, “What do you take me for? Give me some credit please, discretion is my middle name”

Libby knew deep down she could trust Harriet to be discreet, she trusted the woman with her life, but outing herself and John for want of a better word still felt like a betrayal. She could only hope she wouldn’t live to regret it. 

“....His...his full name is John Deacon” Libby blurted out and watched with bated breath as Harriet tapped away at her phone. 

“...Bloody hell…” Harriet's eyes went wide and she looked up at Libby, her mouth open in shock. 

“He’s a rock star, a world famous multi-millionaire rock star...and not just any old rock star, he was in Queen!” 

“Yes I had noticed that” Libby deadpanned. 

“No wonder you kept it quiet” Harriet breathed in awe, “My god…”

Libby shifted uncomfortably as Harriet continued scrolling through her phone, a range of emotions flickered across her face as she no doubt came across a few interesting facts and figures, blurting out anything that caught her eye. 

“....Oooh I never knew he wrote that, that’s a great song!....He has six kids?!....They played at Live Aid!....He was very cute back in the day…..Oh I say he’s a big lad isn’t he?! You lucky girl!....”

“Yes alright! Thank you” Libby could feel her cheeks flaming red with embarrassment.

“Well you really have landed on your feet with this one haven’t you? I’m impressed! Though I do have to admit, he’s not the type I thought you’d go for”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Libby replied with an irritated frown. 

“...Well, I don’t want to be rude Libs, but he’s not exactly a looker is he?”

_ Bloody cheek! I come here for a fun weekend and get insulted about my taste in men instead! _

“Do you mind? There’s no need for that! Any recent photos of John online were taken without his permission. He was caught unawares and they are not flattering at all, it’s not his fault, Besides, he may not be your type but he is definitely mine” Libby replied a little defensively.

Harriet winced, wishing she could take back what she’d said. She could be brutally honest at times and often had no filter especially when in the company of those closest to her. She said what was on her mind before her brain had a chance to process it and give her a moment to consider the implications. 

Harriet looked away for a moment, considering her next words very carefully for a change. That was something she would have to work hard to remember from now on. 

“...Oh there I go again, shooting my mouth off!” Harriet laughed a little nervously, trying to lighten the mood and turn what she’d said into a joke. “Don’t listen to me! You like John, he likes you so that’s all that matters” 

Libby nodded, “Yes, exactly so leave off with the cheap jibes please. He has a lovely smile I’ll have you know. He’s very handsome and charming when he’s content and smiling…besides, it’s not all about looks, I’m not that shallow anymore. My days of going for braindead clothes horses with model looks are long gone. John is a very kind man. He’s intelligent and funny too with a great sense of humour, and I really enjoy his company”

Harriet smiled warmly at her friend, finally putting her phone away. “You really do like him don’t you?” She asked quietly, “This isn’t just a bit of fun is it, this is serious?”

“Yes I do, I really do like him, and no I’m not sodding about either, this is for real. We’re having a great time together. Alright he has a few quid but I’m not interested in that. I didn’t even know who he was when I went for the job as his PA. I’m not with him for attention or the money, I don’t care about his past either, I'm with him because of who he is now!” Libby slammed her fist suddenly on the table in frustration making their glasses wobble.. 

“Ok, ok I’m sorry” Harriet apologised quickly, raising her hands in a placating gesture, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you my love, it’s just a bit unexpected that’s all. It’s all a bit of a shock”

Libby took a deep breath and poured herself another glass of wine. “I didn’t mean to be arsey either, Haz, but I don’t want a big deal made of this ok? John may well have been stupidly famous back in the day, and I get he’s still a public figure, but he’s retired now and has been for years. He doesn’t get involved in the music world anymore. He lives a normal quiet life in the suburbs just like any other man out there of his age, and that suits me just fine”

“Well that’s me told” Harriet replied quietly. 

“Look, can we start again?” Libby sighed, “I’m sorry for being so grumpy, I know you mean well and are just excited. I guess it’s not everyday your best mate shacks up with a rich celebrity?”

“You can say that again...”

_ Urgh, what a start to the weekend  _

“Hug it out?” Libby offered. 

The two friends embraced, hugging each other fiercely. Both of them wanted to draw a line under the previous few minutes and get things back to normal. 

“I won’t say another word” Harriet promised, crossing her hand over her chest, “But I’m here if you want to talk. I also will not divulge a thing to anyone, about you and John. My lips are sealed”

Libby smiled gratefully. Harriet wasn’t lying, she really wouldn’t tell a soul about her new relationship, that much she was sure of, and never would unless she had Libby’s blessing. Harriet may be a pain in the arse at times but she wasn’t and never had been a gossip or attention seeker.

“Thanks Haz. It's natural to be interested, I get that, but there isn’t really anything to tell right now where me and John are concerned. We have regular dates, we spend a lot of time together and...well, that’s it! He doesn’t talk about Queen either and I don’t ask”

Harriet was full of questions that she was itching to ask, but kept her mouth shut out of respect for her friend. Libby would open up to her eventually about her love life and being with John, and she was prepared to wait as long as it took. 

“I’m just happy that you’re happy” Harriet smiled, “More wine? I have a lovely bottle of red that I picked up this morning, plus some snacks to go with it”

“I’m amazed you managed to get up early enough to go shopping” Libby quipped. 

“Some of us aren't sleepyheads or lazy arses thank you!” 

Libby laughed out loud at that. She felt a lot more relaxed and chilled having got a few things off her chest. She hadn’t intended to blow her cover so soon but having it out in the open actually felt quite liberating. She could also feel confident in that fact that her secret was safe. 

“So, what do you fancy doing this evening then?” Harriet asked, “We could go see a film, or grab some dinner?”

Libby sipped at her wine thoughtfully, what she was about to say seemed incredibly ironic given recent events. “Nah, let's stay in tonight hun. We haven’t had a proper catch up in ages and you can’t really do that at the cinema. I want to hear all about your new job and your trip to Newcastle last month. Those pics you put on Instagram looked very interesting!” 

“Ah, now there’s a good story behind that, that’s for sure! You’re gonna love this!” Harriet began with a glint in her eye. “Get yourself comfy my dear, this might take a while!”

…………………

_ I knew I should have put my foot down over this. _

John could feel his anxiety building as he spotted the first of his “surprise” visitors make their way up the path to the house, peering through the curtains in the dining room. He considered briefly locking himself in the basement and pretending he wasn’t at home but knew that wouldn’t work seeing as his car was on the drive. 

John grabbed his phone and fired off a quick text to Libby, hoping for a reaffirming reply to make him feel better.

**John:** *They’re here, help me!*

**Libby:** *Don’t panic! It’ll be fine, you’ll have a great time with them all*

**John:** *I love seeing them, but not all at bloody once like this! This is going to be a nightmare!* 

**Libby:** *Relax, take a deep breath. Just think of all the nice presents and cards they’ll have for you*

**John** : *The only present I want is some peace and bloody quiet!*

**Libby** : *It’s only for one day, don’t stress! It’ll be over before you know it. I’ll be home tomorrow night and then you can tell me all about it*

**John** : *Yeah...alright, better go now, they’re at the door. See you tomorrow xx*

**Libby** : *Have fun! Xx*

John quickly shoved his phone in his pocket away from prying eyes and headed to the door. He couldn’t put things off any longer. He pasted on a thrilled expression as he opened the door and was met with the smiling faces of his two oldest grandchildren Lily and Milo who were jumping around in excitement. 

“Grandad!”

“Grandpa John!”

“Hello you! What’s all this then?!” 

“Happy birthday! We’ve got presents for you!”

John laughed as a bag of brightly wrapped gifts was practically thrown at him, before the two little tykes briefly hugged him then barged past him into the house. John shook his head in amusement and then went to greet their parents.

“Hello Dad, sorry about that” Robert apologised with a slight chuckle whilst holding his hand out in greeting, “We had an early start, the kids have been up since the crack of dawn and they were chomping at the bit to get here” 

“That’s ok son, it’s good to see you all, did you not stay over in London last night then?”

“No we flew in this morning” Roberts' wife Anna replied, “I had a book launch yesterday I was committed to and I couldn’t get away in time to fly down last night. It’s all been a bit chaotic!”

John nodded in understanding as they made their way to the lounge. His daughter in law had a very successful career as a photographer which took up most of her time, plus a serious interest in open water swimming which she had written several books about. John had made sure to buy a copy of each one to support her, even if he didn’t understand or really appreciate the subject that much himself. 

“Can I get you both a coffee?” John offered once Robert and Anna were both settled. 

“Yes please Dad, thanks”

“Yes, that would be lovely John thank you” Anna agreed, “Erm, before you do though, we understand that Michael let the cat out of the bag about your meant-to-be surprise party today? Is that right?” 

“It was Jona actually” John replied, “The little monkey muscled in on a video call I had with Mike and Leila last weekend and just blurted it out”

“Typical” Robert said with a roll of his eyes, “That lot never can keep a secret”

“You can’t blame them Rob, the boys are both very young still and it’s not fair to expect them to keep secrets at all, about anything at their age” John countered, “Besides, you should all know very well by now that I do not like or appreciate surprises”

Robert and Anna shared a look which didn’t go unnoticed. 

“What?” John asked with a hint of irritation, “Look, I’m very pleased to have everyone here today, I really am, but it should have been discussed and arranged with me first alright? Suppose I already had plans and had gone away for the weekend? If anyone considers pulling a similar stunt again then I simply won’t answer the door”

Robert opened his mouth to say something but then changed his mind for some reason, which prompted Anna to speak for him instead.

“We’re sorry John, we all just wanted to do something nice for you, after everything you’ve been through the last few months…”

“Yes I get that but…”

“Grandad, come play with us!”

John was interrupted by his only granddaughter Lilly shouting to get his attention from the hallway. He wiped a hand across his face and let out a big sigh. 

“Alright, I’m coming!” He called out in response, then turned to the adults in the room, “We’ll talk about this later, keep an ear out for the others. I’ll be in the garden”

“Doesn’t like surprises, what a load of...what about the surprise he’s about to spring on all of us? About him and his new floozy?!”

“Rob, shush he might hear you! Besides, we don’t know the full story”

“We know enough, you saw them yourself!”

“Well now isn’t the time or place, we’re here for your Dad’s birthday, please don’t ruin it” 

“Don’t ruin what?”

They looked up in surprise at the sound of Cameron’s voice. They’d been so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn’t noticed him appear. He was standing in the doorway watching them with a quizzical expression on his face. 

“Bloody hell Cam, don’t do that mate! You made me jump” Rob chastised his youngest brother, hoping he hadn’t heard too much. 

“Sorry guys, I did knock but no one answered so I used my key. You both ok, you look a little flustered? Good to see you Anna!”

“...Yeah, we’re both fine thanks, just had an early start...Dad’s in the garden with the kids” 

“Oh cool! Are the others here yet?”

“Erm, no” Robert replied, “Not yet, I’m sure they’re on the way though” 

“Well they better get a move on, we have a party to set up! Where are we leaving presents? I’ve bought some bottles and food, are we eating inside or in the garden? The BBQ would be awesome, it’s the perfect day out there for it. Who’s bringing the cake?” 

Robert had to fight hard to not roll his eyes at Camerons ramblings, the youngest of the Deacon siblings hardly stopped for breath when he got going. 

“Just leave the presents in the dining room, and the food in the kitchen yeah? We’ll sort out who’s doing what once everyone is here” 

“Ok! I’m gonna go say hi to Dad” 

“I really hope he didn’t hear us” Robert mumbled once Cameron was out of earshot. 

“Well it’s your own damn fault if he did” Anna replied a little frostily, “You had to bring it up didn’t you? Now please, don’t say another word about it, at least not until you get a chance to speak with your Dad in private. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation” 

“Yeah...course there is” 

……………..

Just over an hour later the house was full of people, ten adults and four children accompanied by two small and energetic dogs. It was a chaotic mixture of noise, laughter and chatter with John stuck in the middle of it all. 

He was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. 

John didn’t do well in crowds of any size, even if said crowd consisted of only his close family. He had suffered through the weddings of his two eldest sons in recent years for the sake of family unity, feeling proud of them both for spreading their wings and starting families of their own, but feeling incredibly self conscious at the same time. 

John’s children and in-laws always did their best to try and keep John calm, treating him not like a famous former rock star, but as a normal everyday person whilst making no reference to his former occupation. It was a well meaning strategy but long term seemed to do more harm than good. 

John’s eldest three would often reminisce amongst themselves of times spent with the band back when they were young children, and their wonderful days on the road touring the world, but wouldn’t dare do the same in John’s company for fear of upsetting him. It was an unwritten rule that anything Queen related was not to be talked about with no exceptions, unless John initiated the conversation himself which never, ever happened. 

The family were incredibly proud of John for his past and his achievements, and wanted to be able to talk about it freely, to celebrate it without making it a big deal but it sadly wasn’t to be. Maybe one day John would feel comfortable and confident enough to speak about his past, but for now the status quo had to be maintained. 

John had taken refuge in a quiet corner of the garden, sipping at a can of beer whilst watching the grandkids run around with the dogs and a football. Smiling to himself at their juvenile and exuberant game of tag. The adults meanwhile were busy preparing plenty of food and drink, and setting up the conservatory overlooking the garden as a makeshift dining room with a pile of presents and cards, and decorations everywhere. The BBQ had been fired up too, ready to cook an array of chicken, burgers and veggies. 

On paper it was the perfect birthday. 

John sighed to himself. He knew he should be grateful, thankful too that he had such a loving family around him who wanted to make him happy, and mark his birthday in such a nice way. He was fortunate to be in that position, many others weren’t so lucky. John felt guilty that all he really wanted was for everyone to go home and for him to have some peace and quiet with just Libby for company. 

She’d only been gone a few hours and John missed Libby terribly. He had to resist the urge to text her every five minutes, guessing that she would probably get annoyed and was most likely busy having fun with her friend anyway. 

John made a vow to never take Libby for granted, and to plan a treat for her as compensation for being kicked out of her home. The woman was a saint and deserved to be treated like one. 

“Hey Dad, what are you doing out here by yourself? You ok?”

John was bought out of his daydream by the arrival of his second youngest son Luke. He had a concerned look on her face as he briskly crossed the lawn towards him. 

“Oh I’m fine mate don’t worry, I just wanted a moment to myself”

Luke didn’t look convinced as he took a seat next to his father, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah...yeah I am. It is nice to have everyone here, and It’s great to see the grandkids again, especially Oden and Jona. They’re growing so fast”

“I know what you mean, they’ll be taller than me soon!”

“So what’s the plan then? How long have I got until my presence is required?”

“I’m not entirely sure to be honest Dad, it all seems a bit like organised chaos in there at the moment”

“And you wonder why I came out here?”

“Alright, fair enough! Let me go see what’s happening, then I’ll bring you another beer”

True to his word Luke returned just a few minutes later clutching two bottles and wearing a smile, his older brother Joshua following close behind. 

“It’s almost all sorted Dad” He said, handing one of the bottles to John, “I take it all back! That lot can get their act together when they want to”

“We know exactly what we’re doing thank you” Joshua replied a little indignantly, “Thanks for your help by the way, and where’s my beer?”

“In the fridge with the rest of them, don’t be lazy”

“Ha! Says he who’s been swanning about trying to look busy, without actually doing anything!”

“Flipping cheek!”

_ Bloody hell, it’s like having a house full of stroppy teenagers again…this is meant to be fun? _

“Alright you two” John interrupted the siblings argument, “Enough of that. I’m not having bust ups at my birthday party, the only one allowed to get the hump is me”

“No one is getting the hump” Luke replied, “Least of all you Dad, this is your party you’re right, so let’s go enjoy it, come on!”

John let himself be dragged back into the house under protest but soon perked up when he realised the amount of effort that everyone had gone to for his benefit. 

The conservatory had been transformed into party heaven with balloons and banners on the walls accompanied by hand drawn pictures from the grandchildren. John made a mental note to make sure he saved them, they’d look great framed in the kitchen or in his studio. 

“There he is, the birthday boy!” Michael announced, “We’re all set now, what do you think Dad?”

“This all looks great, it really does. Thank you so much everyone, I don’t really know what else to say”

“You don’t have to say anything Dad, just enjoy yourself” Michael patted John on the back, “Now what do you think we should do first, food or presents?” 

“Presents Grandad, presents! Open ours first!” 

The room erupted in laughter as the youngest Grandchild Oden interrupted the conversation, jumping up and down in excitement. 

“Ok, ok you little tyke, come on then, let’s see what nice things you’ve bought for me”

It took John a good hour to open all his gifts which to his surprise and delight included bottles of his favourite aftershave, books, shirts, chocolate, cufflinks, vintage whiskey, an iPad and a voucher for dinner at a local top rated restaurant. He hadn’t expected so much. John didn’t let it show on his face, but he felt a little ashamed of himself for being so grumpy earlier. Still, no harm done. 

John made a real effort after that to get over himself and embrace the day, giving himself a good talking to. He forced himself to relax and enjoy his family's company. They had gone out of their way after all to make his birthday special, with his eldest two Robert and Michael in particular both travelling long distances with their wives and children to be there with him. 

With presents opened and everyone settled, the party got into full swing. Several happy hours were spent with the family gathered in the garden; chatting, drinking and eating. Joshua and his girlfriend Nicole were on BBQ duty, whilst Michael and his wife Leila kept everyone's drinks topped up. The grandchildren meanwhile fueled with far too much sugar ran riot around the house and garden, engaging in a lengthy game of hide and seek. 

There was a generally relaxed atmosphere with the conversation flowing easily, punctuated by a lot of laughter, banter and light hearted jokes. It couldn’t have been better. Except for one thing.

Robert was still simmering over what he’d seen earlier in the day. There was an underlying tension slowly growing between him and Anna with Robert wanting to speak up, and his wife preferring to keep quiet.

It was only a matter of time before Robert cracked and things turned ugly.

As the afternoon wore on and turned to evening, and with plenty of alcohol consumed tongues began to loosen, and the subject of partners or a lack of came up. 

“How are things between you and your new girlfriend Luke?” Leila asked, “Everything ok?” 

“What girlfriend?!” Joshua laughed before his younger brother had a chance to answer, “The latest one only lasted two weeks! She dumped him after he convinced her to go to one of his gigs. Turns out she had good taste!” 

Luke had a face like thunder as his siblings stifled their giggles. 

“Oh...I’m sorry” Leila apologised a little awkwardly, “I erm, I had no idea…”

“....It’s ok, she wasn’t my type anyway”

“What about you Laura?” Michael spoke up to try and take the attention away from Luke, “You found your  _ special someone _ yet?”

“Who, me? Oh don’t be daft. I’m perfectly content as I am you know that. I’m too busy with my artwork and college anyway to sod about trying to find a bloke who’d only bore me to tears” 

“Well that was a conversation killer!” Michael laughed, “I’m sorry I asked!”

Laura responded by simply poking her tongue out. 

“How’s your love life these days Dad?” Cameron asked suddenly, being as subtle as a brick as usual, and just as appropriate. 

John spat his drink out, coughing harshly whilst a sea of embarrassed faces around him tried to change the subject. Robert however took it as his opportunity to stir the pot a little. 

“Yes Dad, how is that going?” Robert looked pointedly at John, with his arms folded across his chest. 

“...Erm, well I…”

“Oh Rob, leave your Dad alone” Anna attempted to steer the conversation away from John but Robert was having none of it.

“No it’s ok, he doesn’t have to be shy around us, after all we’re family. Come on Dad, speak up” 

“....”

“Your new lady friend looked rather smitten this morning, she also looked very familiar…I‘m sure I’ve seen her before somewhere”

Anna turned to her husband with a look of fury, wondering what on earth he thought he was doing. 

“Rob, that’s enough…” She warned through gritted teeth. 

“Have you got a girlfriend, Dad!?!” Cameron asked excitedly, “You kept that quiet!”

_ Shit. _

This was not how John wanted his relationship with Libby to be announced. He had to try and change the subject somehow. 

“...Nice beer this, is there any more going?” 

“Dad, do you have a girlfriend?” Michael asked, “Does Mum know?”

_ Oh god….kill me now, please.  _

“Guys, give Dad a break” Laura admonished her brothers, “His love life is none of our business anyway”

Robert had had enough, and fueled up on several bottles of beer, went in for the kill. “Normally I’d agree with you, but not when Dad is shagging his PA, that Mum found for him...” 

There was a stunned silence for a moment, with everyone looking between John and Robert with a mixture of horror, shock, confusion and bewilderment. It was only when Milo piped up that the spell was broken. 

“Daddy, what does shagging mean?”

John put his head in his hands, wanting the ground to open up and swallow him whole. 

“Ok! Come on kids, what do you say we take the dogs for a walk?” Leila quickly gathered up the grandchildren before anyone had a chance to protest and made a quick exit. A major argument was brewing and about to erupt in spectacular fashion which the little ones did not need to witness.

With the youngsters safely out of earshot John rounded on his eldest son, “Rob, what the hell?! Have you lost your mind? And in front of the kids!” 

“Oh I’m sorry, was it meant to be a secret? Perhaps the two of you shouldn’t have been snogging on the doorstep then in broad daylight?!”

_ Oh fuck he saw us. _

“What on earth is going on? Dad is this true?!” Michael demanded. 

John could hardly deny it, he’d been busted big time, but the way it had been done left a very sour taste in his mouth. 

“Dad, is Rob right? You’re seeing someone?” Joshua joined in, looking equally confused.

John hesitated a moment, feeling both embarrassed and angry then realised there was no way out of it, he had to come clean. 

“...Yes...Yes I am seeing someone alright, and I have been for a few weeks. Does anyone have a problem with that?”

“Christ Dad, you’ve only been divorced five minutes!” Robert exclaimed in horror, “What about Mum, did you not stop to think about her? Or any of us?”

“Of course I did, but…”

“Leave it out Rob” Laura interrupted, “Who made you the boss round here?”

“I personally think it’s great that Dad is dating again” Cameron said, “Why shouldn’t he have some fun?”

“Rob, show your Father some respect please!” Anna glared at her husband with contempt, “On his birthday of all days as well”

“Respect?! That’s a laugh! What respect has he shown any of us by sneaking about?”

“How dare you!” John replied angrily, “You wonder why I kept quiet? Because I knew you would react like this. For the first time in months if not years I’m actually happy, and enjoying myself. Why can’t you just be pleased for me?”

“We’re just looking out for you Dad, that’s all” Michael said, trying to calm the situation.

“Speak for yourself, and not for the rest of us” Laura replied, “I think it’s brilliant that you’re seeing someone Dad, good for you”

“How can you say that?!” Robert was incredulous, “We all know this woman is only after one thing. She’s wormed her way into your home and your life, and it worked didn’t it, you fell for it, hook line and sinker”

“Rob, one more word…” John threatened quietly.

“What? It’s true isn’t it? This assistant of yours only took the job because she’s a sleazy gold digger. I can’t believe you’ve fallen for it again!”

“Hey! Don’t be rude about Libby, she’s lovely!” Cameron said in his Dad's defence.

“Yeah, I mean I’ve not met her but she sounds pretty cool” Luke agreed, Joshua and Nicole nodded vigorously beside him.

“This is nuts!” Robert threw his hands up in frustration, “You wait till Mum hears about this…”

“She already knows”

“What?!”

“She knows” John repeated, “...and she’s given us her blessing”

“Like bollox has she”

“Rob! That is enough!” Anna strode towards her husband, grabbed his arm and dragged him back into the house whilst throwing John an apologetic look. 

“Oh he’s such a twat at times” Laura muttered before turning to Michael who was about to say something “You can shut your mouth as well” 

“Don’t you care about any of this?!” 

“No I don’t Mike, and neither should you. You and Rob are disgusting, rounding on Dad like that. You don’t care about his feelings, you’re more bothered about losing your inheritance”

“That’s a load of rubbish!”

“Yeah? Prove it then!”

“...I’ve had enough of this…fine birthday this turned out to be” John said to no one in particular as he gave up trying to defend himself and stalked back into the house for some peace and quiet. 

“Now look what you’ve done!” Laura scolded Michael, “You’ve ruined Dad's birthday, you utterly selfish piece of…”

“Hey it wasn’t me! I didn’t start it, blame Rob”

“Urgh, you just don’t get it do you?” Laura threw her brother a disgusted look before storming off. 

Michael had the good grace to look embarrassed at his sister's fury, thinking he may have gone too far. 

“Good one Mike” Joshua nodded, “Nice going. Come on Nic, let’s get this place tidied up a bit”

That left just Cameron and Luke who were whispering to each other in hushed tones, occasionally glancing over at their older brother with something akin to contempt in their eyes which didn’t go unnoticed.

“I guess you two hate me as well?” 

“Hate is such a strong word” Luke mused, “I would say disappointed instead” 

“You’re a moron” Cameron stated flatly, not even looking up from his phone. “I guess now isn’t a good time to start streaming?” 

………………………………………………………….

“Robert Deacon, you go and apologise to your Dad this instant!”

Robert met his wife's furious gaze and recoiled as if he’d been slapped. The Edinburgh native had a temper as red and fiery as her hair when she was pissed off, and let her husband feel the full force of it. 

Robert hesitated for a moment, clenching and unclenching his fists. He was faced with either having a huge row with his Dad or one with his wife. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place, but knew that if he didn’t make the right choice the journey back home to Scotland would be a living hell. 

With his wife’s angry words ringing in his ears Robert reluctantly got moving. He briefly considered pretending that he couldn’t find his Dad, or that he’d locked himself away but realised quickly how pathetic that sounded. 

He was starting to wish that he’d never seen what he had that morning. 

Ignorance really was bliss.

John was a predictable man having retreated to his basement studio to escape the madness. He slumped heavily in his chair and ran a hand down his face in frustration. He hadn’t wanted to keep anything from his family, but didn’t he deserve some privacy where his love life was concerned? 

John didn’t interfere in his children’s private lives and hadn’t done so since they became adults. They were all old enough and wise enough to handle it themselves, though of course John and Veronica made it clear their door was always open if they ever needed their guidance or help. 

John expected the same respect from his kids in return and got it most of the time, though there had been the odd event in recent years which bought out the oldest children's over protective instincts. The same seemed to be happening again to his annoyance. He appreciated having people around him, looking out for him and his best interests, but since the divorce it had ramped up big time. 

John realised with a heavy heart that he would have to have a serious conversation with his kids at some point, to put their minds at rest and to clear the air. He didn’t intend to apologise for his new relationship or even try and defend it though, after all he shouldn’t have to. He was a grown up and could do what he wanted. 

John mused over that for a while, breaking out the cigarettes for the first time in weeks in an attempt to soothe his nerves. He was just about to light up when a knock at the door made him jump. 

“Dad, are you in there?” A familiar voice called out. 

John stared at the door for a moment, feeling his anger start to rise again. 

_ I can’t get a minute's peace. _

His unwanted visitor knocked again prompting John to storm over to the door and yank it open. He came face to face with Robert who looked just as pissed off as he did. 

“Dad we need to talk”

“No, we don’t. I have nothing to say to you after the little stunt you pulled earlier”

Robert sighed putting his hands on his hips. “Dad, for god's sake…”

“Anna put you up to this did she? Well she needn’t have bothered. Once the kids are back you can leave, all of you. You’re no longer welcome in my home” 

“What?! Oh come on you don’t mean that!” 

“Yes, I do. You really crossed a line this evening. It was bad enough that I was ambushed in my own home and made to accept visitors when I didn’t want them. But then to have you insult me over my personal life in front of everyone was the final straw” 

“Dad, can’t you see what’s happening here?”

“Yes, I can. It’s very clear, very clear indeed. I’m not allowed a life” John replied, his voice getting angrier and higher with every word, “I’m not allowed to move on from the divorce and start again even though your Mother has. I’m not allowed to have relationships with who I want. I’m not allowed to make mistakes without being chastised, and I’m certainly never allowed to forget them. I’m not allowed to sleep with whoever I want to. I’m not allowed to do fucking anything in case it upsets any of you!”

Robert was stunned by his Dad's outburst, staring at him open mouthed. For once he was lost for words and didn’t know how to respond. 

“All I wanted was to enjoy my birthday peacefully with my new girlfriend, and yes Libby is my girlfriend, like it or fucking lump it, but no, you lot had to be selfish enough to decide things for me again.  _ You will have fun Dad, we’re doing this for you Dad, relax and enjoy yourself Dad _ . How the hell can I enjoy myself when you won’t let go? Your Mother and I are divorced, it’s finished, over. I paid her off and she’s happily enjoying her new life. Now it’s my turn to do the same and move on. I’m trying to do that, but you lot keep trying to put a spanner in the works. What the hell have I done to deserve that?!”

“...I...Dad, please…” Robert was floundering badly, he’d never seen his Father so angry. 

“No, Rob I’m sorry but there’s no coming back from this right now. You’ve gone too far. I need a break from you all whilst I figure what to do next” 

“What? What do you mean by that?” Robert was seriously worried now. 

“I want you to leave, all of you. I want you out of my house and far away from here so I can have the peace and quiet that I need. What part of that doesn’t make sense?”

“....But what do I tell the kids?” 

“You should have thought of that before you decided to treat me like a child. Now go. I want you all out of here within the hour”

“...Dad!”

“Go, for once in your life just do as you’re told and go...please” 

Robert finally gave in and nodded slowly with tears threatening to fall. “Ok..ok...I’ll see you soon”

“I love you son, but I don’t like you very much right now. I’ll call you all when I’m ready” 

With that John retreated back inside his studio and locked the door without a backward glance. He was in tears now as well, feeling furious and incredibly sad at how the day had panned out. He could only imagine the awkward conversation that Robert would have with his siblings upstairs. 

John lit a cigarette and paced up and down, willing his racing heart to calm down. It wasn’t long before his phone lit up with notifications. His children were texting him but John ignored them all. He wanted them to sweat for a bit. Was that childish of him? Probably. But if they were going to treat him like a child, they couldn’t be surprised if he acted like one. 

Several cigarettes later John was starting to feel a little less stressed. He took a seat and stared at his phone, he had several texts and missed calls and he could guess who from. Eventually curiosity got the better of him and he had a look. There were none from Robert which surprised him, he was probably still sulking after their fight. 

With the fog clearing from his brain John remembered from earlier that it had only been his eldest two sons who had been opposed to his new relationship. His other children, Laura and Cameron in particular, had been very supportive. He fired off a brief message to them all individually, and to their partners to thank them for their gifts and more importantly for their support, and that he was sorry that the day ended on a low, but he would be in touch with them very soon. 

A flurry of replies along the lines of “ _ No worries, speak soon, we love you Dad _ ” made John smile sadly.

A glance at the clock on the wall showed it was now 9pm. John should have been sat with his family enjoying their company and his birthday cake, instead he was sat alone pining for his girlfriend's company. 

It wasn’t the worst birthday he’d ever had but it certainly came very close. 

John was longing to hear Libby’s voice, to have her reassure and console him, but It wouldn’t be fair to ruin her evening. Instead he picked up his phone and started typing. 

**John** : *Hey, hope you’re having a nice time with your friend. I miss you x*

To his surprise Libby replied almost straight away

**Libby:** *Hey you! I am thanks, I miss you too. Hope the party is going well x*

**John** : *It’s been an interesting day, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow x*

**Libby:** *Is everything ok? x*

John frowned, Libby always seemed to know when something was up. The woman had a sixth sense of some kind. 

**John** : *Don’t worry about me, I’m ok. Enjoy your evening. See you tomorrow x*

**Libby:** *I can’t wait x*

John blew a soft kiss at his phone, and then safely tucked it into this pocket. Tomorrow really couldn’t come soon enough. 

  
  
  
  



	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John deals with the aftermath of his disastrous birthday party, and has emotional conversations with his two oldest children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only been 5 days since I posted the previous chapter, but I'm holiday right now and had the time to be creative! We're getting close to the end of the story now, hope you enjoy! Comments as ever are very much welcome!

John woke with a start and sat up suddenly, almost falling out of his chair. He was confused for a moment wondering where he was, then realised to his dismay that he’d fallen asleep at the desk in his studio, and now had a stiff neck and aching lower back. 

He’d been so tense and riled up from the fight with Robert the previous evening, that he’d been too reluctant to head back upstairs until he knew for certain that everyone had left. The trouble was the basement was very well insulated from noise so of course John couldn’t hear a thing unless it was right on the other side of the door. 

_ 6am?! Jesus Christ... _

John cursed to himself when he glanced at the clock and realised the time. How long he’d been fitfully dozing for he had no idea, but he certainly didn’t feel refreshed or relaxed. It was hardly the greatest of starts to his day. 

A check of his messages suggested that his family had actually followed his orders and left the house around 10pm, no doubt after a very awkward conversation. John still couldn’t relax though until he knew for sure he was alone. Creeping about in his own home felt ridiculous, but John had an underlying fear that at any moment he would be confronted by one of his children after hearing his footsteps echoing around the hall. 

_ This is stupid, I shouldn’t be made to feel scared to walk about in my own damn home!  _

John stood at the foot of the stairs with his hands on his hips, looking and listening out for any signs of life, but of course there was nothing. A quick search of the house showed no evidence of his family, only his birthday presents which were stacked up in a neat pile in the kitchen with a simple note attached. 

_ *Enjoy your gifts Dad, we love you xxx* _

_ Well at least they had the manners to clean up for me _ , John thought to himself. The BBQ had been packed away, the conservatory put back to normal and all the decorations removed. They had even wrapped up all the leftover food and drink which was now sitting in the fridge. 

_ I won’t have to go shopping now either for a few days.  _ That was one positive to take from the situation. 

John was normally an early riser so he didn’t bother going to bed to try and make up for his dismal nights sleep, instead he took a quick hot shower in an attempt to clear his foggy head and headed out for a brisk walk whilst the streets were nice and quiet. Early mornings were John’s favourite time of day. He appreciated the quietness and solitude, how peaceful the streets and parks were before the city commuters emerged from their homes. 

Venturing out at an early hour put a spring in his step for the rest of the day, blowing away the proverbial cobwebs. At least it usually did, on this occasion John felt slightly ropey, as if he had a hangover, only this time it was an emotional one rather than one induced by excess drinking. 

John pondered over the previous day's events as he walked. He had mixed emotions over what had happened and was struggling with how to move on from it. On one hand he thought  _ sod it, this is my life and I’ll do what I want, if they don’t like it, tough _ . But on the other hand he didn’t want to drive a wedge between himself and his kids, and potentially ruin the relatively close relationship he had with them all, or risk losing access to his grandchildren whom he absolutely adored. 

He could ask Veronica to speak with them on his behalf, but it wouldn’t be fair to drag her into his problems even though she had clearly given John and Libby her blessing. He would have to deal with it head on and by himself, as painful as the prospect was. John knew if he didn’t do anything and let things fester than it would only get worse. 

Life was never simple, even during retirement.

John blew out a frustrated breath as he headed back home. He’d been walking for a good hour and was now in need of a nice strong coffee. He managed to resist reaching for the cigarettes though. No matter how stressed he felt he wasn’t prepared to risk his health any further for a quick, cheap fix. 

To John’s surprise as he turned the corner onto his road he spied a familiar figure heading towards the house, one he hadn’t expected to see until later on that afternoon. 

_ Is that Libby? What’s she doing back so early? _

John quickly checked his phone in case he had missed a call or message from her, but there was nothing. Was he going senile or seeing things? 

He broke into a light jog and was rewarded by the glorious sight of his girlfriend disappearing into the house. He made it to the door in time to stop it closing completely, which made Libby turn around in surprise. 

“Oh! John, my god I thought you were still in bed!”

John forgot all his troubles for a moment on seeing Libby’s beautiful smile, and also how early in the morning it was. 

“God I’ve missed you so much!” John pulled Libby into a tight hug which made her giggle, then loosened his grip and leaned down to kiss her deeply. Libby groaned in pleasure and melted into the kiss, snaking her hand around John’s neck, letting herself be walked backwards until she bumped into the wall behind her. 

John caressed Libby’s face, keeping one hand firmly on her waist as they made out for several minutes. The stress, tension and emotional turmoil of the past 24 hours all coming out as John poured all his love and desire into the kiss. 

Eventually Libby gently pushed John away as she needed to break for air. Breathing hard she looked up at him and was concerned to see tears in his eyes. 

“John? What’s happened, what’s wrong?” 

John wiped his eyes clear and looked away for a moment, feeling a little embarrassed. “I’m fine, honestly, I’m just so happy to have you back home. You erm, surprised me being back so soon though. Suppose the family had still been here?”

“It was a little risky I suppose, but I guessed something was up from your texts last night. So I had to come back as soon as I could. I’m right aren’t I?” 

“....Let’s get the kettle on and I’ll tell you all about it” John sighed, “It’s a long story” 

…………………………….

“I knew something was up, I just knew it. God it sounded like you had a terrible time” Libby frowned as she sipped at her coffee, “You should have said you were struggling, I would have come straight back”

“What and wreck your evening too?”

“I wouldn’t have minded. God, there I was having a chilled out night with my bestie, whilst you were stuck here fighting with your kids”

Libby had been bursting to hear all about John’s party when she arrived back home, but was dismayed and heartbroken instead when John explained what had happened and in all its horrific glory. She had a feeling that his children wouldn’t be thrilled exactly by their Dad dating again, but hadn’t expected such an extreme reaction from them. 

“This is all my fault” Libby pondered gloomily as she stared at the bottom of her mug, “If I hadn't slept in…”

“What?” John looked up sharply, “No of course it isn’t, it’s not your fault at all. Come here sweetheart, come on” John put his own mug down and held his arms out, inviting Libby for a hug. 

Libby happily obliged, snuggling up to John, resting her head against his chest. She felt incredibly guilty even though she had no part in what had happened the previous evening. 

“Stop it” John chided her gently. 

“What?”

“I can practically hear the cogs going round in your head missy, I know what you’re thinking. My kids have to be responsible for their own feelings about us, that’s their problem not yours”

“I just wish I’d been here” Libby replied quietly, “It might have helped”

“I doubt that my love, to be honest it probably would only have made it worse. Robert took his anger out on me, if you’d been here he would have blown up at you as well” 

“I would have kicked his arse in that case” Libby replied, “I wouldn’t have taken any shit from him, no offence” 

“None taken. But no you wouldn’t, I wouldn’t have let you get dragged into it if you’d been here. That wouldn’t have solved anything and you know it”

Libby nodded slowly, she had to admit that John was right. 

“I just can’t believe he had the balls to do that…Robert really doesn’t like me does he? I got that impression when I first met him” 

“...No...no I’m sorry to say he doesn’t. But then I don’t think he’d like anyone in your position at the moment, it’s not you, I mean it’s not personal. Does that make sense?”

“He doesn’t like the fact you’re seeing someone you mean? So what, you’re supposed to mope about and stay single for the rest of your life then? In what universe is that a good idea?”

“It’s not just Robert, Michael isn’t impressed either unfortunately. Thankfully the rest of them seem quite supportive though”

“Oh...well, it’s not a total disaster then” Libby replied thoughtfully, “Maybe it would help if I met them all? It’s probably about time I did, don’t you think?”

“...Let me speak with them first” 

“Alright. Before you do that though, there’s erm, there’s something I need to confess...”

“Copped off last night did you?!” John teased gently.

“Oh you wally! No, erm...well, I accidentally let slip to my friend last night about us...about you”

John’s eyes went wide and a panicked look spread across his face. 

“I messed up, I’m sorry, but I promise you my friend will not tell a soul” Libby quickly said in reassurance, “I’ve known Harriet for over 40 years and I trust her to keep quiet. You don’t have to worry, ok?”

John didn’t look convinced. “...You’re absolutely sure?”

“Positive” Libby nodded without hesitation, “Admittedly she was rather excited when she realised I was dating you, but that lasted all of five minutes. She is not, and never has been a gossip. She has a rather nice flat and a good job, so she would never ever be tempted to sell a story to the papers for a quick buck, she’d have no need to” 

John relaxed a little, he had no reason to doubt Libby. No reason at all.

“Perhaps you could meet her?” Libby suggested, “Have her round for coffee or something, if that would help put your mind at rest?”

“That might not be a bad idea, but one thing at a time love alright? I need to deal with my kids first” 

The thought was a terrifying one in many ways, but one that John could no longer ignore. He was going to have to make some calls, and quickly. 

Whilst Libby was safely out of the way upstairs unpacking and sorting herself out, John took the opportunity to act on his promise to himself and speak with his children. Well, that was the intention anyway. He locked himself away with a cup of tea and sat down heavily at his desk, staring at his phone. 

John knew he had to act quickly, he ideally wanted to speak with his kids face to face, but not all of them were local. Robert lived in Edinburgh, whilst Michael was even further afield in California and after being kicked out unceremoniously the previous evening it wouldn’t be long until they planned to return home.

_ Come on, just pick up the phone...what’s the worst that could happen? _

Eventually John bit the bullet, picked up the phone and dialled. He prayed he wasn’t too late.

“Michael? It’s Dad. Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Listen, are you still in London?”

……………………

Just over an hour later John sat across from his second eldest son in a quiet corner of a local cafe. There was a slightly awkward atmosphere between them as they silently nursed their coffees, both waiting for the other to speak first. 

Eventually John plucked up the courage to address the elephant in the room. 

“Mike, about last night…”

“Yeah...about that…”

“Are Leila and the boys ok?” 

“Yeah, yeah they’re fine. They’ve gone to the park by our hotel for a bit, to let the boys run off some steam” 

“Good….that’s good” 

Michael nodded slowly, stirring a spoon in his rapidly cooling drink. 

“Look, I don’t want what happened last night to cause an issue between us” John pleaded, “I asked you here today so we could clear the air. You’re not happy with me at the moment, and to be perfectly honest the feelings mutual”

“I don’t hate you Dad!”

“I didn’t say you did, but your disrespect and behaviour last night were out of order” 

Michael frowned and looked down for a moment, considering his next words very carefully. 

“I would never intentionally hurt you Dad, or want to show you up, you know that. I’m sorry for making you feel that way, but I was hurt too. I was shocked that you’re dating again so soon after the divorce, and gutted that you felt you had to keep it a secret. Don’t you think you should have spoken to us and Mum before you did that?”

John had to fight hard to keep calm, and stop himself from blurting out a knee jerk response that he may regret. 

“Mike, the divorce was finalised only a few months ago you’re right, but your Mother and I have been separated for far far longer. In any case, I didn’t keep anything from her, she actually encouraged me to move on” 

“But...she loves you, why would she do that? I don’t understand?”

“Exactly that Mike, it’s because she loves and respects me that she was able to let go and give me her blessing to start dating again. She’s doing the same and I’m not going to stand in her way”

“She really did that?” 

“Yes. Yes she did, you can ask her yourself if you want. We had a long conversation about it, when she realised even before I did that I had feelings for someone else”

Michael smiled sadly, “Right...and you’re seeing someone now? Your assistant, the one who lives with you?” 

“Yeah, her name is Libby” 

“She must be pretty special?” Michael asked quietly. 

“She is” John replied simply. 

“How...how old is she?” 

“You know a gentleman never asks a lady her age” John quipped which made Michael chuckle softly, “But seriously, she’s 45...46 in a few months” 

Michael’s expression softened a little on hearing that. It seemed to placate him somewhat that John was dating a relatively mature woman rather than a 20-something as he’d initially feared. 

“Look, I’m not asking you to be over the moon about it Mike, I get this has all been a bit of a shock. Hell, it was for me to be outed like that. I didn’t plan to keep this from you forever though, I just wanted a bit more time to get settled before I announced anything. You understand that don’t you?”

“...Yeah, I do...I just...I guess I’m just sad that things won’t be the same anymore. I mean, like Christmas”

“It’s ok to feel that way son, I’d be surprised if you didn’t. Look, I’m not planning months ahead, I haven’t even thought about Christmas yet, I’m just taking things one day at a time. I don’t know how the holidays are going to look this year, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing if things are a little different, do you?”

“No I suppose not...it might be nice to have a change?”

“Exactly” John smiled. 

“Dad...I, Erm…” Michael started, then faltered a little as he struggled to articulate what was on his mind. 

“Libby’s not a gold digger” 

“Dad…”

“I know that’s what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. She’s not interested in my money, or the fact I have a famous past, that much I’m sure of. That’s what’s bothering you about her I can tell, but you’re way off”

“...How can you be so sure?” 

_ I knew it...I wish he wasn’t so bloody suspicious.  _

“I just am, ok? Please trust me on this. Libby is a beautiful person and very trustworthy and loyal. She also owns a flat that she rents out, so she has more than enough money of her own”

Michael quietly mulled over what John had just told him. He still had some lingering doubts he was struggling to shake off, but did his best to ignore them for his Dads sake. The last thing he wanted was for them to fall out and cause irreparable damage to their relationship. 

“Ok Dad, ok. I can’t pretend to be over the moon about all this, because I’m not, but I can’t deny how much calmer and happier you seem to be. I guess this Libby must be a good person for you”

“She is Mike, believe me. Your Mother adores her almost as much as I do. I appreciate your honesty, I’m not expecting you to be best friends with her, and she never will take the place of your Mother. All I ask is that you give us a chance and show her a little respect” 

“Can’t really argue with that can I?”

“Hug it out?” John offered

Michael nodded, and stood to embrace his Dad. He felt a bit embarrassed when he realised his eyes were a little moist. 

“Hey come on, no tears alright?” John said, “Are we ok?”

“Yeah, of course we are” Michael nodded, “I just...I worry about you, and want you to be safe Dad. I mean it, if this woman dares harm you in any way….”

“Oi, watch it, I’m a big boy now and can look after myself. You concentrate on looking after your lovely wife and the kids”

“I’m glad we did this Dad, had this talk. I need to get going now though, we’re flying back home tonight and we still need to pack”

“Alright, I won’t hold you up any longer. Thank you for coming, and for listening. Things will be a bit strange for a while but we’ll get there. Perhaps the next time you’re in town we could all have dinner together, you can meet Libby and get to know her a bit?”

“That sounds great” Michael smiled, “We’ll sort something out soon”

John waved Michael off feeling a little more positive about the future. There was still a way to go but it was a promising start. All he had to do now was get Robert on side. 

That was going to be easier said than done. 

………………………………

As he walked home John considered his next move. He needed to speak to his eldest son, but had told Robert the previous evening it may be some time until he got in touch again due to his anger. Would it appear weak or desperate if John were to contact him this soon? He didn’t want to play games or engage in a power play, he simply wanted to make things right again whilst making it clear that any disrespect of him and his relationship with Libby wouldn’t be tolerated. 

Whether that would be possible John wasn’t entirely sure. Robert had clearly been dead against John dating again, and so angry about it he couldn’t be swayed. He worried that perhaps there really was no going back as he had said, and that their relationship was unsalvageable. The thought was heartbreaking. Surely there was a solution? 

The answer to that would become clear a lot earlier than John expected. 

“Hey, I’m home!” John called out, closing the door behind him. “Be an angel and put the kettle on love”

John wasn’t concerned when there was no answer, “Libby?....”  _ She must be upstairs, bless her.  _

He quickly toed off his shoes, hung up his jacket and wandered into the kitchen where the sight he was met with made him stop in his tracks. 

“Alright Dad?”

Robert was sitting at the kitchen table, bold as brass accompanied by an embarrassed looking Veronica and annoyed looking Libby. 

“What’s going on?” John asked in astonishment.

“I thought we could have a chat, all of us, face to face” Robert explained. 

John felt the red mist start to rise. “So yet again you take it upon yourself to decide things for me?”

Libby took that as her cue to make a quick exit. “If you’ll excuse me folks, I’ll leave you to it” She rushed from the room shooting John an apologetic look before legging it upstairs to safety. 

“I didn’t come here for a fight Dad”

“No? Well It bloody well seems like it. I thought I told you yesterday I needed a break from you for a while?”

“Boys, please!” Veronica pleaded, “Both of you calm down, we’re going to get nowhere like this”

“What are you doing here anyway?” John asked his ex.

“Don’t talk to Mum like that! I invited her here”

“Oh for god's sake, here we go…”

“That’s enough!” Veronica slammed her palm on the table making both men jump in surprise, “John, I’m sorry about this, to turn up unexpectedly, but Rob called me and explained what happened last night. I tried to put him right but he insisted we all meet to discuss it”

“Discuss what exactly?” John asked, “That he’s a disrespectful brat who can’t deal with me dating again after the divorce? I said everything I had to say last night about that”

“Oi! I am right here you know? As for calling me a brat, are you having a laugh?” 

“Oh yes, I'm having the time of my life right now Son, I really am. You know I was absolutely gutted at how we left things last night, and I was prepared to discuss it with you, to make things right between us, but once again you just couldn’t resist...” 

“Ok! ok...I’m sorry” Robert interrupted, holding his hands up. “Come on, please let’s talk about this properly, without shouting or fighting, yeah?” 

“Rob, I’m not going to say what you want to hear”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask Dad!”

“Robbie love” Veronica placed a gentle hand on her son's arm, “I told you this morning, your Father and I are not and never will get back together. Our marriage has been over for years as you well know, and the divorce is finalised. I’ve moved on, and now your Dad is too” 

“But..”

“No. Listen to me. Your Dad and I will always love and respect each other, and we will always be your parents, nothing changes that, but now we’re both seeing other people. I gave your Dad my blessing to ask Libby out, I actually realised he had feelings for her before he did himself” 

“...I can’t believe I’m hearing this…”

“We’re not expecting you to be happy about it” Veronica continued, “But we do ask that you respect our choices. We are both grown adults as I’m sure you’re aware and should be able to live our lives as we please without seeking your permission” 

“...You’re...you’re really ok with this?” Robert asked quietly.

“Yes, I am. I have no reason not to be” 

“...But, aren’t you worried?”

“About what exactly?” Veronica asked in confusion. 

“He’s worried that I’ve _fallen for a sleazy gold digger_ _again_. Those were your exact words I believe?” John deadpanned.

Veronica turned to Robert with a look of shock on her face, “Oh, you didn’t say that?!” 

To his credit Robert turned his gaze to the floor and tried to hide the embarrassment from his face. “...I was angry, and confused” 

“Rob look at me, look at me Son please” John asked, “What happened before was a long time ago, and during a dark point in my life. I made a mistake which I’ve been paying for ever since, and one that I’ve vowed never to repeat. Libby is very special to me, she’s brought some light to my life during the last few months and has stuck around despite having a fair amount of crap thrown at her. Yes I pay her to work for me but that’s as far as it goes. She owns a flat the other side of London that she rents out so she’s financially secure, she doesn’t need me to prop her up. Do you really think someone just after my cash would do that?”

“Perhaps she's playing a long game?...” 

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Well…”

“Look, Libby didn’t even know who I was when she applied to work for me, and when she found out she didn’t care. I was such a bastard to her at first it’s a bloody miracle she didn’t quit, but she persevered because she’s a professional. Over time we got to know each other and eventually realised with a little push from your Mother that we wanted more. It wasn’t a sudden thing, far from it”

“...That’s all great, but...but she’s so young…” Robert was starting to clutch at straws”

“She’s hardly a teenager, she’ll be 46 before the years out”

“She’s my age?! Bloody hell…”

“Rob, I get you’re worried about this and scared for the future but you need to trust me. I’ve found the perfect partner in Libby and I’m not about to let her go”

“Perfect? What about Mum?!”

“Robbie love, what your Dad means is that he’s found the ideal woman for him right now, at this stage in his life. We had a great run together of course we did, we had many happy years which we’ll both look back on fondly, but now your Dad needs someone else who can give him what I can’t”

Robert looked between his parents with a glum expression. Despite their explanations and attempts to reassure him he still wasn’t happy. He had been hopeful for so long of the divorce being called off, and had taken it badly when it became clear that was never going to happen. He had taken it personally from the start and saw it as a reflection on him and a failure to be a good son. Something that had baffled those around him. 

“So that’s it?” Robert asked in desperation. 

“Yes, it is” Veronica said simply. “I’m not going to sugarcoat it anymore, I get this is hard to accept but you’re not a child so don’t act one like. Your father and I understand it may take a while for you to come to terms with it, and that’s ok, but we will not tolerate any further disrespect of our life choices”

“Or of Libby” John added firmly.

Robert's shoulders slumped in defeat. He was outnumbered and had to admit he had no real come back. As the eldest of the Deacon children he’d been extremely protective of his Father since his late teens, considering it his duty to look out for John and to keep him safe. Now though? Well, he had no choice really but to let go as hard as that was, and to let both his parents live their lives as they now saw fit.

Robert sighed, rubbing a hand across his face and tried to stop the tears from falling. The conversation with his folks had been emotionally draining. Now was a good time to try and recoup a little dignity from the situation. 

“Alright...ok, I can’t really argue with either of you. We’d only end up going round in circles”

“That’s the most sensible thing you’ve said all weekend” John noted. 

“That’s me told then” Robert said, “Look I can’t lie and pretend I’m ok with all this alright...but I won’t stand in your way”

“That’s all we ask” Veronica replied with a small smile. 

“I erm, I should get going now” Robert stood to leave, “Anna and the kids will be wondering where I am...” 

“Are you flying back today?” John asked

“Yeah, yeah this afternoon” 

“Right...”

“Dad I don’t want to leave on bad terms” Robert said suddenly, “I’m sorry about last night, about what I said. I hope one day you can understand why I did what I did” 

“I appreciate that son” John replied, struggling to keep his voice calm, “We’ll get there, it might take a while, but..we’ll get there” 

“Group hug?” Veronica suggested? 

After hugging it out and wiping away a few stray tears, John waved Robert off with a promise to catch up again once things had settled down. He then turned to Veronica with a look of immense gratitude. 

“Thank you so much Ronnie, I don’t think that would have gone so well if you hadn’t been here” 

“It’s the least I could do John, after everything you’ve been through. When Robert admitted what happened last night and what you said to him…” She shook her head sadly. 

“Yeah...it was not the birthday I had hoped for, shall we say?” 

“How’s Libby taking it all?” 

“Oh she’s fine, she’s a tough cookie. She was upset of course and wanted to kick Roberts arse, but I managed to talk her out of that thankfully” 

Veronica chuckled, “She’s something else, she really is” 

“...Perhaps we could have dinner one evening? You, me and Libby?” John suggested.

“That sounds marvelous, we’ll sort something out soon. Now I should get going too, and let you enjoy the rest of your day. Make sure you look after that good lady of yours” 

“Oh don’t worry” John replied, then added with a wink, “I intend to” 

……………………………………….

It was early afternoon when Libby finally emerged from the apartment and ventured downstairs to see how things were going. She found John alone in the kitchen pondering over a crossword with a pen in one hand and mug of tea in the other. 

“The kettle’s not long boiled love” John said without looking up, tapping away at the table whilst he struggled with a particularly tricky clue. 

Libby smiled with affection as she made herself a coffee. She leaned back against the counter and watched John for a moment. She found it adorable how he would stick his tongue out whilst completing a crossword, and would mutter quietly to himself as he tried to decipher the answers. 

“How did it go this morning?” 

“...No thanks love, I’ve not long finished this one” 

_ Eh? _

Libby cocked her head to the side and frowned in confusion.  _ What did I just ask? _

“You what?” She laughed.

“...What?” John looked up and stared at Libby looking equally confused. 

“I just asked you how it went this morning with Veronica and Robert, and you answered a completely different question, one that I didn’t even ask”

“Oh did I? God, I’m sorry love, I wasn’t listening”

_ You don’t say. _

“It was that good then?” 

John closed his newspaper with a sigh, put down his pen and gestured for Libby to join him at the table. “It was hard going at first, very hard going. I admit I was furious that Rob decided to just turn up like that and to drag his Mother along as well. Must have been a shock for you too?”

Libby made a face. “Yeah...you could say that. I also got the impression that you weren’t impressed, which is why I thought it was best to make myself scarce when you got home, sorry” 

“No, no you did the right thing sweetheart” 

“So did you make any progress at all?”

“Actually we did in the end, though it wasn’t easy. Ronnie was amazing, she finally got through to Rob and got him to accept that things are different now, that we’ve both moved on from the divorce and are living our own separate lives. He’s not completely on board, not yet anyway, but he’s promised to leave us alone and to not interfere. He’ll get over it eventually, he’s gonna have to”

“So how did you leave things with him?” 

“We hugged it out, shook hands and promised to catch up again in a few weeks once things have settled down”

“Oh that’s great, I’m so pleased for you” Libby smiled. 

“Yeah, it is a relief”

“Have you spoken with the rest of your children yet?” 

“Yes I had a brief conversation with them all this morning over the phone. I’m going to meet up with them face to face this week as well, it’s about time I did that, it’s been far too long. I need to thank them properly for their gifts too”

“Oh yes, I haven’t seen what they got you yet”

“I did quite well, they’ve been very generous. But before that I need a nap, I didn’t sleep well last night for obvious reasons and I was up at 6am. I’m starting to flag a bit”

“I don’t blame you, you’ve had a rough couple of days” 

John got up to dump their mugs in the sink, then wandered slowly back to the table with a thoughtful look on his face. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“...Hmmm, oh just something from last night, it’s nothing important love. I’m off to bed for a bit, come and wake me if I haven’t emerged by tea time?”

“Alright, enjoy your nap!”

Three hours later and with no sign of John, Libby went to investigate. She felt like a naughty schoolgirl as she tiptoed up the stairs towards the master bedroom and listened out for any signs of life. 

The door was firmly closed, though the distinct sound of snoring could be heard which made Libby giggle. 

_ God he’s so loud! Oh I can’t wake him, he’s sound asleep...but he did ask me to come get him... _

Libby debated what to do for a moment, lurking on the landing like a stalker. Eventually she plucked up the courage to knock gently on the door, and waited for a response. 

Nothing.

Libby pursed her lips and tried again, this time knocking a little harder. 

Still nothing. 

_ For god's sake. Well he can’t get mad at me for doing what he asked. _

Libby knocked one more time whilst slowly pushing the door open, and was met with a beautiful sight. 

John was curled up in bed with the covers pulled down revealing that he was wearing just a pair of fitted boxers. His lips were parted slightly and he had one arm across his face like a cat trying to block out the light. The temptation to leap on the man there and then and mount him was very high. 

_ God he’s beautiful.  _

Libby shook that thought from her mind and padded over to the bed, leaning down to place a hand gently on his shoulder. 

“John? John love?”

“....Hmmm….?”

John shifted and moved his arm to reveal a sleepy looking pair of eyes. 

“....What time is it?” He asked a little groggily. 

“Just gone 6pm, you’ve been snoozing for almost 3 hours, you really did need that nap didn’t you?”

John sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes. “I can’t believe I slept that long…”

“Can I get you anything?” 

John sat up on his elbows and gave Libby his best attempt at a seductive look which only served to make her laugh. 

“What?” John asked in mock outrage whilst gesturing towards himself, “Not doing it for you right now?”

“Come on” Libby chuckled with a shake of her head, “It’s about time you got up, you won’t sleep tonight otherwise. Go get a shower and I’ll sort out something for dinner” 

“Alright! alright...before we do that though, I’ve been thinking…”

“Careful!” Libby quipped. 

“Rude! But seriously, I have a question for you, something I’ve been thinking about for a little while now”

“Go on” 

“How would you feel about moving in with me?” John asked.

Libby gave John a quizzical look. “Erm, I kind of did that a few months ago, in case you hadn’t noticed!”

“No, I meant moving into the main house...out of the apartment...here, into my bedroom?”

Oh.

Libby hadn’t seen this coming so soon, though the thought of sharing John’s bed every night certainly was a thrilling one. 

“...If you’re not comfortable you can go back to the flat any time you want…” John stammered at Libby’s silence.

“I’d love to” Libby replied with conviction, “I really would, but on one condition though”

“...and what’s that?” John frowned.

“That you have enough room for all my clothes”

John laughed out loud, “I think we’ll manage, might be a squeeze, but we’ll manage”

  
  



	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Libby moves into John's bedroom, and they attempt to consummate their relationship...with varying degrees of success.

“You weren’t joking were you?!” 

“I did say!”

John cringed as he surveyed a scene of carnage before him, of (dis)organised chaos as Libby produced pile after pile of clothes, shoes and accessories. It seemed to be never ending. He hadn’t seen anything like this since the day his daughter had moved out and had to borrow all the suitcases the family possessed to transport her extensive wardrobe to her new home. 

It looked like an explosion in a clothes shop. 

“Do you need any help?” 

“No, no I’m fine thanks” Libby said with gritted teeth as she hauled yet another case down the stairs. 

John started to wonder whether this had been a good idea. He had visions of his own clothes being squeezed into a tiny corner of the closet by the time Libby was finished, with piles of her shoes stacked everywhere. Perhaps her proposal of converting one of the spare bedrooms into a walk-in wardrobe / dressing room wasn’t such a daft one after all?

John had scoffed at the idea when Libby first suggested it. The master bedroom he used as his own was pretty spacious after all with an en-suite bathroom attached and featured two sets of built in triple wardrobes. John’s possessions only took up a third of the available closet space so he hadn’t been worried at all when Libby had started to move her stuff in. Now though....?

_ I think a visit to IKEA is on the cards... _

“Erm, Libby? Do you fancy a shopping trip this weekend?”

Libby looked up from her seat on the bed whilst sorting through her handbags and gave John a confused look, “What for?” 

John didn’t say a word, but simply raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the already packed wardrobe behind her. 

Libby followed John's gaze and let out a low whistle, “Ah, yeah….” She bit her lip and giggled softly. 

“I know how much you love your clothes and whatnot, and would never push you to throw anything out” John said, “So...how about you put everything in the room next door instead? We can set up a sort of walk-in wardrobe in there for you, like you suggested the other day”

Libby’s eyes lit up, “Really? You’re absolutely sure? you don’t mind losing a bedroom?” 

“Nah, of course not, we’ll still have three spare rooms available after all for when the family visits. We can shift all the furniture out and turn one of the other rooms into a twin for the grandkids. It’ll be a nice little project for you” 

Libby smiled broadly, her excitement was obvious. “Yes, it will! I’m paying for it though” 

“Libby…”

“No John, no arguments. I’m going to benefit from this after all so I should pay for it, my foot is down” 

John held his hands up in defeat, “ Ok, ok! You win” 

Libby stood and surveyed her surroundings, “Right, well now that’s settled I’d better get all this out of the way then…” 

“Oh don’t worry about that for now” John waved a hand dismissively.

“But...we can’t sleep in here with all my crap strewn about the place” Libby protested, “I can’t leave it looking like this” 

“It’ll take you the rest of the day to get it all back upstairs again love” John countered, “I wouldn’t bother. Why drag it all back up to the apartment, only to bring it back down again? It just doesn’t make sense to move everything twice. I can sleep in one of the spare rooms for a few days until you’re sorted, it won’t kill me” 

Libby was pleasantly surprised at John’s laid back attitude. He was a creature of habit, something she had learned very quickly on becoming a major part of the man's life, and very rarely tolerated changes to his routine, so for him to casually suggest what would have previously been a major change for him was a massive breakthrough. 

“Well if you’re sure?...”

“I am, it’s no problem at all” John smiled, before adding quietly. “I know how much this means to you”

“Oh I’m so excited!” Libby jumped up and flung her arms around John’s neck. “Thank you. You will not regret this, I promise. I’m going to create the best dressing room you’ve ever seen!” 

John rolled his eyes playfully and pecked Libby on the lips. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be seeing much of her during the coming few days. 

………………………………………..

Libby happily took on the challenge of creating the walk-in wardrobe of her dreams, within a reasonable budget of course, and took it all very seriously. She spent the next few evenings online meticulously researching the best setup for her needs, poring over pages and pages of beautifully designed cabinets, racks and rails for inspiration. Before long Libby had created a moodboard with all the features and decor she wanted, it would have made the most professional interior designer very proud. 

John found it quite amusing, seeing how serious Libby was taking it. He didn’t hear a peep out of her as she was so engrossed in the task at hand. He was content to let her get on with it, feeling confident that she wouldn’t buy or do anything over the top. She was wonderfully respectful of the house and everything in it after all. 

John sat back and kept one eye on proceedings whilst keeping Libby supplied with cups of tea and coffee. She did everything with great enthusiasm once she got started; she cleared out the spare room, shampooed the carpet, washed down and painted the walls and window frames before ordering the furnishings and fittings at the best price she could find, and then constructed it all with the help of John’s extensive collection of power tools. 

It would have been a lot easier to hire someone to construct it all for her, but Libby had a specific idea in her mind of how it should look, and didn’t trust anyone to not get it wrong. It also helped to save a few quid on labour. John tried to get Libby to take a few days off from work to accommodate the project but she refused that as well, insisting that she could fit it in during the evenings and weekends. 

That was just one of the many things John loved about the woman, she was so hard working and never neglected her responsibilities. She could have easily have accepted a couple of extra weeks off at John’s expense but insisted on using her own spare time instead. She really was a keeper. 

When it came to completing the walk-in closet Libby was true to her word. Within a fortnight the spare room next to the master bedroom had been transformed from a somewhat plain affair into every fashionista's wet dream. Libby was incredibly proud of the results and rightly so. John had been banned from the room whilst the work was going on, Libby didn’t want or need the distraction. 

“You’ll have to wait until it’s finished” Libby teased with a smirk one evening after dinner, “The hot pink wallpaper is gonna look brilliant…”

John almost spat his tea out, giving Libby a look of despair. “Please tell me you’re joking?” 

“...Hmmm, I might be…”

“God, you’re loving this aren’t you? You little minx!” 

Libby simply laughed and fluttered her eyelashes. “Who, me?!”

“I’ll get you back for this” John warned lightheartedly, “You just wait”

“I sincerely hope you do!” 

John waggled his eyebrows which made Libby laugh, “Maybe we could have a day out once you’re done? To erm, go shopping and pick up a few, you know... _ items _ to help christen our first joint bedroom?”

Libby wondered what John was getting at for a moment, and gave him a quizzical look. “Items? Like wha…oh!” She blushed a light shade of pink when it dawned on her what he meant...or at least what she assumed he’d meant. 

_ You dirty sod! It’s all coming out now!  _ Libby laughed to herself.

“Bold of you to assume I don’t already possess such...items?” 

Now it was John’s turn to blush a little, as he realised he may have gotten a little carried away, he could be forgiven though considering how stunning and shapely Libby was. “You probably do” John chuckled, “I mean, you erm, certainly have the figure for them…that night you wore those fitted leather jeans, my god I’m sorry, but I simply couldn’t take my eyes off you”

_...Oh, he means lingerie _ ... _ ha ha! Now who has the dirty mind?!  _

“Well, I do my best” Libby shrugged, “I guess I don’t scrub up too bad for an old bird eh?”

“Old indeed” John rolled his eyes and playfully swatted Libby on the shoulder, “You’re beautiful, inside and out” 

“You charmer” Libby smiled, “But thank you...really, it’s so refreshing to be with someone who appreciates my mind just as much as my body” 

“Anyone who treated you any differently was an idiot” John replied with conviction, “They have absolutely no idea what they’re missing out on, but thankfully their loss is most definitely my gain” 

_ God I adore this man so much _ , Libby thought to herself dreamily.  _ What did I do to deserve this gorgeous creature?  _

……………………………………..

“Can I look now?”

Libby was bursting at the seams to reveal the fruits of her labours, the results of two long weeks worth of sweat and tears, and plenty of swear words thrown in for good measure. Libby was a calm, cool professional in the office, but during her down time she certainly knew how to express her frustrations in a colourful way. John found it very amusing, and if he was honest, a bit of a turn on.

“Not yet...hang on…just give me one second...”

John stood with his hands over his eyes waiting a little impatiently as Libby put one last finishing touch to her new dressing room. 

_ This has better be bloody worth it. _

“Ok, open your eyes”

John tentatively removed his hands from his face and peeled his eyes open. 

“So…?” Libby asked a little nervously, “What do you think?”

John was lost for words initially, walking around the room slowly to take it all in. “Wow...it’s great, you’ve done such a good job sweetheart, this looks amazing” 

“Yeah? You really like it? Oh I’m so pleased. It’s going to make my life so much easier like this, having everything organised. I mean, not that the wardrobes upstairs aren’t fit for purpose of course, they’re fine but this is so much better. I’ve got all my clothes categorised by type and colour, with sections for work and weekend wear, plus a proper home for all my bags and shoes…”

John smiled to himself as Libby practically skipped around the room showing off and explaining all the little details. “You wait” John joked shaking his head, “When the kids see this they’ll all want one too, especially Laura”

“Err, hang on a second Mister, who said they’ll get to see it?” Libby asked with a twinkle in her eye, before slowly opening a door in the far corner, “This...I believe is for your eyes only...”

John’s mouth suddenly went dry at the stunning sight before him, an entire cupboard full of beautiful lingerie, stockings and matching suspenders. It was absolutely mesmerising. He’d joked about it earlier in the week, but to actually see it all for himself...it was a good job he was wearing a loose pair of jogging bottoms. 

“....Erm, yeah...point taken” John sputtered, his face growing a vivid shade of pink which made Libby laugh. 

“Mr. Deacon, you’re not going all coy on me now are you?!” She teased. 

_ Not bloody likely. _

“No, no” John almost choked on his own voice, “I’m just, well...the thought of you in some of those…” 

Libby blushed a little on the inside at John’s reaction, whilst also being a little sad to see him looking a bit, well, ashamed of himself for want of a better word. He had nothing to be ashamed of though, nothing at all. He was a red blooded male who simply appreciated the thought of a good looking women highlighting her assets, and that woman just happened to be her good self. What was the harm in that? Libby certainly didn’t mind, in fact she was very flattered. 

It was a real confidence booster. 

Libby closed the wardrobe door and sauntered over to John with a sparkle in her eyes. She reached up and gently took the man's face in both hands, bumping noses and sharing a soft kiss. 

“You know, I might be tempted to wear one of these tomorrow night when we  _ christen _ our room, what do you say? Libby suggested softly, “Seeing as you like them so much”

“You don’t have to do that love” 

“But I want to. I don’t buy this kind of stuff just to look good you know, I buy them because they they make me feel good… _ very _ good” 

Libby gave John a knowing look which prised a small smile from him to her delight. 

“So have you decided what you want to do for our date night tomorrow?” Libby asked, “I was thinking a bite to eat at that Italian place up the road might be nice?” 

“Yeah, alright” John agreed, “...and then we can come back here for dessert…?” 

“You read my mind” 

“Perfect, I’ll go and give them a call to book a table”

Libby watched John wander off downstairs with butterflies in her stomach. She had high hopes for the following evening, for their first proper night together. Sure they’d had plenty of fun in the bedroom department since they’d started dating, but had been a little too shy to go all the way so far. Though with a little bit of luck, and some appropriate props that would change very soon. 

_ I think I may well have to pay Victoria’s Secret a visit tomorrow morning to top up my collection. John deserves a little treat.  _

………………………………………………...

_ Hmmm...now then, should I go with the black tonight, or the red….or maybe the dark blue?  _

Libby hummed and hawed for a while, surveying her extensive lingerie collection. Not wanting to spoil the surprise, she had locked herself in the dressing room (her dressing room!) whilst she debated what would be the best choice for her special date with John that evening. 

In all reality it wouldn’t matter what she wore, she could rock up in a tatty black sack for all John cared, he would still want to pound her senseless all night long, but Libby wanted tonight to be special and was determined to put the effort in and look like she gave a toss. 

_ The blue one, definitely. John won’t be expecting this.  _

Libby settled on something a little different, something she hoped would make a real impression. An inky dark blue set of silk bra and knickers, with matching suspenders and stockings. She tried them on and strutted around the room admiring her reflection in the mirror. Libby was slim with curves in all the right places, though she did have a slight bulge in her lower tummy she’d been battling with since she turned 40 that no amount of sit-ups could shift. She’d grudgingly accepted that it was there to stay, but could dress to hide it. 

Overall Libby was very happy with how she looked. She enjoyed her food and worked out regularly to compensate, after all what was the point in living if you couldn’t indulge from time to time? Life was for enjoying yourself, not for being miserable and existing on rabbit food. 

With that settled Libby went about the rest of her day, pottering around the house which was now officially her home instead of the apartment. It felt strange, she knew the house very well having lived under its roof for several months, but now she had free reign to come and go from any part of it as she pleased, with the exception of Johns private studio of course. That was the only room that he hadn’t given her access to and she understood why. 

The basement studio was John’s sanctuary, his escape from the world when things got too much or for when he simply wanted some privacy. Libby got it, everyone needs their own space from time to time, her included, so she wasn’t offended at all. John made it clear that once she had moved into the main house with him she was also free to retreat to the apartment at any time if she needed to, no questions asked. 

Libby doubted she’d ever need to, but it was reassuring to know the option was there. She’d lived by herself for years and hadn’t been used to sharing her life with a significant other for some time, so she couldn’t be entirely sure how she’d cope once she settled into domestic life with John. Not that she wasn’t looking forward to it, the thought was a wonderful one. An exciting one.

Libby had moved most of her personal possessions down from the apartment into the house after much prompting from John. She had been unsure initially, not wanting to seem like she was trying to take over. 

“It won’t be much of a home for you without your own things will it love?” John had countered. “You can put your stuff wherever you want, I don’t mind honestly”

“...Even my toy bears and penguins?” 

John smiled warmly, making the lines around his eyes crinkle. “Yes...even your fluffy animals” He chuckled, “I have to admit some of them are pretty cute, just don’t be surprised if the grandkids take a shine to them the next time they visit” 

“You’re never too old for a fluffy toy” Libby agreed, “I don’t mind if they want to have a play, they’re not just for looking at, though I will be prepared to carry out bag checks to make sure none of them find their way out of the house...” 

John rolled his eyes, “Yes boss! Anyway, speaking of play time...erm, I’d prefer that no animals make their way into the bedroom...it might be a little erm, off putting to have them staring at us when...you know…we’re enjoying ourselves”

“I totally understand” Libby smiled, “My little furry friends will be quite happy in my dressing room” 

As it turned out a bunch of cuddly toys would be the least of John’s worries, there would be something else entirely to put John off his stride that evening, something that neither he or Libby would see coming. 

Something that would be a real challenge to overcome. 

……………. 

The evening started off very well, with a relaxed and casual dinner at a family run Italian bistro just a few minutes walk from home. John and Libby clinked glasses to toast the start of their new life together, sharing the house and living as a proper couple. It really was something to celebrate. 

Neither John or Libby wanted to admit it out loud, but expectations were high for the first night together in their bed. No longer just John’s bed.. _.their _ bed. They were both nervous and excited about what was to come. What they hoped at least was to come. Conversation during the evening was kept light hearted with talk of fun plans for the coming few weeks, movies that Libby wanted to see, and even more books that John had his eye on. 

The rate the pair were going they’d soon need to buy shares in Cineworld and Waterstones. 

“How about we take the long way home?” Libby suggested once dinner was done, “It’s a lovely evening and it might be quite nice to have a wander round the park en route?” She was keen to get back to continue the fun of course, but didn’t want to appear too keen. 

“That’s a great idea” John agreed with a smile, “You read my mind actually” The man's nerves were starting to kick in a little bit, so he too was more than happy to drag out their return home a little longer. He was under no illusion what Libby was expecting later on that night, even though neither of them had mentioned it at all. He wanted it too but couldn’t help worrying for some reason. 

John shook that thought from his head as he linked arms with Libby to make a slow walk back. What should have taken 10 minutes tops became a half hour stroll around the local neighbourhood via the park and quiet back streets. It was peaceful and just the thing to settle the stomach after a decent meal. 

“Do you ever look at a house as you walk past, and wonder about the people who live there?” Libby pondered out loud, “You know, the type of person they are? What the decor’s like? Is it modern or more traditional? etc...” 

“I can’t say I ever have to be honest” John admitted, “I mean, why would I when I have the perfect home already?” 

Libby chuckled at that, “Just me then?! I guess I’m just a nosy sod, that’s why I adore watching Homes Under the Hammer. I love to see the transformations people come up with, especially with older buildings that have seen better days” 

“You should have seen the state of the house when I first moved in around 76” John mused, “It was nothing like it is now” 

“Really? In what way?” 

“Well we had a flat initially, on the ground floor as the house was divided up back then into smaller units. Though I managed to get some cash together after a year or so and gradually took over the whole building. I’ve got some photos knocking about somewhere, I’ll see if I can find them” 

“So you converted it back into one house?”

“Yep, pretty much. It took a good couple of years though to complete in-between work and the kids”

“But look at it now, it’s stunning. All that time and effort was definitely worth it” 

“Yes, I think so” John nodded, “Though at the time our neighbours didn’t agree, they threatened more than once to get the Council involved, to try and pull the plug. Ronnie got them on side though with daily deliveries of her home made bread and cakes” 

“Aha, the old feed em up to keep them sweet routine eh?”

“Something like that”

There was something in the air when John and Libby arrived back home, a slight awkwardness with a subtle sexual tension brewing in the background. Subtle looks and soft kisses were exchanged as they meandered about. They were acting like a pair of teenagers sneaking around the house whilst their parents were asleep upstairs. 

“Do you erm, fancy a coffee love?” Libby offered, “...I’ll go get the kettle on”

John’s response to that was to gently take Libby’s arm and pull her into a hug, he nosed at her neck and nibbled at the shell of her ear. 

“That’ll be a no then...ohhhhh….”

Before long Libby found herself backed up against the kitchen table, the hard edge digging into her thighs. She wrapped both arms around John’s neck and leaned her head back as he continued to work his way along her throat, peppering her warm skin with feather light kisses. 

John slipped his hands inside Libby’s shirt, smoothing them slowly around her waist and up towards her chest. Before he reached his goal however Libby suddenly screeched in his ear and pushed him away from her in a panic. 

“...What the...what’s going on?! Are you ok?!” 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry love” Libby gasped, whilst rubbing furiously at her neck, “I’m really ticklish here, urgh! Damn, it feels horrible!” 

John simply stared for a moment, breathing hard before bursting into laughter, “Jesus, is that all? Oh sweetheart, I thought I’d hurt you” 

“It’s not funny!” Libby replied whilst also trying not to giggle, “I knew I was a little ticklish there, but wow....that was something else” 

“Here, let me..”

John stepped forward and placed a hand gently but firmly against Libby’s neck, he massaged the offending spot and was relieved to see Libby relax. 

“Is that better?” 

“Much, thank you” Libby sighed, “I’m fine with a firm touch, anything less though and you risk getting a fist in your face!” 

“I’ll keep that in mind” John chuckled, “...shall we erm, continue this upstairs?” 

_ God yes.  _

“I thought you’d never ask” 

John silently took Libby’s hand and guided her along the hall and up the stairs to the master bedroom. Whilst Libby had been out earlier in the day John had clearly been very busy, cleaning, tidying and dressing the bed with his best linen and the fluffiest pillows. It looked very comfortable and inviting. 

Whilst John’s back was turned for a moment Libby quickly shimmied out of her clothes, depositing her blouse and skirt on a chair by the window. Donning her sexiest set of underwear that she’d picked out earlier, she bit her lip and quietly waited with anticipation for John’s reaction. 

“Libby, sweetheart I…”

The words died in John’s throat as he turned to face Libby and took in her appearance. He was dumbfounded, taken aback and mesmerised by the glorious sight before him that he certainly hadn’t been expecting. 

“...Fuck…”

Libby giggled softly and did a little twirl. “So...what do you think? Do you like it?”

“You...you look incredible” John stammered, “My god…”

“I thought our first night here together warranted something special” Libby smiled. 

“You thought right sweetheart, so right....”

John closed the distance between them and cupped Libby’s face with his hands, leaning in for a deep and passionate kiss. It became clear to Libby then how keen the man was to move things forward, going by the growing hardness in his groin. 

“Let me help you out of this” Libby breathed, toying with the buttons on John's shirt. She made swift work of relieving John of the garment, slipping it off his shoulders and then flung it behind her. Where it landed she didn’t really care. 

LIbby placed her hands on Johns' now bare chest and stepped forward slowly and gently, encouraging him to move backwards. They somehow made it to the bed without tripping over each other, with Libby pushing John down and then climbing into his lap as he shuffled back towards the headboard to get comfortable. 

“Let’s get these out of the way shall we?” Libby smirked, leaning down to unbuckle John’s belt. John lifted his hips without hesitation as she pulled his trousers and boxers down together in one swift motion. They quickly found their way to the floor behind them with the rest of John’s clothes. 

Libby leaned back and admired the view. Despite having been a couple for several weeks now this was the first time she had seen John completely naked, and what a beautiful sight it was. She licked her lips at the thought of the man having his wicked way with her, and took a moment to stroke her hands up and down his torso, enjoying the feel of his warm skin and lush grey chest hair. 

“Your turn now sweetheart, this is gorgeous but I want to see you” John sat up, placing a hand on Libby’s waist to keep her upright, and then reached around her to unclip her bra. He fumbled for a moment, cursing to himself softly. “Why are these damn things so awkward?” 

“Can’t make it too easy” Libby quipped, “Have to make it worth your while” 

With the offending item of underwear now out of the way, John kissed Libby once more whilst cupping her breasts. She moaned appreciatively, rutting against him as her own desire increased rapidly. A little clumsily the pair soon ended up caressing each other, engaging in some soft and gentle foreplay with Libby stroking John’s manhood whilst John in return slipped his free hand into Libby’s underwear. 

The room was soon filled with the soft sounds of the loved up couple pleasuring each other, kissing, groping and touching. It wasn’t long before Libby was close to the point of no return. 

“John love, I want you…” She gasped. 

“Yeah...yeah, let’s be together sweetheart” John replied huskily. 

John nudged Libby gently and encouraged her out of his lap and onto her back. She happily obliged and arranged herself beneath him, her hair fanned across the pillow, and waited with baited breath for what was to come. 

Libby lifted her hips and wriggled out of her now soaked and ruined panties, dropping them over the side of the bed. She then rummaged through her bedside drawer and produced a condom and small bottle of lube. 

At John’s questioning look Libby bit her lip gently and pressed the items into his hand, “I’m not on birth control love, so we’ll have to use these...I hope that’s ok?”

“Of course sweetheart” John smiled warmly, “I would have insisted anyway, I want us both to be safe” 

Libby gently caressed herself as she watched John slip the condom on. She tried not to show her concern as he struggled a little to make it fit, he somehow didn’t seem as hard as he was just a few moments ago. 

“Erm, give me a second love…” 

“Take your time honey” 

It was strange. John had seemed raring to go, as up for it as Libby had been, but now it appeared that his body suddenly wasn’t all that keen. John pasted on a strained smile but it was clear how stressed and uncomfortable he was. The look on the man's face was heartbreaking, a mixture of shame, embarrassment and frustration. He had so wanted his and Libby’s first time together to be special but it clearly wasn’t to be. 

Libby watched as John desperately tried to get himself going again, but it wasn’t happening. He muttered to himself, swearing under his breath as his cock grew limper and limper, not responding to his furious stroking. Eventually he gave up as the condom slipped off and landed on the bed with a soft plop. 

There was an awkward silence for a moment as John slowly leaned back on his heels, his chin tucked into his chest. 

“...I’m sorry, I...I erm, don’t think it’s going to happen tonight…” John whispered sadly, “I’m so sorry…”

Libby felt a surge of love for John at that moment, at how vulnerable and devastated he was. He had laid himself bare before her both physically and emotionally, and his body had betrayed him at the worst possible moment. 

“Hey, hey it’s ok, it’s alright sweetheart” Libby tried to reassure John in a quiet, calm and soothing voice. “It’s ok, honestly...John, please look at me”

John tried not to let his tears of frustration fall as he looked up slowly to meet Libby’s concerned gaze. 

“...I don’t know what’s wrong with me” John whispered.

“There’s nothing wrong with you at all my love” Libby replied quietly, “It just wasn’t meant to be tonight which is absolutely fine. We can try again later, or in the morning if you want to. Come here, come on, let’s hug it out”

Libby held her arms out but John shook his head. “I think it’s best if we just get to sleep now, it’s been a long day…”

Libby tried not to let her disappointment show, she couldn’t help feeling a little rejected. 

“...Oh, ok...alright love”

Libby gave John his space as they both changed into their sleepwear and settled down for the night. It seemed wrong to be so close but not touching, but Libby knew it wasn’t wise to try and push for more when John was in a bad place. She would have to be patient and hope things would be better in the morning. 

It took Libby some time to drift off to sleep, with the evening's events going round in her head. She couldn’t help thinking it was her fault in some way, not that she wasn’t attractive, far from it. She was very confident in her appearance and considered herself to be a bit of a catch as narcissistic as that sounded. Libby wondered if maybe she’d put John under too much pressure to perform.

_ Maybe I shouldn’t have tried so hard? Should have kept things more casual?  _

She looked over sadly at John who was on his side facing away from her snoring lightly, she was certain he wasn’t sleeping all that well either but resisted the urge to shuffle over and cuddle him. He had made it clear earlier that he wasn’t in the mood for anything physical after his failure to rise to the occasion. The poor guy was probably blaming himself. 

Libby laid still and waited somewhat restlessly for sleep to come, hoping that in the morning they could both laugh off their failure to consummate their union and try again. In the grand scheme of things it wasn’t a major problem, it happened to lots of couples from time to time, and was nothing to be ashamed of, but it threatened to escalate into something much bigger if they failed to get past it. 

_ Have faith girl, have faith.  _

………………………………………………….

Libby awoke the next morning not feeling all that well rested which was no surprise. What was a surprise though was the fact she was alone in bed. She rolled over and stared at the empty space where John should have been. Her heart sank a little on discovering the sheets were cold, John must have got up a while ago. 

_ Where on earth is he? _

That question was answered by the sudden appearance of a steaming hot mug of tea being placed on the bedside table, accompanied by a custard cream biscuit. Libby looked up and was met with a tired looking John. 

_ I guess he slept as well as I did then?  _

“Hey, morning love” Libby sat up and took a sip of her tea, “Thank you for this. Did you erm, sleep ok?” 

“So so” John answered a little flatly, “You?” 

Libby frowned a little at John’s monosyllabic response.  _ Please don’t be like this love... _

“Yeah, not too bad. Look, erm about last night...are you ok?”

“Yeah fine, why wouldn’t I be?” John replied quickly and a little defensively. 

Libby simply responded by taking another sip of her tea and raised her eyebrows. She was not going to be drawn into an argument. That would get them nowhere. 

John sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. “...I’m sorry sweetheart, I don’t mean to take things out on you. I...well…” He tailed off with a despondent look on his face. 

Libby reached out and rubbed a reassuring hand up and down John’s arm. “I’m not gonna lie sweetheart, last night was a little disappointing, I have to be honest. But it’s ok, these things happen. We can try again tonight, or whenever we’re ready” 

“I really don’t see the point” John blurted out. 

_ Eh?!  _

“What do you mean love?” Libby asked worriedly, “Do you not want to? If it’s something I’ve done, then please tell me…”

“It’s not you. It’s me. I’m too old for this, I’m past my prime” 

_ Too old? What the…? He’s 69 not 99! _

Libby took a deep breath, doing her best to keep her voice quiet and calm. She wasn’t about to let John bash himself or put himself down, not after all the progress he’d made recently. 

“It’s nothing to do with your age John, nothing at all I promise you”

“How do you know that?” He replied quietly.

“Well...you’ve not had a problem recently with getting an erection in my presence have you?” 

John cringed and put his head in his hands, he wasn’t comfortable at all with discussing the subject. 

“Look, I know it’s not easy to talk about, but ignoring it won’t make it go away. It’s important that as a couple we discuss issues like this. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately, that never helps, and I don’t think I helped last night either really, did I?” 

“What do you mean? You did nothing wrong?” 

“I was expecting us to have sex last night, and I was really looking forward to it” Libby in a matter of fact manner. “I tried all the tricks in the book to get you in the mood, but if deep down you weren’t really up for it, then that wasn’t fair. On either of us”

“It’s not that I don’t want to...I do want us to sleep together, I really do” John said in an almost whisper. 

“What do you think happened last night then?” 

“I...erm, I was nervous. I didn’t want to let you down” John admitted. 

“Oh love...there’s no need to be nervous around me, you know that. I never ever judge. I want us to have fun, and to be able to laugh in the bedroom” 

“Me too...I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough”

_ No no no...we’re not having this. _

“Stop! You are good enough and you did not let me down” Libby replied firmly, taking John’s hands in her own. “Now you listen to me, John Richard Deacon. I am not having this, alright? You are a very attractive, sexy and intelligent man, and I love being with you. We just had a blip last night that’s all, that’s all it was, a blip”

John looked up and nodded slightly at Libby’s encouraging smile. 

“What do you say we forget any thoughts about sex for now, and just focus on having a nice time together?” Libby suggested, “When it happens, it happens, and when it does it’ll be lovely. Well, it might not be lovely, it might be an embarrassing fart filled mess, but it’ll still be fun” 

John couldn’t help but laugh at Libby’s choice of words. “Please tell me you haven’t done that?” 

“What? Fart during sex? Actually I have” Libby replied with a completely straight face, “An old boyfriend of mine got me so relaxed one time that I couldn’t stop myself and I farted right in his face” 

John almost fell off the bed from laughing so hard, wiping the tears from his face. 

“Oh god, please don’t let that happen to us!”

“Ah, so what if it does” Libby waved a hand dismissively, “...as long as neither of us follows through…I’d hate to ruin these nice sheets”

“Oh love, you never fail to surprise me you know” John chuckled, “I’m sorry for being so...so…”

“Normal?” Libby replied, “Look, it’s ok. When the time is right and we’re both properly in the mood it’ll happen. There’s no rush after all, it’s not a race. Sex is an important part of a relationship, but it shouldn’t be the main focus” 

“Yeah...you’re right sweetheart, I need to stop putting pressure on myself” 

“Yes! Exactly, give yourself more credit”

“....Maybe, erm...perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to see my GP, to get checked over” 

“That’s a good idea” Libby agreed, feeling pleased that John was taking his health seriously “To put your mind at rest if nothing else”

John smiled, a genuine smile that this time reached his eyes. For the first time that morning he seemed relaxed and more like himself. 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I fancy another cup of tea” Libby declared, extracting herself from John’s hands and hauling herself out of bed. 

“You know where the kitchen is” John quipped. 

_ That’s more like it!  _

“Cheek! Make your own next time!”

“I did!” 

Libby shook her head in amusement as John wiggled his eyebrows at her before getting up to leave the room. 

She had a feeling that things were going to be ok, it might take some work, but John was worth it.

Oh so worth it. 

  
  



	23. Chapter 23

_ Christ, that was close. _

John hated keeping secrets, it felt dishonest in a way, and wrong to hide things from his girlfriend. He could be forgiven however on this occasion, seeing as it was for a very good cause. A few little white lies here and there had also been necessary but wouldn’t do any harm, or so he hoped. The benefits would definitely outweigh the little bit of stress John had felt under recently to keep his plans under wraps. 

Convincing himself of that was only half the battle.

Now that Libby was dating John, and actually living with him as his partner rather than simply residing under the same roof, it was difficult to keep things from her. She was naturally curious given her profession and could sniff things out from a mile away. In any other situation these traits would be useful and very much welcome but now….well, it was making life a little difficult for him.

John sure didn’t make things easy for himself sometimes. 

He let out a sigh as he watched Libby wander away towards her office, humming contentedly to herself. She had absolutely no idea what John was planning, and in all honesty he didn’t know how she would react when all was revealed. He had never planned a surprise for her before and wondered if it was a good idea. 

He’d soon find out. 

John listened out to check Libby wasn’t about to come into the room again before he pulled his iPad back out from underneath the sofa, where he’d unceremoniously shoved it just minutes before. Just one more click and everything would be sorted. He could have just gone down to the basement or disappeared into the bedroom for a while, but didn’t want to look suspicious. 

John frowned to himself as he realised how utterly daft that sounded. 

_ Libby’s working, she wouldn’t even bloody notice where I’d gone...oh well. There...all...done _ . 

John sighed with relief, then smiled to himself as a confirmation email immediately landed in his inbox. Now all he had to do was choose the right moment to break the news to Libby, but not before ensuring her diary was clear for the next few weeks. A few more clicks should sort that out. 

John locked his iPad and gently placed it on the table. He sat back with a slight smirk and waited a moment with baited breath. If he knew Libby as well as he thought he did it wouldn’t be long before he got a reaction. 

30 seconds later…

“...John?” 

_ Bingo. _

“John?” Libby appeared in the doorway with a confused look on her face. “You’ve cancelled all your appointments for the next three weeks?”

“Yes, that’s right” 

“So...it wasn’t an accident then?” Libby asked slowly, “You did mean to clear your diary…and mine as well?”

“I did indeed” 

“....Right…is there anything I need to know?” 

John was starting to struggle with keeping a straight face. 

_ Shit. I’m gonna have to come clean, she already knows something’s up.  _

“Oh god, I can’t lie to you any longer, come take a seat love” 

“Is something wrong?” Libby asked worriedly. 

“No, no, not at all. Don’t worry, please come sit” John patted the sofa and encouraged Libby to join him. 

Libby didn’t look convinced but tentatively took a seat at the other end of the sofa, her hands clasped together tightly. John didn’t look annoyed or angry, but she couldn’t help feeling she’d done something wrong. 

“I feel like such a hypocrite doing this” John began a little nervously, “...when I hate surprises so much...”

“Ok...this is getting weird now, will you please just tell me what’s going on?” Libby interrupted a little frostily. 

“We’re going on holiday...for two weeks….we leave on Saturday...this Saturday morning” 

Libby’s eyes went wide and her eyebrows went so high they almost disappeared into her hairline. 

“You what?! Are you serious? For two whole weeks?” Libby gasped.

John nodded. ”I’ve booked us a little cottage in Scotland. It has one bedroom, an open plan living space with a real log fire, and a hot tub in the garden...”

Libby was stunned into silence for a moment. She waited for the punchline to come, for John to confess that he was joking and was winding her up. Instead he sat watching her with an expectant and slightly amused look on his face.

_ He’s not joking, he’s actually taking me on holiday... _

“...I...erm, bloody hell...oh my god, wow!” 

“I hope you’re not mad at me, but I couldn’t resist. I thought it would be nice to get away for a short while” 

“No, of course I’m not mad” Libby giggled with a wide smile, “I’m just a bit shocked that’s all, I wasn’t expecting this. I honestly thought something was wrong. You are very crafty mister, getting me going like that, I honestly thought I’d screwed something up!” 

“Oh I’m sorry love, that was a bit mean of me. I was going to break the news to you this Friday night but there’s no way I could have kept the secret much longer, you would have figured out I was hiding something before long. Am I forgiven?” 

“Of course you are, you daft sod! How long have you been planning this for then?” 

“About a month or so”

Libby shook her head in fond exasperation. “...and I never noticed, I’m getting lax in my old age”

“Old indeed! But erm...what do you think?” John asked a little nervously, “I thought it would be great to get away from everything for a bit, from all the stress of recent weeks, you know…”

Libby’s face softened and she shuffled up the sofa to wrap her arms around her beloved, resting her head on his shoulder. “It sounds wonderful, it really does. You definitely deserve a break from normal life and a chance to unwind”

“We both do” John nodded, “I felt so awful about what happened with the kids on my birthday, what Robert and Michael said about you…”

“That wasn’t your fault, love, you know that. We’ve been through this before so please stop blaming yourself. But yeah, a little trip away together does sound really really nice” 

John felt a huge surge of relief, his shoulders sagging a good few inches. “I think you’ll really like the place I’ve booked...at least I hope you will. It’s off the beaten track in the countryside, with a few little villages and nice pubs nearby, and some good trailways and walking routes. I took a chance and went with a place that I thought would suit us both in a way”

“That sounds perfect, as you know I love a good long walk on a nice day, or on any day actually” Libby smiled before adding with a smirk, “...I think I can go without shopping for a few days and relax in the country with you instead, though it might be a bit of a struggle...” 

“Oh, well don’t force yourself!” 

Libby laughed out loud and punched John lightly on the arm. 

“Cheek! But no, seriously love it does sound wonderful. I have to admit you’re right, I think we do both need a break. I just wish you’d said something though, so I could have helped you plan it all, you didn’t need to keep it to yourself” 

“It’s my treat, and I wanted it to be a surprise. In any case I didn’t want to burden you with it, you’ve got enough on your plate right now” John rubbed a hand gently up and down Libby’s arm. 

“Planning a holiday is hardly a burden. In any case, planning and organising things is my job, it’s what I do best” 

“Exactly” John countered, “It’s your job, so you shouldn’t have to do that in your down time” 

Libby didn’t quite understand John’s logic but smiled all the same. He’d been so thoughtful to even think of taking her away in the first place, it seemed quite romantic. She didn’t realise he had it in him. 

“So where exactly is this place then, where are you taking me?” Libby asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity, “I’m intrigued now, or is that a secret too? You thinking of taking me on a magical mystery tour?”

“No, no don’t worry I’m not that cruel” John grabbed his iPad and opened up the webpage for the holiday home he’d just booked. Libby leaned in placing a hand on John’s thigh, and cooed over the images that popped up of an idyllic looking chocolate box style property with a thatched roof. It was small but perfectly formed, and surrounded by miles of fields and mountains with only a few sheep and cows for company. 

“Oh it’s beautiful” Libby breathed. 

“Yeah? You like it?” John pecked Libby on the cheek, “I wasn’t sure if it might be a bit too remote for you”

“...How remote is remote?” 

“Hmmm, I dunno...like...100 miles from the nearest airport, 50 or so from the motorway, couple of miles from the nearest village” 

“That’s hardly remote love” Libby scoffed, “Sounds no worse than parts of Cornwall. You can drive for hours before you get anywhere near a main road. You should know that, you said yourself you’ve spent a fair bit of time there back in the day”

“That I did...well anyways, this place is in the Scottish Borders, about half way between Edinburgh and Carlisle. The drive up should take around 6, 7 hours or so, depending on the traffic...” 

_ What the hell...he wants to drive all that way? I thought this was meant to be a relaxing holiday?  _

Libby didn’t need to voice her displeasure at the thought of sitting in a car for so long, her face did that for her. On seeing her thoroughly unimpressed impression John did his best to sweeten the deal. 

“Oh don’t worry sweetheart, we won’t be driving straight there in one go” John smiled reassuringly.

“But why drive at all?” Libby asked, “Why not fly up? It’s less than an hour from London surely? You can get cheap flights all day long” 

“But where’s the fun in that?” John countered, “We can take the scenic route up the A1, take our time and stop off anywhere that catches our eye, it’ll be fun”

_ That’s not what I’d call fun... _

Libby still wasn’t convinced but pasted on a smile for John’s benefit. “Alright, well...If we’re going to do that then we’ll need to hire a decent car, and also stay the night somewhere halfway won’t we? Otherwise I can’t see us getting there until stupid o’clock. I’m sure that neither of us will be a good mood when we’re tired, stressed and hungry from hours on the road” 

“Don’t worry my love, it’s all in hand” John beamed

“You what?” Libby laughed 

John playfully rolled his eyes, “Don’t sound so surprised, I am perfectly capable of planning a trip, I did it enough times when the kids were small. I’ve already booked us a hire car which is being delivered straight here Friday afternoon, and a room at a B&B on the edge of the Peak District which is roughly the halfway point between here and the Scottish border. It’s called Church Villa...in Cock Alley”

_ Now this has to be a wind up... _

“It’s true, look” At Libby’s incredulous expression John opened up another web page, which proved he wasn’t having a giggle at her expense. “You think that’s bad, there’s a place in Dorset called Shitterton” 

“Seriously?!” 

“Yep, look...” 

Libby couldn’t hold back her giggles as she found herself poring through pages and pages of strange, bizarre, funny and downright rude street and place names. Some of which she could never have even dreamed of. 

“Back Passage”

“Bell End”

“Slack Bottom…”

“Sandy Balls” 

“Badgers Mount” 

“Brown Willy” 

….and the best one yet…

“Twatt!”

Anyone listening in would be forgiven for thinking John and Libby were having some kind of domestic, when in reality the pair were crying with laughter. The kind of laughter where very little noise comes out, other than the odd loud snort and a good impression of several farm yard animals. 

Old MacDonald would be proud. 

After far too long a time to be sensible the hilarity finally calmed down with Libby wiping tears from her eyes, and John having to readjust and clean his steamed up glasses. He locked his iPad and placed it carefully on the coffee table whilst chuckling to himself. 

“We have got to visit some of those places love, seriously. I won’t believe it until I see them with my own eyes!” Libby declared, “Imagine how funny that would be? It would be the best road trip ever!” 

“I thought you weren’t all that keen on road trips?” John teased with a raised eyebrow, “You’ve suddenly changed your tune”

“Oh come on, how could I not?! You’ve whetted my appetite now with that lot!”

“Well you never know, we may come across a few of those gems and more besides during our trip up North” 

“Oh I hope so, I really do!” Libby clapped her hands together with glee, looking for all the world like an excited toddler. John shook his head fondly and rolled his eyes, wondering if he realised what he was letting himself in for. He’d unleashed a monster, albeit a soft, cuddly and sexy little monster. 

“Urgh, I really should get back to work and get everything tied up before we go on our travels. I’ll need time to pack!” Libby stood and stretched her arms out above her head, “God knows how I’ll concentrate now though, I can’t get some of those names out of my head, Twatt indeed...ha!” 

“I can always send you some accounts to look through?” John offered with a smirk, “...If you find yourself getting bored” 

“No no! You’re alright thanks” Libby smiled sweetly, pecking John on the cheek before making a quick exit from the room in case he wasn’t actually joking, “I’m sure I’ll manage” She called out in a sing-song voice. 

John smiled to himself as he listened to Libby potter about in the office, muttering and humming to herself. His mind then suddenly wandered back to the days when he would be the odd one out amongst his band mates, and would don all manner of colourful, wacky and downright stupid shirts and sweaters simply because he could, and most of the time just to be awkward and piss the others off. 

_ I wonder… _

John stuck his head briefly round the office door to check that Libby was suitably distracted and then headed upstairs to the master bedroom. He rummaged through his wardrobes, drawers and then under the bed determined to find what he was looking for. 

_ It’s here somewhere, I know it is… _

John slumped heavily onto the bed with pursed lips having seemingly exhausted all avenues. He tapped a hand on his thigh in frustration and wracked his brain, trying to think of where the illusive item he was searching for might be hiding. He was certain it hadn’t been thrown out even though it was donkey’s years old by now and probably wouldn’t fit him anymore. 

_ Where are you, you bugger...?  _

_...Hang on...I wonder…? _

A proverbial lightbulb lit up in John’s brain as a thought suddenly occurred to him. He jumped up and hurried across the hall to the smallest of the spare bedrooms, almost falling over a stray large fluffy penguin en route that had obviously been forgotten during Libby’s transformation in the room next door. 

_ Bloody things, I swear these are breeding like sodding rabbits.  _

John chucked the offending toy across the room, making a mental note to rescue it later before Libby noticed it was missing. She loved the damn things so much, he daren’t attempt to bin it or smuggle it out of the house under the arm of one of the grand kids. His life wouldn’t be worth living. 

A search through a pile of dusty suitcases on top of the wardrobe finally rewarded John with what he’d been looking for, buried amongst piles of out of season clothing that would probably never see the light of day again, despite his best intentions. He had always been reluctant to throw things out, especially those that had sentimental value. 

John held up the item in triumph and admired it, grinning like a cheshire cat. Now all he had to do was get it past Libby without her noticing, well at least until the right moment. 

This was going to be fun. 

Really good fun. 

………………………………………….

Libby woke the following Saturday morning feeling a mixture of excitement and nerves, so nervous in fact that the butterflies in her stomach were doing somersaults, like some kind of miniature circus. 

Now that was a strange image. 

Libby had no reason to be nervous, deep down she knew that. She was going on holiday for god's sake, holidays were fun, for relaxation and chilling out. This wasn’t just any old trip though, she was going on her first holiday with John. The man she’d been fortunate enough to call her boyfriend for the previous few months. The man she was happily dating...but had to yet to go all the way with. The man she was sleeping with, literally. They were now sleeping in the same bed but not much else had happened yet, though it hadn’t been for want of trying. 

Libby felt her skin prickle with something she couldn’t describe at the thought. It suddenly dawned on her that perhaps this trip was John’s way of addressing the issue, him taking her away for a (very) long dirty weekend. It could be disastrous, setting them both up for failure. If any attempts to consummate their union went tits up then being isolated together so far from home would probably only exacerbate the situation. 

_ Stop it!  _

_ Stop being so bloody negative woman, if you expect things to go wrong then they probably will.  _

Libby silently berated herself, giving her brain a good telling off for only seeing the potential downsides and pitfalls to the forthcoming trip, for not giving John the benefit of the doubt. He was doing a lovely thing in taking her away, demonstrating how comfortable he was with her, and that he wanted to enjoy her company with few distractions.

Libby held that thought as she finished packing, debating with herself whether to add some particular  _ items _ from the bedroom that may come in handy. Would it jinx things if she did, or cause disappointment if she didn’t? She hesitated only briefly and then shrugged with a what the hell attitude and stuffed two whole boxes of condoms and a bottle of lube into her handbag. 

Libby wasn’t expecting to get through all of them, not by any stretch of the imagination but it certainly didn’t hurt to be prepared. 

A little hope and a prayer wouldn’t go amiss either. 

…………………………………………

“OK I’m ready to go love, you all set?” John dumped his suitcase on the floor in the hallway, and called out to Libby as he quickly slipped on his jacket, making sure to zip it up at least half way.

“I certainly am” Libby shouted back as she dragged her own case down the stairs and gave John a peck on the lips, “I’m good to go, let's do it”

“Before we head off, how about a selfie, to mark the occasion?” John asked with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. 

Libby raised an eyebrow in surprise, “A selfie? Are you feeling ok love?!”

“Never felt better” John smiled and wrapped an arm around Libby’s shoulders, giving her a gentle squeeze, “I think it’s about time we had a picture or two of us together, and now is the perfect time to start, don’t you think?” 

“...Go on then” 

Libby grabbed her phone from her pocket and held it up. John leaned in so that he and Libby’s heads were touching and he put an arm around her waist to hold her steady, but not before sneaking his other hand inside his jacket to nudge the zip down slightly, and carefully so that Libby wouldn’t notice. 

“Ok, on 3? 1, 2, 3….cheese!”

Satisfied that both their faces were clearly in shot, Libby took a photo, and then one more for luck. She’d never been a fan of taking pictures of herself as she never thought she looked good in them despite her otherwise high self confidence, and this time was no exception, especially when she saw the results. 

“Oh christ, I look hideous!” She laughed, “That has got to go, we can try again later….”

“No! No, it’s fine” John exclaimed, “You look lovely, don’t delete it love. No one needs to see it besides us anyway” 

“Yeah...ok, I guess you’re right…come on, or we’ll never get there”

With bags, cases and jackets safely stowed away in the boot, and after a somewhat animated and lively debate about who would be driving the first leg of the journey, the couple finally got on their way. 

“I’m perfectly capable of driving you know love” Libby all but sulked as the car turned off their street onto the main road, “Admittedly I don’t drive very often, you don’t need to round here, but I do know what I’m doing” 

“I didn’t say you weren’t capable, but this is an unfamiliar car so it’s best I get us out of London. You’re more than welcome to take over when we stop for petrol” 

“Hmmm…..”

John rolled his eyes and glanced over at Libby who was toying with her phone. 

“Hey, let’s see that selfie again love, it can’t be as bad as you said”

“You shouldn’t be looking at my phone whilst you’re driving” Libby admonished John without looking up. 

“I don’t need to, you can hook it up to the display panel there using bluetooth” 

Not wanting to start a silly argument before they’d even left Putney, Libby obeyed and after a few minutes of confusion and much head scratching she got her iPhone hooked up to the cars inbuilt digital display. 

“Ooooh, this is fancy isn’t it? I’ve never seen one of these before” 

John smiled as Libby quickly got over the sulk she absolutely was not having, and spent a few minutes happily scrolling through the multitude of options before finally getting the aforementioned photo to appear on the screen. 

“There you go, see what I mean? It’s absolutely….hang on...what the hell is that?”

John stared straight ahead, fighting to keep a straight face. 

“What’s that love? Something wrong?” 

“.... _ I’m with stupid _ ….?” Libby read out loud. 

“John, stop the car”

_ Uh oh... _

“What’s the matter, love?” John asked innocently. 

“I said, stop the bloody car, now!”

Feeling a little surprised at the apparent anger in Libby’s voice John pulled over as quickly as possible, hoping that he hadn’t upset or insulted her. It was just a joke, surely she realised that? Maybe he didn’t know Libby quite as well as he thought he did yet?

With the car safely parked up in a layby Libby unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over to get a good look at what John was wearing. John played along and let her move his arms out of the way to reveal the comedy slogan emblazoned across his chest. Libby’s face was unreadable at first, giving nothing away at all but after a few moments silence her mouth twitched and to John’s immense relief she burst into laughter. 

“You bastard!” She laughed, “You sneaky swine!”

“Good innit?” John grinned with a waggle of his eyebrows. 

“That’s why you wanted to take a selfie so badly this morning?”

“Catch on quick don’t you?” John quipped which earned him a playful clip round the ear. 

Libby leaned back in her seat and let out a long sigh. She crossed her arms and gazed at the photo of herself and John which was still staring back at her. She had to admit it was very funny, and would definitely be something the pair wouldn’t forget for a while. 

“I’ve never seen that jumper before, where on earth did you get that?” Libby asked.

“Oh I’ve had this for years love. I bought this back in the early 80’s somewhere in the deepest, darkest depths of the Canadian midwest. I’m surprised I was able to get into it still actually, as you may have noticed it’s a little tight about my middle” 

“You can’t be comfortable in that surely? Were you planning on wearing that all day?”

“That’s the plan” John shrugged. 

_ I’m dating the biggest kid on Earth… _

Libby pursed her lips and shook her head. “Hmmm….well, in that case, whenever we stop for a break you’d better keep to the right of me then”

“You what?” John frowned. 

_ Now who’s being slow? _

“The arrow on your jumper? It’s pointing to the right? You stand the wrong side of me in public wearing that and you risk insulting someone...”

_ Or getting your photo in the papers... _

John must have read Libby’s mind as he gave her a knowing look. “Oh don’t worry sweetheart, I was just winding you up a bit. I’ll keep my jacket on when we leave the car, I won’t risk embarrassing you or myself” 

_ Thank god for that.  _

“...I was thinking though...I might wear it to bed tonight, if it’s cold enough…”

Libby slapped a hand against her forehead and groaned loudly. 

_ Yep, I’m dating a right one here….I sure do know how to pick em.  _

………………………………..

It was 6pm before Libby and John finally arrived at their B&B for the night in the Peak District. What should have been a 3 hour drive having been dragged out with several petrol stops, comfort breaks, wrong turns (despite the cars in-built SatNav) and John insisting on diverting via Leicester and nearby Oadby to show Libby where he’d been born and had grown up. 

It was something of a trip down memory lane for John, revisiting his old haunts and reliving childhood memories. Well, those from the early 60’s onwards at least. When John first mentioned his birth place Libby had been intrigued and asked what his childhood had been like, and what he’d enjoyed the most. 

Sadly for John there wasn’t much he could tell about his very early days, as the shock of losing his Dad as a young boy barely into double figures had been too much. He’d been deeply traumatised and sadly forgot all his childhood memories up to that point. All he had to remember his Dad by now was a handful of precious fading photos and a single short piece of super 8 film that had been taken at a family event. 

Libby could sympathise, having lost her Dad at a very young age herself. Growing up with only one parent and an annoying younger sister had been difficult at times, kids could be cruel, making fun of and relentlessly teasing anyone who was different from them. That being said it hadn’t all been doom and gloom, Libby was very close to her Mother as a result just like John had been with his. 

Touring the streets of Leicester and beyond turned out to be far more entertaining that Libby had expected. John left nothing out, taking her to all the places that had been a major part of his life during his formative years. The hospital where he’d been born, the house he’d grown up in, his junior and senior schools, his favourite playgrounds and hang outs as a teenager in the mid 60’s. 

It was all great fun, but also thirsty work.

“John love, how about we have a break and go grab a coffee somewhere?” Libby suggested hoping that her beloved knew of a place nearby that served a decent brew. She had a high level of fitness but was starting to flag after several hours on the road. 

“Of course sweetheart” John smiled, “I’ve not been back here for some time but I do know there used to be a nice little cafe down by the museum. Hopefully it’s still there” 

To John’s delight and Libby’s relief the cafe was indeed still standing, and serving some of the best coffee she had ever tasted. But then she was so in need of a cuppa that anything at that point would have done the job. 

Being a Saturday afternoon the place was packed out and full of life which made it tricky to find a table, but after a short wait John was able to bag a spot in a back corner. Libby wondered as they waited for their coffees whether anyone would recognise John, if he had any friends or family still in the area that might suddenly wander in. No one seemed to be paying them any attention though. 

“Penny for your thoughts, love?” 

Libby looked back at John to find him gazing at her with a questioning but loving look on his face. 

“Oh...I was just wondering, do you have any contacts here, any friends or family still living here that you keep in touch with?” 

A pained look flashed across John's face for a split second which Libby didn’t miss. She regretted asking the question, assuming it was a sore point for him but he still answered her. 

“...No, not these days. There’s no family of mine up here. My sister lives in Cambridge with her family, she has done for years, and I have a couple of nephews but they live abroad. I lost touch with my old school friends years ago after the band took off, I didn’t have the time to come back and visit them anymore” 

“Oh I see, that’s a shame...they weren’t able to come down and visit you in London instead then? Do you see any of them now?” 

“No” John replied simply, taking a sip of his freshly brewed latte. It was pretty clear that he wanted to change the subject. 

_ Well that was awkward. _

“Right…well, it’s been lovely to pay a flying visit and to see all your old haunts. I've never been here before and didn’t know much about it to be honest. I would offer the same and show you my old stomping grounds one day, but I don’t think East London has quite the same appeal somehow”

“Oh I dunno, I’m sure you’d make it entertaining” John smiled a little sadly.

“Everything alright love?” Libby asked gently, feeling concerned at John’s sudden apparent change of mood. 

“....Oh yes, yeah I’m fine...I was just thinking...oh ignore me love, I’m being daft”

“No it’s ok! Tell me, what’s on your mind?”

John hesitated for a moment, stirring his spoon around the remnants of his drink. 

“...I was, well...being back here has got me thinking about my Dad. He’s been gone almost 50 years but I still miss him, well I don’t remember what he was really like, because it was so long ago but I miss having him around...if that makes sense...I’m not making sense am I?” 

“It makes perfect sense” Libby leaned forward and took John’s hand in hers, “I understand. Well I mean, I don’t understand exactly how you feel of course, no one can. But I can relate as I’ve been there myself. I barely knew my Dad, so I don’t remember him at all, but I still wish he was here and I could talk to him, go to him for advice, share good news with him you know? All the normal things that children do with their fathers” 

“I often wonder what he’d have made of my choice of career” John said quietly, “Whether he’d have been proud of me or not?” 

“I’m certain he would have been, and he would have spoken very highly of you and what you achieved” Libby smiled, before raising her cup, “Here’s to our Dads, I’m sure they’re both looking down on us right now from wherever they are, and looking after us in their own special way”

John raised his own cup with a smile even though it was now empty, “Here’s to Arthur and Dave”

“Do you really believe that? That they can see us right now?”

Libby leaned back in her chair and a thoughtful look crossed her face. “Well...I’m not religious, I never have been, but I do think that when people pass on and leave this earth that they go somewhere special to them, somewhere where they’ll always be content and happy, and that they keep an eye on those left behind in some way”

“Hmmmm...” John nodded. He wasn’t convinced himself but respected Libby’s beliefs. 

“Sounds mad doesn’t it?” Libby said on seeing the sceptical look on John’s face. “Not to get too deep and philosophical about it all, but I just think it’s not the end when people die, I mean their souls have to go somewhere surely?”

“Maybe” John replied a little bluntly before finishing off the last few sips of his coffee in one gulp, “Right, well this has been lovely but time’s getting on now. We really should get going if we’re going to avoid the worst of the traffic later. Come on love”

John stood suddenly and quickly shrugged on his jacket. It was clear to Libby that the subject of death and what may come afterwards wasn’t a subject that John was comfortable with. She had a good idea why though, and it wasn’t just because of the early loss of his Father. 

Libby said no more about the subject for the time being, guessing she had pushed John as far as she could for now. The man was an incredibly complex character, often infuriatingly so, with a fascinating past that she was keen to talk to him about, but only when John was ready and comfortable enough to do so. 

Libby hoped that after a few days of being away from it all John would relax enough to open up more to her. She would certainly never force him to reveal more than he was ok with, but it had to be good for the man to talk about his past, even just a little bit. Libby had a headful of questions she wanted to ask and didn’t want to rely on the internet for the answers, especially when many (if not all) the sources seemed rather dubious. 

Their trip had got off to a slightly shaky start with John doing his usual and clamming up at the slightest mention of an uncomfortable subject, but all being well the next two weeks would go some way to helping the man to come out of his proverbial shell even further, and with Libby’s help maybe even address some real issues from his past. 

It could turn out to be either the worst or best trip Libby had ever taken.

Only time would tell. 

  
  



	24. Chapter 24

“Well I don’t know about you sweetheart, but I am certainly ready to crash and chill tonight” 

Libby let out an exhausted sigh as she dragged her case up the path to their AirB&B, trying not to trip and stumble over the uneven ground. It had been a long day, having been on the go since just before 9am that morning and she was now in desperate need of a hot cup of tea and a warm, comfy seat. 

John however had other ideas. 

He carried his own case up the path behind her, offering more than once to help but Libby insisted she could manage. John didn’t seem to have heard what his beloved had said though, or if he had he chose to ignore it, instead declaring that he wanted to visit a local pub that had caught his eye. 

“I saw this place on the drive up just now, The White Hart. It looked very cozy”

Libby dumped her case in the bedroom and frowned as she processed what John had just said, “...Yes I saw that too, but it’s a good mile away at least, you don’t want to walk all that way at this time of night do you? It’s gone 6pm...and it’s getting dark out”

“We can drive” John replied simply.

“...and how do we get back? Unless you want to lose your licence...again” 

John chose to ignore Libby’s jibe, “Easy, we’ll get a cab. We can then walk back to the pub in the morning, have a decent breakfast to set us up for the day, pick up the car and drive back here for our bags” 

Libby made a face as she wandered over to the kitchenette and had a root around in the miniscule fridge, “I’d really rather not, why can’t we just call for a takeaway? Besides we have no idea if they serve food. Oh, there’s a bottle of white wine in here” 

_ What pub doesn’t serve food these days?  _

“I doubt anywhere would deliver this far out, and even if there were enough useful ingredients in that sorry excuse for a fridge, I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t want to cook anything right now, right?” 

Libby looked up and met John’s eyes with a thoroughly unimpressed expression, “What’s all this  _ I _ might not want to cook business? Bit presumptuous isn’t it? Not to mention sexist” 

John let out a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, can we not do this? It’s been a long day, we’re both tired and the last thing we need right now is a stupid argument over nothing”

“Who’s arguing? I’m not, I’m simply stating the facts and trying to make you realise how ridiculous your plan for the evening is. You know I’m right” 

John had to fight hard to hold his tongue and not say something he may regret, as well as avoiding body language that could be interpreted as being inflammatory. Libby had eyes like a hawk, as well as a sixth sense, and was an expert at picking up on the subtlest of gestures that could be taken the wrong way. Nothing got past her. 

“....Ok, alright. Point taken” John walked slowly over to Libby and held his hands up in an act of submission. The woman could be as stubborn as him at times, but John was certain that if he kept his voice low and calm he could persuade her to back down. 

“Don’t do that” 

“Do what?” John frowned in surprise. 

“Don’t give me that look, you know what I mean, that look that says,  _ if I keep saying the right words she’ll give in eventually _ . I know you, I can read you like a bloody book” 

“Are you sulking?” John asked with an amused smirk. 

“....No” 

John bit his lip to prevent a chuckle from slipping out. Libby was avoiding eye contact, looking anywhere but at him. She fiddled with a loose thread on her sleeve and seemed to find a particular spot on the wall very interesting. 

“Not much, you're not” John murmured. He gently prised apart Libby’s arms that were folded tightly across her chest defensively, and pulled her into a loving embrace. He was determined to not end the day on a sour note. 

Libby put up little resistance, it was as the saying goes, futile. She could never resist John’s strong, warm arms, and the comforting scent of his old fashioned cologne. Mixed with the smell of the occasional cigarette it was rather intoxicating. She rested her head in the crook of John’s shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. She was more tired than she realised, and definitely too tired to put up a fight. 

John rocked them both slowly and gently, pressing a soft kiss to her head, moving in lazy circles around the front room like a shy newly married couple performing their first dance in front of a crowd of hundreds of their nearest and dearest. Libby found it soothing, so much so she was prepared to do anything John said...well, within reason. 

“Let’s go” 

“Sorry sweetheart?” John stroked a finger down Libby’s cheek, as he strained to make out her mumblings from the confines of his shoulder. 

Libby extracted herself from John’s embrace and looked up with an air of resignation, “I said let’s go. Let’s go to the pub”

“You sure? I don’t want to force you” 

“No, you’re not forcing me” Libby sighed, but not unhappily, “It’s fine, it does actually make sense. I’m getting hungry now and by the time a delivery gets here I’ll be hangry enough to eat you” 

“....and that’s a bad thing?” John smirked with a waggle of his eyebrows. 

Libby laughed out loud, “There’ll be plenty of time for that later, come on...before I change my mind”

…………………………………………….

  
  


“You’re lucky this place is as cozy inside as it appeared from the road” Libby grumbled, whilst shaking droplets of rain from her hair and wringing out her jacket. She grimaced as she sat down and felt her socks squelch in her shoes. 

“Oh for the love of….they’d better have a decent hand dryer in here” 

Before John could say a word Libby was up and off in the direction of the ladies room in an attempt to dry out her sodden clothes and hair, muttering as she went about something to do with the Pink Panther and comedy rain clouds, interspersed with several choice and colourful swear words. 

John chuckled to himself and cringed slightly, he felt a little guilty, but knew his beloved would calm down once she’d dried off a bit and had some hot food and cold beer inside her. It never failed. 

He’d had the bright idea of walking to the pub, seeing as it looked like a nice evening. Cold and dark, but fresh at the same time. The trouble was, neither of them had thought to check the weather report on arriving in the area, and knew nothing of the pending rain storm that was about to hit them...and hit them it did, with all the force of a hurricane. 

Why is it you never have a brolly when you need one, or a decent waterproof overcoat? 

God only knew what the bar staff and small loyal congregation of punters thought when the bedraggled pair rushed in. 

They made quite an entrance with Libby both shrieking her displeasure at the conditions outside and loudly berating her companion for the weather. John shot everyone within sight with an apologetic look and made a beeline for an empty table close to a roaring log fire, dragging a thoroughly unimpressed Libby with him. 

Whilst waiting for Libby to sort herself out John got his breath back, and regained his own composure once settled in a comfy seat; a nice big and squashy slightly worn armchair that reminded him of home. One of his favourite pastimes was to relax by the fire in the lounge in his favourite chair, grab a weighty book and while away the hours, getting happily lost in a fictional old school world of his choosing.

John was looking forward to doing the same during the holiday. He’d bought a small stack of modest novels with him and was determined to sneak in some time to enjoy them. Reading was one of his passions, and in his opinion you couldn’t beat the smell or feel of a real old fashioned book. Digital e-readers may have been all the rage but simply couldn’t compete as far as he was concerned. 

John was brought out of his daydream by the return of Libby who to his relief seemed to be in a much more amiable mood, and no longer looked like a drowned rat. A little damp around the edges perhaps but far more human looking. She flopped heavily into the seat opposite and sighed dramatically. 

“Better?” 

“...Yeah...I’ll do. I still can’t believe you dragged me here all this way in the rain…”

John raised an eyebrow, it was definitely time to get the drinks in, and quick. 

“First rounds on me, what are you having love?”

“Anything alcoholic will be just fine” Libby replied with a wave of her hand, “Oh and see what grub they have would you? I could murder a burger, or a curry or something”

John chuckled and shook his head fondly, a hangry Libby was definitely not a happy Libby. 

Half an hour later with two beers gone and her plate practically licked clean Libby was back to her usual, more bubbly self. John had never seen her devour her food so fast, having to gently remind her to slow down to stop her choking or risk indigestion later on. Libby was in no mood to take her time however, the way she attacked her cheeseburger, anyone would think she hadn’t eaten for a week. 

“Damn, that was good” Libby declared contentedly whilst patting her stomach, “Oh yes, I have a very happy tummy now, thanks my love” 

“I’m glad to hear it, and you’re welcome” John smiled, he was feeling fairly content himself with a belly full of scampi and chips. “One more drink I reckon then we can head back if you want?”

“You are joking?”

“What?”

“I’ve only just dried out properly and I’m pretty much settled in over here now. No no, I think we can stay a while longer yet. The night is after all still very young, and we have no need to be up early tomorrow morning” 

That was that then. 

John knew better than to argue with his beloved, having not long ago narrowly averted disaster. 

“Right, that’s me told then, the foot is down! But it’s your turn this time to get the drinks in, mines a Stella please. Off you go! ”

Libby huffed and made a show of slowly hauling herself out of her chair, hoping that John would change his mind. John simply shook his head though and laughed as Libby rolled her eyes before poking her tongue out at him. 

“Fine…whatever” She chuckled, “But I’m getting you two pints so I don’t have to get up again for a while, this chair is far too comfortable”

“How are you gonna manage to carry four drinks by yourself?” John frowned, he had an image in his mind of her balancing a glass on her head like an exotic dancer. 

Libby tapped a finger on the side of her nose and then leaned down to peck John on the cheek. 

“I’ve got it covered, don’t you worry my love” 

_ She could charm the birds from the trees that one. _

John should have known what Libby had in mind. A little bit of harmless flirting and she had the barman eating out of her hand, bringing all their drinks over for her and even giving her a cheeky discount. John wasn’t worried though or jealous at all, he knew he could trust her, and it was all just a bit of fun and banter. He’d learned that before they had even gotten together. 

“Right, that’s it” Libby declared as she got settled and the barman had left them in peace, “I am not moving from this spot again” 

“Suppose you need the loo?” 

“...Don’t ruin it” Libby deadpanned. She fixed John with a faux glare and curled her legs up underneath her. Nope, nothing could move her from her seat now she was bedded in. Not a thing. She’d well and truly taken root and nothing short of an earthquake could persuade her to budge. 

That was at least until things started going south. 

The rain soaked walk (or should that be a sprint?) to the pub aside, it had been a pleasant and relaxed evening for the most part. Libby had gotten over her sulk in record time, and no one in the small establishment seemed to have paid them much attention, despite their bold entrance. 

Life was good. 

Libby was in the middle of a fun filled story from her uni days, chattering away about how she and her friends would visit her local watering hole so often that the landlady knew her by name, and didn’t need to ask what her drink of choice was. John listened intently whilst nursing his pint, nodding every now and then and pitching in with his own memories of nights spent on the piss with his friends. 

The pair were in good spirits but then suddenly the mood changed. John froze as an oddly familiar tune could be heard in the background, his mouth open slightly and glass held to his lips with a trembling hand. Libby didn’t notice initially, being too busy with a quick check of her phone but hummed absent mindedly along with the song, a tale of friendship with a typically 80’s rock vibe to it.

Libby put her phone back in her pocket and looked up to continue the conversation, only to find John sat stiffly with a strange look on his face. Within the space of a few seconds a range of emotions flickered across his features from shock to fear and finally annoyance. 

Libby frowned in confusion wondering what on earth was going on. 

“...Are you ok love?” Libby asked carefully, “Look like you’ve seen a ghost” She chuckled lightly but stopped herself when John glowered at her. 

The man was silent. He leaned forward and carefully placed his glass on the table, his actions slow and deliberate. John was clearly angry about something but Libby had no idea what. Had she said something offensive? 

It was only then that Libby realised she’d been humming away to a Queen song, the distinctive and unique sound of a band that could be mistaken for no other. It was no surprise, Queen had been one of the biggest bands on Earth in their day, and it was normal to hear their work on the radio or TV on a regular basis. 

Since becoming a part of John’s life Libby had often wondered what the retired musician made of hearing his work in public, or if he even noticed. Some of his most famous and well known compositions had been used many times in commercials on prime time TV, and often came up in music based quiz shows. Libby herself would smile and think proudly,  _ my John wrote that _ . John himself however seemed anything but proud, and Libby was at a total loss to explain why. 

Libby knew the basics concerning John’s time as a musician and life before retirement thanks to his ex-wife and a little digging around online. He had been world famous, still was in a way, but a look around their home certainly didn’t reflect that. There was no hint whatsoever of John’s past on display. No photos, no momentos from foreign tours, no gold records, nothing. Not one thing. 

Libby was perplexed by it, why John didn’t seem to want to have any reminders around him of his time as a rock star. John had mentioned the band briefly during conversations once or twice, but never by name, and only in passing. It was almost as if he was ashamed of his past, didn’t want to be reminded of it. 

But why? 

That was one question that Libby didn’t have the answer to and wondered if she ever would. She longed to chat freely with John about his rock and roll exploits, and to have him entertain her with tales of his travels across the globe, playing to hundreds of thousands of adoring fans every night. Veronica had made it clear that John didn’t like to talk about his past in a musical context though, insisting it was best not to bring the subject up, and that he would open up as and when he was ready. 

Libby had no reason to doubt the older woman’s judgement, after all she knew John very well, intimately so, having been married to him for many years, but still...something didn’t seem right. 

“I can’t get any bloody peace...come on let’s go”

Libby was shocked out of her daydream when John suddenly finished off one pint and then swiftly downed the other in one go with a shaking hand. He then stood abruptly, almost knocking the table over and roughly shrugged his jacket on. 

“John, sweetheart what are you doing?” 

“We’re leaving, come on” 

“John, sit down” Libby warned quietly, not wanting to cause a scene or attract unwanted attention. 

John however ignored his partner’s request and remained standing with a scowl on his face, and arms folded. He jiggled one leg in agitation, clearly very uncomfortable about something. 

Libby was starting to get annoyed, she noticed a couple sitting nearby were looking at them and whispering to each other. 

“John, sit down” 

“You don’t unders…”

“For the love of god man, just sit down. Please. Look I’ll go get you another drink” Libby leaned over and attempted to coerce John back into his seat but he wasn’t having it. He shrugged Libby's hand off his arm almost catching her in the face. 

Unfortunately the couple nearby noticed and decided to intervene to Libby’s embarrassment. The husband narrowed his eyes at John and stood drawing his shoulders back. Looking for all the world as if he was preparing for a fight. 

Libby watched in horror as the man started walking towards them.  _ I don’t believe this...all I wanted was a quiet relaxed night in... _

“Everything alright here folks?” 

“Yes, yes! We’re good, thank you so much for asking. It’s just been a long day, a very long day...we’ve had a long drive you know” 

Libby smiled sweetly and fixed the man with a mum-like stare that said,  _ we’re fine, I can handle this. Please go away.  _ To her relief he nodded and slowly backed off to return to his own table, all the while continuing to stare at John as if he was an escaped convict. 

When was she sure they were no longer being watched Libby turned to John with a look of fury. With a bout of strength she didn’t know she had, she leapt up, pushed John back into his seat and relieved him of his jacket in one swift motion, leaving him with no option but to comply. Libby slung John’s jacket over the back of her chair and sat upright with her arms firmly crossed. 

She wanted answers, and she wanted them now. 

“What on earth has gotten into you?” Libby whispered with gritted teeth. “For someone who doesn’t like to bring attention to themselves, you’re doing a bloody good job of showing yourself up right now” 

“I come all this bloody way and I still can’t escape it” John fumed quietly, “It’s everywhere I sodding go, I can’t get away from this shit even when I’m on holiday”

“What are you talking about?”

Libby frowned as she tried to think what had triggered John’s change of mood. All had been fine until the Queen song came on the radio, but surely that couldn’t be it? The idea seemed utterly ridiculous. 

“...Is it the song? Is that what you’re so upset about?” 

“They’re doing it on purpose” John muttered to himself. 

_ Eh? Has he lost the plot?  _

“John love, it’s a local radio station, not a CD. It’s not like someone saw you come in, thought, oh look there’s matey from Queen, let’s ring up and get them to play one of his songs for him. I hear Queen songs all the time on the radio, people love them” 

“Someone’s recognised me” John insisted irritably, “You made such a fuss when we got here, it’s no bloody wonder”

“Hey! don’t you dare blame me. You’re the one who insisted on walking here in the rain, remember?”

“It wasn’t bloody raining when we left, was it?!” John seethed. 

“No, it wasn’t but that’s not the point. You’re making a drama over nothing and ruining what was meant to be a nice quiet evening, and all over a song? A song that isn’t even one of your best? You’re being pathetic” 

That seemed to hit a nerve with John, and a look of pure thunder spread across his face. He seemed on the verge of a coronary, the colour his cheeks were sporting. 

“That’s enough…” John warned quietly, his fists clenching tightly. 

Libby wasn’t done though, and continued to probe. 

“I’m serious love, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t expect to earn money from the songs you’ve written if they’re not played publicly. I don’t know much about the music business I’ll admit, but even I know that’s how royalties work” 

“Libby, stop...please” John was struggling by now to keep his composure. 

“No, I’m sorry this is stupid. If you didn’t want the attention then why join a rock band in the first place? You must have known what the outcome may have been?” 

That was it for John. He didn’t say a word but his face said it all. The man was done with a capital D. He stood so quickly his chair fell over and hit the floor with a loud clatter. 

“Jacket, now” John demanded, holding his hand out.

“So what, that’s it? You’re not speaking to me now?” Libby asked incredulously as she reluctantly handed over the requested garment, “Come on, we need to talk about this” 

“I think you’ve said enough” John spat out, “You’ve made it quite clear your feelings on the matter. I’m going back”

Libby watched in despair as John stormed from the pub, angrily slamming the door shut behind him. She had a good mind to stay put and let the man walk his anger off, but it was now close to 10pm and pitch black outside. John was also very angry and very drunk, and she worried what may become of him if she didn’t follow. 

Libby quickly apologised to the watching bar staff, left a very generous tip on the table and then legged it from the building, hoping that John hadn’t got too far. She spotted him stalking up the path towards the main road, and then to her annoyance he started walking in completely the wrong direction. 

_ Oh for the love of…I’m gonna kill him, if a passing car doesn’t get him then I bloody well will. _

“John! John, wait. You’re going the wrong bloody way!” 

John kept walking for a moment, seemingly ignoring Libby’s cries but then suddenly turned on his heel and retraced his steps. He turned the collar of his jacket up and shoved his hands in his pockets against the cold as he walked. The earlier rain had stopped thankfully but it was still bitter out. 

Libby had to run to catch up with John; he was walking so fast. She called his name several times but he continued to ignore her, intent only on getting back to the privacy of the B&B. 

“John, god's sake please, this is insane!” Libby finally caught up with her beloved. “I’m sorry if I upset you back there, but you’re not making any sense. Please tell me what’s going on”

“I don’t need to do I?” John shot back, “You’ve got it all figured out. You have all the answers as usual”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand?”

“Of course you do, don’t give me that. You said it yourself, I’m an idiot. I’m a damn fool for getting into the music business when I didn’t want to” 

“I didn’t say that! You’re putting words into my mouth now”

“You’re right, ok?” John stopped suddenly and whirled round to face Libby angrily, “You’re always bloody right. I only wanted to play bass for fun, a part time thing whilst I studied. But noooo, we couldn’t have that could we?”

“John, wha…”

“I never wanted this, I never wanted any of it” John was shouting by now, his voice growing hoarse in the bitter cold air, “I never wanted to be famous, why the fuck would I want that? It was hideous. It still is hideous. I had no privacy, no time to myself, constant pressure to perform, and it never ends. Even now I can’t get away from it with that damn movie, people still want a piece of me and I’m sick of it!”

“John, love I’m sor….”

“My whole life I’ve been dictated to, do this, do that” John starting waving his arms about, “I’ve never been allowed to make a decision for myself. I had to get married when I didn’t want to, had children I didn’t want, had to traipse across the world to play on bloody stage every night when all I wanted was to be at home. I didn’t even have a home I really wanted, I had to fork out millions on a massive house to fit in all the sodding kids that’s turned out to be nothing but a fucking burden” 

Libby was stunned into silence, where had all this come from? It surely couldn’t just be the drink talking. 

“...I could have had the perfect life, the life I really wanted but ooooh no, we couldn’t have that, I’d be letting everyone down.  _ You can’t leave the band John, what about the tour, what about your fans? You haven’t written enough songs John, come on hurry up we have an album to record, oh John I’m pregnant again, isn’t it wonderful _ , no it fucking well isnt! What about me and what I want?! No one has ever given a flying fuck about me” 

John’s desperate scream echoed and bounced off the nearby trees. 

Libby held a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs as she took in what John had just told, or rather shouted at her. They were both in tears by now. Years of pent up frustration on John’s part had finally come to the surface and broken free in dramatic fashion. John was breathing hard and fast looking up at the sky with his hands on his hips. 

John wiped a hand across his face and started walking again, not bothering to check if Libby was following. They were just a few hundred metres from the B&B now. 

John practically shut the door in Libby’s face as they arrived home, he was wound up like a coiled spring and still had a shit tonne of tension in him that was battling to get out. He kicked off his shoes, threw his jacket across the room and made a beeline for the fridge, grabbing the bottle of wine that Libby had noticed earlier. 

Before Libby could stop him, John unscrewed the bottle and proceeded to drink, not bothering to look for a glass. He necked it directly from the bottle without even tasting it, throwing his head back and letting dribbles of the liquid run messily down his chin. 

All Libby could do was stand and watch, keeping her distance in case John exploded again. She had to admit she was a little scared of what the man might do next, and she did not want to be in the firing line. 

“You know nothing” John pointed drunkenly in Libby’s direction, “If you did, you wouldn’t have said those awful things back then” 

“...The...then tell me” Libby pleaded quietly, “Help me to understand, I want to understand so I can help you” 

John took one last swing from the bottle then slung it behind him where it luckily landed on the sofa instead of smashing all over the floor, “No one, and I mean no one insults him” John whispered, “No one”

“...Wh...who?”

“He meant everything to me, he was my soul mate, my big brother, he understood me. He listened to me and respected me”

Libby’s eyes went wide as she suddenly realised what John was on about, she wasn’t a huge fan of Queen despite dating their bassist, but even she knew that the friendship between him and the band's singer had been incredibly strong, to the point where even now rumours of a more platonic relationship refused to die. 

Before Libby could respond John was off again, stalking up and down in the tiny lounge. The floodgates had well and truly opened and there was now no stopping the man. 

“I loved him, I loved him so much” John sobbed openly, salty tears flowed down his face and dripped off his nose onto the floor. “He was the only one who understood, he got me. It should have been him, not anyone else”

Libby for once in her life didn’t know what to say. She watched sadly as John fell into the depths of despair, crying his heart out and baring his soul in the most intimate and painful way possible. She wanted to hug him, to comfort and console him. But she resisted, thinking it best to let John get it out of his system first. 

“I love my kids, I love them dearly but I never wanted them, I never wanted so many. I never wanted to get married. I was too bloody young, I was still a kid myself” John continued, hiccuping and sniffing loudly. “I had no choice, I had to do as I was told, it wasn’t fair. There was only one person I wanted but I couldn’t have him”

“My whole life I’ve had to think about others, toe the line and not make a fuss. I was forced into a marriage I didn’t want, forced to have kids I didn’t want. I never wanted any of it, but I had no choice. I made a huge mistake and I ended up paying for it for years. I still am. I’ll never be free from it” 

All the fight seemed to drain out of John at that point. He stopped pacing and slumped down heavily on the couch, putting his head in his hands. The empty wine bottle slipped off and rolled across the floor stopping at Libby’s feet. She crouched down slowly to retrieve it, not taking her eyes off of John who had gone very quiet. 

Libby stood quietly for a moment, processing what had just happened. Taking in everything that John had said. She was shocked but not surprised, she had a feeling that the man had some skeletons in his closet but could never have imagined the extent of them. She couldn’t be sure that everything John had confessed was true either, tiredness and excess alcohol may have adversely fuelled his angry rant. 

Libby walked slowly to the kitchen and disposed of the bottle in the bin, being careful to keep her movements quiet. She leaned back against the sink and nibbled nervously at the skin on her thumb, wondering what to do next. That question was answered for her as she looked over towards the lounge and saw that John had fallen asleep. 

Libby sighed sadly, this was not the start to their holiday that she had hoped for. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and half filled it with water, then walked quietly to the lounge and placed it gently on the coffee table. Libby checked that John was on his side, and couldn’t choke if he was suddenly sick during the night, and gently laid a blanket over him. There was no way she was going to try and wake him after his epic melt down earlier. The best thing was to let the man sleep it off. 

Libby wiped a stray tear from her eye and trudged to the bedroom where she sat down heavily. She was under no illusion it was going to be a bad night for both her and John, neither of them would sleep well at all. 

Libby had that thought in mind as she quietly got ready for bed, slipping into her night clothes and brushed her teeth. She was going to have to have a very painful and awkward conversion with John the following day, if she didn’t then the elephant in the room threatened to evolve rapidly into an entire zoo and turn their trip into a living nightmare. 

Libby took one last look at John before she retired for the night to check he was still alive and breathing, wondering what the hell she was going to say to him in the morning. What do you say to someone who just moments ago had had a breakdown and confessed their deepest and darkest secrets? 

Sadly, Libby didn’t have the answer to that. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this was meant to be the last chapter, but I got carried away so decided to split it, which therefore means there is one more to come, yay! 
> 
> As ever I hope you enjoy, and would appreciate any comments :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say in way of a disclaimer, this is about real life people but the story is fiction and in no way reflects real life. I have the utmost respect for the whole Deacon clan

Libby had had more than her fair share of dodgy relationships over the years, ever since her late teens she’d had a knack for attracting the wrong sort of guy. Whether it was down to poor judgement or just plain bad luck the woman invariably ended up every time with a rotten apple. The sort who would sweep her off her feet, charm her into bed and then disappear the next morning before breakfast, never to be seen again. 

It was a soul destroying pattern, a vicious circle that Libby had seemed destined to be caught in for the rest of her days, until very recently of course. With the arrival of John in her life it finally seemed as if the spell had been broken. After a shaky start their relationship had begun to blossom, evolving with a little outside help from a purely professional one into something far more intimate. 

Libby had been hoping recently that the intimacy between herself and John would grow further still, and they would finally take their relationship to the next level. They hadn’t managed it yet despite their best efforts, but now after the previous evenings theatrics Libby was starting to wonder if they ever would. 

Libby ran through those thoughts in her head as she stared up at the ceiling. It had been a long night, a lonely cold and depressing night. Libby had longed to cuddle up with John, to snuggle up under the blankets with him and enjoy their first night away together, just the two of them. Instead she found herself lying alone and fearing for the future. If they couldn’t get past this, if John, as Libby suspected he might, refused to address his issues then that could well possibly be it. 

Their holiday would be over before it had even started. 

Perhaps John wasn’t the one after all? As much as Libby had wanted him to be. Was she being naive? To think she could take on and get involved romantically with a man who had a tonne of baggage and one hell of a past to contend with? 

She loved a challenge, but even she had her limits. 

Libby did her best to put all negative thoughts to the back of her mind to be dealt with later, and to get back to sleep, after what felt like just five minutes though she was disturbed by the door opening and a sudden bright light in her eyes. She was thoroughly unimpressed when John came barging into the bedroom bearing a steaming hot mug of tea for her. He seemed completely unapologetic about the fact, and annoyingly, as fresh as a daisy. How on earth had all that alcohol the night before had no effect on him, whatsoever? 

“Morning, thought you might like a cuppa. I found some chocolate digestives too…”

“...Wha...what time is it?!” Libby asked groggily. 

“Just gone 6am” John replied a little sharply whilst checking his watch, “You’d best get up and get showered, I want to get going shortly”

_ ….He has got to be joking? _

“I’m sorry...I could have sworn you just said it was 6am, and you want to leave already?” Libby asked carefully. 

“That’s right” John nodded, “Drink up, we can stop for breakfast on the way, my treat” 

With that, John turned and left the room without another word. Libby sat up slowly in bed in astonishment, and listened as John pottered about gathering his belongings. She sighed deeply and sipped at her tea, ignoring the biscuits that she normally would have pounced on. 

It was definitely going to be another long day. 

Just like the previous day the journey north took far longer than it should have thanks to several unscheduled stops for coffee. Not just any old coffee either, industrial strength black coffee as thick as tar was called for, laced with more sugar than was healthy. It didn’t help either that there was a definite tension in the air. John seemed determined not to mention anything about his alcohol fuelled meltdown the night before, acting as if nothing had happened. 

Initially that morning John had seemed a little frosty towards her, but that very quickly wore off. Before long he was being attentive, overly affectionate and unusually touchy feely. If Libby didn’t know any better, she’d think the man was trying to butter her up. He knew he had screwed up and had left a lot of unanswered questions hanging over them. Libby figured this was John’s way of trying to make amends, but she wasn’t going to be swayed that easily. The pair needed to talk. But...not just yet. 

The temptation to ask some very difficult questions straight away was huge, but Libby resisted, thinking it best to hang on and let the air settle for a while, to give John a chance to process things and consider what he’d said and done. She hoped that by the time the pair had arrived at their holiday cottage later that day he would be ready to talk. He certainly wasn’t going to volunteer any explanations himself just yet it seemed. 

The amount of booze the man had knocked back the night before, it was a wonder that he was still alive, let alone perfectly coherent. To Libby’s disbelief he wasn’t nursing a hangover, not one little bit which was a miracle considering the state he’d been in. She worried John may be over the limit still despite appearances, so had insisted on taking the driving seat until she could be certain he was stone cold sober again. 

John relented surprisingly easily, handing the car keys over with a smile and not one word of protest. Libby was naturally suspicious but let it go, not wanting to risk an argument whilst on the road. There would be plenty of time to thrash things out later once they were settled north of the border, figuratively speaking. 

Breakfast that morning was a rather awkward affair. The location for which wasn’t exactly glamourous, a practically deserted Costa Coffee at a run down motorway service station. Libby was on her 4th coffee of the morning already and starting to feel the adverse effects of so much caffeine. She was weary, growing more and more irritable and longing for some home comforts. 

John to her annoyance was quite the opposite, chatting away about nothing in particular, not wanting to sit in silence for any length of time which was very unlike him. No subject it seemed was off limits, well apart from the most important one that the man was doing his best to avoid at all costs. 

Libby forced a smile on her face and nodded along, joining in the conversation as best she could without giving off the vibe that she wanted to smack her boyfriend around the head. It was taking all the woman's effort to stay calm and act nonchalant, that all was well with the world, when in reality their holiday and potentially their relationship was hanging by a thread. 

What a time to be alive. 

John stopped jabbering long enough to finish his coffee, gulping the remains down in one noisy slurp which made Libby wince. She hated feeling like that, where everything no matter how inconsequential would wind her up and get on her nerves. She was bloody certain that John had noticed, but he was either being too polite or pig headed to mention it, and she had a good idea which. 

“Do you want to get going again love?” John asked, “It’s up to you, but it might be wise to hit the road again now, before the traffic gets bad? What do you think?” 

Libby looked at her watch, and was surprised to learn they’d been at the service station for over an hour and a half. 

“Yeah...ok let’s go. I need the loo though first, all this coffee is going right through me” 

“No worries sweetheart” John smiled, “I’ll meet you by the car. Take your time, there’s no rush“

Libby handed the car keys over and watched John wander off. She sighed unhappily to herself. She hated this, the awkwardness and tension between them. To anyone else they would appear to be a normal, everyday couple, just stopping off during a normal everyday road trip. But they were far from it, and it was excruciating. 

Libby observed her reflection in the mirror as she washed her hands in the ladies room. She looked tired, there was no denying that. She had shadows forming under her eyes and the air of someone who had had enough. She splashed some cold water on her face in an attempt to wake herself up, then patted her skin dry with a paper towel. 

_ No more coffee for you Libs, you’ll be bouncing off the walls before long.  _

Nope, it was time to let John do some work and take over the driving seat now that Libby was satisfied he was indeed perfectly sober. She needed some rest, how much she’d actually get whilst on the road though was debatable. 

Libby took her time walking back to the car, she’d been sitting down for so long her legs and backside were in danger of going numb, and she needed a good walk to stretch them out. The service station was pretty small though, so she ended up walking around it twice. She glanced at the people she saw as she went, wondering where they were going or where they’d been. 

Whatever their circumstances, Libby was damn certain they were having a better day than she was. 

Anything had to be better than this. 

Back at the car Libby wasn’t surprised to see John sitting in the passenger seat waiting patiently for her. She deliberately walked as slowly as she could, dragging it out as much as possible. A bitchy move perhaps but she was beyond caring at this point. She walked around to John’s side of the car and tapped on the window which to her amusement made him jump. 

“Oh there you are sweetheart, I thought you got lost! Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, fine. Look I’m not feeling my best, do you mind taking over?” 

“No of course not, are you ok?”

“Just tired, think I’ll take a nap if you don’t mind”

John looked concerned, and not for the first time that morning. Sign of a guilty conscience perhaps? “We can stay here for a while if you want? There’s a hotel on site I noticed, if you want to rest for a couple of hours? I can go get us a room...”

“Oh god no, I just want to get going. We’ve been here long enough as it is, If we stay much longer we’ll never get to Scotland. I’ll be fine, just means you’ll have to keep the radio turned down low that’s all ” 

“That’s fine with me if it means you get some rest” John smiled as he extracted himself from the car, “Come on and get yourself settled, there’s a blanket in the back if you need it. I’ve also got some treats for later if you want them, they’re in the glove compartment. I picked up a few packs of those Mentos that you like, the fruity ones, and a couple of magazines for you too” 

“Great, thanks love…”

Libby smiled tiredly and swapped seats with John, moving the passenger seat back as far as it would go so she could try and relax. She was under no illusion that she would be able to get much rest whilst on their second leg up north, but it didn’t hurt to try and make the best of it. Libby also appreciated John stocking up for the journey, he had good intentions, but had clearly forgotten that she hated reading in the car as it made her feel queasy. So now her favourite periodicals were just inches away but she daren’t touch them for fear of seeing her breakfast again. Her stomach was doing somersaults as it was. 

It felt as if John was trying to wind her up, to goad Libby into snapping at him, to lose her temper in order to take the heat off of him, but she was better than that. Deep down Libby knew John was better than that too, he could be a pain in the arse at times but was never intentionally cruel or petty. Tiredness and nerves were simply clouding her judgement. 

John offered to drive in silence, but Libby knew how much John hated that and whilst she wasn’t overly impressed with the man's behaviour, she agreed to compromise and have the radio on at its lowest setting. She found it quite soothing in a way, having a quiet background noise to doze to. 

The combination of Radio 2, John’s soft, quiet humming and the gentle rocking and bouncing of the car as it navigated the winding roads to Scotland soon worked their magic, and before long Libby found her eyelids feeling very heavy, and she struggled to keep them open. 

_ I’ll just close my eyes for a bit _ , Libby thought to herself as she curled up in her seat and leaned her head back against the headrest,  _ Just for half an hour or so... _

……………………………….

“Sweetheart, we’re here”

“....Hmmmm?”

“We’re here my love” 

Libby cracked her eyes open and for a very brief moment wondered where she was, then a sudden and painful crick in her neck reminded her to her annoyance that she had nodded off in the car and fallen asleep. So much for just a brief nap. 

Libby groaned as she stretched her arms and rolled her shoulders as much as was possible in the confined space of the vehicle. It should have been no surprise really that she had been tired enough to nod off, despite it only being early afternoon. When she thought about it, she couldn't have got more than 4-5 hours sleep the night before. 

“You should have woken me sooner” Libby grumbled, feeling annoyed with herself. 

“Oh I couldn’t bring myself to, you were out for the count. You even snored at one point for a bit, it was quite cute really”

Libby glared at John whilst his back was turned, resisting the urge to poke her tongue out at him or raise her middle finger. She wasn’t going to be reduced to acting like a toddler. 

“Hmmm, I’ll take your word for it. So we’re in Scotland then, and this is our holiday home for the next two weeks?” 

“Sure is, beautiful isn’t it?” 

Libby stepped out of the car and took in her surroundings. John was right, it was beautiful. Stunning actually, just as she’d hoped it would be. Her only regret was being asleep during the drive across the border as she’d been looking forward to experiencing that for the first time. Still no matter, there was always the trip home again...if they made it that far. 

The photos that Libby had seen of the holiday cottage and its rural setting certainly didn’t do it justice. It was like something out of a fairy tale or a film set for a period drama, transporting her back in time to the days of horse and cart. Libby forgot her troubles for a moment as she took it all in; the whitewashed stone walls, beautifully manicured garden, cute little sash windows, a thatched roof and nothing for miles around but gentle rolling hills and the odd sheep dotted about. 

Libby slowly walked up the path towards the cottage and breathed in the fresh Scottish air, it was cold, but felt healthy and invigorating and went some way towards waking her up. It was far healthier than the fume laden air back in London. She stopped as she reached the front door and listened for a moment. With no neighbours to speak of there was no escaping the sense of solitude, and the quietness , So quiet in fact, you could hear a pin drop. It was perfect. 

Hmmmm, yeah perfect maybe for a couple whose relationship wasn’t hanging by a thread. 

Libby shook her head sadly at that thought as she headed inside. The time to address their issues had long passed, and she couldn’t leave them hanging any longer. John had already done the honours and bought their luggage into the bedroom. She found him wandering about, unpacking his belongings and quietly muttering to himself whilst hanging his clothes up in the wardrobe. 

“It’s even better here than I imagined” John exclaimed as he pottered about, “What do you think love?”

“Yes, it’s lovely, really lovely…”

John frowned at the uncertain look on Libby’s face, “You don’t seem sure, is anything wrong? We don’t have to worry about grocery shopping for the next few days if that’s what you’re worried about, I’ve arranged for a food parcel to be delivered this afternoon, we can just shove a pizza in the oven tonight” 

“No it’s not that, this place is great honestly. It’s….well, I think we need to talk”

John looked up sharply with an unreadable expression on his face, then his features softened and yet again he tried to change the subject, “...Of course we can talk later, we can have a nice long chat about our day over dinner tonight, this place doesn’t have Wifi so we’ll have no choice!” 

“John…I didn’t mean...”

“I was thinking it might be nice before then to have an explore of the area and get to know the place, find our bearings you know?”

Libby closed her eyes briefly and counted to 10 in her head. She was starting to get really annoyed now. 

“...John, that sounds great but we really do need to talk, about last night…”

“Oh don’t worry about the pub sweetheart, that was my treat” 

_...Ok, now he really is winding me up. _

“...Yeah and I ended up paying the tip. Look, I’m being serious…”

John ignored Libby’s attempts at steering the conversation towards more pressing matters. He finished off unpacking, zipped his case back up and shoved it under the bed all whilst seeming to pretend that Libby wasn’t standing just feet away from him. Yet again the man had clammed up and retreated into his shell at the first hint of a difficult situation. 

Libby was rapidly running out of patience. 

“...I think I left something in the car…”

John suddenly barged past Libby in his haste to get away, catching her shoulder and sending her tumbling to the floor with a shout. He didn’t bother to check she was ok, didn’t even look back as he rushed from the room and out the front door in record time. 

Libby winced at the sound of the front door slamming shut and sat up slowly in shock. She rubbed her elbow that had clipped the door frame and checked she hadn’t hit her head on the way down. Libby bit back tears as she shuffled sideways to lean against the wall. She sat in a stunned stupor for a while, breathing heavily and listening out for any signs of life, but there was nothing. 

Libby hoped that John would quickly come to his senses and return to check on her and apologise but no, he was gone, and by the sounds of it had taken the car with him. How many more chances could she give the man? 1, 5, 10? How many more times could Libby try and pull back John from the depths of despair? It was emotionally exhausting, and she didn’t know how much more she could take. 

It took everything Libby had to not scream out her frustrations and bang her fists against the wall. 

It would have been far too easy to just grab her case which she’d yet to unpack, call for a taxi and go back to London via the nearest train station or airport. Say fuck it, it wasn’t worth the stress, and admit to herself and her best friend that she’d made a huge mistake. Yet again though something held Libby back from throwing in the towel, and she couldn’t put her finger on what that was. 

Libby slowly stood, brushed herself off and took a deep steadying breath. She resisted the urge to call John or send him a text. He’d be back, she was sure of it, even if it was just to collect his things and say his goodbyes. Libby didn’t want the relationship to end, far from it, but if John did decide that it had run its course and they were better off apart, then she was fully prepared to accept as much as it broke her heart to think about it. Not once had she begged a man to stay with her, and she wasn’t about to start now. 

All Libby could do in the meantime was wait and make the best of it, and that started with a tour of their holiday home. 

Libby intended to keep one ear out for any signs of John return whilst she wandered about, but that was soon forgotten as the little cottage worked its magic on her. She walked slowly from room to room delighting in the cozy and comforting ambiance of the place. Libby had no idea how old the house was but it certainly had a traditional vibe to it, alongside all the mod cons a person could want, the perfect mixture of old and new. 

Being the middle of winter it was a somewhat fresh day with a definite chill in the air. Libby couldn’t work out how to get the heating on, so made do with a freshly brewed coffee instead to keep the cold at bay. She took her mug out into the garden, wrapped her scarf a little tighter around her neck and explored the very generously sized grounds that wrapped around the cottage, merging almost seamlessly into the nearby fields. 

Libby breathed in the crisp air as she walked, feeling it fill her lungs with its invigorating freshness. She strolled around enjoying the view, admiring the numerous plants and trees dotted about, what they were though she had no idea. Libby had never been green fingered, despite her mothers attempts to get her interested. She enjoyed having flowers around the house but based her choice on what simply looked and smelled good. 

It was a good 30 minutes before Libby decided to head back indoors, fueled both by the cold and the desire for another coffee. She only made it halfway back to the house though when movement caught her eye, followed by a familiar voice shakily calling her name. 

_ I knew he’d come back...let’s see what he has to say for himself.  _

………………………………

“We need to talk”

Libby gently placed a mug of tea on the table in front of John and took a seat opposite. John didn’t respond straight away. He stared at Libby like a deer caught in the headlights, wanting the ground to swallow him up. He’d managed to escape earlier but now with his back to the wall, and the door on the other side of the room he was trapped. 

“....Talk about what?” 

“About what happened last night” Libby replied quietly and calmly. She deliberately kept her voice low, wanting to avoid any further blow ups.

John had the good grace to look embarrassed. His face grew a deep shade of scarlet and he quickly looked away, gripping his mug with both hands. He’d naively thought he could avoid the subject if he kept quiet and keep his head down, but that strategy could only work for so long. It was time to come clean, and John was absolutely terrified. 

The previous evening he had blown his top and scared Libby shitless with it. Now Libby wanted answers, no matter how painful they may be. 

“...Look” Libby sighed sadly, “If...if you want me to go, then please just say it ok. I’m a big girl, so you don’t have to sugar coat it or try to protect me. If it’s over between us I’d rather know now so we can end things as cleanly as possible”

John’s head whipped round sharply, he stared at Libby with a look of horror. “What?! Of course it’s not over, I...I don’t want that at all...you don’t want that do you?!”

“No, no I don’t, but unless we talk about last night and what happened...what you said, well…then I don’t think we have much of a future” Libby shrugged. “You have to be honest with me, about what triggered you, so you,  _ we _ , can work out how to handle it if it happens again. So I can help you to help yourself, because I can’t live like this. We can’t have secrets, or keep things from each other” 

John was silent for a moment, mulling Libby’s words over in his head. He gripped his mug ever tighter, holding it against his chest in a protective gesture. 

“...You...you sound like a therapist” 

“Perhaps you need one?” Libby suggested with no hint of malice or judgement. 

“...I already have one” John whispered.

Libby was surprised by that as John hadn’t mentioned it before, but didn’t let it show on her face. The poor man clearly did have a lot of baggage weighing him down. Now she was more determined than ever to find out what that was. 

“How long have you been in therapy?” Libby asked gently. 

“...For years on and off...ever since, erm…well...”

Libby didn’t want to put words into John’s mouth but she had a good idea of what the man was trying to say. 

“Go on” She encouraged quietly, “It’s ok. I promise that not a word of what you tell me will leave this room. You can trust me, you know that don’t you?” 

John nodded, looking up finally to meet Libby’s concerned gaze. The man looked as tired as she felt, worn down and worn out. She wasn’t about to let him off the hook though, not a chance. She was going to get the truth out of him even if it took all night.

“...Erm, I…um...well...” John struggled to speak, he stammered as he felt his throat constrict from nerves. His anxiety was sky high, causing a choking sensation which brought tears to his eyes that threatened to spill down his cheeks. Sitting in his therapists office was nothing compared to this, it was more nerve wracking even than playing on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of screaming fans. 

Libby waited patiently whilst John gathered his thoughts. His palms were so sweaty he had to put down his mug to prevent it from slipping from his hands. 

“I...I don’t know where to start” John managed with a shaky voice, “I hate talking about myself and my feelings”

“I know, but you might find the more you do it the easier it gets?” Libby suggested kindly, “If you don’t try then you’ll never know. How about we start with last night, you got upset when the Queen song came on the radio, what happened?”

“...I was drunk” John shrugged.

“I think we both know it wasn’t just the drink talking. Look, I don’t want to start another fight or argument with you, but something definitely pissed you off, so please, tell me what happened. There’s no rush ok, so...just take your time”

John knew the game was up and he could avoid it no longer, he had to come clean and confess what was on his mind, what had been on his mind for many years, that he couldn’t escape from. 

“...I...I miss him…”

“Who?”

“...Fr...Freddie” Just saying the name was torture for John, something he’d been unable to do for so long for fear of bringing up bad memories. But now he’d done it and there was no going back”

“What do you miss about him?” Libby asked gently.

“...Everything, he...erm…” 

Libby leaned forward and gripped John’s hand in hers, “It’s ok, go on” 

“...He, erm...he was a beautiful man” John whispered, so much so Libby had to strain to hear him, “Not just physically, I mean...he was handsome of course, so very handsome, but he was kind and generous as well, to everyone he met. He looked after me from day one. He saw how nervous I was about performing in front of people, with meeting new people, and he took me under his wing...I was so young back then...he protected me you know, he kept me sane” 

Libby smiled sadly, and gripped John’s hand even tighter to show her support. She nodded and encouraged John to continue. 

“...He...he was my voice, I couldn’t sing, never could sing a note. I sounded bloody awful, so he sang for me. He knew, he just...he seemed to know without me telling him what I wanted, what I had in my mind, he bought my ideas to life and in such an incredible way as only he could. He stood up for me, encouraged me to write my own songs when I erm, when I didn’t think I could. He defended my ideas to the others even if they weren’t that great, he helped me to believe in myself….”

Libby looked on sadly as tears started to form in John’s eyes but she still didn’t interrupt, not wanting to stop the man now that he was talking freely. 

“I always felt comfortable around him, relaxed and at ease. He had that knack, no matter where we were in the world. We had some wonderful times, whether it was partying till dawn after a gig, or playing scrabble on the tour bus for hours on end. He hated to lose” John hiccuped and let out a small giggle at the memory which gave Libby hope. “One time he lost and threw the board across the room...he was never an angry person or violent though, god no...he was the gentlest soul you could ever meet”

“...You loved him didn’t you? He was your first real love” Libby ventured. 

John hesitated for a moment and then nodded, “Everyone loved Freddie, how could they not? But I...well, I looked up to him. He was a few years older than me and seemed so confident and self assured. I was drawn to him from day one, from the day I auditioned for the band, he was so exotic looking, and fashionable...and that voice...my god, it was seductive, so seductive. Having him there every night on stage next to me, it made it bearable. I was able to get through it even if sometimes my heart wasn’t always in it”

John wiped a hand across his face when he realised tears were quietly rolling down his cheeks. He blinked in annoyance and let out a huff. 

“I loved him so much...I adored him. I felt like he was my soul mate, you know, the one I really wanted to be with, but I had to hide how I felt...and then of course I met Ronnie. She came along at what seemed the perfect time, the band was just starting to take off although we weren’t making any money yet, and I needed a distraction. She liked me, I liked her, well...at least I thought she was cute enough and easy to talk to and get along with. We had fun together you know so I guessed being with her would make my life easier…”

“...and did it?”

John laughed darkly and rolled his eyes. 

“No. It was alright for a while, we dated on and off for a couple of years but then we had the shock of our lives when we discovered Ronnie was pregnant. I was terrified, we both were, her parents were furious. It would have been a huge scandal back then if we’d had a baby out of wedlock, so we had to get married and move in together. I didn’t want to...I thought I was too young. I didn’t want to be tied down…I went through with it though, with the wedding and hoped that once it was over and done with I’d grow to like being married. It wasn’t awful to be fair, we did have some good times, but I soon grew to resent it, to resent my wife, even my kids...christ I must sound like a right bastard...”

“No, not at all, you’re simply being honest, and I really respect that” Libby replied quietly. She got up and moved to join John on the couch where she rubbed a soothing hand up and down his thigh, and gave him an encouraging smile. 

“...I liked Ronnie, don't get me wrong, she was, still is, a wonderful mother to our children, and now she’s an excellent grandmother, but I never loved her...not really, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t give her my heart when it belonged to someone else, not when I had a huge crush on another man. We came close to splitting so many times I lost count, we were rowing and fighting all the time. We grew apart after only a few years, I was away so much with the band...she even threw me out at one point, I had to get myself a flat. I should have bloody well stayed there, but I missed the kids too much”

“...I’m sure they missed you too love, very much”

John chuckled darkly at that, “I doubt it, at the time I was hardly ever at home, the kids barely knew who I was...I missed so much of their lives...” John’s face suddenly crumpled and he broke down crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks, running off his nose and dripped onto his shirt.. 

“We should have divorced years ago, and I really wish we had, but I couldn’t bear the shame, the thought of the press finding out, god the stress would have killed me. I was trapped, stuck in a loveless marriage for so many years. I turned to drink to try and blot it all out, and slept with anyone who caught my eye...” John sobbed with his head bowed in shame, “I wanted to leave and pay Ronnie off, but I had to stay because of the kids, for the kids I never even wanted. I love them all dearly of course, but...I never wanted them...what would they think of me if they knew?...I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry….” 

“It’s ok...it’s ok, let it out my love, come on...it’s ok..you have nothing to be sorry for.” Libby pulled John into a gentle hug and held him as he cried, softly stroking his hair and whispering soothing and calming words in his ear. It took some time for John to calm down, embraced lovingly in Libby’s comforting arms. She held him tight and rocked him gently back and forth whilst she tried to stop her own tears from coming. The last thing she needed was to break down as well, John needed her to be strong. Strong for them both. 

Eventually after what seemed like hours John’s tears finally dried up. He extracted himself from Libby’s embrace and tiredly rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands whilst sniffing loudly. He looked utterly exhausted. 

Libby was feeling weary herself, it had been an emotionally draining weekend so far and there was no doubt more to come. John had opened up to her in ways she could never have imagined, but she was certain she hadn’t heard the whole story yet. John was still holding some things back and Libby was in two minds as to whether she wanted to know what they were. Hearing him confess that he’d never truly loved his wife and resented the births of his own children had been shocking enough, but saying that she could only begin to understand how hard it had been for John to live with, living a life that wasn’t his choice. 

“How are you feeling?” Libby asked quietly.

John sighed deeply and silently looked up to meet Libby’s quietly concerned gaze. 

“How about another cuppa?” Libby suggested and patted John’s knee, “I’ll go put the kettle on ok? Won’t be long” 

Libby pondered over the day's events whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, tapping her hand absentmindedly against the worktop. The atmosphere between herself and John was a lot less tense now he’d gotten some things out of his system, but it still needed a fair bit of work, and who could say how long it would take. Libby pondered over that thought and was about to turn to ask John if he wanted any sugar in his tea when he surprised her by wandering silently into the kitchen and slipped his arms around her waist. 

“Hello, what’s all this then?” Libby asked softly, smiling to herself. 

“...You’re an angel, you know that?” John whispered. He nosed gently at Libby's neck for a moment and then rested his chin on the top of her head with a sigh.

“I don’t deserve you” John continued, his voice a little rough, “Anyone else would have fucked off long ago the way I’ve behaved, the way I’ve treated you, but you…you listen to me, you really listen and you’ve never judged me for the mistakes I’ve made, I...I don’t know what I’d do without you”

Libby furrowed her brow at John’s comments. He hadn’t made mistakes at all in her opinion, he’d just made some poor life choices whilst under a huge amount of stress and emotional strain. It was true that the man had definitely tested her patience many times though, living with John could be challenging admittedly but the benefits outweighed the pitfalls, no question. 

Meeting John had transformed Libby's life in so many ways. It had saved her from having to potentially sell her flat and move away from London, given her a rewarding job and a beautiful home. Most importantly though of course she was now in a relationship with the man, a man who was everything that Libby had been looking for but hadn’t realised for so long. A man who was intelligent, well read, made her laugh and was prepared to be vulnerable around her. 

Libby had asked herself time and time again why she was still here, still willing to stick around and deal with the dramas and challenges that kept cropping up, when it would have been so easy to throw in the towel, to walk away, get her flat back and move on with her life. Libby hadn’t been able to answer that question recently, but now standing here in the kitchen of a holiday cottage in the remote Scottish countryside she had a lightbulb moment. 

It was simple, the reason she was standing there right now, embraced in John’s arms was that she loved him. 

_ I love him, I love John… _

The realisation hit Libby like a tonne of bricks and took her breath away. How on earth had she gone from wanting to kick the blokes arse just hours ago to this? They say you can’t help who you fall in love with, and my god how true that was in Libby’s case. She was besotted, she adored the man with all her heart and would defend him to the ends of the earth. 

The cynics of the world may well say John’s millions in the bank and his famous past were a major factor, and who could blame them? But it wasn’t as simple as that, and never had been. Libby wasn’t impressed with fame or money, more than anything all she wanted was for John to be at peace with his former life and to be able to openly talk about it, embrace it even. For his benefit and his nearest and dearest. 

“You’re very quiet sweetheart...” John murmured, “I..erm, I know this has all been a hell of a lot to take in, I’m so sorry to have dumped all this on you…”

“No, no it’s fine honestly” Libby managed, “Please, stop apologising. I’m so pleased you’ve been able to open up and talk about it, to tell me what you’re feeling, what you’re going through...but now there’s, well...there’s something I need to tell you as well…”

Libby eased herself out of John’s embrace and turned to face him. She looked up at him, at his tired and weary face and was about to reveal how she felt when there was a sudden knock at the door. 

“...What...who the hell is that?” Libby looked towards the door then back to John with a baffled expression, “We’re in the middle of nowhere?” 

John looked equally as confused then the penny dropped. 

“It’s the food delivery, I forgot it was coming today…”

Libby had to laugh at the sudden interruption, the way the weekend was going she really shouldn’t be surprised at anything. 

Libby helped John bring the parcel in, which was humongous and seemed to contain enough food to feed them both for a month of Sundays. It also didn’t escape her notice that several bottles of beer and wine were included too. Libby made a mental note to keep an eye on John's alcohol consumption during the coming few days, for the sake of both his mental as well as his physical health. It was no secret that John had suffered with a drinking problem in the past, and whilst she trusted the man to be sensible, she felt it her duty to discreetly monitor his consumption. 

It took a good hour to get everything unpacked and put away, with every kitchen cupboard and the fridge freezer stuffed full to bursting by the time they were finished. Libby wondered if they’d actually get through it all, though it didn’t hurt she guessed to be overprepared. Libby had visions of kicking back with a glass of wine or a coffee whilst John cooked a meal for them both, whipping up something simple but delicious whilst they chatted to each other. The thought made her smile fondly, John was an excellent cook and had a knack for making the most mundane and ordinary set of ingredients into something spectacular. 

“Right...well how about that cuppa now then?” Libby suggested once they were done. It had been so long that the water had gone cold so she had to start again. Her hands shook as she refilled the kettle causing her to spill water all over the floor. 

“Oh bugger, I’m so clumsy!”

“I’ve got it” John grabbed a tea towel and quickly dried the floor so neither of them would slip. He chucked the damp towel in the washing machine and then stood leaning against the doorframe a little awkwardly. 

“Do you, erm, need a hand?” 

“No, no I’m fine thanks”

John rubbed a hand across the back of his neck and watched Libby with her back to him, as she pottered about. “...Erm, you...you said earlier you had something to tell me?” 

_ Shit... _

Libby stiffened, pausing with the kettle in her hand. She hadn’t expected John to remember that in his emotionally drained and tired state. 

“I...yeah, yeah I did...you erm...you said earlier that you don’t deserve me, well that’s nonsense, course you do, because you deserve happiness just like anyone else. But more than that, you wonder why I’m still here, why I put up with you and how you’ve behaved, why I haven’t said fuck it and done a runner...well, the reason is...erm, well the truth is...I love you” 

Libby waited a moment for John’s reaction. She was breathing heavily and blinking hard, still holding the kettle. The silence though in the room was deafening, making her wonder if she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life. 

Libby put the kettle down and slowly turned around when John didn’t respond, gripping the countertop tightly, and bracing herself for...well, she didn’t really know what. John’s face though was an absolute picture, and almost made her laugh. His lips were parted slightly, his eyes wide like saucers, and eyebrows raised in shock. 

The pair stood in silence staring at each other, neither knowing what to say next. You could cut the tension with a knife. 

“...You...you’re only just realising that now?” John finally blurted out cheekily “That...you love me?” 

Libby wasn’t expecting that reaction from John at all and burst out laughing in surprise, but then her face suddenly crumpled and the floodgates opened, an emotional release from the strain and stresses of the day. 

John immediately regretted his choice of words and hurried over with a grimace to gather Libby into his arms. He was crying now as well, letting his own tears fall unashamedly. Once again their coffees were forgotten as they embraced, clinging to each other tightly. John’s tears mixed with Libby’s as they sobbed happily, full of emotion. John peppered Libby’s face with light and soft kisses and murmured soft and soothing words of apology. 

“You bastard…!” Libby hiccuped, “I don’t know why I put up with you, I really don’t…” 

“Because you love me?” John giggled. He pressed a gentle kiss to Libby’s forehead and then stroked the back of his finger across her cheek. He pulled back and looked at her adoringly. 

“After everything I’ve put you through, everything I’ve said and done…”

“...I’m a crazy bitch right?” Libby shrugged tearfully, “But...you know what they say, you can’t help who you fall in love with, I just got lucky I guess…”

John shook his head in disbelief. He’d been absolutely certain that Libby would up sticks and leave him after he’d confessed his sins, after admitting that he’d once had a thing for another man and had been unfaithful to his wife. He knew now though whatever happened he could and would never ever let Libby go. She was far too precious. 

“...No, no I’m the one who got lucky sweetheart, the moment you walked into my life. I did everything I could to get rid of you, I must have been crazy to try and push you away. I treated you like crap when instead I should have been thankful that such a beautiful and kind person crossed my path. You didn’t walk away, you stuck with me and gave me a chance, too many chances really, you have the patience of a saint”

_ He’s not wrong _ , Libby thought to herself. Never before had she put up with such nonsense from a man, and she’d surprised herself by the amount of grief and stress she’d been prepared to take from John. He was a special person though, very special. He was the most intelligent, intriguing and spell binding character Libby had ever met. He had drawn her in, cast his net and had her well and truly caught up in his world, a world which she was more than happy to be immersed in. 

“I nearly did walk away you know, more than once actually, but I stayed every single time because I thought you were worth it, and you are worth it, you really really are. You’ve proved to me now that I made the right decision” Libby declared with conviction, “I’ve never come across anyone quite like you John, and I mean that in a very good way”

“Likewise” John whispered, “I’m just...well, I’m stunned to be frank that after last night…” He tailed off with an embarrassed look on his face. 

“Hey, listen, you’ve been through some real shit, I doubt many people could put up with even a fraction of what you’ve been through and come out completely intact. I don’t know the half of it I’m sure but from what you’ve told me it’s a wonder you’re not in an asylum. I think you’ve earned the right to have a good old rant about it, do you feel any better now?” 

John looked thoughtful for a moment, “Yes...yeah I do, I do feel a lot better. You were right of course,  _ again _ . It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, letting it all out like that. I mean, I’ve told you things that I’ve never told anyone else, not my therapist, my friends...not even Ronnie knows..”

“Your secrets are safe with me” Libby smiled, “I’m just thrilled that you’re feeling better. I have to say you look...happier too, like a weight has been lifted you know?”

“That’s a very good way to describe it, I do feel lighter in a way…”

Libby was over the moon. Her attempts to get John to open up and share his pain could have gone either way, but to her relief it finally seemed that John had turned a corner and made the first step towards achieving the peace and calm that he needed and deserved. Libby was now hopeful that in time he would be more comfortable with his past, that he would open up further about it and maybe, just maybe even talk about it openly, regardless of whose company he was in. 

One step at a time though. 

“Well, how about that coffee now, 3rd time lucky!” Libby chuckled, she felt absolutely knackered and right now the only thing she wanted was to crash out, find something rubbishy on the telly, and to cuddle up with John for the rest of the day. 

“Sounds good to me” John replied softly, “But before you do that, there is something else…that I meant to say”

“Oh?”

“I love you too” 

  
  
  
  
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it folks, we have reached the end of the story (sob!) Many thanks to @cassandras-nest on Tumblr, for helping me to get the story off the ground, and to @johndeaconstoothgap for their help in plotting the last few chapters, I couldn’t have done it without them.

“How are you getting on my love?” 

“I’m almost there sweetheart, just need to let the pasta cook. It’ll be ready in about 10-15 minutes or so” 

Libby hummed quietly to herself as she pottered about in the little kitchen preparing dinner. A nice, quick and simple dish of spaghetti carbonara with garlic bread on the side. Libby loved to cook, and liked few things more than to impress her other half with a lovingly made meal, however; they were now on holiday, and holidays were for relaxing and not for slaving away for hours over a hot stove. 

John made himself useful by laying the table and then hunted through the fridge for a bottle of wine to go with their meal. He poured himself a small glass and leaned against the door frame, sipping at his drink and quietly watching Libby with fondness and adoration in his eyes. John had a lot to be thankful for and considered himself to be incredibly fortunate to have ended up in his position. In the company of a beautiful, kind and compassionate woman who saw past his flaws, overlooked his fame and bought out the best in him. 

The previous day had been hard going for the couple as John recalled with a sad smile, a rollercoaster ride of emotional turmoil which had left them both feeling utterly exhausted, but the struggle and pain had most definitely been worth it. Libby had broken down again when John had declared his love for her, that he loved her just as much as she loved him, if not more so. It was almost too much for her to take in even though deep down she had hoped that John felt the same way, that he was as devoted to her as she was to him. 

Libby had stood rooted to the spot and let the tears flow again, gazing up lovingly at the man who had stolen her heart and turned her whole world upside down. Once the initial shock had worn off the tears turned to laughter and she shook her head in disbelief at how things had turned out. 

The day had taken its toll on the pair, and after all the ups and downs they’d endured, the only thing they had the energy for was a quiet snuggle on the sofa. Libby couldn’t even be bothered with their coffees in the end, having had 3 false starts at getting a brew made. Instead they simply crashed on the couch with a bottle of water and some snacks, found a half decent film to watch on TV and sat quietly with Libby’s legs in John’s lap and him gently massaging her feet. 

John had to coerce Libby into going to bed when she dozed off halfway through the movie. Her head gradually lolled back and her eyelids drooped as she grew more and more tired from the stresses of the day. Eventually her head hit the back of the sofa and with her mouth open she snored for England. John watched in amusement for a few moments and considered briefly getting his phone out to record her but didn’t want to push his luck. 

Needless to say there was zero chance of any conjugal activity that night. Libby was simply content instead to rest her weary head on John’s bare chest and let the sound of his heartbeat lull her into a deep and peaceful sleep. John draped a protective arm across her shoulders and dozed off contentedly himself, safe in the knowledge that the rest of their holiday would be far calmer and more enjoyable than the first couple of days had been.

In many ways it would end up being the best holiday that John and Libby had ever had. 

John was bought back to the present by the sound of clattering plates and Libby announcing that dinner was ready. It was only at that point he realised how hungry he was. With the air now cleared between them his appetite had returned and he was very much looking forward to spending a relaxed evening with his lover over a comforting bowl of pasta and a bottle of wine. 

“How about a little music?” John suggested, gesturing to a compact digital radio sat on the kitchen counter, “For, you know, a bit of background noise?”

“Sure, why not?” Libby shrugged as she plated up the food and took a seat at the table. She was surprised at John’s decision considering what had happened at the pub the other night, but chose not to comment. She wasn’t religious at all but made a silent prayer to whoever was listening that nothing Queen related would grace the airways. 

“Well, here’s to us” John declared, raising his glass.

“Yes, cheers!” Libby smiled warmly, She clinked glasses with John and made herself comfortable. “I hope the bacon’s not too crispy for you, I got waylaid and took my eye off it for a moment”

“Oh no, no this is great” John enthused between mouthfuls and gave Libby a thumbs up, “It’s perfect, honestly” To be fair it could have been burnt to a cinder but he still would have devoured it. 

“Christ, someone was hungry!” Libby had barely made a dent in her meal by the time John was done. 

“I was, I’ve been looking forward to this all day” John smiled and then to Libby’s astonishment he picked up his plate with both hands and with all the grace and manners of a toddler started to lick it clean. Now this was totally unexpected. 

John went red in the face when he realised he was being watched. He coughed awkwardly and put his plate down slowly whilst avoiding looking Libby in the eye. It was like catching a kid with their hand in the cookie jar.

“...Sorry, I just couldn’t let that sauce go to waste…it was so good, you know...

Libby observed John with a smirk, “I’ll take it as a compliment. Look, don’t worry, I can hardly criticise when I’m partial to doing the same when I think no one’s looking…I just wouldn’t do that at the pub or when we’re out somewhere for dinner, it might not go down too well” 

“Yes boss, It’ll be our little secret” John grinned and gave Libby a mock salute, “Well, I have to say that was fabulous as always my love, I really enjoyed that” 

“I could tell, the way you demolished it! I’m glad you liked it. Fancy another glass?” Libby gestured at the bottle of wine on the table. 

“No, no thanks I’ve had enough. I’ll get the kettle on when you’re done” 

“Sounds great” Libby smiled before diving back into her meal. She listened attentively, nodding along as John leaned back casually in his seat and chatted away to her about their day. It didn’t escape her notice how much more relaxed he seemed; brighter, less stressed and more animated too. So chilled in fact that he didn’t react at all when a horribly familiar tune started playing in the background. 

_ Oh god no, not again... _

Libby froze for a moment in horror wondering if John had noticed, and debated making an excuse to go to the kitchen to discreetly change the radio station or turn it off altogether, but what happened next made her almost drop her fork in shock. 

“This song almost never happened you know” 

“...What’s that love?” 

A thoughtful look came over John’s face with a hint of amusement thrown in. “I came up with the bassline for this just mucking about one day at the studio, I didn’t think it was anything special so I didn’t bother noting it down. We all went for dinner afterwards, I had a few drinks and of course when we got back I’d forgotten the damn thing” 

Libby was too stunned to respond initially. Just two days ago John had freaked on hearing one of his own compositions played in public, yet here and now he was calmly chatting away about a Queen song playing on the radio like it was the most natural thing in the world, and he didn’t seem bothered at all. 

Oh how far the man had come. 

It almost brought tears to Libby’s eyes. If John was now more comfortable with discussing his past life without being prompted to, she certainly wasn’t going to stand in his way, quite the opposite in fact, she wanted to encourage it. Well, without making it a  _ thing _ , or a big deal. It had to be on John’s terms, and only as and when he was ready. 

“...Right, how awkward...so, erm...how did you get around that then?” Libby asked, even though she already knew the story having read about it several times online, and seeing it mentioned once in a TV documentary. 

“Oh it wasn’t a problem” John shrugged, “Rog remembered it thankfully, though of course I didn’t live it down for a while. Anyways, time for that cuppa now yeah?” 

“Please, make mine a coffee though love” 

Libby was quietly thrilled and so proud of John, proud beyond words of her man for the incredible progress he’d made in such a short space of time. It gave her real hope for the future. Libby briefly debated with herself whether to voice her sense of pride out loud or if she should keep a lid on it for a while? Would John be embarrassed by her bringing it up and retreat back to his old ways, or would he be disappointed if she didn’t mention it all, and think she didn’t care? 

There was only one way to find out. 

Libby got up from the table and wandered quietly over to John who was just finishing off making a pot of coffee. She gently rubbed a hand across his lower back and nudged her head against his shoulder like a cat seeking attention. 

“Hello you, what’s all this then?” John chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Libby’s head. 

“I’m very proud of you” 

John stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Libby who was gazing at him with a serious but loving look on her face. 

“I mean it” Libby nodded. She reached up to gently cup John’s face in her hands, and rubbed soft circles across his cheek with her thumb. John leaned into her touch and closed his eyes which glistened with unshed tears. It had been incredibly difficult for him to open up to her, to speak about his past, albeit briefly, and to have Libby acknowledge that was a huge boost to his confidence. 

John had been silently mulling over what had happened at the pub and what he had said and done. He was ashamed of himself. Embarrassed at how he’d lost control, shown himself up in public and came close to losing the woman he loved as a consequence. He’d made a vow once he’d calmed down to never let himself get into such a state again, not just for his sake but for Libby too. She had put her trust in him and he was going to repay that trust whatever it took, and if that meant swallowing his pride and asking for her help then so be it. 

  
  


John had a long way to go, he knew that much. This was just the start of a very difficult journey, one of personal growth that would no doubt have many ups and downs along the way, but the pain would certainly be worth it, and with Libby beside him, supporting and cheering him on he surely couldn’t fail. 

“...It wasn’t all bad” John said quietly whilst gently peeling Libby’s hands from his face, “We did have good times you know, some really good times. I’ll tell you about them one day, I want to share them with you, I really do...” 

“...and you will when you’re ready” Libby smiled, “I don’t doubt you’ve had some amazing experiences, and I would love to hear all about them, but only when you’re ready. Just...take your time, and go at your own pace” 

“I never used to be like this, it’s only in recent years that I’ve...that I’ve found it hard to talk about my past…for many reasons...” 

“You don’t need to justify yourself to me, my love. All I want is for you to be comfortable with who you are, and at peace with it, and I do think that talking about it will help, even if it is only to me and your therapist”

“I don’t think I need bother with my therapist anymore, now that I have you” 

“Lets...not be hasty sweetheart, you can make that decision once we’re back home yeah?” Whilst thrilled that John was opening up to her, Libby still believed he needed the back up and support of a trained professional, someone who could provide the skills and experience that she couldn’t. 

“Yeah...yeah you’re right” John sighed, “It’s not fair of me to dump everything on you”

“Hey, you can vent and rant at me as much as you like” Libby countered, “Get it all off your chest if that’s what it takes for you to feel better. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course” 

“Are you proud of yourself?” 

John blinked in response and looked down at Libby with a frown. That wasn’t the type of question he’d expected. 

Libby chuckled softly at the look on John’s face, “I didn’t mean that to sound rude, I’m simply wondering, are you proud of what you’ve achieved? During your time in Queen I mean?” 

“...Well, I erm…” John hesitated to answer, instead choosing to rub a hand round the back of his neck to try and buy himself some time. 

“You should be” Libby replied simply, “You should be incredibly proud of yourself. I mean you’re an incredible musician, you’ve written some amazing songs, performed in front of millions around the world…you’ve made a lot of people very happy” 

John’s face was unreadable for a moment as he processed Libby’s comments. She wasn’t wrong, he had achieved a lot in a relatively short period of time, a hell of a lot. He’d worked his arse off for years and to some extent was now reaping the rewards. He’d been financially secure since his early 30’s, had a beautiful house and loving family...but it was all at the cost of his mental health. Sure he’d given others a lot of pleasure with his work, but what about him? Had it really all been worth it? 

“John love?” Libby was looking at him with concern in her eyes, “Tell me what you’re thinking? Something’s bugging you” 

“...I…” John sighed, and ran a hand through his thinning hair, “Erm...oh god, I must come across as a right miserable, ungrateful bastard at times…”

“I don’t think you are, not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. No one has the right to criticise you for your actions or the decisions you made, they don’t understand the stresses and pressures you were under. Anyone who dares question you can go fuck themselves, and I will personally kick their arse” 

John laughed out loud at that and the serious look on Libby’s face. “I know I shouldn’t care what others think about me, but it still hurts sometimes when I read about myself in the papers. when the movie came out it ramped up again, all these stories about me...it made me question whether I’d done the right thing when I retired...if I hadn’t turned my back on the music business, turned down all the interview requests, if I’d continued performing, would my life be easier now? Would there be less interest in me? Does...does that make sense?”

“It does, it makes perfect sense, and I think you know the answer to that. From what you’ve told me your heart wasn’t in it anymore and when you get to that point, no matter what business you’re in, then it’s time to walk away no matter how painful it is”

John nodded slowly, “I am proud of my career, I am...I just...well I just wish in some ways it could have been different”

“How so?” 

“I only wanted it to be a part time thing, a bit of fun, you know? I would have been ok with gigging for a couple of years before things went mad and then moving on quietly to do something else, teaching perhaps or running a studio...but then, if that had happened, would I have the financial security I do now, and would I actually be any happier?” 

“I guess we’ll never know the answer to that, hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it? I’m sure everyone thinks that sometimes, what if”

“I can’t change the past, I know that” John admitted, “But, I don’t want to live with any regrets either…”

“So don’t then” 

“If only it were that simple…” 

“It’s not, but you’ll come to embrace it all in time, the good times and bad, I know you will. I have faith in you” 

John smiled and took Libby’s hands in his, gripping them softly and rubbing his thumbs across her palms. “I really do love you, you know” 

“I guess someone has to” Libby joked and gave John a cheeky wink. She finished off making the coffees that John had started and poured them both a generous mug, then topped them off with an even more generous helping of milk, cream and sugar. 

“Here, get that down you” Libby handed a mug to John who peered at it in disbelief. 

“Oh nice and healthy then?!” John still took a large sip despite his protests, and changed his tune as soon as he tasted the hot liquid, “My god….” He groaned, “ _ This _ is how we’re making coffees from now on, like this, every time. Well...at least whilst we’re on holiday” 

“Calories don’t count when you’re on holiday” Libby agreed, “Besides, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to burn it off…”

“I’m sure we will” John grinned, “Lets go enjoy these in the lounge” He took Libby’s free hand and guided her towards the sofa. They both took a seat and quietly enjoyed their coffees whilst stealing loving glances at each other. 

The atmosphere in the house and between the pair was relaxed and calm even with the difficult discussions about John’s past. Libby had held John’s feet to the fire and insisted he open up to her and now they were no longer peering at each other from across a gulf of secrets and emotional baggage. John felt liberated in a way, freed from the invisible shackles that had been tying him down. As he sipped at his coffee and gazed lovingly at the women besides him he realised to his surprise that he was becoming liberated in a physical way too…and it hadn’t escaped Libby’s notice either. 

“Someone is feeling more relaxed I see, a lot more relaxed” Libby smirked and gestured towards John’s lap. 

“That’s your fault that is” John giggled, “Sitting there looking all gorgeous and sexy” 

Libby smiled broadly and fluttered her eyelashes, “Oh you flatterer, keep that talk up and I’ll show you something else that’s sexy”

“Oh, well in that case…” John downed the rest of his coffee and placed his mug on the table, then leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to Libby’s lips. Libby responded by snaking a hand around the back of John’s neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and running her other hand through his soft, fine hair. 

Libby pulled back after a few minutes, breaking off the kiss to catch her breath and stroked a finger softly across John’s cheek. She held his gaze and found herself mesmerised by his beautiful grey eyes that sparkled with love and desire. Libby felt her own eyes moisten with unshed tears, but they were far from tears of sadness. They came instead from a place of happiness, of relief, and of adoration for the most extraordinary person she had ever met. 

“Are you ok sweetheart?” John asked softly. 

“Never better my love” Libby stroked a thumb across John’s lower lip and then leaned forward to press her forehead against his, “...Shall we...shall we go to the bedroom…?”

John nodded eagerly, but then a thought crossed his mind, “Do we have…?” Libby silenced him with a peck on the lips before he could finish, she knew what his question was going to be. 

“Yes love, plenty…”

With that John quickly stood taking Libby with him, and wrapped his arms around her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then silently took her hand to lead her down the hallway and up the stairs. Libby bit her lip and let herself be carried along on a wave of excitement, trying not trip up as she went. 

The pair were both quietly buzzing with arousal and anticipation as they entered the bedroom. John shrugged off his cardigan and tossed it casually away before turning his attention to Libby who had already started to work on the buttons of her shirt.

“Allow me love” John whispered. He stepped forward and slowly worked his way through the rest of the buttons, taking the time to part the fabric as he went to reveal Libby’s lacy white bra underneath. He had already decided this wasn’t going to be hard and fast, he wanted to take things nice and slow, and to enjoy it for as long as possible. 

Libby clearly had the same goal in mind. She groaned in appreciation as John slipped her shirt off her shoulders and onto the floor, then smoothed the palms of his hands up and under the cups of her bra, pushing it up to unveil her beautiful, firm warm breasts. Libby tossed her back when John then leaned down to tease and lick at her nipples, working on one and then the other with great enthusiasm. 

“...You’re so beautiful sweetheart...absolutely perfect” John murmured as he peppered Libby’s chest with soft and light kisses. He reached around her back and deftly unhooked her bra with one hand enabling her to shimmy out of it and throw it across the room with abandon. 

“You’re getting good at that love” Libby smirked, “One handed now, I’m impressed!” 

“Practice makes perfect” John agreed with a wink, and then eased himself out of his t-shirt, throwing it behind him before pulling Libby into a passionate embrace. Hands roamed everywhere within reach, touching, stroking and caressing whilst the pair engaged in a deep and loving kiss. Libby was in heaven as John crushed her against his bare chest, his generous chest hair tickled her skin making her giggle happily. 

“..Darling” Libby breathed, “What do you say, we get rid of these?” She gestured towards John’s lower half and toyed with his belt. “I’ll do yours if you do mine?” 

John didn’t need to be asked twice, he made swift work of Libby's belt whilst she in turn relieved John of his. Trousers and jeans were then swiftly dropped and kicked out of the way allowing the pair to slowly shuffle towards the bed whilst still in each other's hold, and somehow managing to avoid tripping over. Libby broke off the kiss long enough to gently push John down onto the bed and climbed on after him. 

John shuffled backwards towards the headboard and kneeled up ready to push his boxers down but was stopped suddenly by Libby’s hand on his. She bit her lip and looked up at him, fluttering her eyelashes seductively, it was pretty obvious what she was hinting at. John responded by nodding and shifted his hips forward to allow Libby room to work. She toyed with the waistband of his briefs for a moment, licking her lips in anticipation. 

“Sit back for me sweetheart, it’ll make this easier…”

John raised an eyebrow questioningly but obeyed all the same, shifting his legs underneath him so he could lay back, propping himself up on his elbows to watch. Libby hooked her fingers around the waistband of John’s underwear and slowly eased them down allowing his erection to spring free. The sight of his rock hard member made her mouth water and a small groan escaped her lips. 

“You ok there my love?” John smirked. 

“...Oh god yes…” Libby breathed, “I’m gonna enjoy this…” 

With his underwear now out of the way Libby admired John’s naked form laid before her. She took a moment to drink in the glorious sight, running her fingers gently through his thick chest hair, down his abdomen and towards his crotch. She smoothed her hands across John's hips, teasing at his pubic hair and smiled to herself at the soft sighs coming from the man. 

Libby got herself comfortable, steadying herself with one hand on John’s thigh and then leaned down to lick a firm stripe up his length from base to tip. John’s hips jerked in response and he hissed in pleasure tipping his head back. Libby smiled widely to herself, she had a feeling tonight was going to be special in many many ways. 

“Relax sweetheart, I’m gonna make you feel so good…” Libby cooed softly. She leaned down again and this time took the tip of John’s cock in her mouth, sucking softly and swirling her tongue over the head. She gripped the base with her free hand and squeezed gently, before reaching down and rolling the man’s testicles between her fingers. 

Gradually Libby worked her way down, taking as much of John’s length into her mouth as she comfortably could without choking. She sucked and licked, scraping her teeth across the soft warm, musky scented skin, and hummed as she went, building up a rhythm that had both her and John teetering on the edge of heaven. 

John’s quiet moans and sighs were as much a turn on as the man himself. Libby imagined in her head what she wanted to do to him, her incredible lover who had an affect on her like no one else. She was strung like a live wire by now, really going to town at the task in hand and could feel the arousal in her groin building to almost unbearable levels. 

Finally she could take it no longer.

Libby pulled off John’s cock with a loud pop, and pressed a soft kiss to the tip. John looked down in surprise at the loss of contact and reached out a trembling hand to encourage Libby to continue, but she had other ideas. 

“I think it’s time for part two now my love…” Libby breathed with a twinkle in her eyes. She shimmied out of her now soaked panties and reached across John to the bedside table for a condom and bottle of lube. John smacked Libby lightly on the backside and gripped her around the waist before pulling the giggling woman in for a deep kiss. 

“Your turn?” John asked.

“Not just yet” Libby kissed John on the nose and wriggled out of his grip to kneel back between his legs. She gave John a wink at his confused look, before carefully ripping open the condom packet. She gave him a quick squeeze and then slowly rolled the sheath down his length, saying a silent prayer of thanks that this time the man hadn’t seemed to have lost his mojo at the last minute. 

John almost forgot how to breathe as he watched Libby lube him up, slathering him with handfuls of the slick substance. It now dawned on him what her plan was and a panicked look briefly crossed his face. 

“...My love, we...we can’t yet...I mean, you haven’t…you...”

Libby shushed John with a finger to his lips, “Relax my darling, you are all the foreplay I need” 

With that Libby shuffled forward to straddle John’s hips. She rose up on her knees, got herself into position and then with great care lowered herself down slowly onto John’s cock whilst keeping a grip on it with a shaking hand. Her thighs trembled and ached slightly with the effort of keeping herself upright. 

“...Shit…oh fuck…”

John swore softly at the incredible sensation, Libby was deliciously tight and hot around him as she sank down lower and lower. She braced herself on John’s chest with both hands as she eventually bottomed out, gasping at the intense stretch and feeling of fullness. 

“Are you ok?” John whispered, stroking a hand across Libby’s cheek. 

Libby nodded silently, bowing her head and closing her eyes briefly as she adjusted to John’s girth. 

“...Yeah, just...give me a second love”

It took all of John’s strength to keep still whilst he waited patiently for Libby to get comfortable. He helped steady her by gripping her gently around the waist, rubbing soft circles on her abdomen with his thumbs. After a few moments Libby relaxed and shifted her hips experimentally which drew a gasp from John. 

“Oh christ, my god sweetheart you feel incredible!”

“So do you my love, better than I ever could have imagined...” 

Libby started off slowly, circling her hips at first and then rocked back and forth, bouncing slightly as she went. She was out of practice but John didn’t give a toss, he was simply content to lay back and admire the heavenly view of his girlfriend riding him and the fact that she was clearly enjoying every moment. Libby’s face contorted in pleasure as she gradually sped up and leaned forward to increase the friction against her pubic bone. John meanwhile reached up with both hands to stroke and play with Libby’s breasts, rolling her nipples gently between his fingers. 

The room was filled with the soft sounds of skin slapping against skin, Libby’s pleasured sighs and John’s quiet grunts. Libby, who was initially content with taking things steady, got more and more worked up and before long gripped onto the headboard for leverage and rolled them both hard and fast. She was breathing hard, with beads of sweat breaking out on her forehead and was on the verge of going over the edge already. 

John was gasping himself in an effort not to come too soon, clutching at Libby as she writhed above him in ecstasy. He was thoroughly enjoying the experience of course but decided there and then it was time to slow things down again a bit. With a monumental effort John sat up and in one fluid motion flipped himself and Libby over so she was underneath him with him still inside her. Libby squealed in surprise and stared up at John whilst she panted heavily, and shot him a questioning look. 

“...Wha...John, love...?” 

“Shhhhh sweetheart” John whispered, “This is incredible, it really is but it’s your turn now” 

WIth that John carefully and slowly pulled out causing Libby to whine in disappointment, but she was soon placated when John shuffled backwards to lay down in between her legs. He looked up briefly, shot her a cheeky wink and then with his hands braced on her spread thighs started to nose at her groin. He kissed and sucked gently, swirling his tongue over her little bundle of nerves. 

The response from Libby was immediate, she cried out in pleasure and threw her head back narrowly avoiding hitting the headboard. 

“...Fuuuuuck! Oh...fuck me!...”

“That’s the plan sweetheart” John mumbled from between Libby's legs, “Just relax and let me take care of you now”

John was as good as his word, putting both his skilled fingers and tongue to good use and worked on turning Libby into a frazzled, incoherent mess. She clawed at the bedsheets, grabbing fistfuls just to have something to hold on to, and had to bite her lip to stop herself from screaming out John’s name. 

John continued to pleasure Libby for several minutes, gently squeezing her thigh with his free hand as he worked. His other hand was occupied with seeking out one particular spot that he knew could be hard to find but would be oh so worth the effort once he did. He gently inserted a finger and crooked and searched, pushing upwards ever so slowly until he reached his goal.

_ Where are you? I know you’re here somewhere… _

“...Jesus...!” 

_ Bingo... _

Libby almost arched right off the bed when John found her g spot, he had to throw an arm across her legs to prevent her from kicking him in the head. He massaged the sensitive spot for a few moments and then took pity on the thrashing woman when her moans of passion turned to breathy sobs. 

“Don’t stop now love, please!” Libby raised her head and stared at John in disbelief when he removed his fingers. She’d been on the verge of an orgasm twice by now and was getting desperate for some relief. John had a wicked glint in his eye as he pressed a soft kiss to Libby’s clit and then leaned back on his haunches to catch his breath. He licked his lips, drank in the beautiful sight of Libby looking absolutely wrecked before him, and then pulled her into his lap. 

“...Don’t leave me hanging darling please…” Libby practically begged, “I’m suffering here!” 

“As if I would do that” John smirked. He took his cock in hand, brushed the tip lightly across Libby’s entrance and then pushed in with one long thrust, punching a whimper from Libby’s lips. John propped himself up his elbows and settled into a gentle rhythm of soft and romantic love making that had Libby sobbing happily beneath him. John brushed a stray tear from Libby’s cheek, and caressed her flushed and heated skin with the back of his hand. She leaned into the touch and closed her eyes with a dreamy expression on her face. 

The pair lost track of time as they rocked together with Libby’s legs wrapped tightly around John’s waist to pull him as close to her as possible. It could have been 10 minutes, or 10 hours, they didn’t care. All that mattered was that they were finally physically expressing their love for each other in the most intimate of ways. 

Libby was in heaven and didn’t want it to end, but it was only a matter of time before the heat that had been building between her legs reached explosive levels and threatened to push her over the edge. She clung tightly to John, gasping and clutching desperately at his biceps whilst he nosed at Libby’s neck, nuzzling, whispering soothing loving words and peppering her with soft and gentle kisses everywhere within reach. 

“John, my god...I don’t...I…” 

“You almost there sweetheart?” John breathed, shifting his weight as he felt his own climax rapidly approaching. “Come on my love, let go, let go for me, I’ve got you”

One more deep thrust from John was all it took for Libby to go tumbling over the precipice. Her whole body shook as her orgasm crashed over her suddenly like a tsunami, causing her to cry out and bury her face in John’s shoulder. John himself was just seconds behind, reaching his own climax with a deep groan. 

It took a few moments for the couple to catch their breath and process what had just happened. Happy tears spilled down Libby's cheeks at the realisation that they had consummated their union, this coupled with the emotional turmoil of the last few days was almost too much to take. She closed her eyes, still shaking slightly and let her head fall back heavily against the mattress. 

“Sweetheart? are you ok?” John’s soft voice filtered through the air into Libby’s brain and roused her from her near slumber. 

“...I...nghhhhm…fuckkk...” Libby mumbled incoherently which made John chuckle. He pulled out slowly and carefully, deposited the condom in the bin and then flopped out on the bed next to Libby with a happy sigh. He couldn’t recall a time in his life where he’d felt more content and blissed out. 

John rolled over onto his side propping himself up on one elbow, and gazed lovingly at Libby in a sleepy and satiated haze. He took Libby’s hand and stroked soft circles around her palm with his thumb. 

_ I’m the luckiest man on Earth. What did I do to deserve this glorious creature in my life? _

Libby finally came to her senses and turned her head to look at John, returning his adoring gaze. “I have to say...that was...that was...wow” Libby giggled and threw her free arm across her face. She felt like a teenager in her first throes of love. 

“You’re telling me” John replied softly, “I was hoping our first time would be good, but that was something else...” 

Libby rolled onto her side, still clasping John's hand, and shuffled over slightly so she could press her body up against his. They were rather sweaty and in need of a shower, but neither wanted to move just yet, they were perfectly content instead to bask in their post coital glow for as long as they could. Before they got too settled John grabbed a blanket from a chair next to the bed to snuggle up under, and to keep the growing chill in the air at bay. 

Libby pulled the blanket up under her chin and tangled her legs up with John’s, rubbing her feet against his. They traded soft kisses for a while, bumping noses, stroking, caressing each other and whispering sweet nothings. The type of aftercare that made Libby swoon and fall in love all over again. 

Love…

_ I’m in love. _

The thought brought a wide smile to Libby’s face.

She hadn’t been this happy for years, and honestly thought she never would be again until only very recently. She could never have dreamed that when she first met John she would one day become his lover, his partner and the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He certainly hadn’t made things easy for her at times, and it had hardly been love at first sight. Despite all that though John had worked his magic on her, in his own special way that was difficult for Libby to put into words, all she knew was that she had fallen hard and had no intention of ever looking back. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” John asked quietly at the thoughtful look on Libby's face. He stroked a finger gently across her cheek, “What are you thinking about?”

“How much I love you” Libby replied, “How lucky I am to have met you, and to be in your life”

“I’m the lucky one” John countered, with a slight tremor in his voice, “I spent so long in a fog, going through the motions and pretending everything was fine. You came along at just the right time, when I was at rock bottom and needed help, but I wouldn’t let anyone in. If you hadn’t stuck with me…”

“Stubbornness can be a force for good it seems” Libby giggled softly, “Seriously though, I wouldn’t have stuck it out if I didn’t think you were worth it, and you are, you so so are”

“I love you Libby Johnson, you’ve bought out the best in me” John gently took Libby's face in both hands and pressed a deep kiss to her lips.

“I feel like my life has been saved”

End. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we have it, the story is done! I hope this was a fitting end to the tale, and I did the couple justice. This is not the end for John and Libby though, I already have a sequel in mind to cover the next chapter in their lives, and will feature a lot more of the extended family. 
> 
> Watch this space....!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Beautiful Stranger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27885064) by [mrs_deacon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_deacon/pseuds/mrs_deacon)




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